A/N: It's been a long time, my lovelies, but here's the update! (PS, Caroline—me—is a WWE fan, FYI).

Disclaimer: I guess I never really did one of these, did I? Oh well. Star Wars doesn't belong to me, neither does Anna. I'm not doing this for profit, but feel free to send me money.


The next morning, they entered the Torture Chamber red-eyed from an all nighter, and subdued from hearing talk about Order 67 again. "Morning, Lord Vader," they said. It was by far the most unenthusiastic greeting he had ever gotten from them. But their lack of, "Yo! Big V! What's up in the hizouse, biznatch?" did not keep him from lecturing them. He railed for hours, it seemed, all about how inadequate they were. It didn't help their self-esteem any, but two good things did come of it. One, by the time he was done, they were so pissed at him that they forgot all about Order 67 and being nice, subdued little girls, and two, they discovered the mind-to-mind Force talking.

Years later, many scholars would debate over which of the girls discovered it first. Some say Caroline, but it was Anna who did most of the work.

Caroline, about catatonic but still alive enough to be ticked at Vader, concentrated on the Force. Maybe she'd see a vision or something to entertain her. Sadly, there was no vision, only whiteness. Kill me, she thought as she withdrew, knowing she'd have to go back to listening to stuffy old Lord Vader.

A couple of moments later, she heard a reply. What's he talking about now? I think I fell asleep.

Anna E.?

Who else?

This is awesome!

Yeah! So what's he talking about?

Something about even Obi-Wan being ashamed of us, I think.

Ouch!

Tell me about it. Should we show him?

Sure. Now's a good time. One… two… three… ignite.

Vader was still prattling about what a disappointment they were to any self-respecting Force user, and, yes, that meant the Jedi too, when he heard two snap hisses coming from right in front of him. Where the girls were…

He saw, with a start, that both girls had working lightsabers, Anna's blue, Caroline's green. I must have left the storage locker unlocked, he thought, irritated. "Where did you get those?" he demanded, though he already knew the answer. They had stolen them.

"We built them."

"That is impossible."

Anna smirked. "Nothing's impossible with the Idiot's Guide to Lightsabers."

Both of them felt a presence in their mind—Vader trying to see if they were lying. They tried to put up mental shields, but since they had known of their abilities for about a minute, the shields were about as good against Vader as tissue paper against a charging rhinoceros.

Unbelievable… Vader thought. He had not emerged from their minds unscathed, finding several disturbing things about Hayden Christensen and some half-naked sweaty men, but there was no indication that they were lying, and their stories matched.


Much as they hated to admit it, by the time two more months had passed, both Anna and Caroline knew—but would never admit it—that Vader had been…right. They weren't to be trusted with real working lightsabers. During sparring sessions, both wit druids and with each other, their famed grace had struck several times. Caroline had a couple of artificial fingers. Anna had a nasty burn on her shoulder that had nearly decapitated her right arm, and her hair was a shorter, but the follicles hadn't been scorched, so it was already growing again.

Even with these…setbacks…the girls were actually improving. They had learned more about the Force, but not that much. Vader couldn't make them too strong, because of the politics. They were definitely Sith (but they refused to take up the red-bladed sabers, muttering something about 'mounties' whenever Vader broached the subject), and that was what they wanted (they practically idolized Qui-Gon and Master Yoda, but stuffed shirts like Obi-Wan and Mace Windu were also Jedi), but Darth Bane's 'only two' rule presented problems.

Caroline snuck up and put her hands over Vader's optical sensors. Lord Vader was sparring with Anna, and the young apprentices were not above cheating to hand Lord Vader his first defeat in 20 years.

Vader did lose the duel, but not because of Caroline's blinding. "Sir," a trooper announced, stepping through the door, "Emperor Palpatine's shuttle is approaching."

"Hide the rum," Caroline muttered, blatantly quoting to get a few cheap laughs.

"Very well," Vader replied. "We will finish this later," he told Anna, meaning the blue saber pointing at his control pane.


Palpy got out of his ship, and regarded the bowing Vader. "Get up," he commanded.

"What is thy will, my master?"

Palpy spoke like he was talking to a three year old, not a Dark Lord of the Sith in his forties. "Are woo in wuv?"

The question startled Vader out of his respect. "What?" he demanded.

"You've kept these…girls on your ship for seven months! Which one are you boning?"

Vader spluttered, which was a first, or close to one. "I do not know what you're talking about."

Palpy rolled his eyes. "How dumb do you think I am? You haven't had any action since Panda Bear, or whatever her name was, bit it. C'mon. You're a guy. Obi-Wan didn't cut off your penis. Which one are you boning?"


Anna and Caroline loved their mind-to-mind abilities. It was especially great in the mess hall (it had a technical name, but bunches of troopers and officers all eating stringy pasty with runny sauce, for example, is definitely messy), where they were surrounded by other people.

Hey, Anna, check out Admiral Piett.

Shoot dang it. Who's the redhead?

I dunno, but that's a pretty extreme bustier.

Piett's got a girlfriend!

Ooh, scandalous. She looks like a red Wookie.

The two, who were sitting on opposite ends of the mess hall (Piett was in the middle), burst out laughing.

She's looking at us.

Weird. Do her eyes point different ways?

Maybe she's inbred.

They laughed loudly again.

Hey. Anna E.

What?

Food fight!

Caroline lobbed her pudding—it was tapioca anyway—at the redhead, but missed, and it splattered on Piett's secretary—excuse me, Piett's aide. The secre—aide—a short, bulky man with an outrageous temper, stood up, fuming, and tossed his tray at where he thought the offending tapioca had come from. He missed as well, and hit one of the cafeteria druids, who responded with ladles for of salsa. Soon everyone joined in with gusto.

It's pandemonium!

Caroline?

What? Pandemonium's a fun word.

Holy hell!

What?

Ice down the shirt.

Sorry. I meant to get the chick in the stormie armor.

That was you?

You know, string cheese is really one of man's finest inventions…


"I am not having sexual relations with either of those young girls!" Vader protested.

Anna and Caroline had not learned to shield their conversations—they didn't even know they had to—so anyone more powerful than them heard what they thought to each other involuntarily. Palpy was opening his mouth to reply when, Hey, Anna, check out Admiral Piett, echoed through their minds. "So," the Wrinkled Wonder snarled, back in movie canon in a flash, "Your pillow talk includes the Force?"

They stood there in tense silence, unwilling participants in the girls' gossip, until a few minutes later when a filthy Anna and Caroline burst in.

"What are you doing here," Vader demanded, still defensive.

"Our ears burned."

"Were you talking about us?"

"Who are you?" Palpy asked, looking at them in slight wonder, taking in the fact that they were covered in food and completely unabashed, like they'd seen true mess, and liked it.

Anna stepped forward. "Got 30 down at the bottom, 30 mo at the top, all invisible set wit little ice cube blocks. If I could call it a drink, call it a smile on the rocks, if I could call out a price, lets say I call out a lot. I got like platinum and white gold, traditional gold, I'm changin girllz errday, like Jay change clothes."

Caroline stepped forward as well. "You don't have to love me. You don't even have to like me. But you will respect me. You know why? Cause I'm a boss!" She smirked. I think that went well.

I can hear you, you know.

Get out of my head, or my foot will bisect your butt.


A/N: I just have to say that that's it. It's shorter—and better—than my hard copy, so please review. But it's finished. Done. Completed. Much more in my hard copy, but a twisted plot was starting to emerge, but that was just too much. This is an Insane Adventure story, and almost all IA stories eventually abandon plotless annoyance. Let me just say, that, in conclusion, since nobody guessed, the donor of the chick storm troopers was Padme. Au revoir. If you have anything crazy that you think will happen to Anna and me in the future, then you're probably right. I've got a couple of good plot bunnies, but it'll probably be a while before I post, because I want to finish and rewrite a couple of times to put in actual foreshadowing and cliffies. So don't lose hope, even if my current project is a Phantom phic. Au revoir, once again.

Review.

May the Force be with you.