I do not own Naruto. Never will.

For this chapter, I was listening to Jon Bon Jovi's 'Welcome to wherever you are'. There's a part of that song that just may apply to a part somewhere in the end.

LIMITS

The next day, Kakashi had to listen to Gai babble some speech of happiness and about friends helping friends in need. Kakashi couldn't help but wonder if Gai, back during his ANBU days, needed to help Iruka by making out with him.

Gai got serious after his long speech. "When do you want to start and how much strength do you need?"

"As soon as possible. And as much as I can get. Without the help of chakra."

Gai eyed him. "Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't."

Gai nodded, seemingly pleased with his answer. "We'll start tonight then."

"Can't. Not in the evenings. I have training with Iruka."

Gai blinked then grinned. "Oh. I see."

You see what, fuzzy?

"Yeah. So, how about in the mornings? I need it for the Sharingan. So give me the fastest way."

Gai didn't look happy. "The fastest way will kill you."

As if I wasn't killed when Iruka mentioned you were his first kiss!

"I think I can handle it."

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Gai said.

Oh shut up!

"I won't."

"Tomorrow then, at dawn. And really, Kakashi. If you are serious, you'd show up on time."

"I will." Kakashi nodded.

XXX

He did show up on time the next day.

Kakashi didn't think it'd be completely and utterly mind-racking difficult. While he was physically fit, he relied on chakra too much. He was inwardly cursing repeatedly after Gai sealed his chakra. He didn't get to see the technique because Gai had asked him to close his eyes; it happened in an instant, leaving Kakashi feeling a bit wobbly at first.

Then hell started.

"Subconsciously, as ninjas, we channel chakra in our everyday movement without thinking so. That is why, our balance are near perfect when it needs to be. But if we seal our chakra, and train, we're as good as any common citizen of Konoha who've never done ninjutsu. There's a reason they teach us chakra control first while doing cardiovascular exercises to build our stamina." Gai lectured, arms folded across his chest as Kakashi tried to remain standing on one arm for another ten minutes to hit his one hour mark. "Iruka spoke to me last night, after you had dinner. He told me exactly what your weaknesses were."

Kakashi grunted as he concentrated on trying to stay on his hand and not collapsing.

Nine more fucking minutes.

"Did he now?"

Gai nodded, glancing at the rising sun. "It's a lot than I expected. So I've taken to consideration what he mentioned. Oh, you'll need to make adjustments to your diet. Your elbow is shaking. It shouldn't be shaking. I'll hand your diet plan tomorrow."

Kakashi cursed inwardly and tried to steady his arm. Once the buzzer went off, Kakashi collapsed.

Fuck. If this is the start, then what's the bloody end?

XXX

With the added strain of training without chakra and later on the Sharingan, Kakashi couldn't walk straight for a week.

There were times where he valued his pride too much to give up. But with Gai's crazy training, he had to call it quits. Because the lack of the chakra's presence had a large impact on him, Kakashi found himself fearing heights. With nothing to give him any sort of leverage, his fear of heights became too evident. When Gai made him practice standing on a beam merely fifteen feet above the ground, Kakashi found himself hesitating and staring at the ground from the beam's stand. When he did fall from his first try, his legs started to shake and he felt his control starting to crumble.

Gai, thankfully, didn't comment or say anything. He merely looked off to one side when Kakashi looked hesitant and his hands shook.

Chakra - every ninja's strength. Also every ninja's weakness. Without it, we're almost nothing. Almost...

Kakashi was grateful for that; it was another reason he respected Gai so much. Gai wasn't the type to rub one's failure at their face. The Green Beast would wait patiently till the person realized their own will to get up again. He would guide them down the right path, but he'd never mention their failures. Gai was a very discrete and understanding person. Kakashi knew that well more than anyone else.

One evening, after two weeks of training, when Kakashi was in Iruka's house and they were practicing dance steps together, Kakashi simply crumpled. Iruka worried, but Kakashi couldn't see it in his face because he was starting to black out. Iruka merely helped him on his feet and led him to the couch to lie down.

Kakashi fell asleep immediately.

He's been in Iruka's house since then, unable to even move let alone summon the chakra to teleport back home. Iruka didn't complain or even said a word, since half the time, Kakashi was asleep on the futon Iruka set up next to the couch.

Kakashi was also as silent as a graveyard. Iruka would eat next to him handing him his food in small bowls so he can eat while they both watched some television.

"How are you feeling today, Kakashi-sensei?" Iruka asked.

It was already the eighth evening Kakashi spent under Iruka's roof. "It's difficult."

I'm complaining. I'm actually complaining about training!

"I know. I couldn't get back up on my feet for eighteen days." Iruka chuckled good naturedly. "We're just not used to training without chakra, that's why we crumble."

"I never really expected it. I thought I could handle it."

Iruka didn't stop eating or to even look at him. "Giving up so fast?"

Are you taking me lightly?

"I didn't say that."

Iruka gave a shrug and drank some of his drink. "You sounded like it."

Kakashi frowned, loosing his appetite. He was starting to get annoyed by Iruka's attitude. Was he always like this? To his students? To his peers? When he remained quiet, a look of anger towards Iruka in his eye, Iruka glanced up at him; Iruka said nothing. Kakashi kept glaring at him before he finally turned his attention to his food.

"Whatever." Kakashi grumbled before ripping his mask down and eating.

Iruka didn't look up but when Kakashi was literally stabbing the bowl of rice with his chopsticks, Kakashi felt Iruka's hand rest on his. "Calm down."

Oh. Fuck you.

"I am calm."

"No, you're not. Cover your face so I can look at you." Iruka said, taking the bowl away without looking at Kakashi's face.

Kakashi looked away from him. "It's nothing. Can I have the rice back?"

A glance at the corner of his eye told him that Iruka started to frown just a bit. "What is wrong?"

"I am tired."

Iruka glanced up at his bared face then, not reacting towards his pale smooth cheek, at the horrid scar running down his eye and stopping in the middle of his cheek. He did not react to his good looks - the high cheek bones, straight and slightly pointier nose, sharp chin and jaw line and finely shaped, serious looking eyebrows.

Iruka nodded at his statement and handed him his rice bowl and chopsticks. "Eat. Then rest."

That's what I'm fucking doing, aren't I? If I could move, I wouldn't even be in your house!

Kakashi didn't reply and ate in silence, movements slow and heavy. After they ate and Iruka cleared the dishes away, Kakashi felt his body start to sag. He was on his way to bathroom to wash his hands and to freshen up when his knees gave way. He knew it was the effect of using and training the Sharingan. Gai's training alone, he can handle. But to couple it with Sharingan training, Kakashi was starting to have second thoughts about his decision in training without chakra.

His hand slipped down the wall he was using as support. He felt Iruka catch him, the familiar scent of the fruity shampoo he was used invading his senses. Kakashi couldn't help but grab his shoulders to keep himself from falling completely.

"I am a bother."

Iruka shook his head. "I can understand. When I was in your shoes, Gai took care of me. But I can't be in your shoes because I do not possess the Sharingan. I can, however, be a friend and help you when you need it the most."

Kakashi looked at Iruka, noting that that the Chuunin was once again in those little shorts and loose t-shirt. From Iruka's hold, Kakashi could feel his firm body, the slight bumps of his bones due to his small frame. Kakashi found his face heating up. "I - thanks."

Iruka shook his head, smiling a very small and hesitant smile. "It's nothing. Come on, I'll help you to the bathroom."

Kakashi nodded and leaned against him.

For now, maybe I really do need Iruka.

A small glance at Iruka made him feel hesitant, unsure about his inner self.

But does he need me?

XXX

Kakashi briefly lost track of time when he got back on his feet. Tsunade had personally told him to completely lay off the missions to achieve the Sharingan technique for when his team is reformed again. It was the news that Naruto would return within a year that kept Kakashi focused; he knew that when Naruto came back, the issue of bringing Sasuke back and the dangers of Akatsuki - running in to Itachi - would reach it's peak.

Kakashi trained like he never did in his life, even when he was with the Fourth; he was still afraid of heights.

He still danced with Iruka, his control of silencing his steps while moving fast dance steps increased. This greatly helped his ability in stealth without resorting to chakra. It also helped him in learning about Iruka more. The more time he spent around Iruka, the more he learned about him. Kakashi was very aware of how his face heated up when they danced, of how he couldn't stop staring at Iruka's features - soft and round, delicate like a doll's - and admiring them.

Whether Iruka noticed or not, he didn't say.

It surprised Kakashi one day when Gai said that he was going to be sent away on a month long mission.

"Today is my last day that I can supervise you. Four months and you've improved more than I've ever expected. The only thing you have to get over now is your fears." Gai said, perfectly serious. A moment passed before he grinned, did the nice-guy pose and babbled a speech of brave men.

Kakashi knew that Gai was serious. "I'll continue. You do your mission."

"Iruka has agreed to supervise you."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "I don't need supervision. If it's the weight training, the balance and speed, I can handle them on my own."

"You said you wanted to gain perfect control of your body without using chakra. You can achieve it. It's your fears that just need to get out of the way." Gai said.

"And Iruka is going to help me how when you can't?" Kakashi asked, frowning.

"Iruka is going to go through extremes. I'm guessing that he'll use the techniques his mother used to get rid of his fears."

"You know them?" Kakashi's curiosity was peaked.

"I've seen only a small portion of it. I normally wouldn't go through such ways, but it works. And you've mentioned you have no time. Upping your physical condition is one thing. Your Sharingan is another. If Iruka can help you get rid of the barrier of physical capabilities, everything will be easy from then on."

Kakashi thought about it, and nodded. "Fine. When are you leaving?"

"In four hours. I have to go meet up with my team; here's your new diet plan." Gai handed him a scroll. "It's to quicken your metabolic rate. You've put on some muscle weight so far, so it's time to maintain it. I've also included a new training regimen you can do after Iruka is done with you."

Kakashi took the scroll, glanced at its contents and nodded. "Noted."

"Good luck. You can do this." Gai said, no trace of his crazy speech or humor in his expression.

"I know. I have to." They stared at each other before shaking hands; it was a rare display of friendship between them, when the times called for it. "Thanks."

"Any time." Gai grinned.

XXX

Kakashi showed up at his usual timing at dawn, the sky still dark and the village still silent. He could hear the roar of the waterfalls a good distance away from him. When a slight shuffling from the thicket sounded off, Kakashi turned to find Iruka coming out with a backpack and several rolls of rope.

"Morning. You ready?" Iruka asked, smiling. He was wearing casual clothing as opposed to his uniform or shinobi outfit.

"Yeah." Kakashi nodded, picking up his own backpack.

"Great. We're going to train just about four kilometers away from here. It's quiet there. No one will hear you." Iruka said and started walking westwards.

No one will hear me? What's that supposed to mean? Not like it's going to be abuse, right?

Kakashi blinked as he followed Iruka quietly.

Right? Right?

They stopped some ten minutes later where the canyon caused by construction of Konoha by the First lay before them. Kakashi noted that Iruka picked the part where the canyon runs deep. The smell of fresh water filled the air, since the waterfall was just a few kilometers down the canyon. Kakashi knew that there were sharp rocks at the bottom, along with murky waters with lots of amphibians. He did, however, take note of the stone bridge - jutsu made by the looks of it - that ran across either ends of the canyon.

"We'll train here." Iruka dropped his back pack against a rock and started unrolling the rope. "I will seal your chakra."

Kakashi eyed the rock-bridge, then the dark pits of the canyon. "Yeah? Sure thing. What exactly are we going to do?"

"If I told you, you'd freak out. So I won't tell you. You will have to trust me." Iruka replied and started making knots on the rope.

Didn't Gai say that Iruka was going to forcefully erase my fear? Exactly how does he plan to do that? Does he really think I'll run away? I've face too many things to start running away from training.

"I do trust you. I just don't trust you with my chakra sealed." Kakashi said, the words flying out of his mouth, annoyance winning over everything else.

Iruka paused in tying mid-knot and looked up at Kakashi. "I am the one finding time to help you. If this is how you feel, I will head home myself. I'm not the one at loss here."

Then why won't you tell me anything? Fuck!

Kakashi sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry. This is just not my style. Surprises, I mean."

"It's not mine either. But from what Gai said, this seems to be the only way." Iruka shrugged and continued tying the rope. "You might want to loose anything you have in your pockets. Remove all your weapons and gear. You may only keep one kunai."

One? Just one? What am I going to do with it? Stare at it?

Kakashi did as he was told and waited till Iruka was done. Iruka dropped the rolled rope in the middle of the narrow rock-bridge before heading back towards Kakashi.

"Seal?"

"Yes. Turn around." Iruka instructed, waiting till he was fully turned before forming the seals.

Kakashi could feel a tingle run through out his entire body, making him shiver as he finally felt slightly heavier than normal; the effect of having no chakra completely. "Now what?"

Iruka gestured to the rock bridge and Kakashi followed. Iruka didn't turn to look behind him when Kakashi hesitated in stepping on the rock bridge, his fear crawling up to his conscious mind as he forced himself to follow Iruka towards the middle. Kakashi could feel his heart beating faster.

"First of all, you will really, really have to trust me here. Am I clear?"

Kakashi was staring at the dark pits, skin starting to crawl with goosebumps. The familiar warm feel of his chakra at the back of his mind was lacking, making him feel like he was standing on needles from the height they were in. "Understood."

"Look at me." Iruka said, sighing. Kakashi lifted his gaze. "Make sure to land on your back, all right?

What the -

"What?"

Kakashi didn't have the time to even register what happened. Next thing he knew, he was staring wide eyed at Iruka, who was getting farther away from him. He could see Iruka's eyes staring at him coldly, as he started to fall down, the bridge way out of reach, completely powerless.

Completely human.

Kakashi stopped breathing and before he knew it, he was screaming with terror as he started to fall deep in to the darkness of the canyon.

Oh god! I'm going to die! I'm going to die!

Instincts made him channel chakra, but when nothing came, Kakashi found himself facing downwards, still dropping at a fast speed with nothing to hold on to, the cry becoming a forced and strangled silent whimper. He remembered his one and only kunai, but he was smack in the middle of the canyon, the walls too far apart to grab on to.

Oh god! Oh god! Oh god, help me! Help me! Help me! Fuck! Fuck! Iruka! Iruka!

Kakashi's eyed widened, realization dawning in his mind.

This is training. Iruka wouldn't kill me. He wouldn't! I know he won't! Never would! Land on my back. Land on my back. Land on my back on fucking what? What the hell do I land on? Rocks? Alligators? Fuck!

Kakashi shut his eyes in his panic, managing to turn his body during the fall. He kept falling. He didn't breathe, hoping against all hopes that he wasn't going to be amphibian food, until he felt something connect with his back and suddenly he was being bounced back up, only to be land back down against the surface on his side before bouncing again and rolling towards the middle.

Kakashi didn't move. He wasn't falling anymore but his heart was still beating too fast to be normal, panic evident in his eye and tremors coursing through his entire body. It was a minute later did he move, realizing that he was on a large stretch of sturdy and secure net, several points of the net attached on the rocky walls of the canyon. He stared down and found that the canyon still ran deep, even from the height he was pushed from.

He swallowed thickly, trembling all over, helpless and weak. He remained that way, till the sun started to vanish from the sky. His heart didn't slow down from his fear. Without his chakra as leverage, Kakashi felt like a child dangling from a thread. He took note that the net was large and thick with a rubbery feel. He was starting to feel dizzy from being in panic for too long.

He found rope falling from the sky, swinging from drop till it remained still. He couldn't move from his fallen position, couldn't even think of moving let alone realize that the rope was waiting for him. When the sky started to turn a darker purple, Kakashi forced himself to grab the rope. The sound of rocks rolling down from the points where the net was secured against the walls made him hurry.

Shaking hands grabbed the rope. Summoning strength that Gai forced in to his body from all his training, Kakashi made his way up. Several times, he slipped and several times he whimpered and remained motionless as he swung back and forth before his desire to feel solid ground returned and he started climbing again. Without his chakra, he was slow; even slower with his fear choking him. By the time he reached the top and could see the trees again, he found a hand outstretched from above. He grabbed the tanned hand and was pulled up.

Kakashi couldn't see anything around him. Everything was a blur for him as he was slowly lead away from the rock-bridge and towards a more solid open space. Kakashi felt his knees buckle under him as he was slowly lowered to the ground. He looked up to stare at Iruka, who was merely looking right back at him.

"Y-You son of a bitch!" Kakashi gritted out, voice cracking, body trembling.

Iruka didn't react outwardly. "It was necessary."

"No! That was stupid! That was complete insanity!" Kakashi was going in to hysteria, visible eye wide. "What - you - you! Fuck you!"

Iruka said nothing. "We are shinobi. We rely on chakra more than we should. Without it, we are nothing. We die in the field without chakra. Soldier pills in large amounts is suicide, that is why we are told not use it unless in an emergency; its damage comes later, proportional to the amount we take in, twice as deadly. We have the power, the energy and ability to move mountains, to create villages, to destroy and restore nature." Kakashi brought a hand up to his face, shoulders trembling. "We can control nature if we wanted to, but no matter how much we train, nature possesses a limitless power to always throw us off our balance."

"Damn you." Kakashi choked out, trying to breathe properly in his panic. "Damn you."

To have reduced me to something like this! This sniveling part of me that I've tried hard to kill since - since - I hate you! Burn in hell!

"We have no limits, Kakashi-sensei. What give us limits are our fears. If we can get rid of that fear, then we can be stronger. Not as shinobis, but as a person." Iruka reached out and touched Kakashi's shaking shoulder. "It's okay. Let it out."

Kakashi trembled and sank his head lower, forehead touching Iruka's knees as he tried to calm down from his traumatic fall. He didn't know how long he remained in that position with Iruka rubbing circles in his back and arm, but he was glad that Iruka didn't leave him.

XXX

"We're not done." Iruka said, once most of the tremors wracking subsided.

Kakashi looked up at him, face as pale as a ghost. "O-Okay."

"Come on. We're going to spar. Attempt to at least."

Kakashi blinked, momentarily forgetting his fear at the mention of the activity. "Right."

Iruka nodded and started walking towards the rock-bridge, tying another long rope several feet away from the already dangling one. He started pulling the ropes up. "Oh, just so you know, the net isn't sturdy anymore. So if you fall, I won't be able to catch you. I've sealed my chakra."

Kakashi stared at him wide eyed, the tremors returning to his body. "W-What?"

"You have to be able to adapt to the situation, only without chakra." Iruka threw both the securely knotted ropes over his shoulder. "Come here, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi shook his head. "No. Not unless you tell me what's going on."

Iruka didn't look pleased. "If I did that, then it wouldn't work. Come here or I'll drag you here myself."

Kakashi wanted to punch Iruka's face in, beat him to the ground for making him feel utterly useless and vulnerable. "Like fuck."

Iruka sighed and dropped one of the ropes down. "Kakashi-sensei, I'm not going to let you fall. I'm not going to let go of you. I'm not going to push you. Understood? Please don't make me drag you." Kakashi hesitated for several minutes before taking Iruka's words to heart and approaching the middle of the rock bridge. "Your fear is like an infected wound only there's no medication around. The only way is to do primitive treatment. I'm going to cut you and let the infection bleed out. Understood?"

Kakashi swallowed thickly. "Yeah."

Iruka nodded. "Okay."

Kakashi was going to turn to ask Iruka exactly how they were going to spar when he found himself plummeting down the canyon, face down. He shut his eyes, panic in his throat once more as he forcefully swallowed the scream bubbling in his throat. He was falling fast then he his fall jolted to a sudden stop, breath hitching in his throat. He was swinging back and forth instead, an arm around his middle. Kakashi looked up and found Iruka smiling down at him.

"Y-You lying son of -"

"Didn't I say I wouldn't let go of you?" Iruka said, completely silencing Kakashi. "I'm not as heartless as my mother when she trained me. I shouldn't baby you, or even speak reassuring words."

Then why do you do that? Why do you bother?

"Then -"

"But I promised, didn't I? I wouldn't let go of you?"

Kakashi felt himself being pulled up; he moved his hands to grab on to the rope while holding on to Iruka as well. "I thought you -"

"I don't want you dead, Kakashi-sensei. I want you alive and fearless to lead your team again. And I am going to beat that fear out of you." Iruka said, still holding Kakashi against him as they swung back and forth. Kakashi nodded on to Iruka's shoulder, glad that he didn't have to land on the net. "You know something, Kakashi-sensei?" Kakashi mumbled a 'what?' in to the fabric of Iruka's shirt. "Swinging like this, if you look at the sky, it's beautiful." Kakashi blinked and looked at Iruka, then at the sky. There were thousands of stars glowing brightly in the velvet sky, twinkling like diamonds. The way they twinkled, it reminded Kakashi of something he liked; something he couldn't really remember at the moment. "The morning sky is too." Iruka said quietly, a small smile dancing on his lips as a look of realization dawned in to Kakashi's eye.

Black and white. Night and day. Up... and down. Two opposites. One cannot exist without the other. If there is white, there is always black. There is always night after the day. There is always up when down. It's law. It's balance.

The tremors stopped.

Oh. I get it now...

TBC

Notes and acknowledgements:

Again, Kaleido Star played a huge role in inspiring this chapter. For the sakes of no spoilers, to those who have seen the anime, you guys will know what I'm talking about.

Gai and Kakashi are best friends and rivals. Gai, despite his speeches, must have a reason for acting the way he does. Much like Kakashi acts late along with his pitiful excuses.

Here, you will notice that Kakashi is OOC. As much as I didn't want to write him in such a manner, I needed to. Kakashi isn't much of a screamer or the type to fear heights. But everyone has their own fears. Iruka, himself has his own fears which will be mentioned later. If Tsunade can fear blood, then I don't see why Kakashi can't fear heights. Again, Kakashi seemed like the type who relied much on chakra. When dropping from a high point, taijutsu moves can't really help. Not when he's too far off the walls.

Also, I was watching Yukihime Ninpochou Dattebayo. There's a part in the movie where Kakashi mentions that taijutsu is also important for a ninja etc. and was dropping from a high point but with an enemy in his grip. My guess, he used Nagare (was that his name?) as his landing cushion, effectively killing/stopping him from havoc. Again, while Kakashi may have dropped then, he still had some chakra left. Not much, but it's there, enough to cushion his fall somehow. And he had a body.

Here, he had nothing.

In my opinion, solider pills are deadly. For a pill to push energy in one's body would mean stimulating body cells to function faster and at a rapid rate. This is usually not good, because the damage comes later. Twice as deadly of course. The body pays later.

Also, I always thought that Kakashi was a childish person. Hence, his childishness above.

So yeah, I think I've explained much. This chapter is not something I like but it's needed.