February 28th 2022

Chapter 59
Our Reach Toward Possibilities

When Maya picked Nika up on Monday morning, she noticed right away that the girl seemed lost in thought. She would gladly leave her be, whatever she was thinking about, but at the same time, considering how close she was to her due date, she had to wonder… She waited until they reached the parking lot, where she quietly asked Ella if she might load up the cart and take the boxes on to class. She didn't need to work too hard to make her purpose understood. Ella agreed and went off to do it while Maya turned to look into the backseat. Nika was about to climb out, but she asked her to wait. Once Ella had closed the back and started toward the building, Maya asked Nika if everything was alright.

"Yeah…" Nika quietly replied, then, "Sort of… I don't know…" she sighed.

"What's up?" Maya asked.

"Madeline's back. She arrived on Saturday, that way she can be here when I… when he…" Nika looked down to her belly.

"Right…" Maya slowly nodded, waiting to see what she might have to say on it. She was quiet for several seconds. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?" Nika shook her head. "Okay, then what's the matter?" she kindly asked.

"Madeline wants to know what I want to do when the baby comes, if there's anything she should do or bring, to make me more comfortable, and… She asked me what I wanted to do after he's born, if I wanted to see him, to hold him… She wants me to do whatever I need to do, she's being really nice about it, I just… I'm not sure what to say… or do, I… I keep going over the options, and no matter what it is, it all still feels like it'll be wrong."

"Okay, talk to me about it," Maya offered. Nika looked at her, hesitated.

"I-I… I don't want to have regrets. Either I'll do it and it'll make everything so much harder, or I don't do it, and then I've missed my shot and I won't get it back." She'd been doing everything right, showing great maturity all the way, but just now she couldn't help but be who she was, which was a sixteen-year-old girl.

"I'm just making a guess here, but a lot of the time, getting stuck on a choice like that… You know what you want to do. If it came right down to it, you could make the choice, no problem. Except… Maybe you're just so scared to admit it, so you try and convince yourself to do the safe thing instead, only that also means talking yourself out of the thing you want, so it just turns into a lot of turning and turning, running in circles, until it feels so big that it gets impossible," Maya slowly explained, illustrating the point with gestures of her fingers. Nika's face stopped trying to hide the fear.

"What if I can't let him go?" she asked, eyes brimming with tears.

"Just…" Maya started, then sighed. She remembered very well the feeling of seeing her daughters for the first time the day they were all born, remembered holding them for the first time. The difference here is, even before I put them down again, I knew it wouldn't be the one and only time. "I could maybe tell you to remind yourself that you're doing something so wonderful for him and, as hard as it'll be in the moment, you'll get through it, and… it could be true. But then… what I really feel is… No amount of reassurance is going to make it easier when the moment comes. It's going to be rough, and it will hurt," she pressed her hand to her heart. "I guess the better advice might be to just… admit it to yourself and not try and look for a fix that can't exist. And remember that you won't be alone."

When they finally left the minivan and started for the school, Nika was quiet all the way to the art room, where the quiz team would be waiting for their morning meet up. She was trying to sort out… whatever must have been going through her mind now, after their talk outside, even as she had to be trying to pull herself together before getting to meet her teammates. Luckily for her, when they reached the room, there was something to pull focus from anyone potentially noticing that there was anything on her mind. It was Monday, and as of today, Aliana Moore was a student at their school. She'd come in with Rosemary, naturally, and her roommate/host couldn't well leave her on her own in a brand new place like this, so she'd brought her to the meet-up.

Maya asked about how things had been going so far, the visitor's first weekend in Austin, first days living at the Adewumi house… Going off of the way both Aliana and Rosemary spoke, it had all gone very well. They enjoyed living together, and Rosemary's parents were both so welcoming, very similar to their daughter in the way she interacted with others. That afternoon, after school, they would be headed off to Sullivan Stables, just as Patrick and the Davis twins would go. They'd given everyone the weekend to settle in, but with the start of the new week, they wanted to talk over how it would all work out with the two XCs, their time at the ranch, at school, and on their own…

When it came time for everyone to go off to their first period classes, Maya watched everyone except Ella and Lea go, her eyes on Nika especially. She'd be alright, she had to trust that much. She'd have her friends there with her and, knowing the kind of girls Maggie and Lara were, it was about all the reassurance she would need for now.

"Is she alright?" Lea asked. Maya turned back to look at her. Ella knew there had been a conversation, of course, but she hadn't been privy to it. Either way, she stayed quiet. Regardless of their connection, if she hadn't been included, she wasn't going to pry.

"Wouldn't even know how to answer that question even if I was sure that I could," Maya sighed.

"Okay," Lea just nodded, understanding. Maya was certain that, if she wished to turn to her teammates for more advice, she'd find them all ready and willing.

"So…" Maya addressed her cousin-in-law/student, deciding to lead them down a happier path. "Any update on the college thing?" It would surprise absolutely no one who had known Lea Sullivan-Reyes for all of a day that she had her heart set on New York, regardless of the program, because it would bring her 'close to the action,' but nothing had been set in stone as of yet.

"I don't know," Lea gave an exasperated sigh, tipping her head back. "It's not like I wouldn't have missed my dads and my sisters anyway, but then there's Leyton, and he's still so little…"

"Yeah, been there," Maya nodded sympathetically even as the thought of the toddler made her smile. If Michael and Keith thought they'd had everything figured out after raising their three daughters, the arrival of their son had felt like a hard reset.

"And if I go, then I'll have to make new friends…" Lea added, locking her arms around Ella's shoulders, catching her by surprise before breaking into laughter.

"Too much work," she insisted, and Lea nodded firmly.

"I'll think of something," she promised, still holding to her best friend. "And I can end up on Broadway from anywhere," she added with rising confidence.

"Yeah, you can," Maya agreed and grinned.

"Yeah, and anyway, Taylor's already going away, so I couldn't leave her all alone," Lea went on. Ella barely showed any reaction at this, though she definitely had plenty on her mind about this decision, which was brand new to her mother.

"He is?"

"Indiana," Ella confirmed.

"Wow… Okay…" Maya hummed as she took this in. She knew he'd want to keep playing basketball, and plenty of people had been just as eager for him to keep playing, too, but it was still something to finally hear that the choice had been made. This was not going to be a car trip away situation. This would be like when she and the others had been at school in Houston while several of their friends were either in New York or Boston… "That's great… Yeah?" Both girls nodded, but neither looked to be exactly on the same level with their response.

The day finally got started. First period with the seniors had more college talk being flung from one corner to the other. To Maya, it was just like clockwork, one of those things she came to expect every year. Things were a bit more relaxed with the sophomores for most of the period, until a paint spill forced her to reassess. Lunch brought the knitting club into her classroom, and then it was on with the freshmen, returning Nika into her midst. She looked a lot less perturbed than she'd done on the ride over. Whether this meant that she'd figured everything out by now, Maya doubted it. But so long as she was doing alright, it was all that truly mattered.

In her extended afternoon breaks, as spring had really gotten to settle in more, she'd been treated more than once to the 'grandparents of the day' taking the little girls on an outing that lined up perfectly with the art teacher's open periods between freshmen and juniors. They might go for a stroll together, or they'd just sit on a bench together, where Maya would get to spend precious minutes with her little daughters and her granddaughter. It really meant a lot to her when they'd do it, as they did today, and when it'd be over then she'd be able to head back in and finish her day with the juniors.

"Well? How's today been?" Maya asked with a smile as Rosemary and Aliana came along. The girls turned to one another, a silent conversation passing in their eyes. "Something happen?" Maya had to guess.

"Not exactly," Aliana tried to say.

"Some of the boys were being a little…" Rosemary followed, though she stalled rather than finish her sentence. Maya didn't need to hear it to get the picture.

"Got it," she slowly nodded, then, to the visitor, "Sorry."

"It's really no different than back home," Aliana shrugged. That wasn't exactly a good thing to consider either, but it was what it was, wasn't it? "Classes were okay though. I was kind of worried I wouldn't be able to follow because we weren't studying the same things or we wouldn't be in the same place, but it was fine."

"Good," Maya smiled. "Well, go on ahead and get settled. I left something for you at Rosemary's station." She watched them go, and the girls came upon the brand new diary, complete with the XC's name on the spine. As they waited for the bell to sound, Rosemary happily explained what the sketchbook was for. Aliana looked like she was eager to get started. Already, she was inspecting the blank black cover, spinning the gold pen on the tabletop, seeking an idea.

It was the end of the day, so Aliana would have had plenty of time to introduce herself before now. Still, she was asked to give a brief introduction, if for no one's benefit but her teacher's. A lot of it she had already heard about before she'd arrived, and then on Friday afternoon when they'd first met, but as they were in art class, Maya was very happy to discover that Aliana had been painting most of her life. Her grandfather had gained some notoriety that way since back when he was in his twenties, and he'd always been her favorite, so he'd taught her everything she knew. She did watercolors, mostly landscapes, but she had been trying her hand at portraits lately. Maya encouraged her to dedicate her diary to that study, and Aliana smiled. She would do just that.

TO BE CONTINUED


See you tomorrow! - mooners