March 9th 2022
Chapter 68
Our Memories of Morning
There was something very particular about waking up in the quiet of early morning to find stillness, despite knowing just how many people were present, spread out here and there… Sure, where the Friars were concerned, with a standard occupancy of eight, that might have felt like a lot already, but this was a Sleepster morning, with guests above, around, and below, which meant more than twice that usual number. But Lucas woke, and there was the stillness, although…
"How long have you been awake?" he quietly asked, his arm slowly tightening his hold around his little spoon and drawing her nearer. She responded in draping her arm over his, taking hold of his hand at her waist.
"Not long, few minutes," Maya replied. He said nothing, which in itself was a prompt for her to continue. "I was awake a while before, but I went back to sleep, not sure when exactly," she finally admitted. He kissed her shoulder. "It's not even the day he died that I keep remembering, it's that moment, in Houston, when I got the call to go out there because he didn't have much time, to say goodbye…"
He remembered, too. Girls' night, guys' night… But then the girls had returned, and he'd seen her, so distraught… The thing he couldn't get out of his head was after Kermit had died. It was the evening, back at the Hart house, when they'd been seeing to her siblings, and her walls had come crumbling down, all her emotions rushing out so mercilessly that she looked so beyond herself. She'd lost her father, and it had finally hit her…
"I know we always say 'oh, it seems like just yesterday,' or 'I can't believe that was all those years ago,' but…" Maya told him as she turned in his arms until she rested on her back. "That's not exactly it, huh? It's more like… being here and there at the same time. It's like, all those moments, you've left a little part of you there. You keep going, but the part stays. And then you look back, and you feel the world like you're taking it in as that little piece, back where you left it but looking out to the rest of you…" She paused. "That made more sense in my head," she reflected, frowning.
"I get what you mean," Lucas promised with a smile. His arm remained over her waist, his hand having come to rest just at her hip, under the hem of her shirt, so that his thumb grazed lightly at her side. She seemed to be relaxed by it, even as his words made her smile back.
"You would be the one to see through my weird ideas."
"Expert level," he declared, and she agreed with a nod. She turned her head to him, her eyes drawing him to lean in with her, meet her in a kiss both tender and lingering. This was a strange morning for everyone in this house, and they'd all have their way to cope. For the two of them here, the way was just to be close to one another, to exist in this awareness of security, and love.
The baby monitor soon allowed them to discover that two if not all three of the girls across the hall were awake, and Lucas smiled before telling Maya to wait where she was. He got out of bed and headed into the nursery, there to find three little faces awake and staring back at him. They had all flopped over in their own cribs, heads up, and now here was their dad! The smiles on all their faces were just what he'd hoped to find, and he worked to gather them all into his arms. It wasn't nearly as easy as when they'd been newborns, but the fact that they were more solid now did help to ensure that he could snatch up one, and two, and keep those in one arm long enough to reach and collect the third. Once he had them in that massive hug, he could bring them back to their mother.
"Look what I found," he smirked as Maya sat up, ready to help him unload the triplets on to the bed with them. Oh, how happy they were to see their mother, too.
"Morning, butts…" Maya greeted them. Lucas still had Lucy in his lap, but Kacey and Remy were on the mattress, just far enough that they could be compelled to try and move closer to their mother. They could definitely do that, so they did, and they were rewarded with good little kisses as Maya bent over them. Their combined laughter probably woke a few people, but no one was about to complain. "How about you, bun-bun? You want to come and say hi?" Maya looked to her lastborn girl. Lucy looked at her, then up to her father…
"I don't think she wants to go anywhere just yet, do you? Huh?" Lucas asked, bowing his head to kiss the top of Lucy's. It made her squeal and laugh. "See?"
"Daddy's girl," Maya squinted with a smile. Lucas gave a 'rebuttal,' indicating the other two. "I know, I know, them, too, but right now I've got them, so…" she raised her chin at him. He bit back a laugh and concentrated on Lucy, turning her around to face him, bringing her closer so she could see him without craning her neck. He thought of those videos from the night before, where they'd seen baby Maya at this age… She really did look so much like her, the most of all their biological daughters.
The floors weren't so loud as to announce anyone's approach, though it did creak just enough that especially at a quiet time like this they would recognize the small steps creeping up the hall and nearer to their room. When they turned their heads toward the door, there was Marianne, in full bed hair glory.
"Morning, pumpkin," Lucas smiled as she marched up to the bed, rubbing at still sleepy eyes. He helped her climb on to the bed and, once she was there, she burrowed at his side, so he kept his arm around her so she wouldn't slide off the edge and fall to the floor. "Did we wake you?" he asked. She made a noise like 'I don't know.' "Did you have a bad dream?" She didn't.
"Wanna see the Grandpa movie again," she declared. Lucas and Maya exchanged a look. They could have corrected her and pointed out that they were just a series of small videos, recorded over several years, but it didn't seem important.
"Well, it's a little early for that…" Maya pointed out. "A lot of the people are still sleeping right now. Even if they weren't, they might not want to watch all of those again so soon, but later on, if you want to, you can watch them as often as you'd like." Wyatt had made sure to transfer her a copy of all those videos he'd had that she'd never seen, so she could see them again herself.
"How come?" Marianne asked.
"How come they don't want to watch them now?" Maya asked back, to make sure it was what she meant. Marianne nodded. "Well…" she sighed. "You remember what we told you, about why we were having this Sleepster like this?"
"For Grandpa Kermit," Marianne replied. "To think about him, to… remember."
"That's right," Lucas nodded.
"Because… because he's where Granny Lizzie is," Marianne continued. "And Lambert."
"That's exactly where he is," Maya breathed, looking to Kacey and Remy, propped up in her arms. "And he's been there for a lot of years, ten of them. That's a big, important number, and that's why we're together. And we're happy that we are, but also… Thinking about him, missing him, it means that we're having a lot of different emotions at the same time. The… movie… makes us all feel a lot, and if we watch it too many times, it's almost too much, you see?"
"Yeah," Marianne replied, though with a thought playing in her eyes that her parents understood. She didn't feel like that, not exactly.
"You never got to meet him, so it's normal that you don't feel it the same way," Lucas told her. Marianne looked at him. "It doesn't mean you don't love him. I think you do, don't you?"
"I like when he sings, and he has the guitar," Marianne told him, which was as good as a yes. "He looks like Uncle Sammy… and Uncle Wyatt… And like Pawpaw."
"Yeah, he did," Maya chuckled. It always went back to that, didn't it? No one could help but note it, whenever they saw them in the same place.
"Mommy?" Marianne turned to look at Maya.
"Yeah?"
"He's your daddy, but… Grandpa is your daddy, too. And Nana is your mommy, and, and…" she trailed off, but they got what she was going for. She was realizing just how many parents her mother had, between her birth parents, and her adopted stepfather, and her stepmother and her second husband…
"That… That is a long story, and I know you love stories, but we're not there yet exactly," Maya explained, using vocabulary she rightly hoped her daughter would associate with those of her books, on her shelves, that were hers but couldn't be read until she was older. She was on the whole very understanding of the concept, so it could be enough to make her grasp this one, too. "There's the short version though… Grandpa Kermit and Nana Katy were together, and they had me. Then they weren't together anymore, and Nana met Grandpa Shawn, and they had Nellie, and Gracie, and MJ, and Haley, and he became my father, too. And then Grandpa Kermit and Granny Abby had Sam, and Cara, and Eliza, and Wyatt, and she became my mother, too. Then after Grandpa Kermit passed on, Granny Abby met Grandpa James. He already had Teddy and Emma, but together they had Maisie. And he became my father, too. So, yeah… three fathers, two mothers… and a whole lot of brothers and sisters," she smirked.
"That's a lot," Marianne decided, looking over to her father now like she was considering his lineup. He only had the two, one mother, one father… just like her. "Giulia and her brothers, they have two mommies and two daddies," she now stated, turning to her mother. She looked satisfied, like she'd found evidence of another big, special family like hers.
"That's a little different," Maya pointed out, though she smiled.
"I know," Marianne went on. "Mommies in one house, Daddies in the other house. Like Uncle Mike and Uncle Keith." She left her father's side now, more awake than before, and as Remy looked to want her, Maya held her over until Marianne was able to grab her. She could pick her up this way now, which she loved to do whenever she got the chance.
Lucas and Maya exchanged a look, like they'd both been left to consider something at the same time. It was only natural for their daughter to have questions, with this gathering of theirs, but now her questions… Was she concerned that something could happen? Either that her parents would end up in different houses, and she'd have a second mommy and daddy and brand new siblings, like her mother did… or that her mother or father could end up passing on, just like her Grandpa Kermit did… As much as they'd always seen her as someone extraordinarily empathic, and aware of her surroundings, sometimes she was just this, just a four-year-old girl, figuring things out as she went along, and grew… And what could they actually tell her? That she had nothing to worry about? As to the idea of any separation, well, they were confident enough that this was unlikely, but as to the other part… They couldn't promise her that in good faith, could they?
For now, all they could do was allow the thought to leave her, which could happen, if given the chance. She was playing with her baby sisters now, and soon it would be time for breakfast with the rest of the family. Hopefully, the thought wouldn't linger. It was nothing she should have to worry about.
"Wanna see if she'll crawl?" Lucas suggested, indicating Remy. "I think she's really getting close now. You've been so good at helping her." Marianne brightened. Challenge accepted.
TO BE CONTINUED
See you tomorrow! - mooners
