Author's note- I hope you guys liked chapter 3, it was kind of an unplanned thing, but i think it turned out ok.

Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight or any Trapt songs, or Helena by My Chemical Romance, or Fall Out Boy's A Little Less 16 Candles a Little More Touch Me . Wish I did, but sadly I don't.

Chapter 4- Third Day, Wednesday

Yesterday had been a very bad day... I was expecting nightmares, but they were just flashbacks... They were of that night when I was at Port Angeles with Jessica and Angela. I had looked for a book store, but found trouble... And Edward saved me, then took me out to dinner and the waitress had stared at him and flirted with him. And then when me and Jessica went to go see a movie, and I left so many times because there were too many love scenes. Then when we were going to eat and I thought I saw the guys who Edward saved me from, in a bar. And that was when I had first heard Edward's voice in months. Then, I was on a motorcyle, hearing Edward tell me to stop, and that I was breaking my promise. And then I was with Jacob, Edward's voice was telling me to clam him down. Then, I was at the cliff about ready to jump, when I heard Edward's voice. I jumped, and I landed in Italy, on top of Edward. He thought he were dead... then... the nightmare did start. I was wondering in the woods, screaming Edward's name. I couldn't find him. I screamed it more and louder. Then, I felt something push me and I was off the cliff again... I kept being pushed...

"Bella! Bella, are you ok?" I heard Edward's voice, as if it were very distant. I felt Edward's cold lips against mine... like it was one last time... I screamed Edward's name again, this time I shot up from under the covers. I saw Edward sitting up next to me. He looked very worried. "Are you ok?" He asked again. I started shaking. Edward stared at me with his still topaz eyes.

"Bella?" I saw Alice run in. "I heard you screaming! Are you ok? Do you want breakfest now?" I looked over at her. She looked concerned.

I shook my head. "I'm not hungry...Thank you Alice..." Alice looked a bit more relaxed, she smiled at me and left.

I started to lay back down, but Edward held his hand on my back so I was unable to. I looked over at him. He looked scared, worried, angry...I started crying. Edward held me against his chest.

"What happened?" He asked. I started crying even harder. But Edward didn't loose his patience, he waited for me to answer. Finally, I was able to say something to him.

"Edward..."

"Yes, I'm here..."

"Don't ever leave my side again, I can't take that anymore...I kept hearing your voice, I kept getting pushed off the cliff...I got lost in the woods again! Edward, I love you too much for you to leave me! It hurts..." I looked up at him to see his reaction.

"There's a song I kept playing over and over again. It made me feel worse about leaving you, but I knew that's what I deserved. Wanna listen?" I nodded, at least he was a bit stronger than me, I just broke all my CDs.

Edward put a CD in. It was a rock song.

Do we know how to get the message across

We turn the lights off to find a way out

No time to get through to grasp what was lost

Don't turn the lights off and leave me in the dark

Hey, I'm pleading, my soul is bleeding

I don't want to be left alone, not when I'm right next to you

What are you thinking, it's so misleading

Is it not for me to know, I think it's just hard for you to show

We never spoke in the words that we want

We turn the lights off to find a way out

We never chosen to keep what we've got

Don't turn the lights off and leave me in the dark

Hey, I'm pleading, my soul is bleeding

I don't want to be left alone, not when I'm right next to you

What are you thinking, it's so misleading

Is it not for me to know, I think it's just hard for you to show

Hard for you to show

It's so hard for you to show

Why is it hard for you to show

I thought it would be nice to lie down and close my eyes

It never occured to me that I am already sleep

Don't really want to, don't really want to

Don't really to be alone tonight

Hey, I'm pleading, my soul is bleeding

I don't want to be left alone, not when I'm right next to you

What are you thinking, it's so misleading

I don't want to be left alone

I don't want to be left alone

I don't want to be left alone

No one wants to be left alone

The song ended, and I knew if Edward could cry, he would right now. I think it was my turn to make him feel better.

"Hey. It's ok." I held his head in my arms. He started rubbing my back. I ran my fingers through his bronze hair. I started laughing. He looked up at me. "Maybe it's right. Your'e not meant to know what I'm thinking. You think?" He smiled.

"Maybe, but it doesn't hurt to ask, does it?"

"I guess so..."

"So..." Edward said. He put me in his lap. "Are you curious about last night?"

I considered his question. A part of me wanted to know how this all went, but nother part, didn't want to hear. I tried figuring out wich part was the better half. "Ok." I answered.

"Well, when I read the note I went over to show it to Emmett and Jasper. I gave the note to Alice and told her and Rosalie to go to sit with you. I went to go talk to Simon and explain evrything to him, while Emmett and Jasper went to go get Brian. They brought Brian back tied up. When I saw him I lost some of my control and punched him, not hard to make him bleed, but still hard. Simon grabbed my arms and told me to calm down. In my mind I was blaming myslef for what happened. If I had just read his mind, then this would've been avoided.

"Once I had calmed down, Simon went to your table to explain and appologize. Me, Emmett, Jasper, and Brian were left alone. I decided to read his mind... His was so sick. I didn't tell anyone what he was thinking. But I still blame myself for this happening to you. If I had known he was going to do this, then we could've left before the food even came. Do you forgive me?"

I stared at him. Not forgive him? He must've been kidding. I smiled at him. He didn't smile back at me. Even thought his eyes were still topaz, they looked dark, evil, angry.

"Edward, it's not your fault th-"

"Yes it is! I was to distracted to even pay attention to the mind of the guy who was hitting on you or at least trying any way."

I sighed. Why did he beat himself up for this. I wanted to talk to Emmett. But I knew that Edward wasn't going to let me talk to him alone, but it didn't hurt to try.

"I'm...going to talk with Emmett... Stay here, I'll be right back." Surprisingly when I got up, Edward didn't stop me. I walked out the room, and he was still sitting on the bed.

"Emmett?" I yelled, once I was out my room and had the door closed.

"In here." He called, from his room. I walked in, he was sitting on his bed with Rosalie. Rosalie smiled at me sheepishly.

"Can... I, umm, talk to Emmett alone, please." I asked Rosalie.

"Yeah." She walked out. I saw her walk up the stairs to the kitchen.

"You can close the door." Emmett said. I closed it, but I knew it wouldn't matter Edward was listenig in through Emmett's mind. "So, what's up?"

"Edward thinks it's his fault that-"

"The perv flirted with you, sexually harrassed you, could've raped you-"

"Yes." I didn't really want him reminding of all those things. "He won't listen to me. No matter what I say, he interrupts me and starts appologizing."

"It's just the way he is." I looked at him confused. He sighed. "Sit down." He pointed on the bed across from him. I did as I was told. "Edward loves you. So of course he's going to blame himself. Even if it wasn't his fault he would still beat himself up for it. But since it is partially his fault, it's affecting him even more. Edward is just a pretty sensitive guy... You understand?"

I nodded. I was glad Emmett was always around, he's like my big brother I've always wanted. He smiled.

"Go take a nap, you look exhausted, I heard you screaming..." I wondered how I could've been exhausted. I looked at the clock by his bed... 4 o'clock in the morning.

"Right... Thank you Emmett." He gave me a friendly hug and let me go. I thanked him and went back into my room. Edward was still sitting on the bed, the same position he was when I left. When I walked in he looked up at me. I went over to sit next to him.

"He is right you know..."

"Edward..." I took a long pause. What I had to say was not necessary. It wouldn't matter how many times I said that it wasn't his fault, he would still beat himself up. "I love you."

"I know you do... I love you, too. Go to sleep, Emmett is right again." He chuckled. "Wow, twice in one morning, that's very rare."

I laughed with Edward. I layed down and pulled the covers over me. Edward got under too and put his arm around me. I was asleep in a matter of seconds.

What felt like 5 minutes later, I heard Alice's voice waking me up. I opened my eyes, Alice was standing next to me. Edward still had his arm around me, his head on my shoulder. His eyes were closed. I started to shiver, I was freezing. Edward opened his eyes, I knew he wasn't sleep, well beacuse for one thing he can't, and another he wouldn't dare leave himself vulnerable, while I was vulnerable, wich is always...

"Hey, you guys. Bella, you awake?" Alice said. I rubbed my eyes.

"Yea... I guess so..." I yawned.

"What's up...?" Edward asked.

"Well... We were talking about it and we don't think we should go out to eat at the buffet. It's going to be crowded, so alot of guys'll be there. We think it would be safer staying here."

I was a little disappointed. I had wanted to go. But they were right, it was safer this way. My stomach started growling, I guess I was hungry.

Alice giggled. "Hungry Bella? We'll make you some dinner." Alice left to the kitchen in a blink of an eye.

"What time is it..." I looked over at the clock. 5 o'clock in the evenig. I was asleep for 13 hours! I sat up, streched my arms and yawned. When I had my arms up, Edward started tickling me. I started laughing.

"Edward...hahaha...Stop...hahaha...it please...hahaha..." He stopped and got up. He went by the window...it was raining!

"WHAT? Its raining?" Edward looked over at me.

"I guess you get enough of the rain..." He said. I nodded. The rain was pounding against the window. I got out of the bed and stood next to Edward. He put his arm around me and slid the door open and walked outside. We stood out there for a few minutes. Edward went inside. He left me for a minute (I was about to hypervinilate) and he came back. I heard music coming from the room. I recognized the song as Helena by My Chemical Romance. I loved this song, but I haven't heard it since Edward left. I looked over at Edward and he was moving his lips, singing to the words.

"This reminds me of the night I left you..."

"I thought you weren't going to talk about this." I started crying. This song made me so sad... I was happy to have Edward with me, but whenever I heard a song that reminded me of the night he left me, then I couldn't take it. I was starting to consider marrying him. He had proposed to me...But it wasn't exactly the way I would've liked to be proposed. Well, I didn't want him to do that at all.

I felt Edward's arms around me. "It's ok...Please don't cry." I cried even more. Wasn't this suppossed to be a vacation? I know that I usually did cry during vacations, but I didn't have Edward. I did this time. Edward started shaking. I looked up into eyes. They were no longer evil looking, but kind, but with a little sadness.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, a little worried.

"Well, I figured if I can't cry, then why not shake."

"You really want to cry...?"

"Sorry, I hope that's not weak..."

"No, no it's ok. I think it's very manly that you actually admit that you want to cry."

"Thank you." He smiled at me and kissed my lips. My heart skipped a beat.

We went back inside, we were soaked. Edward turned the radio off. Then he started singing Enigma. It was so beautiful. And I had thought Chris sang it well. He started singing the beginnnig.

Do we know how to get the message across

We turn the lights off to find a way out

No time to get through to grasp what was lost

Don't turn the lights off and leave me in the dark

Hey, I'm pleading, my soul is bleeding

I don't want to be left alone, not when I'm right next to you

What are you thinking, it's so misleading

Is it not for me to know, I think it's just hard for you to show

We never spoke in the words that we want

We turn the lights off to find a way out

We never chosen to keep what we've got

Don't turn the lights off and leave me in the dark

"That's beautiful Edward." He smiled my favorite smile. I could not've asked for a better guy.

"Thank you." He stood in front of me and put his arms around my waist. He stared into my eyes. I stared back. I knew that when we got back home, he would need to go hunting. His eyes were getting darker everyday.

"What's going to happen if you lose control and kill me? Do you still have the temptations?"

He sighed. He looked down at his feet. "Well...For one thing," He looked back up at me, "I would never lose control like that. And...Sometimes I do, but not dangerously...But I guess just having a little temptation is dangerous, but I proved to you that I wasn't going to kill you, right? After James had bit you."

"Yes. You did prove it, but I justed wanted to make sure. Don't worry, if you kill me, I'll blame myself for tasting so good, 'kay?"

He chuckled, "Sounds good. Now by the smell of it your dinner is ready." He picked me up and carried me to the kitchen.

Alice and Rosalie were in the kitchen, Emmett was watching TV. I didn't see Jasper anywhere.

"Oh my god. Jasper isn't here is he...?" Edward asked.

"No, he's about a block away." Emmett said.

"I thought I smelled blood...But it was hard, with Bella so close."

"What...blood?" I wondered.

Edward carried me over to the table and put me in the chair. I looked over at what Emmett was watching. It was Fall Out Boy's music video A Little Less 16 Candles a Little More Touch Me, when they were pretending to be vampires. Emmett was laughing at the video.

"Don't worry Bella. It was just the chicken." Alice said as she handed me my plate. On the plate was chicken breast, with a baked potatoe, and some string beans. It looked very good. Like always, the food was already cut. I had gotten used to this by now. I started eating. Emmet walked into the kitchen.

"That was funny. Halarious. Hey Bella, you all better?" I nodded, he had asked me when my mouth was stuffed with food. "You know what you need to try? Grizzly. It's the best thing in the world."

"Please, mountain lions are better." Edward said. How nice this conversation was going...

"Right..." Emmett said, and just walked away and went on the computer, Rosalie followed.

"So, Bella what do you think?" Alice asked. I nodded. "Rosalie made the chicken, I made the vegetables." I gave her a thumbs up, I still couldn't answer anybody, since there was still food in my mouth. When I had finally finished I told her and Rosalie how good it was, they were both happy.

"Here you go." Edward handed me another red rose. "The red rose is a sign of love, wich is what we have, don't you agree?"

"Of course." I said.

The rest of the night until 10 o'clock Emmett and Edward continued there fight about wich was better: Grizzlie or mountain lions. Jasper came back when the smell of blood was gone. He came and talked with me, Rosalie, and Alice. At 10, Edward took me to bed, I wasn't that tired.

He pulled the covers up and put me in the bed. He got to the other side of the bed and got under the covers with me. I was still in my pajamas, I hadn't changed out of them.

He started kissing my cheeks and eventually moved to my lips. It got to the point where I was laying on top of his cold body. This was just like the night of my birthday, but he had stopped me, and I had started it. But we continued. Eventually, I got off of him. But apparently he wanted more.

"Bella, this is how I'm saying sorry I stopped you from doing this to me."

"But I thought I was 'Over estimating your self-control.'"

"I'm trying..."

"Don't, I don't want to go through this again."

"Now, how did this happen?" As he said this, he put his head on my stomach. He ran his fingers through my hair.

"Just, the last time we did that you stopped me... And then a few days later..."

Edward put his finger over my lips. "Stop." He was very serious. He put his head up and kissed me again. "And I will, too." He said when he let go.

"I don't want you to stop, but it's the right thing to do."

He smiled at me. "I'm proud of you...I'm sorry..."

"What?"

"Looking back...Saying Mike Newton was a hell of a healthier guy for you...Yelling at you like that...Just leaving you-"

I put my finger over his lips this time. "Stop." I kissed him, "And I won't." I kissed him again. Edward had half his body on me. He was surpressing his weight, so he wouldn't crush me. Then he stopped.

"I...Can't do it..." He said.

"What?"

"Anything..."

"NO!"

"Bella, not like that...I know I need to leave you, but we know how that went, and the whole turning you into a vampire thing...I can't do it."

"Yeah you can!"

"No, I can't, I'm not going to do that to you."

"I do NOT want to hear this! You said if I married you then you would turn me into a vampire! I've been considering it! You can't just change your mind! Now tell me this, whose healthier being with, you or Jacob?"

"That's hard to say..." I waited for an answer until I knew I wouldn't get one.

I sighed. Edward had his head right above my chest. He was softly breathing. "Sorry..." He muttered. "We'll figure it out when the time comes. But I have to ask...Aren't you scared?"

I considered the question. Of course I was scared, the pain, as he said, was unbarable. There was a chance that I wouldn't survive. But I would go through with it if it meant that I would be with Edward forever.

"A little." I answered. I felt his head nodd. He started singing.

Stories in our lives

We'll them all inside

Stories in our lives

We'll keep all inside

Now Look at me still in your mind

Our memories so intertwined

Well you broke through and found your way

And so did I no need to stay

Same old pictures so tried and true

We've been through that, lets look for something new

"Hmmm...Well some was true, I guess." I said.

"Hmm...Yeah..." He laughed. He started nibbling at my neck, and I have to say, I got a little out of control, I wanted to scream, but I knew Edward and he wasn't trying to kill me, he would never do that. Exactly. I told myself. Turning me into a vampire would be killing me...He promised he would never kill me, that I could trust him...

"Edward..." He stopped.

"Oh, sorry..."

"No, just," I sighed,"nothing...Don't worry about it.

"Get some sleep."

"I think I've had enough sleep..."

"Well try anyway."

"Not with the way your'e talking to me."

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Please get some sleep..."

"That's more like it. Ok Edward, I'll try to get some more sleep. 'Night. Love ya." I kissed his cheek and closed my eyes. I never felt his head move from where it was. It was like a big weight on my chest. I cried again...Hopefully for the last time during this vacation. Today had been...Awful...But I couldn't wait until Saturday. We were going to go jetskiing. I would get to feel the exhileration again just like with the motorcycles. I was so excited. But must've felt my heart beat with the excitment, beacause I felt his head come up.

"Bella...Go to sleep..." I could hear his smile, so I just smiled back at him. A few moments later he put his head back on my chest, and I fell alseep.

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Hope you guys enjoyed. I have to say I worked harder on this chapter than any others. Sorry if it wasn't that funny. I tried putting in a few funny parts in it. This chapter also had more songs in it. The first song is Enigma by Trapt, and the second song Edward sings is Stories, also by Trapt. I might not update chapter 5 for awhile. The chapter might be a bit long, 'cause there fishing and going shopping. Plus I might be going to my cousin's house. I might try writing there, but we'll see how that goes. Anyways...Thanks for your time, Buh-Bye!