"So, I met your dad today." I said, taking Jay's hand in mine hoping for some kind of response. "He's a real charmer. I guess I know where you get your attitude from, which I guess means you got your heart from your mom."

"She killed herself." Alex said from behind me. It startled me and I jumped slightly but she continued anyway, "The same year my dad died. We were ten and it was the worst year of our lives."

"What was she like?" I asked.

"Like the sun shining through a rain storm. She was beautiful and smart but she was sad all the time. She caught Jay's dad screwing his secretary and I guess it pushed her over the edge. Jay doesn't like talking about it, so when he wakes up don't let him know I told you." Alex explained.

"You mean if he wakes up?" I said, my voice cracking at the thought.

She didn't answer but I saw her head nod slightly. She chased away the silence by saying, "Brie and I are heading out. Are you going to be okay?"

I shrugged but gave her a little smile. I watched her disappear as the door shut behind her then I turned my attention back to Jay.

"I need you to wake." I said trying to sound stern. In my ears it sounded anything but. "Please."

I heard the door open again behind me but figured it was just Manny bringing me a fresh cup of coffee. I wiped away the tears not wanting her to see them.

"I'm sorry," Sean's voice sai,d causing me to whip around and look at him. "I guess I didn't realize how much he means to you, or maybe I didn't want to."

"He's changed, Sean. We all have." I said, my voice low and strained from emotion. "This summer with Jay, he showed me the person I want to be, fearless, strong, adventurous. I don't think I can be that girl without him."

"Ellie, you've always been that girl. Standing up to your mom was fearless. Admitting you had a problem cutting was strong. Giving guys like Jay and me a chance is adventurous. Jay didn't make you that girl. You did that all on your own." Sean replied as he kneeled down beside me.

"Maybe, but he made me see her. He made me see me." I added. Then with a look at Jay I let it all out, "I love him."

Sean was quiet for a minute. I waited for the arguments and protests to begin but he simply said, "I hope he knows how lucky he is."

We sat their quietly for what felt like an eternity but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence like the other times. This time it was peaceful. I found myself relaxing a little, well as much as someone sitting vigil in a hospital could anyway. My stomach growled and I realized I still hadn't eaten more than a couple bites of the blueberry muffin Manny had brought me in from the cafeteria.

"I think I'm going to go grab a bite to eat. Come get me if he wakes up?" I asked, waiting for Sean to agree before I left the room.

I made my way down the hallways paying little attention to the people around me. I no longer cared how their lives compared to mine or why they were there in the first place. It didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was Jay.

"Mind if I join you?" Manny asked sitting down across from me at one of the tables in the cafeteria. She didn't wait for me to answer so I didn't bother.

It was a little awkward. We'd some how managed to form something close to a friendship while stuck in the white washed halls of the hospital. I didn't understand it but who was I to question fate?

"I'm sorry I called Emma. I honestly didn't think her and Sean would be like this." Manny apologized.

"It's okay." I replied, taking a bite of the salad I had bought. "Actually, I think Sean's coming around."

"That's good." Manny said with a little smile. "I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know what it's like to watch someone you care about lie in a hospital bed. This past year when Emma was fighting her eating disorder, it was really scary."

"Kind of funny isn't it? How much it seems we have in common." I added with a small chuckle.

"Yeah, it is." she agreed as we both dug into the food in front of us.

I slept better that night than I had the night before. It may have had to do with the fact that I wasn't alone. Manny had decided to stay, taking over the couch as I slept on the floor. Sean had volunteered to stay too but after listening to the fifteen minute argument between him and Emma I finally told him to just go back to the house. Or it could have been the fact that after my outburst with Jay's dad he'd told the doctors that it was okay to update us about Jay's condition. Dr. Andrews informed us that despite the fact he was still unconscious it did seem that he was getting better. The internal bleeding had stopped and his bruised ribs were healing nicely.

I would have been lying if I said I wasn't still worried because I was. I was terrified that he wouldn't wake up and even more terrified that if he did, he still wouldn't be able to forgive me about the kiss with Craig. I'd never wanted anything as much as I wanted to be with Jay. Good or bad, it didn't matter, I wanted it.

I woke up early the next morning feeling refreshed. It was barely dawn as the soft, pale, pink light of the rising sun began to drift in through the waiting room window. I padded down the hall to Jay's room and quietly let myself in. I sat down in the chair that had my butt prints permanently embedded in it. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder with yesterday's admission that I loved Jay. Now all that was left to do was tell him to his face.

Once again I took his hand in mine, placing a gentle kiss on his warm skin. I opened my mouth to tell him everything when his hand gently squeezed mine. At first I thought I was imagining it but I looked up and saw his eyes flutter. My heart skipped as I tried to think of something to do, something to say.

"Jay?" I started.

I heard a little groan from the back of his throat as he licked his lips and tried to speak. But before any words could make their way out the door flew open. Nurses and doctors rushed in pushing me further and further away from his side. I stood outside the open door listening to the hushed voices as they checked Jay's vitals and made double sure that he really was okay.

"What's going on?" Alex asked, walking down the hall with fear etched in every corner of her face.

"He's awake." I said as a real smile began to spread across my lips. "He squeezed my hand and then he woke up."

"Is he okay?" she asked as the excitement began to replace the worry. "I mean he's okay, right?"

"I don't know. It just happened. The doctors are still in there." I answered but after a second or two I added, "I think he is. Going to be okay, I mean."

It was close to a half an hour later when we were finally let back in to see him. I was unbelievably nervous despite the fact that I had spent just about the entire summer with him. I went in first, ready to spill my guts, ready to tell him how much he really meant to me.

I knocked on the door and waited until he called out, "Come in," to go inside.

He looked at me and smiled then in an instant the smile was gone. I assumed all the memories of before the accident had come rushing back to him but I had no way of knowing for sure. I eased myself further inside the room but didn't sit down.

"You had us all scared." I said with a little laugh.

"Sorry," He replied.

I bent my head in shame. This was going to be a lot harder then I thought. "Jay," I started again.

He cut me off asking, "Is Alex here?"

It hurt. He didn't want to see me, he wanted to see Alex. He wasn't in love with me; he was in love with Alex. How could I have been so stupid to get myself into this mess again, first Sean, then Craig, and now Jay? I couldn't help but think what an idiot I had been.

I swallowed the lump in my throat before replying, "Yeah, she's in the waiting room with Brie, Manny, Emma, Sean, and Craig."

He looked a little shocked at the mention of Sean but nodded, "Can you send her in here?"

I held back the tears that desperately wanted out as I whispered, "Okay," and headed out of the room.

I refused to give Emma, Craig, or Sean the satisfaction of seeing me hurt so outside of the waiting room I pulled myself together. Putting on a fake smile and praying it didn't look as fake as it felt. Then with a deep breath I forced myself through the door.

"He's awake," I said trying to sound excited. Then pointing at Alex I added, "He wants to see you next."

No one said anything as Alex stood up and headed down the hall to Jay's room. I felt my false bravado failing so I made up something about needing to use the bathroom. It wasn't a complete lie. I really did feel sick to my stomach. I steadily made my way out of the room trying not to draw attention to myself. The last thing I needed was a bunch of 'I told you so's'.

"You are so going to pay for this," Alex teased as she walked into Jay's hospital room. "You know I hate hospitals."

"And you came anyway?" He asked back, his tone anything but teasing.

Alex shrugged as she sunk down into the chair beside his bed, "I couldn't exactly stick Ellie with full time babysitting duty, now could I?"

"I'm surprised she's here at all." He stated flatly.

"Are you kidding me?" Alex asked, not sure if Jay was joking or not. "She hasn't left the hospital except to get a shower and change her clothes."

Jay rolled his eyes slightly and not because of the pounding in his head but because he remembered seeing Craig and Ellie kissing. He may have been unconscious but he wasn't stupid, he didn't have amnesia.

"Don't do this, Jay." Alex warned locking him with a death glare. "Don't push her away after everything she's been through."

"Everything she's been through?" Jay asked in disbelief.

"News flash, moron. She stood up for you not just to Craig but to Emma, to Sean, to your dad. Cut her some slack, so she screwed up. If I remember correctly you're not perfect either." Alex shot back in annoyance.

"Who died and made you queen of know it all?" Jay asked relaxing a little bit. He didn't want to fight with Lexie. At the moment she was the only person he wanted to see.