This story was last updated November 29, 2022.
"Ash, you've defeated two gym leaders in this fanfiction and you used Mew to win twice! You haven't won a single gym badge properly since I've known you!" Misty said as she was nibbling on her bagel.
"Well, I didn't have to stop Team Rocket at your gym, ya know!" Ash said as he farted from the fiber that the bagel gave him. Mew was floating next to him and she felt so validated that someone else was having smelly farts along with her. Mew joined Ash and she clenched her fists and released a fart for four seconds that reached their ears at 107 decibels, sighing with relief as the fumes were dispersed amongst the companions she had.
"Did this fanfic turn into a Yoshizilla fanfic?" asked Brock as he was gaining a little too much self awareness. Mew flew up to him and she slapped him and covered his mouth.
"Hold it, buster! You're gaining a little too much awareness of the fact this is a fanfic of any sort! But yes, I wouldn't mind if this story was now dedicated to me farting!"
"Chill out with the farts, Mew!" Ash said. "I need help catching another Pokemon."
"Why do you need a Pokemon when you have Mew who can change into any Pokemon?" asked Misty. She was making a very valid argument.
"Because I got rid of Butterfree!" Ash commented.
"No you didn't," said Mew. "In the Anime, yes, you were supposed to have gotten rid of Butterfree by this time, but I made things different. Meaning, if you catch another Pokemon, it'll go straight to the PC!"
"Um. What the hell is the PC?" asked Ash.
"Duh! Didn''t you ever play the game?" asked Mew.
"No?" asked Ash as he was even more confused now. "Look, I'm gonna catch a Pokemon, right, Pikachu?" Ash told his Pokemon.
"Pikachu!" said the Pokemon.
The gang continued to walk along Route 7 and Mew kept on farting every now and then, each of them ranging from about 98 to even 111 decibels. Soon, they arrived to a place that was kind of arid.
"Is this the Grand Canyon?" asked Misty.
"No, the Grand Canoyon doesn't exist in this universe," Mew told her. "This is the Awesome Butte Route."
"For real?" asked Ash.
"Yasss," Mew said as she went over and hugged his arm. Ash began to wave it around to shake Mew off and it knocked her off and she hit a a rock formation that fell down on the other end. It released a lot of dust and it washed over them.
"Good job, dumbass," Brock said positively as he gave a thumbs up.
Ash continued walking until he saw a Mankey. "Let's give it a donut."
"No, these are called onigiri," corrected Brock ironically compared to the fact he called it a donut in the anime.
"I'm sure Mankey would like a peanut butter sandwich instead," Mew said as she conjured up a jar of peanut butter and some cheap bread from a discount store in Saffron. She smeared it and soon, Mankey came over and stole it from her with a happy look on his face!
"Nice! Are you gonna catch it?" asked Misty.
"Psh, not yet! I'm gonna wait until it evolves or something," Ash said. Soon, Team Rocket came and Jesse came forward.
"Hand over the flying pink rat and your Pikachu!" she demanded as she smiled in a fiendish manner.
"No way, dude!" Ash said with fists clenched. Mankey soon hugged Jesse's knee and she said,
"What the *beep* is this furball doing! Get it off of me!" She kicked Mankey off and soon, Mankey randomly evolved for some reason.
"Yo, da *beep* just happened!" screamed Meowth as he was now scared for some reason.
"It evolved! Let's go after it!" James said and soon the three criminals began to attack Primeape but got their asses handed to them since they got knocked out. The enraged Primeape started chasing the gang!
"We need to stop it!" Brock said as he threw some of the "donuts" at Primeape. Primeape hated rice, so he punched all of them and continued chasing them as if they owed him money.
"I got an idea, I'll do this!" Mew said as she turned into an Alakazam and fired a psybeam at Primeape. It caused him to faint and she said, "Ash, now is your chance. You got to throw a Pokeball before it is too late!"
Ash threw the Pokeball at the Pokemon and it was caught.
"Hurray! You caught that thing!" Misty cheered as she then farted to commemorate the moment.
"Oh, no, not this again," Ash said as he waved the air. "Yo, I'm tired of walking. Can we get a taxi or something?"
"In 20 so years in the future, something called Uber will be popular!" Cheered Mew.
"Will I become a champion in the future?" Ash's curiosity was getting the better of him since Mew could read into the future.
"I'm not telling!" she said in a sing song voice. "So, what are you gonna use at the next gym?"
"Squirtle, Pikachu, and Bulbasaur!" Ash chuckled. "Aren't they good against grass types?"
"You know grass types resist water and electric moves, right?" asked Brock.
"Who gives a *beep*!" Mew said. "Let Ash lose if he doesn't wanna use me~!"
"I can't keep using you, Mew, because I won't learn," Ash said.
"You already haven't learned type match ups, so just use me to make it quick and easy!" Mew chimed in as she hugged Pikachu.
"Okay, I'll never learn so I'll use you to cheat," Ash said to Mew.
"Attaboy, you'll head straight to Failure Town!" Misty said sarcastically as she threw a bagel into the air so a Pidgeot could swoop down and catch it. Soon, they saw the skyline of Celadon City.
"Wow, this city has a nice impressive skyline!" Ash said. Mew snuggled in his backpack and said,
"They have famous perfume. Why don't you get me some to mask my smelly farts?"
"Um, okay," Ash said as they went to the perfume shop.
