Unrequited
peachpandabear
Summary:
Jack has had a crush on Chase for what feels like forever.
Who can blame him, really? it's not like it's difficult to have a crush on the man, Chase is beautiful and strong. Jack's always done his best to be careful with it though, keeping enough distance between them so as not to fall for real. He's done a good job of it over the years, settling into hero worship easily and avoiding any real connection as much as he can. Of course Chase had to ruin it all by actually talking to him.
But the coughing up flowers things is definitely new.
Jack having a massive crush on Chase Young is old news.
Anyone with eyes can see it. The monks, Wuya, Chase himself, it's as obvious as the red of his eyes and the paleness of his skin. At first, it was funny, the hopeless sort of way he followed Chase around begging for any scrap of attention he could get, now it's just the way things are, just a part of who Jack is alongside the robots and the trench coats. He's had a crush on Chase for so long it might as well be stamped on his forehead.
But that's all it is, a crush.
Jack admires Chase more than anyone else he's ever met. Been in awe of his strength and grace for years, has wanted nothing more than to grow to be as grand as him, maybe if he's lucky even surpass him. It doesn't help that Chase is unfairly beautiful to sweeten the deal even further, he's only human, he was bound to fall hard. But love? Real, actual love? He's smart enough to know that what he feels for Chase is nowhere near love.
Still, he admires Chase from afar and from as close as he can get, never bringing up the obvious crush he has on the man but not hiding it either. It settles into a part of who he is, feeling more like a personality trait than emotions as the years pass. Perhaps the feelings should have faded or shifted into something deeper as he grew, but Jack never dares allow himself to fall completely, keeping a careful distance between them as a small act of respect to Chase and a form of protection for himself. So they stay the way they always have, Jack never letting go of the admiration he holds for Chase, keeping the man on a pedestal for years as Jack grows into an adult and continues towards his own goals.
Of course, once Jack is comfortable in the way things are, they change before he realizes what's happening.
Jack could never quite pin down when it started, their slow shift into more than nuisance and idol. It seems like things changed between one blink and the next, leaving him feeling dizzy and disoriented but just about giddy with excitement at the same time. One moment, Chase is ordering him to connect his citadel to the modern world with the help of his Bots, before he knows what happening he has an open invitation into Chase's home. The warriors don't attack him on sight, and he's holding semi-comfortable conversations with Chase himself.
He tries not to question it, he's afraid he'll wake up from a beautiful dream if he looks too closely.
It's not the same as the fantasies he'd had as a teenー for one thing Chase isn't training him to be his apprenticeー but it's still somehow better than he could have ever imagined. He and Chase actually talk now! Without him being punched or maimed or kicked out of the citadel or anything! It was surreal and mildly terrifying at first, talking to Chase almost normally, but he gets used to it eventually. From there they slip into a different sort of relationship, Jack wouldn't call them friends, or even allies unless they're forced to be, but there's an understanding between them that wasn't there when Jack first met Chase. It's nice.
Jack still tries his best to keep some distance between them, but it's hard not to get slightly personal when he stumbles upon Chase in his own home, doing normal everyday things that he would have never thought Chase would do before. It's hard not to fall a little when Chase talks to him without snapping or answers a question he has about the place with a story of some form or another from his past. It doesn't matter if that kind of stuff makes his heart race a little faster or if learning more about Chase is the highlight of his week. It doesn't, really.
But then he starts coughing up flowers.
It starts with a couple petals on his pillow when he wakes up in the morning. They're obvious from the moment he opens his eyes, stark white and red against the black of his sheets. He picks one up from his pillow to look at it more closely. It's a relatively large petal, wide and fanned out slightly. Jack shrugs, rubbing his thumb against the softness of it before picking up the other one and throwing both away. He must have tracked them in from the Wu hunt yesterday.
The coughing starts up later that day.
It starts as an occasional cough, something Jack can brush off as breathing in some dust or a dry throat and go about his day. He starts sucking on cough drops when the cough persists, though the tingling feeling in the back of his throat lingers. They become more and more frequent as the day passes, though they're still no more than one or two coughs every thirty minutes or so. They're annoying, for sure, but nothing more worrying than him coming down with a cold.
The first time he coughs up a petal happens later that night.
He's finishing up the last of his repairs to the Jackbots when it happens, putting away his tools and making sure everything is in its place before he heads up to bed. It starts as a single cough, but that builds into a small fit that stops just as soon as it began. He covers his mouth with a hand on reflex, leaving it there for a few seconds before he pulls it back, a stark white petal sits in his palm, the flecks of red bright against the paleness of his hand. He stares at the petal in bewilderment, mind racing to find a reasonable explanation for how the petal could have possibly gotten there. He has none, but he's tired enough that it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, so he shrugs it off and throws the petal away before heading up to bed.
There are more petals resting on his pillow when he wakes up.
Contrary to popular belief, Jack isn't actually an idiot. So when the coughing continues throughout the day he gets a bit concerned. He waits until he coughs up a few more petals before bringing out his medical bot and orders it to examine him. The bot is far easier to deal with than a regular doctor, it examines him quickly and without pause for small talk, asking questions only when needed to complete its work. Jack's glad he decided to build it on a whim several years ago, he has a feeling this is some sort of magical thing and trying to explain that to a doctor would only lead to him either being put in a mental hospital or under some scientist's microscope.
The medical bot finishes its examination soon, but the results are less than ideal. According to the several scans the medical boot took, along with the x-rays taken of his chest, there are flowers growing in his lungs. Peonies specifically, from the analysis another Bot takes of the petals. Jack spends several minutes panicking over the results, asking the Medical Bot question after question to make sure the results are accurate. His first instinct is to run to Chase's citadel, surely he'll know what kind of magical thing is happening to him, but he hesitates. As close as they are, Chase is still Heylin. Wuya has taught him more than once not to trust other Heylin, as much as he wishes he could. He needs more information about what's happening to him before he goes to Chase, even the smallest amount is better than going into that discussion totally blind.
So instead he does the next best thing, he goes to the internet.
Searching "flowers growing in lungs" leads to far more results than Jack originally expected, with several sources for fanart and fanfiction. The only thing that seems constant is a name: Hanahaki Disease. Searching that leads to more fanart and fanfiction, but it also gives him an urban dictionary entry which is the first genuine hint he has.
Hanahaki Disease: A fictional (emphasis on fictional) disease, often used in fanfictions, where the victim regurgitates and coughs up flower petals when they suffer from unrequited love. Some sources put special emphasis on the meanings of the flowers coughed up, though it varies from source to source. The illness can only be cured through surgical removal; however, any existing romantic feelings are also removed with the infection.
So apparently he has some sort of fanfiction disease, fantastic, he's not even really shocked anymore. Magical Shen Gong Wu are a thing that exists, why not made up diseases too? Jack rubs his eyes roughly with the heels of his palms, blinking away the spots it makes in his vision before sighing and opening a new tab. Might as well learn all he can about this if he's committing to it.
According to various fanfiction sites ーa dubious source but he doesn't exactly have a lot of optionsー the flowers themselves could mean various things. A popular one seems to be either the flowers describing how the person with the disease is feeling or they describe the traits the person with the disease fell for in the person they love. It sounds like a bunch of bullshit to Jack, but it doesn't stop him from looking up flower meanings anyway. It turns out peonies have several different meanings; Shame, bashfulness, anger are the general meanings, which Jack feels is fitting, he's feeling a good bit of all of those right now. They mean masculinity and bravery in Japan, which is less fitting, but it's the meanings in China that are the most alarming. Prosperity and honor, he definitely knows someone who he admires those qualities in, a certain Chinese dragon lord fits the bill pretty well. Clearly, the world has decided he hasn't been punished enough.
He just had to be in love with Chase Young, didn't he?
He ends up ignoring the problem, for the most part, it's not like he can do anything to fix it anyway. Confessing to Chase is not an option. He can't ruin all the progress they've made, not with his stupid feelings. Whatever surgery urban dictionary mentioned isn't an option either, the fact that it's purely hypothetical is enough to deter him regardless but knowing his luck he's more likely to die from magical backlash than be cured if he tried it. Really though, even if it did work, he doesn't want to lose these feelings for Chase.
Now that he's realized they're there, they're just as obvious as his crush always was. His crush on Chase was stubborn and near manic in its intensity, a constant low buzz that followed him around wherever he went and spiked into an overexcited frenzy in Chase's presence. Pathetic really, but Jack's never been one to do things in moderation. Being in love with Chase is quieter, a warm glow in his stomach that flutters at the thought of him. A gentle feeling that makes him smile at the thought of the man. Don't get him wrong, he still gets excited in Chase's presence, but it's a manageable sort of excitement, one that settles into contentment the more time he spends with him. He recognized the changes in his feelings for Chase as they were happening, but he figured it was just him mellowing out and settling into a friendship type relationship with Chase. Obviously, he was wrong about that.
He likes these new feelings, even if they're trying to kill him now. He knows Chase would never return them, he's not stupid, but he'd rather stay quiet and keep them than open his big mouth and have them ripped away from him by a disgusted dragon lord. He wants to keep things between them the way they are for as long as he can. Chase will realize what's happening at some point, he's too intelligent not to, but until then Jack is going to cling to what they have as much as he can. It hurts, both the rejection and the coughing fits, but Jack has been through worse over the years. Has been hit, thrown and smashed against just about any surface you can think of, so he can deal with this.
So, he continues through his usual routine as usual. Going to showdowns and working on his Bots, occasionally spending days in the citadel with Chase and Wuya and pretending that everything is fine. The coughing gets worse, he has to be creative with hiding the petals he coughs up regularly, but it's manageable for now. The first time he coughs up a whole flower is a terrifying moment, with him coughing so hard he's afraid he'll pass out from the lack of oxygen but in the end, a single peony sits in the pile of petals at his feet. Luckily, he's alone in his house when it happens, and he can take the time to sit on the floor and panic about it without anyone there to see him. It becomes a regular thing after that first time, though it's never not terrifying.
He starts to avoid the citadel after that.
His Jackbots start to gather the flowers into vases when they clean up the petals and Jack lets them do it without complaint. It's a rather morbid thing to keep around, though no one but him will know it, it's as good an excuse as any for the smell of flowers that lingers around him these days if anyone cares enough to ask. The foyer fills with flowers quickly, and the smell of flowers lingers throughout the house.
Jack settles into his life from there, still going to the occasional showdown to avoid suspicion, but does his best not to get into any showdowns at all, in case he's hit with a coughing fit suddenly. It's not great, Jack's not particularly happy, but it's what he has to do to avoid being found out. He missed Chase, which is stupid because he's doing this to keep Chase from finding out, but that doesn't stop him from longing to spend time with him. He just wants to talk to him one more time, but Chase's heightened senses would pick up on the smell of flowers before Jack even entered the same room as him and Jack would be found out before he could so much as open his mouth. So he goes through the motions as usual, unhappy but coping decently enough. This has to be enough, he can't risk the alternative.
Jack probably would have gotten away with hiding it if not for Wuya deciding to meddle.
He's minding his own business when she shows up at his house as he's taking a quick break to eat while the Jackbots clean up the flowers covering his lab from another coughing fit. The front foyer is absolutely filled with peonies now, their perfume heavy throughout the house no matter where he goes, even the lab smells sweet beyond the scent of motor oil. The smell is getting to him a little, making his stomach turn a bit at the memory of coughing those flowers up, it distracts him enough not to notice he's no longer alone until the intruder speaks up.
"So, this is where you've been."
Jack flinches in surprise, whipping around towards the voice and glaring at Wuya's smug face. She's leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, looking far too pleased about scaring him. Jack groans, turning back to the island in the center of the kitchen and returning his attention to the sliced apples a Jackbot had left for him, "What do you want, Wuya?"
"Now, Jack, is that any way to greet your oldest friend?" Wuya teases, walking into the kitchen to stand on the other side of the island from him.
Jack pauses to roll his eyes pointedly, making sure Wuya can see him do it, "Yeah right, you going to tell me what you want, or should I make the Jackbots kick you out?" He asks again, shoving one of the slices into his mouth and crunching loudly, he smirks when a flash of annoyance crosses Wuya's face.
"Can I not come check on my favorite inventor?" She croons to cover up her annoyance, batting her eyelashes sweetly.
Jack snorts, "Try again," he says, turning on his heel with his fruit and walking out of the kitchen.
He hears Wuya follow behind him, but he ignores her to settle in on a couch in the living room, setting his fruit on the coffee table in front of him. Wuya drapes herself across one of the armchairs next to the couch, but her expression is more serious than before, "You've been avoiding the citadel lately."
Jack blinks, not expecting her to say it outright. He glances away, not sure what to say, Wuya knows all his tells so he can't exactly lie, "Wuya…" he begins, hesitating.
"Did Chase do something?" she asks. Jack blinks in surprise, when he looks up Wuya looks strangely serious, "He's been moping for the past week, if he has done something to upset you I need to know what it is, Jack."
Jack shakes his head rapidly, "No! No, it's fine. Chase hasn't done anything," He says, covering his face with his hands and sighing, "It's me, it's my problem."
Jack hears Wuya stand up from the armchair and walk over to him, he doesn't fight her when she pulls his hands away from his face, "What's wrong, Jack?" she asks, brow furrowed and mouth twisted into a frown.
Jack snorts, shaking his head and standing up without a word. Like hell he's going to tell Wuya he has Hanahaki disease, he has no doubt that she knows what it is and he knows she'll tell Chase if he tells her. Wuya lets him walk away, but he can hear her following behind him as he heads back towards the lab. She makes a surprised sound when they reach the front foyer. Jack has to pause when the smell makes him dizzy, and Wuya makes a concerned noise in the back of her throat. Jack opens his mouth to tell her he's fine, but he feels the tingle of a cough in the back of his throat and freezes.
"Jack?" Wuya calls from behind him.
Jack whips around and starts dragging Wuya towards the door by her arm, "You need to leave, now."
Wuya yanks her arm out of his hold, "Why? What's going on, Jack!" she demands, voice loud and body language near screaming her refusal to move another step.
Jack opens his mouth to yell back, but his breath stutters in his chest.
The first cough nearly sends him to his knees, a spray of white and red petals falling to the floor. Wuya gasps in front of him, but Jack can't look up to see her reaction, to busy trying to stay standing while a fit of coughing wracks his body. He's helpless to do anything as flowers continue to fly out of his mouth. He falls to a knee without realizing it, and his hands shake from where they clutch at his chest. He feels dizzy from the lack of oxygen, mind too hazy to do anything but cough. He doesn't realize he's stopped coughing until Wuya makes another sound, when he looks up he's surrounded by flowers. It takes him a second, but he focuses on Wuya eventually.
And Wuya? Wuya looks horrified, but Jack doesn't have time to think about that as his eyes roll into the back of his head and he passes out.
When Jack comes to he's beneath the blankets on a lavish and strangely familiar bed. He blinks blearily up at the gray stone ceiling above him. His chest feels tight and his throat raw, but he ignores that to lift his head and look around the room he's in. It takes him a few seconds of staring to register why the room seems so familiar, but eventually it clicks, this is his room in Chase's citadel. Well, technically it's just a bedroom connected to the makeshift workshop Chase let him set up in some empty guest quarters so he didn't have to constantly go back and forth from his lab at home and Chase's place, but privately Jack thinks of it as his room. He spends a confused few seconds wondering how he got here before remembering Wuya. He lets his head fall back onto the pillow with a soft whump, whispering curses under his breath, no doubt she'll have already told Chase what happened. Fuck.
He's proven right a few moments later when the door opens and Chase walks into the room. He's dressed in full armor with his usual cool and collected expression in place. It should make Jack feel better, instead it makes his heart rate kick up with a tiny jolt of anxiety. It doesn't help that Chase's expression shifts when he looks over at him, shuttering off into an unreadable mask as he approaches the bed. Jack opens his mouth to give Chase an awkward greeting, but he's unable to force any sounds out of his throat. The tingling feeling of a cough builds the longer he tries, and Jack shuts his mouth with a click of his teeth to try and prevent it from building further.
Chase doesn't speak as he approaches, ignoring Jack completely as he walks over to the bedside table and picks up the ceramic pitcher sitting there. Jack watches as he pours water into one of the matching cups next to the pitcher, forcing himself to sit up when Chase finally shifts his attention to him so he can take the cup from Chase's hands. He drains the cup, the cool water soothing his throat immediately and washing away the urge to cough. He takes a deep, rattling breath in as he passes the cup back to Chase, giving him a half-hearted smile.
"Thanks."
Chase hums in response, refilling the cup again and setting it on the table close enough for Jack to grab if he needs it. He sets the pitcher back down before shifting his attention back to Jack. Jack resists the urge to squirm under his gaze, they're past that now. At least, Jack hopes they're still past that now. Chase doesn't speak as he moves to settle on the edge of the bed, purposefully sitting towards the end to give Jack space. The gesture makes Jack relax a bit, Chase could be surprisingly considerate when he wasn't trying to intimidate someone into doing what he wanted.
"Who is it?" Chase asks, keeping his expression carefully blank.
Any relaxation Jack once had is gone now, his entire body tensing as his stomach rolls with anxiety. He stares down at his lap, heart pounding in his chest as he clenches the dark silken sheets under his hands tightly. Heat pools in his cheeks as embarrassment and shame mix with the anxiety in his stomach, leaving him feeling nauseous. He wants nothing more than to get up and run. They're really about to have this conversation, huh? He's going to miss spending time with Chase, he doubts the warlord would take the time to make him say it out loud if he wasn't about to tear into Jack for it.
"I only ask so I may assist in convincing them to rethink their decisions," Chase continues as if he can't hear Jack panicking from two feet away, "I would not ask otherwise, Jack. I understand this is a, hm, private matter." The word private comes out strangely like Chase has to force the word out of his throat.
Jack's head snaps up at the words, he stares at Chase with open bewilderment, shock allowing words to slip past his lips before he has the chance to think about them, "C'mon, Chase, this is cruel even for you."
Chase's eyes narrow slightly at his words, "Excuse me?"
Jack huffs out a weak breath, pressing his lips together hard and running his hands roughly through his hair, "You have to know, Chase, I'm the most obvious person on the planet!" he insists, hurt despite himself that Chase would play a game like this with him.
Chase looks considering, head cocked to the side slightly and mouth twisted at a strange angle, "Enlighten me, Jack."
Jack wheezes a bit as he tries to suppress a cough, two petals slip past his lips anyway, stark white and red against the dark silk. His eyes sting with unshed tears, shame and hurt warring in his chest, "It's you, Chase, I'm in love with you ," he looks away from Chase as he speaks, staring down at the petals in his lap.
The bed shifts slightly as Chase stands. Jack doesn't look up, not wanting to see the look on Chase's face now that he's gotten what he wanted. He bites the inside of his cheek to try and keep the tears from falling, he has to wait for Chase to leave before he can get out of here with the last of his dignity. If he's lucky they can go back to how things were before they got closer, he can live with that for whatever length of time he has left, but he's not sure he could handle Chase turning cruel on top of the flowers trying to choke him from the inside.
Jack doesn't get the chance to escape, instead Chase moves until he's standing in front of him before grabbing the front of his shirt roughly and pulling Jack towards himself. Jack flails to his knees as he's pulled forward, breath hitching in his chest as a spike of fear goes through him, "Chase, whatー"
Lips meet his before he can continue.
The kiss is hard and possessive, but careful. Chase holds him close by his shirt, his other hand coming up to curl around the back of Jack's head and tangle in his hair. Jack takes a few seconds to realize what's happening, eyes wide and body frozen in shock, but once it clicks he melts into Chase's hold, closing his eyes and kissing back with all he's worth. Chase makes a pleased sound against his lips, releasing his hold on Jack's shirt to wrap his arm around Jack's waist, pulling him closer. Jack shifts to rise higher on his knees, struggling to untangle his legs from the sheets before he steadies himself and presses closer to Chase's chest with a content little sigh. Jack's arms come up to wrap around Chase's neck, one arm staying loosely draped across the warlord's shoulders while Jack's other hand trails up to tangle in his hair.
Chase breaks the kiss first, the hand still tangled in Jack's hair sliding down to rest on the back of his neck and pulling back just far enough to growl something indistinct into Jack's mouth. Jack hums in response to whatever it is Chase was trying to say, mind content and slow in the aftermath of the kiss. He moves his hand from Chase's hair, shifting the other arm so he can loosely interlock his fingers behind Chase's neck. His forearms resting along broad shoulders. He leans forward to steal another kiss, but before he has the chance to do more than brush their lips together, he feels a familiar tingle at the back of his throat.
He wheezes out a hoarse sound in warning to Chase, shoving back from his chest as the first cough forces itself out of his throat. Jack ends up half hunched over the bed as he coughs out a nearly endless stream of peonies. It feels like it goes on forever, Jack struggles to breathe his body shaking and heaves heaving against his will. Petals and whole flowers cover the bed beneath him, the pile growing and growing as Jack continues to cough. He feels Chase's arm slide around his waist, shifting him gently so his back is pressed into Chase's front as he continues to cough. Chase runs his hands up and down Jack's sides, a low grumble building in his chest as the coughing fit continues. The coughing stops just as quickly as it began, Jack's body gives one final heave before he's drawing in his first clear breath in weeks.
Hopefully the first of many.
Jack slumps back against Chase's chest, just breathing for several minutes. Chase is nearly purring behind him, arms wrapped tightly around Jack's middle as he waits for Jack to catch his breath. The sound makes Jack smile, he huffs out a hoarse laugh as a wave of relief crashes over him, "I guess I don't have to ask if you mean it, huh?" he jokes, voice wrecked and tired.
"No, I do not believe you do," Chase answers, lips pressed to the back of Jack's neck, "you are mine, Jack Spicer. I will not give you up now that I have you."
Jack grins at the room around them, settling fully into Chase's arms. The bed is covered in red and white peonies, their perfume heavy in the air, but for once the smell doesn't turn his stomach. Instead, the sight of the flowers fills him with a giddy sort of happiness, giving him enough energy to turn in Chase's arms and throw his arms around the warlord's neck again. He tucks his face into Chase's neck, laughing a bit as Chase picks him up off the bed to settle him into a standing position next to it. Once he's steady on his feet he pulls back to look at Chase; the warlord's face is uncharacteristically soft, eyes a gentle molten gold and a soft set to his lips. Jack doesn't even try to resist the urge to kiss him, he's allowed now.
"I'll make you regret those words, just you wait." He whispers against Chase's lips, unable to keep the grin off his face.
"Hm, we shall see." Chase cups the side of his face, drawing him closer for a proper kiss.
Maybe flowers aren't so bad after all.
