48.


After a whole afternoon of napping and a complete night of sleep only interrupted by the occasional nightmare – Haymitch's as it had turned out – Effie felt refreshed. She had gotten out of bed that morning full of that restless energy that had always made Haymitch groan in his pillow so she had gone to work on sorting through the belongings she had gotten back from the penthouse.

The shoes were all staying, there was no question.

But the dresses…

She had already cut down the lingerie in half while drinking the weak tea that came with their breakfast, to Haymitch's clear despair. He had rescued a couple of corsets from the rejected pile on the floor and she had pretended not to see but, honestly, anything with laces had to go.

When he had left to go take care of the children, after making sure she would be alright by herself and asking for the third time if she was certain she didn't want him to ask Johanna or Annie to come spend time with her, she had moved away from the lingerie and to the dresses.

Which was why she was now staring at her reflection, a blue dress held close to her chest, trying to determine if it was worth keeping or not. It was a midnight blue with embroidered birds that shimmered in the light and could easily turn the dress into a disco ball in the right lightning… But it also looked like would be two sizes too big on her – like most of the outfits, really.

A round of knocking at the door interrupted her wavering and she tossed the dress on the bed, checking her reflection out of reflex – a brand new reflex, acquired after the penthouse episode. She looked alright, or at least she thought so. She had paired another pair of legging, a black and dark blue stripped things, with an off-white silky top that was meant to be pajamas and Haymitch's heavy woolen cardigan. And red stilettos with heeled chiseled like golden feathers. It gave the whole thing a needed pop of color. Her hair was loose in wild curls despite her best attempts at ruling it into some sort of half-up hairdo and the make-up she had applied to her face that morning was holding. She was experimenting with the make-up… Her face looked better with it in her opinion but she didn't want it to look garish anymore so it was a matter of finding the right balance… She had gone for some light pink eyeshadow, a very thin dark line above her eye, and faded pink lipstick. And foundation powder to hide imperfections, of course. Subtle. But she wasn't sure if it truly worked. Haymitch's opinion was useless on the matter. He kept telling her she looked good whatever she wore, tried on or did.

Another impatient knock tore her away from her reflection and she quickly crossed the living-room part of the suite, only sparing a moment to consider who could be knocking. The logical answer would have been Johanna, Annie or Peeta but the knocks didn't sound like either of them and… Between the time she reached for the handle and opened the door, she actually let herself get scared it would be soldiers trying to arrest her again.

But it wasn't a rebel squad.

It was her mother.

And she was surprised enough by the unexpected sight that she gaped a little.

"Close your mouth, Euphemia. How unbecoming." Elindra Trinket ordered, lips pursed. Effie obediently snapped her jaw shut but kept staring at the apparition. The woman's hair was jet black that day and pulled up in a puffy bun on top of her head, her brown fur coat made her think of a bear, the make-up was a lot but less than the other day at her house and… Her mother's lips pursed harder. "I know. I had to dress more… District. It is a travesty but Capitols have been known to get harassed in the streets lately."

Elindra didn't look like any District person she knew but she refrained from telling her that as her mother made her own inspection with something akin to relief.

"I see you have abandoned those grey monstrosities, yourself." Elindra commented. "This is not quite fashionable either, of course, but it is already a tiny improvement."

The backend compliment jerked her out of her surprise and she frowned a little. "How did you…"

"Oh, it was an ordeal!" Elindra huffed, glancing around and clutching her big handbag closer to her side as if she was scared someone would appear and mug her right there in the corridor. "I had to brave the streets, as I told you, and then once I announced myself at the Mansion's door, can you believe they would not let me in to see you? They had to call your victor. It was a hassle. Finally, after fifteen minutes, they let me in with an armed escort. As if I cannot find my own way. I have been here before, you know. Once, granted, but I have been here before. And that party was very exclusive."

Effie poked her head out of the room to find a rebel – one dressed like a District person, not one in grey, so not one from Thirteen – with a long-suffering expression on his face. The look the woman tossed her was pleading. She winced. "Thank you. I will walk her back myself, I promise."

"No Capitols wandering unattended around the Mansion." the rebel warned but then turned tails as if she couldn't get away fast enough.

Her mother watched her leave with a face full of contempt. "That girl could do with a complete make-over." Then she reported her blue eyes, so similar to hers, on Effie. "Will you leave me in the corridor or am I allowed to come in?"

Effie wordlessly stepped aside and invited her in, slowly closing the door behind her mother, wondering what she was supposed to do now.

"I…" She struggled to grasp for something to say and came short. Elindra hadn't moved far inside the living-room but her gaze was taking in every detail and Effie flushed when she spotted the leftovers from their breakfast tray on the coffee table and the clutter of papers Haymitch had abandoned on the small table they technically should have used for meals but that had been turned into a makeshift desk. "I don't have a lot to drink… I could run to the kitchens for some tea…"

"That is quite alright." Elindra dismissed with something that could have passed for a smile if it hadn't been so strained. "And where is your victor? He certainly took his time allowing me entry…"

She made victor sound like an insult.

And she was wrinkling her nose at the thought of him.

It angered Effie to no end.

"He has a few meetings." she replied, her tone a warning in itself.

He was meeting with Katniss' doctors first, then there would be another meeting with Peeta's doctors, including Doctor Aurelius. He had told her they would probably be long. She suspected he would also try to meet with Doctor Brown and Doctor Aurelius covertly while he was at it but she had let it slide.

Elindra cleared her throat, looking a little relieved to know she was alone. "I brought pictures."

Effie frowned at that. "Pictures?"

Her mother fished something out of her big purple leather purse, a pristine white album. "You said you remembered your grandfather so I brought some from your childhood."

"Oh… Pictures." Effie breathed out with sudden understanding. Elindra was waiting, expectant, and Effie realized she wanted to be invited to sit, presumably to watch the pictures. But… "I'm sorry, I…" She licked her lips. "It's really nice of you to have brought it, I just…" She rubbed her forehead, feeling the beginning of a stress headache. And she had been doing so well that morning… But it was the dread churning in her stomach that was the worst. Did she always feel dread in her mother's presence. "It isn't a good time for pictures."

She didn't want to risk it.

Didn't want to potentially have another episode.

Didn't want to stare at pictures where everything and everyone, including herself, would be a stranger.

She didn't know which one of the two would be worse, actually.

"I see." Elindra pursed her lips, carefully placing the album on the couch. "Well, you can keep them for a while. I have more at home, I will show them to you when you bring this one back." Her mother definitely had mastered the art of giving orders without seeming like she was giving orders, Effie mused. "You did say you would visit us again, Euphemia. We were patient but…" Elindra pursed her lips hard, as if she had a sour taste in her mouth. "Your father made me promise I would apologize, so here you have it: I apologize. I do not think I ought to as I was only looking out for you but if you felt like I was trying to manipulate you…"

"Which you were." she remarked because she still hadn't digested that ridiculous attempt at making her doubt Haymitch.

"Do not interrupt, it is rude." her mother chided, regarding her with some… unease. "You did say you would visit again. I hate to think I drove you away."

She hadn't actually said she would visit her parents again. Her mother had declared she would and they had left – ran away, really. Truth be told, she hadn't been sure she had wanted to see them again. Her family felt very… complicated. She could only handle a slight dose of complicated right then.

Doctor Aurelius had told her to take it one step at a time, at her own pace, and she was quite certain he would have told her there was no shame in politely asking her mother to go right then, to make her feelings heard.

She couldn't do that.

One look at her mother and… She couldn't do that.

The dread flared in her stomach.

"I was unwell." she explained. It wasn't a lie, even.

Elindra frowned – or at least, it looked like a frown but her face was so rigid with plastic it was hard to tell. "If you were ill, you should have sent word. I… I would have come sooner."

Effie decided the thought was nice but that it probably would have been torture to have her mother around when she didn't feel well. That voice of hers was shrill.

"Migraines. I regularly have bad ones." she dismissed. "And I had an episode the day before yesterday."

"You mentioned those." Elindra said cautiously. "I am not sure I completely understood what those… episodes involve."

"Oh, they… Well… Sometimes something triggers…" She cut herself off and sighed, finding herself exhausted at the thought of explaining it all again. She had already given her mother the barebones of it and… "My brain fights back against the block, that's the doctor's theory. Let's just say if I collapse and start convulsing, you need to call for medical help immediately. And don't be alarmed if I'm unresponsive for a while after that. It usually takes my mind a long time to come back."

Her mother looked alarmed now. "And you had one of those… episodes recently? Shouldn't you be in the hospital?"

She groaned. "I hate hospitals. And I'm fine now. It wasn't a big one."

Elindra didn't look entirely convinced. "Your father is looking for the best neurosurgeons. It is taking a little time because a lot of people went underground or fled the city but once we find them, you might…"

"I have good doctors already." she cut her off. Her mother looked like her feelings were hurt so Effie made a face. "But I suppose seeing another one could not hurt. Haymitch will probably insist on a second opinion if it is available." Haymitch was getting very frustrated with Doctor Brown and his inability to find a proper treatment for her headaches that didn't involve waiting until they were unbearable to take painkillers. It came from a good place, she knew. He hated seeing her in pain. "If anything, they might have an idea for the migraines…"

"Well. As much as I hate agreeing with that man, it is probably wise to consult as many specialists as possible." Elindra sneered, her fingers toying with the buttons of her coat with some uncertainty.

She wouldn't take it off until Effie invited her to, she surmised, because it would have been rude to impose. But something also told her Elindra would impose whether she wanted to or not.

Effie wasn't entirely sure what she wanted, to be honest.

It is important to voice your feelings, Doctor Aurelius reminded her in the back of her head.

She knew that but…

There was also something, that itch at the back of her mind, telling her one simply did not share their feelings with Elindra Trinket. And yet…

Effie took a deep breath, gathering her courage, standing a bit straighter. "You can stay a little if you would like and I will come visit but…" She swallowed hard. "You cannot lie to me again. I… I am trying to build my life back from nothing, I need to be able to trust the people close to me."

Elindra studied her, lips pursed. "And you trust your victor."

"Above everyone else." she answered without a single second of hesitation.

"He is a drunk and a simple-minded brute from the worst District imaginable." her mother spat. "Entirely unsuitable as a prospect for you."

Effie bit her tongue to swallow back her instinctive retort and then realized she did not care to be polite and openly glared at her. "He is sober, would never hurt anyone he loves and he is the smartest man I know. Smart enough that he was invaluable to this war. As for where he comes from, I do not care, but if you must know I have seen Twelve and it is in ruins so some compassion wouldn't be amiss regardless of your personal feelings on the subject." She narrowed her eyes at her mother, tilted her head to the side and pursed her lips. "And we should establish right now that if you want to be part of my life, he is non-negotiable. I won't force you to like him but I expect you to be civil at the very least."

"You demand a lot." Elindra grumbled.

"I am simply telling you what I need." She shook her head. "It is your choice to try or not. The door is here. I know who I cannot live without."

Her mother was silent a long moment and then she snorted. "You might be even more stubborn than I am, you know." It almost sounded like a compliment so Effie relaxed a fraction. "I will make an effort to be civil if he does the same but I want you to swear to me that if he ever hurt you in any way, you will leave him."

"Haymitch would never hurt me." she retorted. It tasted like a lie because he had. He had told her as much. But he had never hurt her in her new life. Except for those weeks when he wouldn't come near her while she was awake but Finnick had managed to drive sense into him and… They were past that. Besides, she had the feeling her mother meant that literary, as if Haymitch would wake up one day and decided to beat her bloody. Which was insulting. "He told me the truth, you know." Her voice had lowered to a whisper. "I know our history was not always pretty… He told me everything. I love him, Mother. And he loves me."

Elindra still didn't look pleased. "Love is for children and foolish people. I have told you before." Her mother shook her head and started unbuttoning her coat. "But you were always a romantic."

Effie took that as a peace-offering and managed a small smile. "Is that a bad thing?"

"I do not know anymore. This war…" Elindra confessed, not looking at her as she laid her coat on the back of the couch. "Do you have a small child here?"

The abrupt change of topic made Effie frown and then groan when she spotted the items that had made Elindra ask. The pile of new books Haymitch had gotten for her. Children's books.

Shame licked inside her chest, making her cheeks flush crimson. "I… Haymitch has been teaching me how to read."

Her mother looked shocked. Her head turned abruptly toward her. "Do not be ridiculous, Effie, you know how to read. You were quite precocious with your reading, actually."

"Well, I don't anymore." She shrugged. "And I'm struggling a lot to relearn it. Haymitch says I'm improving but I don't know."

She had managed to read him one complete book the other day, stumbling every two syllables. A book with a giant font, that used very basic words and that was all about a moon traveling around the earth… The pictures were bigger than the text. It was humiliating no matter how supportive he was being.

But there was no point hiding it from her mother, was it? Everybody knew now. There was no more secret.

"We could hire a tutor." Elindra suggested. "Perhaps some professional help would be better than… I mean… I shudder to imagine what kind of education Twelve's offers."

"He's a great reader." Effie retorted, guarded again. "And it's awkward enough learning with people I know. I don't want to involve a stranger."

Elindra nodded her understanding but she was still studying her. "You need to work on your elocution, Euphemia dear. You keep switching between talking like a proper lady and this awful borderline District accent… Do you even realize?"

"I don't know." she admitted. "This place is doing things to my mind." And she didn't want to talk about any of it anymore. Hesitantly, she gestured at the bedroom. "I got my stuff from the penthouse back. I was sorting the dresses… Would you like to help?"

That seemed like something her mother would be good at and she could use the practical advice.

"Of course!" Elindra didn't beam because she didn't seem to be capable of doing something so plebeian but she appeared pleased all the same.

Thanks to her sorting, the bedroom was a mess again, but at least the bed was made.

"I made three piles." Effie explained. "The one on the bed is what I am keeping, the one of the left is the dresses I am not keeping but I think I can do something with the fabric and the one on the right I am getting rid of."

So far, it was the biggest pile.

"Euphemia…" Elindra looked truly shocked as she surveyed the different heaps of clothes – the dresses to sort were still on the floor in the corner. "This is couture!" Her mother took a deep steadying breath. "I know you do not remember, dear, but you do not treat couture this way. And why would you get rid of those dresses? Granted, you should only wear a dress once for a big event but… It is perfectly acceptable to wear it again in a smaller gathering or even in private. This is extreme."

She absorbed that information and tucked it away for later consideration. It meant she shouldn't wear the pink dress from Finnick's wedding for anything important again, didn't it?

"I don't want lacing or buttons." Effie explained. "And I'm thin, I need to be able to adjust them without them looking horrible afterwards…"

"What is wrong with lacing or buttons?" Elindra frowned, taking a seat at the foot of the bed. "Few of them will have zippers…"

"And few of them are meant for winter." She sighed with a discomfited wince. "I told you I struggled with some things. Knotting things and buttons are two of them. I can do it but it takes so long I would rather not deal with the hassle."

That was part of the reason why she was so happy to have this new collection of shoes. There were the occasional strings to knot or a small button but generally speaking it was all so much easier than the combat boots…

"Your winter clothes must be at your apartment…" Elindra mused. "We could go fetch them."

"My apartment?" she repeated. Haymitch had mentioned she had one, back in Thirteen. The plan had been to stay there originally, hadn't it? But they needed to stay close to the children and… She closed her eyes for a second, pressing her hand against her forehead, jaw clenched against the sudden spike of her headache.

"Effie?" her mother called, clearly worried.

"I am fine." She licked her lips, forcing herself to reopen her eyelids. "I do not think I want to go to my apartment just yet. I need to ask Haymitch."

Something flashed in her mother's blue eyes. "It is your apartment. You do not need his permission."

"No, of course not." She spared Elindra a short glare. "I just meant I do not know what state it is in… He can look into it. He found you for me, you know."

She didn't bother curbing the rebuke in her voice and her mother had the good grace to look chastised. "Your father can make inquiries about your apartment. No need for your victor to trouble himself."

"I'm still not sure I want to go now." she insisted. "The penthouse was… It was a lot." She shook her head, picking up the blue dress from where she had abandoned it on the bed, fiddling with it.. "It's so frustrating… I know I know things… I know it's right here in my head… But I can't remember and… Sometimes I think I do remember but then the memories slip away and I'm back where I started…"

"You told me you remembered some feelings…" Elindra asked, almost casually, as if they were discussing the weather.

"Feelings are easier than actual memories." She nodded, sitting down next to her mother on the bed. "I knew I trusted Haymitch immediately. I knew he would keep me safe. It was a new concept for me… Being safe. It took me longer to understand I loved him but it was there from the start too. And the children. I knew they were mine. Peeta even more than Katniss. The moment I saw him, I knew." She swallowed hard. "And I knew Johanna was linked to bad things. My body remembers. It is funny, isn't it? That the body has a memory?"

Her mother's hand hesitated and then landed on her leg. It was odd because for as smooth as her face looked, Elindra's hand was one of an old woman. "Dare I ask if we triggered any feelings?"

"Dread." she breathed out before she could think twice about it. "Anxiety."

Elindra was silent a long moment. "I see."

She winced. "I'm sorry."

"No, no…" her mother dismissed with a wave of her hand. "I should not be surprised. That shade of blue would be lovely on you. Are you keeping it?"

Effie glanced down at the dress pooled on her lap. "I am not sure. I think it will be a pain to make it fit me."

"Those are all too thin for the weather, anyway." Elindra professed, fingering the fabric. "Unless you plan to attend any cocktail party in the near future, they are not suited for everyday wear… If you do not feel ready to go to your apartment yet, I would suggest shopping for winter clothes but the streets are still not…" She sighed. "You could borrow some from Lyssa, though. She would not mind and she always was thinner than you, her clothes should fit you now."

She was fairly certain there was an insult in there but Effie let it go. "If you don't think she would mind… I can also use the fabrics from those dress to sew myself a few things, I think… I need to find more thread though… I'm almost out…"

"Sew yourself a few things…" Elindra muttered. "No child of mine is walking around in hand-me-downs. You will come to our house soon and Lyssa can lend you the bare necessities until we can take you shopping for proper winter clothes. Do you even have a coat?" She shook her head and her mother pursed her lips. "It is settled then. Lyssandra will be pleased to see you, in any case. She is not having an easy time."

Because her husband had been arrested, Effie reminded herself, trying to forget that her sister had subsequently tried to toss herself at Haymitch for a favor.

"How is she doing?" she asked, tossing the blue dress on the pile of potentially reusable fabric. "Did she get any news about… I forgot his name."

"Rufus." Elindra's face had gone hard but there was a hint of puzzlement in her eyes. "He was tried and executed. They do not give the bodies back usually but they made an exception for us. Your father seemed to think your victor was to thank. Hasn't he told you? I thought you must have convinced him somehow."

"No…" she hummed. But she wasn't surprised. When Haymitch did nice things, he didn't like to bring attention to them. He didn't do them for gratitude. "Is Lyssa…"

"She is devastated." her mother cut her off. "But being able to bury him properly helped. It was a quiet affair, naturally, family only." She seemed to realize Effie might take offense at that and made a small face. "We would have invited you to attend but we did not think…"

"That's quite alright." she promised quickly. The last thing she wanted or needed was to be forced to attend a stranger's funerals. She wouldn't have known what to do or how to behave. And it didn't feel fair to go to a stranger's funerals when Finnick or Prim hadn't gotten one. "How are the boys? I'm sorry I don't know their names…"

"The oldest one is Timotheo and the youngest is Bryden." Elindra told her with some obvious pride and affection. "It is hard on them, of course. We try to keep them busy."

"They seemed nice." Effie offered, a bit at a loss for what to say.

"They are." Her mother nodded. "I cannot tell you how much of a comfort it was to have them with us during this war… It is easier to keep a brave face when there are young children around, wouldn't you say?"

"I suppose." she said hesitantly. She didn't know.

She stood up abruptly and fished another dress from the heap. It was red and quite lovely. Bustier dress with a puffy bottom part… But thick bands of fabric crisscrossed on the back, it was clearly meant to be laced in…

Her mother outstretched her hand before she could toss it in the has-to-go pile and she passed it over, picking up another dress…

"Are you sure you want to get rid of this one?" Elindra asked, checking something on the inside of the dress. "It is from your friend's last collection, isn't it? You walked for her in it, if I remember correctly."

Effie wasn't sure what that meant. She had walked for her? For whom? "I don't…"

"Yes. There is it." Her mother showed her the discreet PR embroidered in golden letters just inside the bustier. "Portia Rose. She was a darling girl for someone with no proper upbringing. You brought her to Sunday lunch a few times before the Quell… I thought you might be dating her but she was committed to that Cinna fellow."

There were a lot of information in there.

"I dated women?" she asked uncertainly. That had never come up. Had it?

Her head was buzzing.

The itch…

"You date people." Elindra corrected. "No restriction on gender. I take it your victor has not explained that?"

Effie frowned and discarded the dress in her hand on the to-go pile. "To be fair, he did say my dating history was extensive… I suppose that explains some things, though." Like why she found some people more attractive than others, men or women. All things considered, it wasn't a huge adjustment. And it was quite irrelevant because… Well… She only wanted Haymitch, when it came down to it. "And this friend of mine… Portia… Where is she now?"

If they had been such good friends, maybe…

There was a flash of regret on her mother's face. Clearly, she had genuinely liked that Portia. "She was executed after the rebels kidnapped the victors. Although… From your point of view, I suppose that would have been a rescue."

Oh… So Portia was dead.

She took the red dress from her mother's hands and tried to feel… something.

But nothing came.

No matter how much she had cared for that woman, no matter how dear a friend she had been, she couldn't remember and so she felt nothing other than a small trace of sadness than anyone would lose their life so senselessly.

"You should try it on." Elindra encouraged. "You cared about her… It would not be right for you to get rid of the dress. You would want to have something to remember her by if you… Well, if you…"

"If I was myself." she finished quietly.

"You are yourself." her mother countered, a bit unexpectedly. "It does not matter if you have your memories or not. It does not even matter that you have forgotten all sense of manners and talk like you have been raised in an outer District. You are still headstrong, you still force yourself to smile when you do not want to upset someone's feeling even if you are upset yourself. You are still unforgivably smitten with that ridiculous man for reasons I will never understand. From your own account, you still dread being in my presence. You are still my daughter. You are not a different person."

It was one thing to hear it from Haymitch…

But she hadn't expected to hear it from her mother's lips.

Her eyes and the back of her throat burn with tears that she blinked back.

"I feel adrift sometimes." she whispered.

"That is not new, dear." Elindra snapped. "You have always been a dreamer and you have a bleeding heart. This world… This world is a cruel one. You were very good at pretending you liked it but, although you never confided in me, it was very obvious to me you struggled to find a place in it. One you could truly be happy with, at least."

She searched her mother's face but Elindra wouldn't meet her eyes. Her expression was closed, harsh.

"Haymitch grounds me." she confessed, trying to make her understand. "I am happy with him."

"Try on the dress." Elindra insisted. "Let's see what we can do with it. If we tighten the laces enough, it should fit."

Effie suspected her mother liked discussing feelings just as much as Haymitch did.

What did it say about her that she was surrounded by people who couldn't express properly how they felt?

She sighed but shed the woolen jacket and pulled her top over her head, not really caring that she didn't have a bra underneath. It was her mother after all and…

Maybe she should have cared because her mother gasped.

Instinctively, Effie hid her bare breasts with the red dress, immediately thinking it was her nudity Elindra was objecting to.

However, before she could apologize, her mother was standing right behind her, her hands hesitantly touching her back, running along the swollen ridge of a scar…

"What happened to you?" Elindra's voice was pained. She sounded…

Effie frowned, straining her neck to look at her over her shoulder, confused. "We told you… I was captured and…"

"Tortured." her mother spat, her breathing quick and a bit raw. "I thought you meant… Your head. I thought you meant…" Elindra's fingers were light as they ran across her mangled skin. "What did they do to you?"

"You're upset…" Effie whispered.

"You are covered in scars! Of course, I am upset!" Elindra shouted and then immediately curbed her voice into something softer, something more… controlled. "I apologize. A lady should never raise her voice. What happened to you, Effie? Do you… Do you remember?"

"My body remembers the pain…" she said carefully. She had told her before but clearly Elindra hadn't understood or realized that it was what she meant. "And I recall what happened but I do not have the memories, no."

"Tell me." Elindra demanded, curling her hands over her shoulders almost possessively.

"It did not help Haymitch to know the specifics." she cautioned. "He loves me so much it hurt him. If you love me too… I do not want to hurt you."

"You are my daughter, of course, I love you." her mother hissed. "Must we be so crass as District barbarians and express it every five minutes?" There was so much anger in her voice… But Effie didn't take it badly, somehow she knew the anger wasn't aimed at her. "Tell me."

"The scars are from whips." she explained quietly. And even conjuring the word was enough for her back to flare in pain. Licks of fire. That was what it had felt like. She might not remember but she knew and her body… Oh her body did remember the sensation. "There were bruises from fists. Some of the thinner scars are from knives. There were other things that didn't leave scars but I promise you don't want to know. I wish I didn't know." Of all the things to recall… She pursed her lips tight. "I was scared."

Elindra's fingers were digging hard in her bony flesh but one long breath from her mother and they suddenly loosened. She retraced one of the scars with her fingertips once more. "We will get you an appointment with my plastic surgeon. We will get rid of them. You will be as good as new."

"Oh… Is that an option?" she asked. Nobody had mentioned it to her.

"It might take a few sessions…" Her mother winced. "They look deep but, of course, it is an option. I will pay for the treatment. My treat."

She said that almost cheerfully.

"Thank you." Effie said automatically and then slipped the dress over her head. "I don't know if I want them gone. Haymitch says scars are proof we survived. And I'm not sure what kind of message that would send to the children… Katniss is badly burned, you know. There will be a lot of scars."

"I will pay for treatment for her too." Elindra said without missing a beat, pulling on the dress to help her. She immediately started lacing it up the back, tight enough that it wouldn't slip down. "Haymitch might do what he wants with his scars."

"I will think about it." she promised. She didn't want to pick a fight and her mother's nerves looked frayed. It was plain to see Elindra was upset but Effie wasn't sure what to say.

"There." Elindra declared once the dress was secured. "Lovely. It would need a gold necklace… Where do you keep your jewelry?" She spotted the collection on the dresser and went there directly. "Oh, and take off those leggings." By the time Elindra turned around with a selection of golden chains, Effie had kicked off the pants and tried not to be too self-conscious because… Her mother gasped again. "Goodness, Euphemia! I know you lost your memories but certainly you realize personal grooming is important."

Effie squirmed, trying to hide her hairy legs. "Haymitch forbade me from touching his razor."

Her mother pursed her lips tight. "Absolutely not. This is where I draw the line. I might come to accept you are committed to this relationship in time – after all, rebels are fashionable right now and he is popular enough that it might not be too much of a scandal – but this I refuse to accept. He will not turn you into one of those District cavewomen who are happy to keep their body hair because it keeps them warm in winter."

Elindra looked furious at the very thought.

It was almost funny.

"Well…" Effie was doing her best not to grin but it was hard and, eventually, she just let it go and smiled, eyes twinkling with amusement. "He doesn't really care one way or another, to be honest, but the reason he doesn't want me anywhere near his razor is because last time I shaved I cut myself a lot. A few cuts were deeps and it scared him. Shaving is not one of the things I remember how to do."

"Oh." Elindra deadpanned after a moment.

"Actually, I was hoping you might know a better method to…" she hesitated.

"Of course." her mother huffed. "Going to a salon is unfortunately as dangerous as going shopping, right now, but I will have them come directly to the house. How is that? I will also tell them to send someone for a manicure, you urgently need one. And a pedicure, that might cheer poor Lyssa up. Maybe some facials, that would be cheer me up." Elindra shot a long judgmental look to her hair. "How attached are you to that haircut? Because I do have a hairstylist on speed dial, dear."

"Haymitch likes my hair." She lifted a protective hand to her curls. "But… I guess some styling wouldn't be too bad…"

"It is settled, then." Elindra declared. "How about the day after tomorrow? Yes? Perfect. Now, try this golden necklace. And we need different shoes… The two shades of red are clashing together."

Her mother was a whirlwind but when it was about clothes and make-up and hairstyling she did know her stuff and… Effie had, dared she say it, fun.

When Haymitch appeared on the bedroom's threshold he was looking wary but he immediately relaxed when he heard her laugh out loud at something Elindra had said – granted she didn't think her mother had meant to be funny but…

"Everything's okay, sweetheart?" he asked, shooting Elindra a suspicious look.

"How do I look?" Effie laughed some more, twirling on herself so he could admire her. She was wearing a green dress made entirely out of lace that was doing a marvelous job of keeping her decent while showing everything she had. Her mother had pinned her hair up and insisted she needed to pair it with blue and silver stilettos…

"Gorgeous…" He smirked, his face softening into that fond expression she knew so well.

"You haven't even looked at the dress!" she chided, because his grey eyes had remained on her face.

"Don't need to." he replied, his smirk deepening when she tossed her arms around his shoulders to greet him with a kiss. From the corner of her eye, she saw her mother watch them with a blank mask. She told herself she didn't care and planted another long kiss on his lips, growing serious again. "What did the doctors say?"

He shot another look at her mother but then seemed to dismiss her entirely. "They're taking her out of the tank tomorrow. She's gonna be out of it for a while yet, they don't expect her to be lucid for a couple of weeks. And then…"

He didn't finish his sentence.

Effie cupped his cheek. She didn't like how worried he looked. "It's good news, Haymitch. She's doing better."

He shrugged. "Don't know where she's gonna be at mentally. Doctor Aurelius is taking charge of her case."

She nodded. That made sense. They all trusted Doctor Aurelius, even Haymitch and he didn't trust easily. "And Peeta?"

"Doctors are pleased with his progress but it's gonna be a long road to recovery." He sighed. "They're talking about maybe sending him to a clinic when everything calms down but I don't know. Capitols call them clinics but they're really looney bins and…"

"There are a few excellent discrete and remote clinics for mentally unstable people." Elindra cut in, even though nobody had invited her to.

"Yeah, well, I don't believe in sending my kids away." he growled, glaring at the woman. Effie placed a palm on his chest, her other arm still around his neck. He didn't look at her but, clearly, he took the warning for what it was and winced something that could have passed for apologetic expression. "Sorry."

It seemed to be very difficult for him to offer even that much.

Her mother pursed her lips but waved a hand. "No matter. I understand being worried about one's child but, sometimes, one has to do what is best for them even if it does not align with one's personal tastes." The look she shot him was meaningful. "Effie and I arranged some family time the day after tomorrow. I trust you can provide safe passage to our house for her. You will join us for dinner. Do try to find proper clothes, that washed-out grey really does nothing for you and it would upset my appetite." Haymitch opened his mouth but Elindra kept talking even as she walked out of the bedroom to grab her coat, not batting an eyelash at all at his shocked expression. "Euphemia and I agreed the two of us would be civil to each other so civil we shall be. After all, if you are to be my son-in-law, some semblance of family cohesion will be expected. Or were you simply joking about that to get a rise out of me?"

"No." Haymitch answered before Effie could. "I'm gonna marry her if she'll have me."

Elindra slipped on her coat, her blue eyes darting from him to her, her face unreadable. "I will not even bother to ask if you will have him, Effie dear, I have known the answer to that question since you were twelve years old." Her mother's gaze landed on her left hand. "If you are engaged, a ring would be appropriate."

"Ain't really like we can go shopping for diamonds right now." he pointed out, gritting his teeth.

Her mother pecked the air next to her cheek and then headed straight to the door but stopped briefly on the threshold and fixed Haymitch with a hard stare. "We will talk, you and I, when you come to dinner. In private."

Next thing they knew, her mother was gone leaving only a cloud of perfume in her wake.

"Ominous…" Haymitch muttered with a snort. "You think she wants to chop me off into tiny pieces and hid them in different spots?"

Her lips twitched at the joke but her eyes landed on the photo album Elindra had brought and something in her chest softened. "I think she does mean to try. She saw my scars. She was upset."

"Ah…" He looked awkward. "So we're thinking she has a heart after all?"

"Maybe." Effie whispered.

And maybe finding out was worth the headache.