A/N: I've been waiting to write this subplot. It's what Missy Paige deserves...Finally. "Turning water into wine," is today's spoof. You'll get it later on, I promise.
Change Happens
Chapter 29: Turning Wilder Into Wine
----July 28, 2012----
"Streamer!" Paige stood on a chair in the living room, holding out her hand. In a swathe of blue and white orbs, a pastel pink streamer appeared in her hand. She smiled pleasantly as she turned on the chair and proceeded to tie up the streamer.
Glenn scratched his head as he stapled the ends of a bouquet of balloons to the wall. "Isn't that personal gain?"
"Not when it's for my niece's birthday party," Paige replied without looking back. She hopped off the chair and placed her hands to her hips, smiling at the pink and lavender streamers that hung in waves from the ceiling. She'd been up since five in the morning to put them up. It was now almost noon. She turned to her husband, snickering as he yelped. "You should've been paying attention," she chided.
Glenn groaned as he began to suck on his bloody finger, which had taken a staple.
"Lets go get that cleaned up."
"Why can't Leo heal it?"
"Personal gain."
"But-"
"You did it to yourself," Paige snickered. She patted her husband's back lightly. "You're a big guy, you can handle a little peroxide."
"I hate you."
"You love me." Paige puckered her lips. "Especially when I do that thing you like. You know, the one with the whip cream and the-"
"Paige!"
Paige whirled around to see her sister, Piper, standing in the doorway with grocery bags on each arm, Prissandra on her hip, and Phiona at her side.
Paige's face began to illuminate a beat red. "Bloody finger! We gotta go!" She grabbed her husband's wrist and orbed out before Piper could protest.
Phiona watched as her aunt's last orb vanished, and then cocked her head. "Mom, what can you do with whip cream besides eat it?"
"Oh!" Piper cried, moving to the island with lightning pace. "Paige," she screamed, "I'm gonna kill you!"
----
"Uncle Darryl!" Pandora shrieked. She tore across the precinct, running straight into Darryl Moriss' arms.
"Hey kiddo," Darryl grinned. He swung the child around, before setting her down front and center on his desk. "I hear today's your birthday!"
Pandora face was practically glowing with pride. "Is it! Guess how old I am?"
"Hmm…" Darryl's brow twitched. "Can I count it on two hands?"
Pandora nodded her head vigorously.
The African American man flicked his fingers all. "Ten?"
Pandora giggled hysterically as she shook her head. "No!"
"Eight?"
"Nope."
"Seven?"
Pandora shook her head.
"Well I think you've got me fooled," Darryl frowned playfully. "Why don't you tell me?"
"Six!" Pandora stuck out her left hand, spreading all four fingers and her thumb apart. On her right hand, she extended her thumb.
"Wow!" Darryl enthused. "That's pretty big. Do you feel six yet?"
The little witch nodded proudly. "Are you coming to my birfday party?"
The Inspector frowned mournfully. "I'm sorry, sweetie. But Uncle Darryl has to work today. But guess what."
"What?"
"I did get you a present!" Darryl yanked on one of the golden handles on his desk, pulling out the bottom drawer. In it laid a large package wrapped in blue paper with small, pink birthday cakes on it, topped with a shiny golden bow. "I hope you like it."
Pandora screamed in delight. "Thank you, Uncle Darryl!" She stretched out her arms as far as they would go, and wrapped them around Darryl's waist.
Darryl Morris grinned as he hugged his partner's daughter in return.
"Well what do we have here?" Andy folded his arms in amusement.
"Look, daddy!" Pandora pointed to the open drawer. "I got a present!" Her blue eyes twinkled. "Can I open it?"
"Now?" Andy looked skeptical.
Pandora stuck out a lip. "He can't come to my birfday party."
"Well…" Andy shifted his weight to his left foot. "I suppose. But don't tell your mother."
"It'll be our little secret," Darryl promised. He grabbed the present and set it on the desk next to Pandora. After which, he flopped down into his chair and folded his arms.
Eagerly, Pandora yanked off the golden bow and tore off the birthday cake wrapping paper, revealing a bubblegum pink, Easy Bake Oven. "Daddy! Daddy, look! An Easy Bake!" She slapped the box wildly. "It's just like the one Marcy Louis has!"
Darryl winked at his partner. "Yeah, but I bet she didn't come with a blender." He pointed to the front of the box, where a bright pink star read, 'Limited time offer: FREE blender!'
"Ahh!" Pandora hugged the box. "Marcy is gonna be so mad!" Her blue eyes shimmered with delight.
"So are you going to make me something with it?" Darryl asked.
Pandora nodded enthusiastically. "I'm a gonna make you a chocolate cake," she announced proudly.
"Sweetheart," Andy gently intervened. "We should really leave Uncle Darryl to get back to his work, and we need to go pick mommy up from the store, okay?"
Pandora hugged Darryl's waist again. "Thank you!"
"Aww, you're welcome kiddo." Darryl patted the child's back, before setting her back on the floor. "Here, Andy." He handed over the Easy Bake Oven to his friend.
"Thanks," Andy answered sarcastically.
"Oh! Wait!"
"What?"
Pandora beckoned for Darryl to bend down to her eyelevel.
Darryl grunted as he squatted down before his best friend's daughter. "What can I do for you?"
"I wanted to give this to you." Pandora pulled a bright yellow, coned shaped hat with muti-colored party balloons from her head. "Here!"
Darryl held out his hand, stopping her from strapping the hat to his head. "But, uh, you're the birthday girl. You should wear it."
The telepath shook her head. "No no. I have a crown to wear. I boughted this one for you." She proceeded to yank down the elastic strap and secure it under Darryl's chin, strapping the cone shaped hat to his head. She beamed with delight. "I think you look pwetty, right daddy?"
Andy was struggling to hold the Easy Bake Oven and conceal his laughter. "Oh…yeah, definitely! Absolutely gorgeous, right honey?"
"Mhmm." Pandora was oblivious to the snickers which were now flooding the precinct as people began to notice Darryl. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a Barbie compact, which Prue had given her for her birthday. "Look, you can see how pwetty you are too."
Darryl took the mirror and plastered a false smile to his face as he looked at his ridiculous reflection. "Thanks," he groaned as he lightly touched the hat with his fingertips. He handed the compact back to Pandora.
"Okays, we gots to go!" She grabbed her father's hand and pulled him towards the door. "Bye Uncle Darryl!"
"Bye," Darryl droned. As they left, he slumped back into his chair in time with hysterical laughter throughout the precinct.
----
"Does the party really need pony rides?" Cole asked incredulously. He appeared to be brooding, as he stood in line with his wife.
"It's what Pandora wanted." Phoebe stifled a yawn as she peered out from her place in line, spying at least ten people in front of her. "And apparently a lot of other kids too," she sighed.
"I really think we'll be fine with what we have," Cole droned on. "We've already got the bounce house and the clown."
"Played by Leo!" Phoebe countered. "And let me just say that Leo is far better off as a guide. He'd never make it in the clown business." She folded her arms, looking quite formidable. "We have to get these ponies."
Cole moaned as he glanced down at his watch. "Phoebe-"
"Cole Turner," the psychic warned. "Remember that thing we were planning to do tonight?"
Cole's eyes widened. "You wouldn't!"
"I would!"
"Oh, Phoebe! Come on!"
"Cole."
The half demon glowered. "Fine," he growled. He turned away from his wife, staring angrily at the black and white clock on the wall.
----
Leo waddled around his and Piper's bed, nearly stumbling over his own two and a half feet long, red rubber shoes. His face was painted all in white paint, and two large stop sign red circles had been smeared smack dab in the center of his cheeks. He wore a rubber red nose, and baggy hot pink pants with red poka dots, that were so big they had to held up with red suspenders. His shirt was lemon yellow and lime green striped. He even had large white gloves covering his hands.
Leo crossed over to Piper's dresser, grabbing a crazy blue wig with tight curls. He yanked the wig over his head and stared dismally into the mirror. "If there was one thing in this world that I'm sure of, it's this: whitelighters are not supposed to be clowns." He waddled over to the bassinet in the center of the room, and peered over the edge. "So this is what I've gone through for your sister's happiness." His brows shot up. "What do you think?"
The five weeks, one day old infant stared wide eyed for a minute. Then her face suddenly scrunched into a bout of tight wrinkles and turned bright red, before she began to wail in fight.
Leo, taken completely by surprised, stumbled backwards and landed roughly on his bum. He cursed under his breath before yelling at the top of his lungs, "Piper!"
----
Prue rounded the corner, coming down the isle stocked with a mind boggling amount of diapers. "It's been forever since I was here," she sighed.
Persia crossed her arms, amused. "When were you here last?"
Prue grinned, glancing up at the top shelf. "It was quite a few years ago. Thirteen or fourteen, I guess."
"Wow."
"I know! I didn't know squat about babies, but we had this little boy we were taking care of. An innocent, actually. His name was Matthew. This unsettling ghost was trying to kill all the males in his family, because his grandmother killed him due to his obsession with her." She shrugged. "Anyway, the first time I was here…" She glanced around quickly and then squinted her eyes at the top shelf, telekinetically pushing a package of infant diapers over the edge. "I had to get some of these things," she held up the package, "and I got some that were like…three sizes too big."
Persia laughed.
"And I spent waaaay too much money doing it." Prue turned to her basket and dropped the package inside.
"Did you ever think you'd have kids of your own?"
Prue shrugged. "After we saved Max, I knew I eventually wanted kids. I also knew I wanted them with Andy. He died not too long after that, and by the time we helped Matthew, I didn't think I'd ever find someone I wanted to have children with."
"Didn't you date after him?"
"Oh sure!" Prue pushed the basket down the isle. "I was dating this guy named Jack when I we helped Matthew. But he was more of a guy who I dated to pass the time, and we both knew it. He knew I eventually wanted a family, and I knew he just wanted to party and date."
"What do you think you would've done if Uncle Andy hadn't of come back?"
Prue shrugged, turning down an isle stocked with baby and parenting books. "I have no idea." She pursed her lips. "And every morning that I get up and find him sleeping next to me, I thank whatever power is out there that I don't have to think about that." She edge up to the counter, surprised to find no line.
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay. It's an honest question, and I don't mind answering." Prue smiled as she pulled a pink blanket out of the basket, followed by the package of diapers, and pacifier.
"Will that be all for you today?"
Prue nodded as she reached into her purse and pulled out her credit card.
----
"Oh my gosh!" Pearl loomed near the entrance to the kitchen, hugging her stomach. "That smells so good!"
Piper grinned pleasantly, as she spread another spatula of pink icing over her niece's two layer cake.
"And it looks so professional."
"Thanks." Piper smoothed out the icing. "You know, before I got P3, I always dreamed of becoming a chef."
Pearl laughed as she moved towards her aunt, admiring the perfection of the birthday cake. "Like mother like daughter."
"What're you talking about?"
"Phiona's always talking about how much she loves cooking," Pearl explained. "She says she plans to own a restaurant one day."
"It's a risky business," Piper sighed heavily. She grabbed a tube of icing and began to decorate the edges of the double layer cake in rippled, white cream frosting.
"Is that why you never got one?"
"Partially." Piper turned the cake around. "It was also too expensive. Phoebe and Prue had to sacrifice a little to just get me the club."
Pearl smiled sadly. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry!" Piper turned the cake again. "I love the club, don't get me wrong. I just miss all the cooking that goes along with a restaurant." She motioned towards a sifter on the edge of the counter. "Can you pass that over here?"
"Mhmm." Pearl grabbed the sifter and passed it to her aunt. "What's that for?"
Piper set down the white icy and held the sifter over the cake. She poured an eighth of a cup of powdered sugar into the silver utensil and began to sprinkle it over the top layer of the cake, and the edges of the bottom layer that poked out from the top. "It's to help make a cool little design to the cake. It gives it texture and color."
"Aunt Piper!"
Startled, Piper dropped the sifter and powdered sugar flew through the air as the sifter pummeled towards the cake. Without even lifting a finger, everything in the room minus the witches themselves, froze. Piper left out a small gasp as she moved back from the frozen white cloud. She plucked the sifter from the air and set it cautiously on the counter and slid the cake away from underneath the sugar cloud.
"Pam," she said slowly. "You can't just startle people like that." She moved across the kitchen, grabbed the garbage can, and moved back to the sugar cloud. Piper positioned the garbage can under the cloud and stepped back, unfreezing the powdered sugar. Most of it, as she'd predicted, fell into the trash. Some, however, flitted through the air and dusted the counter and floor in a layer of white.
Pam frowned. "I just wanted to tell you that the bounce house guys are here."
"Really?" Pearl's eyes lit up. "Yes! I've been waiting for that! I haven't been in one of those since the last circus!"
"They're in the living room, talking to your mom."
"Oh! Lets go see if we can watch them set it up!" Pearl grinned, jolting across the kitchen and passed Pam, disappearing into the next room.
"Do you want to come too?"
Piper shook her head and motioned to the cake. "I've still got quite a lot of work ahead of me," she sighed.
"Oh. Okay." Pam waved slightly. "I'll see you later."
"See ya, kiddo." Piper flipped around to the kitchen as her niece left, looking at the powdery mess. "It would happen to me, wouldn't it?" She glanced at the cake, which had been saved from the brink of catastrophe. This time, she quietly reminded herself.
----
Paige unscrewed the dark blue bottle cap from her Dasani water bottle, and placed the neck of the bottle to her bright red lips. She half smiled over the top of the bottle at the man in front of her, who was dressed in a grungy blue work suit. "So yeah, it can go right out in the backyard." Paige lifted her hand, pointing through the kitchen. "It's right out there. When you walk in, the only door you see is the one that will lead you out there."
"Thanks," the man replied gruffly.
"Can we watch?" Pamela blinked brightly at the man, stopping him dead in his tracks. "Sure," he groaned.
Pam turned to Pearl, high fiving her. "We'll be the first ones in," she whispered.
"This way, guys!" The man, probably in his late fourties or so, motioned to his workers to follow him through the Manor.
Paige twirled the blue cap in her hands as she watched her daughter and niece, followed by the men in blue suits, disappear into the kitchen. As she was about to place the water bottle back to her lips, she saw her sister walk into the room. "Hey, Piper. You done with the cake?"
"No, not by a long shot. But I just realized I'm out of lavender icing, and so I was on my way up to ask Leo if he could stop by the bakery and pick me some up." As Piper reached the stairs, she heard her sister intake sharply.
"Piper!" The Dasani bottle dropped from Paige's hands as she threw out her arm in her sister's direction. The glow of a pyrokinetic blast literally glinted off her whiter than snow skin. She felt the water splash coldly against her bare legs as she opened her mouth to call for the fire blast.
Piper turned around. Before her mind could even think of freezing the cackling flames, she involuntarily clamped her eyes shut as she felt the impending heat on her skin. Then she felt her body flying up the stairs and smacking harshly into the steps with a bone crunching smack. It had definitely not been what she expected. When she opened her eyes, she found herself soaking wet. Her eyes lifted up and to the side, staring at her baby sister, who still had her arm outstretched. All she could say was, "What the hell?"
TO BE CONTINUED….
