"Yes, I know I left him alone… I had two emergencies…Cameron and Foreman really need my help here…Yes, they are both critical…Okay, as soon as I'm done. Thanks."
"House always ignores Cuddy's pages." Foreman observed with amusement. "I think he likes her verbal abuse in person. He secretly loves dominant women."
"Yeah, well I'm not in the position to ignore my boss' boss. I'm not that far up the food chain yet." Chase knew it was wise not to ruffle any feathers.
Foreman continued his enjoyment. "You are too much of a people pleaser that likes to avoid conflict. House seeks conflict out as if it were a sweet chocolate dessert. To him, it is better than sex."
"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind." Chase didn't want to think about his boss' sick habits anymore and changed the subject. "Anyway, I see you have some ideas for your patient." He noticed the new scribbles on the white board.
"Shouldn't we wait for Cameron? She would have some wonderful immunology insights."
"She is doing a chest x-ray on her patient and will be along soon."
Foreman started reading the possibilities, although they were remote. "Lymphadenitis, cat-scratch disease, sarcoidosis, herpes…"
"Candidiasis?" Chase figured anything was on the table at this point.
"The culture of the tongue didn't come up with any yeast bacterias. We must be overlooking the obvious." Foreman recognized the futility of their exercise and went back to the symptoms on the board. "Flu symptoms, swollen and white spotted tongue, swollen lymph nodes."
"You are overlooking the most obvious thing." Cameron arrived with her x-rays in tow. "Have you done an HIV test?"
Chase and Foreman looked at each other completely flabbergasted. How could they miss something so obvious?
Cameron understood why it wasn't covered before. "Many people don't want to consider that as a cause. House didn't want to consider it because it was too boring."
Foreman was pleased that at least one of them was able to come up with something. "His personal history didn't give us a reason to suspect that, but it does make sense. I'll run the test." He noticed the x-ray in Cameron's hand. "I see you brought us a picture to look at."
"Pulmonary edema caused by acute respiratory distress syndrome." Cameron put the x-ray up on the board for all to see.
"That's a side-effect of the neutropenia." Chase observed accepting the most obvious reason.
"That is the likely cause," added Foreman, "but it could also be related to a subarachnoid hemorrhage somewhere in the brain. She is very prone to that as well. I suggest an LP to rule that out."
Chase wanted to be sure they weren't stepping on Cameron toes. "It's your call, will the mother agree to such a procedure?"
"She will agree to anything that will help her daughter. I agree with Foreman. Only one of us can do an LP though."
All eyes focused on Chase. He offered a frustrated glance in return, one of a doctor that was going in too many directions right now. "Okay, let me know when. I'm sure I can squeeze it in between everything else."
Since Chase was feeling some frustration, he decided it was the best time to bring up something else with Cameron. "So what is up with the mother that I need to talk to her about?"
Cameron lowered her head feeling ashamed. "Uh, she doesn't have confidence in my abilities to offer proper choices based on faith. She wanted to run the concerns by someone who would understand her questions."
"So, you just happened to mention my religious background?" Chase was rather annoyed. "You have a far greater moral ground than I do. You couldn't convince her that your choices would be completely ethical?"
"I thought I was doing well until the believing in God question came up. She didn't like the fact that I didn't. All she needs is a little scripture thrown her way and she will be fine."
"What was wrong with Foreman? He grew up in a family that went to church every week."
"He didn't attend the seminary. You are better with all those spiritual notions when it comes to death and dying." Cameron knew what she said was inappropriate, but she didn't know how else to put it. This was not her area of expertise.
Chase couldn't believe what he was hearing. Sure, Cameron was spiritually ignorant, but this time she went too far. "Spiritual notions? It's never that easy. She will likely be asking the very tough questions that can hamper the objectivity that a doctor is supposed to bring. Too many medical professionals are being asked these days by patient's families to perform actions that are in conflict with fundamental healing traditions in exchange for Christian conscience. None of us should be asked to do that, especially those of us that have a Christian background."
"I'm not enough of an expert in that area to convince her otherwise." Cameron argued. "You just need to talk with her. Convince her our intentions are true."
Chase took a moment to quietly stir his objections amongst himself and eventually relented. "I'll see what I can do. Is there anything else?"
Cameron dropped her head, thus acknowledging there was one other issue. Chase raised his eyebrows, eagerly waiting to hear what possibly could be next.
"She wants us to find a way to get her daughter out of the coma." Cameron announced shyly.
"What did you tell her?" Chase and Foreman were now at full attention, curious to hear the answer.
"I told her we would treat the infections first and then would consider those options if she is still in the coma by that time."
Chase was actually impressed by that answer. "Good stall tactic. House would have been mad at hell at you, but given the recent circumstances, we need to buy some time."
"There are several studies regarding methods in waking patients from comas," an intrigued Foreman noted, "but I'm not sure if any apply to her type of injury. I'll have to do some research."
"You'll find a lot of therapeutic nihilism." Chase knew a bit about the controversies of the subject.
Cameron and Foreman both shared puzzled looks.
"It all came about with Karen Ann Quinlan. Her brain injuries were beyond hope and her feeding tube was removed. Many health professionals believe this has led doctors to abandon severely brain-injured patients too quickly, therefore statistics show that these patients aren't getting better. Families and doctors both now give up believing there is no hope, a phenomenon labeled therapeutic nihilism. The argument is that these patients deserve better therapeutic engagement but they aren't getting it."
"Do you possibly want to offer that kind of hope? That kind of thinking misleads people into believing their loved ones will be back to normal someday." Cameron was always outraged by physicians using research as false hope. It drove her crazy whenever House tried it.
"If the proper expectations are set, there should be no controversy," countered Chase. "Anyway, we can address that later. Let's deal with what we must now. I've got to get back to the ICU. Page me if you need me. Please try to avoid House for right now."
Cameron again followed Chase into the hallway. "I'm really sorry Chase. She had me backed into a corner. You know how this God stuff freaks me out."
"You forget it freaks me out too. Just because I'm well educated in doctrine doesn't mean I can share in their faith and beliefs. That makes me irresponsible."
"I'm not asking you to share. Just show a little empathy, that's all."
"I have a feeling she will want more than empathy. I'll see what happens." He abruptly ended the conversation by walking away.
"Thank you!" Cameron shouted using a smoothed over approach.
-------------------
House saw his best buddy drag himself into the ICU much like a drunk that was coming off an all-night bender. "You look terrible."
"Thank you for noticing." Wilson sat down in his usual uncomfortable chair by the bed.
"Let me guess. You have been holding vigil by my bedside the last few days while trying to do your job."
"Yep, I'm a sick bastard, aren't I? You're welcome by the way." Wilson noticed House busily tapping away at the portable computer in front of him. "Why do you have a laptop?"
"Cuddy let me have one. I knew she was sweet on me."
"Not how, why? Let me guess, you told her your lie about myspace."
"Research for Cameron's case."
"Cameron asked you to do this?" Wilson asked skeptically. He knew better.
"Nope, she has no idea I even know about this."
"Can't Cameron, or anyone on your team, do their own research?"
"Cuddy is in charge of them right now. I'm sure she is working them to death. They will be down here in no time begging me to come back so the department will go back to its slow pace." House never stopped his searching while talking to Wilson.
"I suppose it is foolish of me to warn you to not get on Cuddy or Cameron's bad side. You'll wish those bullets did their ultimate job."
"Thank God I have a wimp like Chase to run interference. I'll blame him."
"Gee, everyone will be so glad you are better. It must be your warm and fuzzy personality. I'm going to read my paper and ignore you now." Wilson snapped open his paper and leaned himself back in the chair.
House said nothing, too engrossed with his online search. No more time for banter with Wilson right now.
----------------------------
"Mrs. Harris?" Chase asked as he entered the private room where the meeting was arranged.
"Dr. Chase, thank you for taking time to speak with me. I don't like to waste time, so I will get right to the point. I like Dr. Cameron very much, but she is an agnostic. I'm not sure if she will understand our wishes when hard decisions must be made."
"I'm probably not the best person to talk to about this. I may have been raised Catholic, but I haven't been practicing for a while. I also don't like to consider Christian values in making medical decisions."
"So, you have been questioning God?" she asked.
Chase was confused by her observation, but decided to play along. "Yes."
"That's good. God loves it when we question. It means we are willing to grow. What is your specialty?"
"I'm an intensivist."
"A fascinating choice. You care for critically ill patients on a daily basis, don't you? Amidst all the suffering and uncertainty, it's is your job to make people as comfortable as possible and when necessary perform life saving procedures. At least 30 percent die, don't they?"
Chase nodded, still very uncertain what this woman wanted from him.
"I can tell that despite all that pain, you love your job. Deep down you believe you were meant to do this and are making a difference."
"Mrs. Harris, if you are worried that we won't do everything for your daughter..."
"I saw you with Emily earlier. I'm not looking for Christian rights when treating my daughter. If anything, I want the opposite. I want heroic measures, consequences be damned. When a physician presents me with the life or death decisions, I want to know that he or she is concerned with both the physical and spiritual well being of my child. Too many doctors only care about the physical and do not personalize. I have a hunch you do your best to hide it, but you do personalize. You do care."
"Being too personal is a sure sign of burnout in this profession."
"No one can do your intense job without God in their heart, or that person would either be so overwhelmed by sadness they couldn't function or would get kicked out for not helping people. I saw how urgent it was to you to save Emily's life. That action deeply mattered because she was a real person to you. The other doctors don't act that way. That is the full faith of God working through you and I think you know that.
"You are wrong. God has turned his back on me." Chase wasn't sure why he was divulging such information, but he hoped it would deter her.
Mrs. Harris bowed her head and started praying. "My good angel, you come from heaven; God has sent you to take care of me. Shelter me in this present night; enfold me under your wings; lighten my heavy task; direct my steps." She deliberately stopped there and looked up at a very stunned Chase.
"Do not leave me, be near me, defend me against the spirit of evil. But above all, come to my aid in the last struggle of my life. Deliver my soul so that with you it may praise, love and contemplate the goodness of God forever and ever. Amen." Chase could never forget the words to the prayer that offered him so much comfort during the rough moments growing up.
Mrs. Harris smiled and tears welled up in her eyes when Chase finished the prayer.
"I haven't recited that prayer in years," Chase reflected with sadness. "How did you know…"
"Now I know that God sent us the right person. When the time comes, you know that the angels are there to protect Emily. That's what makes you fearless in the times of crisis. If you tell me it is time to stop fighting, then I know you are speaking with mercy. If you tell me that something will give her another shot at life, albeit a diminished one, I know that you present that option with faith."
"You are asking me to lose my objectivity as a doctor. My faith isn't as strong as you hope. That isn't fair to you or your daughter."
"You will never let anything bad happen to her, so that is objective enough for me. Don't worry, you have not been forgotten. Let go of the fear. I don't care if you say your prayers everyday, go to church every week, or live morally or amorally. That is not faith. It comes from the inside and your soul is abundant. You will not let us down. God bless you Dr. Chase."
Chase stood completely bewildered as she left the room. What just happened here? If he didn't know better, Mrs. Harris was trying to save his soul.
----------
Cameron found a very pensive Chase in the doctor's lounge. He was a million miles away in thought and didn't notice her.
"So, how did it go?" Cameron asked very cautiously.
"Fine." Chase was unconvincing.
"Judging by your reflective mood, I would say it didn't go fine."
"It's cool now. We had our talk and now we have an understanding."
"Then why are you so freaked out? I'm thinking the understanding is less than settling."
"I can't talk about it right now." Chase wanted to be evasive. "Did you tell her that I was in the seminary once?"
"No, I didn't mention that. She said something that bothered you, didn't she?"
Chase sat silently and would neither confirm nor deny her question.
Cameron leaned over and her eyes met his. "Chase, are you okay?"
"It's nothing, just let it go."
Cameron was concerned, but knew it was never a good idea to push. "Okay, I'll back off. Do you know where Foreman is?"
"He left already. I think he was getting together with his lady friend."
"Doesn't that seem so cute? I wonder where he found time to meet someone."
"He had a brush with death and some time off. That would inspire me to make some calls." Chase did not want to engage in small talk. Cameron was becoming more of an agitation by the minute.
"I don't think Foreman has anywhere near as many phone numbers as you do," Cameron teased. "I'm surprised you haven't been making calls lately."
"What makes you think I haven't?"
That was the rise that Cameron was hoping for. "Chase, ever since you became an attending you have been a humorless wreck. You have not been making calls."
"Yeah, well, I've had a lot on my mind."
"We all have, but that isn't stopping Foreman."
"Since when have you been concerned with my well being?" Chase now used a defensive tone. "Are you actually feeling guilty for setting me up? Maybe you should be taking your own advice."
Cameron flashed Chase a 'get real' look. He knew what happened the last time she made a call. "You and I have been through more than two people should have to put up with lately. We need a small break. I am accepting your offer for a drink now."
Chase rolled his eyes backward, very unsure as to why Cameron was doing this to him now. He responded to her invitation in a very tired voice. "I'm not in the mood right now."
"Come on, one beer. It will be two colleagues having a drink after work. We can complain about people. It will be fun."
"Sorry." He got up acting very uptight, grabbed his bag briskly and left, leaving Cameron behind rather surprised. That was the first time she heard Chase say no to a social invitation. Something was deeply bothering him.
A/N: Did I make Cameron enough of a weak manipulative bitch? That was the intention, but if I was too subtle or not subtle enough, let me know. I really want to show her ignorance on cases where there are no fine lines. Also, I will take suggestions on who Chase should call eventually (I'll consider anyone, even Cameron, but be warned, I don't do slash). The poor boy needs relief! Thanks for reading!
