6

Gil watched his wife with some concern as he pulled the car into their driveway. "Cath? Honey?"

She turned to look at him. "Yeah?"

He parked the car and undid his seatbelt. Reaching over, he took her hand. "How are you doing?"

Catherine plastered a smile on her face as she undid her seatbelt with her free hand. "Fine. A little tired."

"I know it's hard, Cath. It's hard for all of us."

She squeezed his hand. "Really. I'm fine. What's a month?"

Gil narrowed his eyes. Somehow, he didn't quite believe her happy act.

"MOMMY!"

Lizzie came racing out of the house, Matt holding firmly to her little hand. Lindsey followed, with Jamie resting on her hip.

"Hey, guys." Catherine got out of the car, giving each of her children a hug. "It's so great to be home."

"We missed you, Mommy," Matt said, hugging her leg tightly.

"I missed you all too," she told them.

"Mommy never go away again," Lizzie decided adamantly.

Catherine chuckled. "I'll do my best, honey."

Jamie looked earnestly around. "Baby?" he asked hopefully.

Catherine's face fell and she lifted him into her arms. "Max has to stay in the hospital for a little while, sweetheart."

"No baby?"

"He's up at the hospital, Jamie," Gil reminded him. "Remember, we went and saw him."

"Baby come home soon?"

Gil took Jamie from Catherine's arms. "Very soon." He turned to Lindsey. "Can you help your mom upstairs?"

"I'm fine," Catherine said quickly, kissing each of the kids and making her way inside. "Just fine."

--

In the middle of the night, Gil rolled over in his bed to find Catherine's side empty and cold. He frowned, and got out of bed, going in search of his wife.

He checked in on Lindsey first, who was sound asleep. Matt was asleep in his room, and Jamie, who had been transplanted into Matt's room until Max could sleep through the night, was also asleep. Lizzie was snoring softly in her bedroom.

Finally he went into the nursery, sighing softly when he saw Catherine in the rocking chair. She was watching the crib, her hand resting on her abdomen.

"Cath?"

She looked up at him and smiled faintly. "Hey. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You didn't," he replied, coming closer. "Everything okay?"

Catherine sighed. "The usual problem with giving birth. Your body gets ready to feed the baby, but the baby isn't here."

Gil tenderly caressed her leg. "Is there anything I can do?"

She shook her head. "I expressed. They don't hurt as much now."

"He's safe, Catherine."

"He's not here, though."

"But he will be…"

"I feel like a failure."

Gil's eyes widened and he moved to sit in front of her. "What? Why do you feel like a failure?"

"I couldn't…" She took a deep breath. "I couldn't hold onto him. I needed to wait only another four weeks…and then he might have been okay. Might have been allowed to come home."

"Catherine, he's healthy. Even the doctor and nurses said that. They just want him to gain a little more weight before he comes home. It's just four weeks."

"But he's up there…alone because of me."

Gil got up and carefully lifted her into his arms. "He's not alone, Cath. He's being looked after really well, and he knows that we love him. And we can go visit him everyday, Catherine. Hold him everyday. And very soon we can bring him home." He gently placed her onto their bed, slipping in beside her and covering them with the blankets. "As for you, my darling, you need to get some rest." He kissed her softly and wrapped his arms around her. "Okay?"

Catherine nodded, snuggling closer. "Can we go visit him tomorrow?"

Gil grinned. "Absolutely."

"Love you, Gil."

He kissed her again. "I love you too, Catherine. Oh, and by the way…"

'Mhm?"

"I like having you here, back in our bed, to hold and snuggle to."

Catherine smiled. "I'm glad to be back here too." She kissed his chest and closed her eyes.

Gil stayed awake for a little longer, watching over his wife and thinking about his new baby son. And he really hoped that 4 weeks was going to go by in a flash.

--

Two weeks had passed since Max's birth, and every day had seen Catherine at the hospital. Even on the days when Gil had to work, she would be up at the hospital, taking her son in her arms and holding him.

She'd talk to him, sing to him, tell him how much everyone loved him. And every night she'd go home and try to adjust to his not being there.

"Mommy sad," Lizzie remarked to her father one day.

"She just misses Max," Gil explained, lifting his daughter up. "Just like we all do."

"Then why doesn't she play with us no more?" Matt asked, racing his car around the toy raceway. "She used to play with us all the time!"

"Well," Gil said, looking at his son, "Mommy thinks it's her fault that Max can't come home right now. But it's not."

"Then why does she think it is?"

Gil sat down on the couch. "Sometimes Mommy's love their children so much, that they think if anything goes wrong, it's their fault."

"How can we make her feel better?"

Gil smiled. "Just by loving her, and being understanding. Giving her lots of hugs."

Catherine came into the living room at the moment, and was besieged with hugs from Matt and Lizzie. "Well…hi guys."

"We love you, Mommy," Lizzie told her.

"I love you guys too," Catherine replied, glancing over at Gil.

He grinned innocently at her.

--

"Can I mash 'tato?" Lizzie asked.

"You stick your hands all in it!" Matt told her.

"I clean 'em first!"

Gil groaned. "Okay, guys, we're here to make Mommy dinner, not to argue. Right Lindsey?"

Lindsey looked over at her father, with an amused smile on her face. "Whatever you say, Dad."

Gil rolled his eyes at her. "Big help you are." He turned to the assembled children. "Okay. What do you guys want to make Mommy for dinner?"

"Chocolatey cake," Lizzie announced.

"Yeah!" Matt agreed.

"Well, that's a nice thought, but Mommy needs to have real dinner before dessert."

"Ice cream first?"

"How about spaghetti?" Lindsey suggested. "It's not too hard to make."

"Slurpee!" Jamie was quite happy to comment on his favourite food.

"Good," Gil nodded. "Spaghetti it is then." He surveyed his kitchen and took a deep breath, hoping it would still look okay once the kids had finished cooking.

--

"Afternoon, Mrs. Grissom," a nurse said, seeing Catherine at the door to the nursery. "I bet I know who you're here to see."

Catherine smiled. "How is he doing?"

"Very well," the nurse replied. "He's put on some more weight, and he's just woken up from a nap. I bet he'd love to see you."

Catherine went into the room and smiled as she saw Max in his crib. "Hi, handsome."

Max looked up at her, his little eyes wide and she lifted him into her arms, settling down on a nearby chair.

"You're doing so well," she murmured, looking down at him. "Mommy will be able to take you home soon."

"At the rate he's progressing, he should be home in two weeks," the nurse told her.

"Has he been taking the breastmilk?" Catherine asked, caressing his soft little cheek.

The nurse nodded. "He's a greedy little guy. I don't think he's going to provide any problems."

Catherine took Max in her arms, letting the nurse help undo the top few buttons of her shirt, so Max could cuddle up to his mother's skin.

"Dr Grad will be sending in a lactation nurse tomorrow. We thought it might be time to see if Max will breastfeed," the nurse told Catherine. "With the kangaroo care you're giving him, plus the fact he's growing so well, we shouldn't have too many problems."

"I'd like that," Catherine murmured, nuzzling her son's skin. "I feel like I've missed out on so much."

The nurse nodded. "But technically, when you think about it, you weren't supposed to meet him for another two weeks anyway."

Catherine grinned. "That's certainly true." Her fingers tickled Max's tummy. "You were just impatient, right?"

Max yawned and closed his eyes.

--