I was floating around in the Other Place when I felt the hooks of a summon. I went without resistance. I turned into a rather large giant with on eye, with spikes on its leg. The magician was Babylonian. He was in the pentacle while a group of magicians stood behind him. Far behind him. Obviously they were scared of me. That's good.
"Bartimaeus, I have summoned you to go on a diplomatic mission," the man said.
"Another assassination?" I sighed. That's generally what Babylonian magicians meant by "diplomatic missions".
"Yes. We want you to slip arsenic into Sennacherib's, the Assyrian King, food. He will be having a banquet tonight," the man said arrogantly.
"What did he do to you?" I asked them, raising my eyebrows. Actually, eyebrow. Remember, I was a Cyclops.
"Just go, demon," the man said, anger in his voice.
"Alright, no need to hurt anyone's feelings," I said. I grinned
and poofed off.
-- -- -- --
I watched the guests walk into the entrance of the banquet. I couldn't just walk in. I counted at least 30 spirits. At least half of those were Afrits. The rest were djinn. If I was going to give the poisoned food to the king, I would have to go through the Nineveh Royal Kitchens anyway. I sighed and went behind the building. I easily discovered the entrance to the kitchen. I took the guise of a servant boy and walked in. There was a long line awaiting me.
"Hey you!" I shouted to the boy in front of me. "What's going on?"
"A chef's checking the food for poison!" the boy said. "This is exciting!"
A chef. No doubt a spirit. I was about to slink off when the chef noticed me and my tasty calves'-fat trifle.
"You, boy, come here," he said. I checked on all seven planes. It was a djinni. I knew him by reputation. His name was Faquarl of Sparta. Of course, my reputation is still much more interesting then his. Faquarl was no soubt checking the planes. He took on look at my meal and looked at me. I grinned, dropped the plate and ran. He chased me through the hall. I ducked behind a table and picked up food and began to toss it at Faquarl. After a while food began to come my way too. I picked up a ham bone. I looked over the table and saw Faquarl standing in plain sight standing behind nothing. I threw the bone at his head and it hit with a loud klunk. It was quite amusing actually, but I wasn't exactly in the mood to laugh. I raced through the hall to the banquet. I saw Sennacherib and aimed a detonation at the wooden plank hanging above him. I shot it out and the plank landed on Sennacherib. I didn't have time to check if he was dead. Anyway, my mission was complete, my masters had wanted me to put arsenic in his food, but their main instructions were to kill Sennacherib. Faquarl had already gotten up and was shooting infernos at me. He was still far behind though. I turned into a falcon and shot into the dark night. As I landed on the building where my masters were I looked back to make sure Faquarl had not followed me.
"Too close," I said to myself.
As I walked into the building I felt proud. You know, not many djinni are as smart as me.
