I Tried to Be Chill (but you're so hot I melted)
dls

Summary:

"I just...haven't considered I'd be open to something like that, you know? But Stephen changed my mind."

"As long as you're happy, Tony, I'm happy."

Or: 5 Times Tony Stark's Friends Thought He was Dating Stephen Strange and the 1 Time They Realized He was Dating the Sorcerer Supreme.


One.

With two milkshakes tucked into the crook of his elbow and a takeout bag clutched in each hand, Bruce was just about to ask FRIDAY to let Tony know that lunch was ready when the earsplitting volume of AC/DC was shut off abruptly.

Through the glass doors leading into the workshop, Bruce could see Tony scowling at the corner camera at the interruption before the frown was replaced by a wide grin. So whatever news FRIDAY had wasn't related to the Accords revisions then.

It had been nearly three months after the so-called Superheroes Civil War and seven weeks since Bruce had seen the news of Tony's hospitalization, made a new crater in the remote mountains of Mongolia, and found his way back to New York.

Not to demand answers but to offer his support and apologize for his absence; the Hulk's disappearance after Sokovia had been cited as one of the reasons for the Accords. Bruce had swallowed his discomfort, testifying in front of the United Nations committee about Maximoff's involvement in Johannesburg and Ross' history of unethical treatment of enhanced beings, all the while worrying that his efforts were too little, too late.

Tony had merely shrugged and replied that it was better late than never with the kind of easy forgiveness that Bruce didn't deserve but would try to earn. The same way he would earn back Tony's friendship, that he had once slept through and left behind.

Which was why he was here, outside of Tony's workshop with the greasy burgers and curly fries and mocha milkshakes Tony loved. The beef patties had been switched with turkey but he doubted Tony could tell with the amount of cheese.

Except Tony was shutting down his work with a speed he usually reserved for emergencies.

"Everything okay?" Bruce asked when the doors slid open.

"Yep, just forgot I have a doctor's appointment." The way Tony said the last two words sounded like a private joke.

Instinctively, Bruce's eyes flickered down to Tony's chest, where his fragile heart beat on behind a Vibranium sternum.

Tony took advantage of the moment of distraction and plucked one of the milkshakes from Bruce's arm. "I'm all good, promise. This doctor-" There was that secretive smile again. "-is for something different, um, something new."

Lifting a brow in question, Bruce felt his other brow joined in a disbelieving arch when Tony flushed.

"But science is still my first love, I swear!"

Bruce wisely didn't point out that he hadn't said a word about love or science. Instead, he handed over the other milkshake and the two bags. "Here, take these to..." He trailed off purposefully.

Tony shuffled his feet. "His name is Dr. Strange."

"Dr. Strange." Bruce kept his comment about how flustered Tony looked to himself. This relationship must still be new and he wasn't sure if they were at the stage where he could tease Tony about his new boyfriend. "Have a good lunch date."

"It's not a date." Tony's protest was entirely weightless given how quickly he ran down the hall to meet this Dr. Strange.

Two.

"So tell me about this Dr. Strange you've been spending so much time with." Pepper waited until Tony had a mouthful of pasta, mushroom raviolis so delicious it would make him hesitate to leave them behind to avoid her question. That moment of pause was all she needed to get an answer from him. "I heard you ditched Bruce the other day."

"That's because he brought me turkey burgers."

Pepper reached for her water, refusing to engage in one of Tony's pivots.

A beat of silence.

"You sure you want to talk about this?" Tony glared at his dinner and she knew she had won, on all fronts. "You know, with our history and how Ir-"

"If there's someone new in your life, I want to hear about it." Pepper interrupted and meant every word. Just because they weren't lovers anymore didn't mean she had stopped caring about him. Tony had been and would always be one of her best friends; a failed romantic relationship wasn't going to change that.

"Well, if you're sure."

"I am."

"He came to the hospital. After Siberia." Tony stabbed at a ravioli. "He wanted to talk and had some ideas for Rhodey's, um, condition."

The file Happy had put together mentioned Dr. Strange's struggle with an accident that robbed him of the use of his hands. It spoke of a kind man with strong character to be able to rise from a tragedy and be reborn with a new purpose, consulting and lecturing around the country. She could understand how the two of them would be instantly attracted. "Sounds like it was helpful."

His lips curled satisfactorily around a bite that had nothing to do with the creamy sauce or handmade pasta. "It was. He really opened my eyes to new things. Things I hadn't considered before."

"Sounds like he's good for you."

"He certainly likes to think so." Tony huffed with a fond roll of his eyes.

"I'm sure you're good for him too." She added in a tone that brooked no arguments.

Another beat of silence.

Tony twitched. "Can we talk about something else please?"

Chuckling, Pepper decided to let him off the hook for now. There would be plenty of time to grill Tony's boyfriend later.

Three.

Jim grimaced as he lifted his sweat-soaked shirt away from his body, proof of his hard work during their session today.

Tony grabbed two bottles of water from the mini-fridge then dropped down next to Jim. "Out with it."

"Out with what?"

"Whatever you're going to ask about Stephen."

"Oh, it's Stephen now, is it? I thought it was Dr. Strange." Jim caught the bottle of water Tony tossed at his head easily. He twisted open the cap and drained half of the bottle in one sustained gulp because he was damn thirsty from relearning how to walk. "So how's it going?"

"It's been good." Tony seemed surprised by his own admission. "Really good, actually."

"Yeah? What's so special about him?"

"He does this thing-" Tony raised the hand not holding onto his bottle of water and crooked his index and middle fingers while wiggling the other three at the same time. "-and then magic happens."

Jim choked on his water.

"You okay, Sour Patch?"

"Fine." Jim croaked out, his face warm from the coughing fit and the implication of what Tony just demonstrated; there were things he simply didn't need to know about his best friend's sex life or his best friend's new boyfriend's magical fingers. "Just not what I was expecting."

Tony's eyes flickered with understanding then he shrugged sheepishly. "Oh right, not in front of the beautiful tech." He cooed at the leg braces. "You're still the best, oh yes you are."

Jim shook his head at his best friend's antics before pointing out that there was an extremely handsome man operating said beautiful tech who was also the best.

Four.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Mr. Stark asked again as he pulled the papers away.

Peter considered donning his upgraded Spider-Man suit to web Mr. Stark in place long enough to sign the amended Accords.

The disasters in Bucharest and Leipzig had almost cemented the belief that superheroes were dangerous and could not be trusted. It had taken months of work to undo the public's perception of them and convince the United Nations that the Rogue Avengers were the exception and not the rule. Now, nearly a year after the ratification of the Sokovia Accords, the amendments were finally pushed through and the updated legal document now resembled a partnership between the governments of the world and the New Avengers, with checks and balances on each side.

And Peter would be a New Avenger as soon as he put his name on the dotted line. "Yes, I'm sure." He did his best to keep the whine out of his voice. "We've been over this, like, a million times." And it wasn't exactly an exaggeration, Mr. Stark had gone over every section of the Accords and each of the added amendments with painstaking detail, breaking down the dense legalese first into everyday vernacular then bullet points then a flow chart. Oh, and once in Spanish to help Peter study for an upcoming exam. By this point, Peter just wanted to sign the stupid thing.

"Well, humor me and make it a million and one." Mr. Stark crossed his arms. "Let's take it from the top-"

The iconic melody of the Harry Potter theme chimed from Mr. Stark's phone.

"Hey, Stranger Danger." Mr. Stark's playful tone was the opposite of the stern voice he had been using a second ago. Curiouser and curiouser. "Getting the papers signed... No, I'm not giving him the speech again... How did your thing go? Ouch, that sucks. A world with no coffee is not a world I'd want to visit..."

Even with access to only half of the conversation, Peter could tell this was someone who meant a lot to Mr. Stark and who knew Mr. Stark very well and who apparently made Mr. Stark very happy.

"Italy? They do have good coffee. Now? Sure, why not. Pick me up in, er, five? I'm just about done here because I'm not giving him the speech again." Mr. Stark slid the updated Accords across the table toward Peter. "Yep, see you soon."

Peter had them signed before Mr. Stark hung up the phone. "Thank you, Mr. Stark."

Mr. Stark gathered the papers into a folder. "We'll hold a press conference in a few days, introduce the world to the newest official member of the New Avengers, Spiderling."

"Spider-Man." Peter corrected.

"That's not what it says on the press release." Mr. Stark winked before clapping Peter on the shoulder. "Welcome to the team, kid. See you around."

"So, Italy?" Peter asked.

"Just a friend in need of a caffeine fix, no big deal." Mr. Stark waved off the question. "I'll bring you back something. Have a good weekend!" He called over his shoulder.

"I don't have any friends who'll take me on a spontaneous trip to Italy for coffee." Peter pointed out to an empty room.

Five.

Once the car had safely merged onto the busy city street, Happy spared a peek in the rear view mirror. If he were the kind of man to coo or use words like cute, he might have done just that. As it was, though, he merely rolled his eyes at the sight of Tony and Stephen pressed together in the backseat of the spacious limo, heads bent together and mouths inches apart as they whispered to each other.

The we're friends and colleagues act might have fooled the reporters outside of the gala, but Happy had seen how the two men looked at each other. It had been intense gazes when they thought they were alone and quick glances to find each other when they were apart and meaningful stares that kept them in sync when they had an audience.

And, of course, the two of them had been having this hushed conversation ever since they got out of range of the cameras and behind the tinted windows.

"Where to first, Boss?" Happy asked as they stopped at a light. Stephen's listed address was on Bleecker Street, in the opposite direction of the Stark Tower.

"Oh." Tony's head snapped up and nearly collided with Stephen's, that was how close these two unsubtle dorks were. "Um." His brows furrowed.

Stephen mumbled something under his breath and immediately Tony's expression brightened.

"The tower's good, thanks Hap."

"Sure thing, Boss." Happy nodded and rolled up the privacy screen. He didn't need to be a genius to figure out what one stop meant.

One.

For the most part, Everett enjoyed visiting Stark Tower. The coffee was excellent and the pastries were always warm, as if they just came fresh out of the oven no matter the time of the day.

Today, however, was not one of those days.

The Rogue Avengers had turned themselves in after news of the changes made to the Accords were made public. Apparently, this was what Rogers and his team wanted all along, to work with the governments of the world instead of against them. They certainly had a funny way of communicating that.

With the exception of Maximoff, all of them had received pardons for their roles in Bucharest and Leipzig. Rogers had argued that it was unfair to hold Maximoff responsible for the tragedy in Lagos and had done a great impression of a goldfish when he was told it wasn't Lagos that halted Maximoff's pardon.

It was Johannesburg and the role she played in forcing Dr. Banner to transform into the Hulk.

Maximoff had stormed off from the meeting then disappeared from the temporary housing facility. None of the guards had any memory of the night in question and all of them were missing cash from their wallets. Because of the nature and unpredictability of her powers, the New Avengers had been tasked to apprehend her.

The Rogue Avengers had insisted on being the ones to bring her in, claiming they were the best candidates because they knew her and objecting when their offer was declined. As a precaution, Vision had been sent to monitor their activity. The decision was based both on the android's aversion to face Maximoff as well as his ability to easily subdue a super soldier, two elite assassins, one former air force pilot, and one civilian with a shrinking suit should they decide to disobey a direct order.

"We have reason to believe she may be coming here." His words were met with grimaces from around the table.

Potts and Hogan, the CEO and Head of Security of Stark Industries, respectively, immediately activated the emergency protocol.

Spider-Man fidgeted in his seat, his nervousness palpable even with his face hidden behind his mask.

Strange looked as composed as ever, hands clasped before him on the table. It had been quite a surprise to see the Sorcerer Supreme here, in his civilian clothes no less, but Everett greatly preferred the dress shirt and slacks over the insufferable cloak that liked to remind Everett of his height. Or lack thereof.

Banner and Rhodes shifted closer to Stark, who let out a bark of laughter void of humor.

"Great, what else is new? She hates my guts."

"Actually, her target may be Dr. Banner, since it was his testimony that was used as the primary evidence to deny her pardon." Everett winced when the scientist's hands clenched. "Sorry."

"Not your fault." Banner gritted out before closing his eyes and taking several deep breaths. Green was seeping through his natural skin tone.

For the next fifteen minutes, they chatted on and off about inconsequential things aimed at keeping Banner calm. Footsteps, rapid but orderly, echoed from the hallways and eventually faded away, signaling the evacuation of the building had been completed.

Everett couldn't help but noticed that the questions directed at Strange were of a personal nature, including subtle inquiries about his past relationships and blunt interrogation of his intentions toward Stark.

"I tried to spare you." Stark seemed amused. "But you insisted on meeting my friends."

For some inexplicable reason, the fact that Strange had wanted to meet them mollified Potts, Hogan, Rhodes, and Banner. Spider-Man gave Strange a thumb's up.

"Miss Maximoff-" FRIDAY's voice held a definitive note of disapproval. "-is on site. Estimated time of arrival to your location is ten seconds."

"Ten seconds? Is she sprinting her way here?" Hogan asked.

A violent series of explosions answered that question when the room shook and Maximoff blasted her way through the wall with crimson tendrils crackling ominously at her fingertips.

"Oh, never mind." Hogan muttered.

With a yell, Maximoff unleashed a torrent of scarlet magic.

"Nope." Strange drawled as his hands moved rapidly in a series of complicated movements. Golden shackles appeared at Maximoff's wrists and around her neck, the brighter glow dispelled the dense red fog of her powers like sunrise scattering mist.

Maximoff howled, the noise more animal than human.

Strange made a circular motion with his fingers.

"What did you do to me? What did you-" Maximoff's screams were cut off when a portal appeared beneath her feet. It closed neatly after she had fallen through.

Peering at the spot Maximoff once stood, Everett reached for his phone to alert the task force that she had been apprehended and her powers were neutralized, thanks to Strange's quick intervention.

Stark seemed to feel similarly, throwing his arms around Strange with celebratory whoop. "That was fantastic!" He turned to his friends, who stood like statues with matching expressions of shock on their faces. "Isn't Steph here the best? I never thought I'd say this but I kind of love magic right now."

"Magic." Rhodes repeated dully.

Strange smirked. "FRIDAY, I'd like a copy of that soundbite please."

"Of course, Dr. Strange. Thank you again for your assistance."

Banner pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tony, what's going on?"

"Huh?" Stark still hadn't let go of Strange. "Harry Potter here took care of Voldemort, you were all here for the show."

Hogan gaped. "Your boyfriend is a wizard?"

"Sorcerer." Strange corrected. "Wait, what?"

"Boyfriend? He's not my boyfriend!" Stark jumped back, more surprised than offended.

Interesting.

Everett surreptitiously started filming the exchange on his phone. It was too good not to and no one would believe him without proof.

"You brought him lunch." Banner scrubbed his hand over his face. "For your date."

"No, you brought me lunch then told me to share. Ugh, those turkey burgers." Stark shuddered.

Everett actually liked turkey burgers.

Strange narrowed his eyes. "That was your doing?"

Banner sighed and muttered something about feeling unappreciated for watching out for everyone's cholesterol levels.

"You're not that kind of doctor." Stark stuck out his tongue.

Everett had never been so glad for the advancement of technology that led to him capturing this moment. On his StarkPhone.

Spider-Man raised his hand. "But he took you to Italy for coffee, friends don't do that."

"Because I know where the cafe is." Stark explained, conveniently not addressing Spider-Man's second point.

"And he speaks Italian." Strange added.

Hogan scratched his chin. "You two were cuddling in the car last night and you didn't need me to drop him off."

"I was going to portal back to the Sanctum. It was late and I didn't want to trouble you with another trip."

"Yes, portals. Because he knows magic and that's what we were discussing in the car, you Muggle."

Potts sighed. "Yes, yes, we've all heard about Stephen's magic fingers."

"I thought we agreed to never talk about it again." Rhodes flinched. "I was just starting to forget that borderline pornographic finger move."

"What?!" Stark and Strange and Spider-Man all shouted, with the former two sounding indignant and latter sounding intrigued.

Hogan pinned Spider-Man with a stern look before turning it onto Stark and Strange. "But you're still here."

"We fell asleep." Stark and Strange said in unison, glancing at each other then quickly away, flustered.

Potts arched an impeccable eyebrow. "Well, at least he got you to sleep. Guess he really is good for you, like you said."

Strange leaned into Stark's personal space. "You said that?" His voice was low and pleased.

Everett wondered if anyone else noticed the intimate tone.

Stark sputtered but didn't move away. "She said you're good for me and years of training have taught me to never disagree with her because she's always right."

"Is that so?" Strange hummed. "She thinks we're dating. Is she wrong?"

"Um." Stark licked his lips.

It was clear that both of them had completely forgotten anyone else was in the room.

"We do spend quite a bit of time together."

"We do."

"We've shared meals together and even took a trip abroad."

"Yeah."

"Care to take another one?" Strange's eyes crinkled at the corners, his gaze exceptionally sharp and impossibly fond, like he had just discovered the secret to the universe and it was standing right in front of him. "There's a dim sum place outside of the Hong Kong Sanctum I've been meaning to show you."

"Oh." Stark's voice sounded a bit strangled. "Like a, a date?"

Everett shifted uneasily and considered stopping the recording, this had gone from a hilarious misunderstanding to the beginning of something else.

"Yes." Strange created another portal with a spin of his wrist and extended his other hand toward Stark.

Stark took it with a beaming smile that lit up his entire face.

The two of them stepped through the swirling portal and vanished from sight, leaving behind a stretch of stunned silence.

"So." Everett cleared his throat, ending the recording and sliding his phone back into his pocket. He made a note to send it to Stark later. "Um, any idea where Maximoff went?"

As if on cue, another portal opened in midair and Maximoff fell to the ground with a painful thud. "I've been falling for thirty minutes." She gritted out.