Title: The Fred Chronicles- Sabotage
Author: PianoRocknRoll (A.K.A Veritas4Eternity)
E-mail: BroadwayWannabekc. The Fred Chronicle's will be a 7 part series that shows Fred's POV throughout the movie- all the way to the end. This series is the prequel to the sequel I'm writing to "Drop Dead Fred." It's not required to read this first, but I'd recommend it.
IN THIS CHAPTER: Fred is annoyed when Lizzy tells him he's not invited to her lunch date. When he finds out whom she's dining with, he decides to have a little fun. Hints of Lizzy/Fred in this chapter! Not much, but a tid-bit- next part though, we begin to have some real fun! claps evilly
Rating: PG- minorish language.
Pairings: None quite yet. As the chronicles progress, the pairing will change to Lizzy/Fred, and minor Lizzy/Charles, Lizzy/Mickey.
Author note: Thanks to my only reviewer LowRidah4! This chapter is for you since you had a bad day!
- - - - Sabotage - - - -
Fred sulked as he followed Lizzy through the crowded mall. For the life of him, he couldn't understand why she was so furious about sinking that stupid old boat. Honestly, her friend (Janie was it?) should be thanking him! Her house had just gotten much more interesting! She had everything; beautiful scenery, exciting wildlife, and no self-respecting salesman would bother her now! Yes, it was very logical in his mind, but when he pointed all this out to Elizabeth, she merely glared at him and grumbled something under her breath about homicidal urges.
And now he was stuck watching her be a complete and utter girl, shifting through dress racks, searching for the "perfect dress". Puke. And why the hell was she suddenly excluding him from her social activities? Honestly, he wasn't invited to lunch with an old friend? It was bloody moronic! He was Drop Dead Fred! No one told him where he could and could not go. Not even his Snotface. Pouting, he followed Elizabeth into the dressing room where she was trying on her purple grape thing. Sitting down in one of the waiting chair, he proceeded to sing a very loud rendition of "girls just wanna have fun", to which he heard Lizzy growl softly. He chuckled devilishly as Snotface's dressing room door swung open.
"Finally Snotface! I was beginning to wonder if I needed to harpoo-" He cut off sharply as Lizzy stepped out in the dress. She looked… good. For a girl anyway.
"Well..." She asked nervously, brushing a piece of lint off the dress. "What do you think?" Fred opened and closed his mouth a few times before he finally managed to get words out.
"Snotface…" Fred replied in disbelief. "You look like… like… a girl!" At this, Lizzy smiled lightly, and rolled her eyes playfully.
"I'll take that as a compliment." She said wryly, before going back into the dressing room. Still in the waiting room, Fred huffed.
"Yeah, well you shouldn't! Girls are stupid and ugly!" He declared stubbornly. At this statement, he heard Elizabeth laugh softly. He flushed brightly, poofing out in a cloud of green smoke. Suddenly it wasn't very fun to tease her.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Oh no! Mickey FARTPANTS? Who let him grow up?" Fred asked, nose scrunching up as he glared at the young man across the table.
"Go away!" Elizabeth hissed, glaring at Fred.
Mickey stared at her in confusion. "What?" He asked, frowning lightly. Elizabeth stared at him, glare turning into a soft smile.
"I'm sorry." She offered sheepishly. Mickey laughed.
"No, no, no. Look, don't apologize. I love being with you. I love the way you cut your hair. I love the way you sink houseboats!" Mickey gushed, gazing at Lizzy with pure adoration. Fred snorted in disgust.
"God, look at him. He's still talking about love. I always thought you should be a girl!" He taunted right to Mickey's face. (Of course, it didn't matter, because Mickey couldn't see him.) Snotface laughed quietly, and Fred smiled faintly at the sound.
"You know," Mickey continued, "Some people believe that you really never ever fall out of love." Fred's head snapped towards Mickey like an elastic band, and was horrified to find a shy smile sent in Snotface's direction. Staring incredulously, he glared evilly at the man. No, no, NO! Mickey Fartpants would NOT win over his Snotface; Fred would make sure of that.
"Look, this isn't like when we were five, we're grown-ups now, so piss off!" Fred snapped angrily in the brunet's direction. His scowl grew when Lizzy cut him off.
"I'd like to know more about the grown up Mickey Bunce." She chimed, a shy smile of her own finding it's way to her lips. Fred stared at her with something akin to morbid fascination. Was she flirting? Oh no, this wouldn't do at all. His mission suddenly became clear: he would sabotage this lunch date if it were the last thing he did! He grinned mischievously as Lizzy picked up her glass of water, peering at Mickey over the rim.
"Okay, I…" Mickey paused in mid-sentence as Fred grabbed Lizzy's hand holding the glass, and jerking it forward. Fred smirked as he got the desired effect. Mickey's face went from enthusiastic to confused hesitation in no time flat! He chuckled when Lizzy tried to yank the glass away, and in the process, spilling more of the water on herself. Hmmm… that gave him an idea. "Well, uh, I know how much you hate the word divorce, but after mine I had to, you know, get back into the whole dating…" Fred beamed as he emptied the glass's contents on to Lizzy's lap. Sighing contentedly, he released his grip, allowing Lizzy to finally put the glass down. "…game." Mickey trailed off.
"Yes Mickey, go on!" She said with forced casualness, a bland smile pasted on her lips.
"Yes Mickey!" Fred mimicked, eyes wide with delight. "Go on!" Mickey glanced at Lizzy apprehensively.
"Okay… um, you see that woman over there?" Mickey asked, nodding towards a striking blonde towards the front of the restaurant. Fred grabbed Elizabeth's hand and jerked it up quickly, attempting to get the woman's attention. Maybe then she'd come over and rekindle her romance with Mickey Farts-A lot, and he'd leave Fred's Snotface alone!
"Mm-hmm?" Lizzy replied."I dated her for three or four…" Mickey blathered on. Fred sighed, tuning him out. Evidently he wasn't getting his point across. Very well then. Crazy wasn't going to do it. He would have to make Lizzy seem full-blown insane. Grabbing her right hand, he began to force her to wave it in the air, as if conduction music. Soon, her motions got so ridiculously huge, Mickey trailed off to stare at her open-mouthed. 'And now for the finale!' Fred thought gleefully, slamming Lizzy's hand into her now empty glass, which fell to the floor and shattered.
Mickey paused, as if unsure how to say what he was going to say. "Why did you do that?" Fred pumped his fist. VICTORY!
"I didn't!" Came Lizzy's strained reply.
"Yes you did, because I saw you do that." Mickey replied firmly, an unsure smile spreading across his lips. Lizzy glanced at Fred with panic, and unable to contain his grin, Fred nodded and mouthed 'you' at her.
"Oh, I did, didn't I?" Lizzy said sheepishly. "Uh… to get the waiters attention?"
"Well… I don't think that works." Mickey said politely, smile still stuck to his face. Fred glared. Stupid Mickey… 'Just leave!' At that moment, Fred glanced up to see the waiter coming their way. 'No way.' "Maybe that does work!" Mickey laughed, a real smile replacing the fake one.
"Your lunch!" The waiter announced, placing a plate of noodles in front of Lizzy. "And your sir." He placed another dish in front of Mickey. Gritting his teeth, Fred schemed inwardly. Either Mickey really liked Lizzy, or he was one stupid guy. Grabbing Lizzy's napkin, he forced it over her face, smirking triumphantly at Mickey. If this didn't scare him off, nothing would! After a few seconds, Fred loosened his grip, allowing Lizzy to rip it out of his hands. When she noticed Mickey's baffled stare directed to her, she smiled meekly.
"Peek-a-Boo?" She offered weakly. To Fred's utter annoyance, Mickey merely smiled fondly.
"Peek-a-boo, yeah, I play that with Natalie all the time!" He chuckled. Lizzy reached for her plate, and a brilliant idea struck Fred. Resisting the urge to giggle, he slammed his hands onto her plate, and slowly tugged it upwards. She might be mad at him for a while, but really- he was doing her a favor!
'Sorry Snotface, but it's for your own good!'
At that moment, Lizzy shot him a look of pure desperation, silently pleading with Fred to not do this. Fred was momentarily startled, and let go of the plate as if it were on fire, allowing Elizabeth to safely return it to its rightful place, and smile triumphantly.
'What in the bloody hell was that!' Fred snarled inwardly. One look had forced him to let go. Oh well, no need to dwell on such things! Happily, he grabbed her plate again (which her hands were still connected to) and threw it high up into the air. Lizzy's face went from triumphant to ash white in a matter of seconds.
"Okay… why did you do that?" Mickey asked, leaning forward, his eyes locking with Elizabeth's.
Snotface sighed. "I'm crazy." She said flatly. Fred laughed out loud this time. She had even admitted it! There was no way would Mickey tolerate this nonsense any longer! But, to Lizzy's delight, and Fred's immense horror, Mickey just laughed whole-heartedly.
"You are crazy in the most wonderful way! God! I wish I could be like that, I wish I could do those kinds of things!" He paused, inwardly deciding something. "What the Hell?" And with that, Mickey threw a handful of spaghetti at a customer.
"Uh oh!" Fred grinned as a waiter approached. Little Mickey was in trouble. However, Fred couldn't help but laugh madly when Mickey threw a handful of spaghetti at the restaurant owner. Not so much at Mickey, but at Lizzy's mortified expression.
"I like him a lot better then I used to!" Fred teased her, grinning from one ear to the other. 'Maybe I didn't succeed in making Mickey leave Elizabeth, but maybe I've scarred Elizabeth enough that she'll dump Mickey! Fred thought gleefully. But as Elizabeth turned to glare at him with fury raging in her eyes, Fred gulped nervously.
'Then again… maybe not.'
