Hisashi Midoriya—professional name All for One—had brought his darling baby son Izuku home from the hospital today. His wife was upstairs sleeping, still exhausted from her recent childbirth. Hisashi had promised to look after Izuku so she could rest.

Unfortunately, Izuku was crying.

Hisashi had tried rocking his baby, singing lullabies, and saying "shhhhhh" with increasing desperation. Nothing had worked. Soon Inko would wake up, and then he would fail. As Japan's greatest villain, why was this so hard?

His head pounded. He hadn't slept in nearly twenty hours because he'd been holding Inko's hand throughout her long labor. His hands shook. It felt like red-hot ants crawled behind his eyes. The never-ending screams rang in his ears.

In desperation, Hisashi searched on his phone for "parenting advice." He found an online forum. Izuku pummeled his arm with both fists. Holding a squalling Izuku tightly to his chest, he tried to create an account. He wanted to name himself AFO but accidentally selected UFO. Whatever. He posted, "How to stop my baby from crying?"

The first reply appeared quickly, but it said, "Dude, this is hero fan discussion site. Are you stupid?"

Hisashi's eye twitched. When Izuku had thrashed, it had jostled his arm, causing him to select the wrong link.

His son continued wailing at a frequency specifically designed to pierce the human eardrum. Baby slobber dripped down his suit. Hisashi contemplated going on a murderous rampage across Japan.

Fortunately for the world, at that moment, a second reply popped up from the user SoDoneWithAllMight. "Hey, if we're hero fans, then we should be happy to help someone out. Have you tried holding your baby under a gently running shower?"

The username was so sensible that Hisashi decided to give it a try.


Toshinori had ended up on this hero discussion site because Nezu had said something ridiculous about how his fans and Endeavor's hated each other. Clearly that couldn't be true, since he got along great with Endeavor.

Just picking a username took forever. He tried every possible combination of names using All Might, but they were already taken. In all fairness, this was a site full of hero fans. Eventually, he typed SoDoneWithAllMight. That one was free, so he took it.

The first post to catch Toshinori's eye had nothing to do with heroic rivalries, but rather came from a confused new parent looking for advice. Toshinori had never had children, but Nana had once told him that warm water from a shower could soothe a crying baby.

Fifteen minutes later, a response appeared from UFO. "It worked! You have my gratitude. You'll the last person I kill when I slaughter my way through Japan."

Toshinori chuckled. He supposed all sleep-deprived new parents longed to commit a little mass murder. He accepted a friend request from UFO.


Over the next few years, Toshinori kept receiving regular messages from UFO. Usually he sent more parenting questions. Even though Toshinori often had to google the answers or ask his colleagues due to his own lack of experience with babies, he didn't mind helping. He had a strong suspicion that UFO came from an abusive family due to his lack of basic parenting common sense. It was great that his online friend was reaching out for help. UFO clearly cared a lot about being a good father.

Sometimes they would talk about their favorite TV shows. They have very similar tastes, even though Toshinori liked hero characters and UFO liked villains. UFO had a wonderfully caustic sense of humor that Toshinori greatly enjoyed. They both hated the Hero Public Safety Commission with a passion. UFO frequently had Toshinori in stiches of laughter with his insults for them. Over time, as they grew more comfortable with each other, they started bitching about work. In veiled terms, of course, since Toshinori had never revealed that he was a hero, much less the All Might.

Toshinori typed, "I've been working overtime several nights in a row. My horrible coworker has been sticking me with all this extra work. I wish he would just quit, but he's as hard to get rid of as a cockroach." Coworker was code for All for One. Several members of the man's organization had defected and All for One was trying to murder them before they could testify. Toshinori had been barely able to sleep due to the need to protect them around the clock.

UFO replied, "The same coworker you keep complaining about? He sounds awful. Let me know if you ever decide you want him dead. I owe you a few murders."

Toshinori laughed. His friend had such a quirky sense of humor! He typed, "You're a true friend, and I'll come to you if I ever need a body buried. If there's anyone who would drive me to murder, then it's him. He's the absolute worst: a mindlessly violent narcissist who couldn't fit his ego in the Tokyo Stadium."

"Ugh, I hate types like that! I have my own extremely obnoxious archnemesis at work. He's a professional hero: the super-fake kind who cares only about maintaining his good image."

Toshinori frowned. "Whoa, heroes like that are the worst!" He'd met countless heroes who were only in it for the money and fame rather than helping people. They were a disgrace to his profession.

"He stole the only memento I have of my deceased brother."

Toshinori gasped audibly as he read UFO's last message. "What a bastard!"

"Recently he stole several other possessions of mine, and I've been working late into the night trying to get them back."

"That's terrible! Have you gone to the police?"

"Unfortunately, I have no proof, but I plan to fight him anyway."

"You should sue him." Toshinori was tempted to offer to help, but he hesitated to break the privacy of their anonymous friendship. He didn't know how the other would react. Selfishly, he didn't want to give up the one friend in his life who didn't see him as All Might, with all that baggage attached.

"Because of him, I've been away from home frequently, and my wife is getting increasingly upset. I brought her a diamond necklace, but I don't think she liked it. She sighed when she saw it. Do you think it was the wrong style? Would she prefer emeralds like her beautiful eyes?"

Toshinori hesitated. Then he typed, "I don't think the problem is the type of gemstone. Your wife sees you as trying to buy your way out of the argument. She wants to spend more time with you, not gifts. Can you schedule a date night with her? No matter how important your work is, family should come first."

For a moment, UFO didn't reply. Then he sent back, "I think you're right. In retrospect, I only cared so much about retrieving those assets because of my pride and desire not to let the thieving bastard win. They're certainly not worth upsetting my lovely wife. I'll take her out for dinner soon. Thank you! You always give the best advice."

"You're welcome. Good luck with your work rival."

"Good luck with yours."

Toshinori smiled as he closed down his computer for the night. He could never bitch about his work problems with anyone else—people expected All Might to be always smiling and always perfect. He certainly couldn't talk about All for One, who was supposed to be a strict secret. It felt good to get that off his chest. He was glad he'd made friends with UFO.


Hisashi's hands trembled as he typed. Good thing he'd been spending more time at home lately, because he'd noticed that his precious Izuku was being bullied. He'd found bruises and even burn marks on his poor five-year-old child! Someone had to die for this!

Because Hisashi had decided to murder Izuku's entire school, it would take time for him to prepare the attack so no one could escape. In the meantime, he vented his fury to his favorite source of advice and nerdy old-fashioned media conversations: his online friend SoDoneWithAllMight.

After pouring out the entire story, he finished, "They must die! All of them! Their parents too, for teaching them such behavior. Perhaps I should burn down the entire city."

SoDoneWithAllMight replied, "Ha-ha, I bet all parents feel like that when their child is being bullied. But of course you can't actually kill children. You'd go to jail."

"No, I wouldn't."

"Then your son would cry."

Hisashi frowned, stroking his chin. That was a good point. Izuku still considered his bullies to be his friends, especially that obnoxious brat he called Kacchan. Having his entire school burned down with no survivors would traumatize the poor baby. "What if I locked my son away in a place where no one could come near him and hurt him?"

"Another understandable response from a hurt parent, but simply not practical."

"I could do it easily. I still have that bank vault my brother got thrown into." The passive language was deliberate on Hisashi's part—he could have given an hour long lecture about how his younger brother had basically thrown himself into a bank vault.

After a pause, SoDoneWithAllMight said, "I hope I'm not being presumptuous, but I've noticed from our previous conversations that your parents were abusive."

Hisashi startled. This was true, but how had SoDoneWithAllMight figured it out? (He saw zero connection to the previous message about bank vaults.) "You're right, and I'm not offended."

"It's common for the grown children of abusive parents to try to overcompensate by overprotecting their own children. But if you smother your son and keep him away from the world, he'll come to resent you."

Hisashi pondered. True, the vault thing hadn't worked out well with his brother. "Ugh, why does parenting have to be so hard?" It was so much easier when he could murder his problems.

"Bullying and quirkless discrimination are very difficult problems. I'd like to help you. Would you be willing to give me the name of your son's elementary school? You don't even have to tell me any other personal information. I think that I can help you."

Hisashi hesitated. It wasn't as if he'd ever told his friend anything connected to his villainous identity. He didn't see how this could backfire on him. Honestly, he was curious—just curious enough to delay his arson plans. He went ahead and gave the school's name.


After parking his car, Hisashi walked toward the soon-to-be-wiped-off-the-face-of-the-earth school.

Izuku ran out to greet him. "Daddy! Daddy! You'll never guess what happened today!"

Hisashi caught his kindergartener up in a hug. "What?" After weeks of Izuku dejected from bullying, it was good to see a broad smile on his son's face.

"The top ten heroes visited our school and gave speeches about quirkless discrimination and bullying! My teacher and the principal got fired!" Izuku's eyes kept getting wider with every word. "All Might personally told Kacchan that a true hero couldn't discriminate. Then Kacchan apologized to me."

"All the top ten heroes?" Hisashi repeated, stunned. If SoDoneWithAllMight had managed this, then he had much greater influence then Hisashi had realized. How had the other man convinced that egotistical poster boy All Might to do something good for once?

Izuku nodded. "All of them except Endeavor. Mr. Yagi said that he must have been busy. Mr. Yagi organized the entire event. He's quirkless, just like me. He was just telling me about his own experiences as a child." Izuku pointed at a skinny blonde man sneaking away. "Daddy, meet Mr. Yagi."

The man straightened. Hisashi gaped at the gaunt features of Toshinori Yagi, All Might's secretary. He had never met the man face-to-face before, but he knew him by reputation as a brilliant legal shark attacking his illicit businesses.

"You're SoDoneWithAllMight?" Hisashi whispered.

Toshinori twirled one of his bangs. "Yes, I suppose I've been caught. You must be UFO. It's a pleasure to meet you in-person." He held out his hand.

Hisashi's first emotion was betrayal. But no, Toshinori clearly didn't know anything about his true villainous identity. He'd have gained nothing from offering good advice for years. For Toshinori to have gone to such lengths to help Izuku was a true act of friendship. Hisashi's shriveled black raisin of a heart felt touched.

Besides, Toshinori clearly hated All Might! Just look at his username. All Might must be the awful coworker he kept complaining about. After all, "a mindlessly violent narcissist who couldn't fit his ego in the Tokyo Stadium" was the perfect description of All Might. Poor Toshinori, being overworked by his cruel boss until he looked like a skeleton.

Clearly, Hisashi should offer Toshinori a better job at one of his own businesses, and then the regrettable All Might connection would no longer threaten their friendship.

When had he started to think of SoDoneWithAllMight as a friend? Hisashi wasn't sure. But it was a rare enough feeling for him to cherish it.

Hisashi shook Toshinori's hand. "I'm glad to meet you in-person as well. Maybe now we can watch our next old-fashioned superhero film together."

Toshinori smiled. "I'd like that."


"Pass the popcorn, skeleton," Hisashi said, elbowing Toshinori as the movie stared playing.

Toshinori only grinned. "Here you go, handsome."

Hisashi sputtered. "W-what did you just call me?"

"Aren't we giving each other embarrassing friend nicknames?"

"Then you should give me an insulting one back!"

"If this embarrasses you more, then it's working." Toshinori's grin widened. "If that's not insulting enough, I could go with 'frail anime bishounen.'"

"Why, you! That would better suit you than me, except you're not good-looking enough." Secretly, Hisashi wasn't annoyed at all. It was fun having someone he could joke around with and tease. Toshinori reminded Hisashi a lot of his little brother—that cheerful spirit and headstrong nature despite his physical frailty.

Hisashi had never had a best friend before. His wife and son were the lights of his life, but he couldn't vent to them as openly as he did with Toshinori. There was something exhilarating about a BFF. He finally understood why other people valued such relationships.

Clearly, he'd made a great decision by signing up for that online forum so many years ago. If there was any irritation to his current contentment, it would be that Toshinori hadn't taken any of the recruitment offerings from Hisashi's shell companies. Hisashi was convinced that Toshinori's brains must be the secret behind that meathead All Might's success. But it baffled him how All Might had managed to get someone so smart working for him. How could Toshinori even stand being the same room as that imbecile? Getting his bestie a new job would help both of them. Frankly, it would be nice not to have Toshinori hunting down his money laundering operations any longer.

As the opening credits played, Hisashi attempted a subtle probe. "You've been complaining about work being extra busy lately. Have you ever considered switching to a less demanding employer?"

"Funny you mention that! I've been getting loads of job offers lately." Toshinori shrugged. "But all of them are offering me way too much money. I can only assume they're trying to use me to get professional secrets from All Might. Why else would a mere secretary be offered the salary of a CEO?"

Hisashi frowned. Clearly he needed to be a bit more subtle about his offers. But to not accept such a high salary, could All Might be blackmailing Toshinori? Why else would Toshinori stick with an employer he clearly hated? That would be just like the cruel, heartless Number One Hero. Yet another reason to eliminate the bastard as soon as possible. "Another question: have you ever wanted a quirk?"

Toshinori took a bite of popcorn. "When I was younger, absolutely. These days, I'm at peace with being quirkless."

"What would you say if you met someone who could give you a quirk?"

Toshinori paled. "That sounds extremely suspicious! Do you know anyone who claimed they could give or take quirks?"

"No, no! It was just an idea from a cartoon I saw recently."

"Oh." Toshinori's shoulders sagged with relief. "If anyone ever approaches with multiple quirks or offers you a quirk, please tell me immediately, okay? I need you to promise me."

"I promise, but I'm sure that will never happen. No such ability exists." It appeared that Toshinori might know something about All for One, probably through his employer. That made it vital that Hisashi keep a strict work-life separation for the sake of their friendship. However, it went against Hisashi's nature not to spoil the people he cared about with presents. If he couldn't give Toshinori a new job, he wanted to at least give his bestie a quirk.

Maybe he could slip over one so small and subtle that it could pass as something Toshinori had never noticed for years? Then Hisashi would help him "discover" it and be praised as a savior. Having a quirk would also improve Toshinori's job prospects (unfairly, but the world worked like that), so Hisashi could continue to help him find a much better employer.

As they brushed shoulders, Hisashi passed on a quirk that caused the user's clothing to always be unwrinkled.

Izuku ran into the room wearing an All Might hat. Ugh, why did his son have to develop such bad taste in heroes? Izuku asked, "Can I watch too?"

"Of course you can! You're my favorite little hero." Toshinori moved over.

Hisashi smiled. It warmed his heart to see how well Toshinori got along with his son. He treated Izuku like family.


The Void rocked, sending vestiges shaking and falling over. Clutching the edge of his throne, Banjo cried, "What was that?"

"My brother just gave Eighth a quirk," Yoichi reported glumly. "Without getting permission first—he never changes. Whatever it was, One for All has absorbed it now. Just like the fragments of our quirks floating around in here."

Nana clutched her head. "Is All for One going to notice when he can't take it back?"

"Maybe? Probably?" Yoichi shrugged.

Everyone groaned.

The Third threw up his hands. "That's done it. The Eighth was a dud, we'd better hope the Nineth can defeat All for One."

Nana snarled, "Toshi is not a dud!"

The Second said, "I have the highest respect for Eighth as a hero. He's spread peace across Japan. However, he's currently eating popcorn and watching a movie with All for One, so I would say as far as killing our archnemesis for us, he's a dud."

Nana's shoulders sagged. "Toshi is so kind-hearted, it would be difficult for him to fight All for One if he found out the truth. As depressing though this situation is, I'm glad that at least Toshi is looking out for my daughter and grandson."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Eighth talked my brother down from vaulting them a dozen times without even noticing," Yoichi said. "Don't be so hard on Eighth. You both know that my brother can be very charming when he wants. This entire situation is already unfortunate enough for Seventh without us piling on."

"Yeah, sorry," the Third muttered, casting a sidelong glance at Nana.

It had come as a huge shock to Nana when she'd first seen through Toshinori's eyes that All for One had married the daughter she'd given up for adoption as an infant. None of them could tell if All for One had known about Inko's parentage, since they only knew what Toshinori knew. At least he hadn't been abusive toward his family. It had been even more of a relief to Nana when Toshinori's advice had led to All for One focusing less on searching for her other child and more on spending time with his family. At least Kotaro and his children seemed safe.

Banjo said, "All for One being less active in order to spend time with his son has been good for Japan, but it's gotten harder for Eighth to track him down."

"How do you think All for One will take it if he realizes Eighth's true identity?" Hikage asked.

En said, "Surely he'd murder him on sight."

Everyone turned to stare at Yoichi, the resident expert in All for One's bullshit.

Yoichi looked away. "It's difficult to say. We've reached the point where whether my brother actually cares for him or not, it's a bad end either way. Just a different bad end."

Most of the vestiges glanced at the vault door permanently implanted in their mental landscape.


Izuku lay in bed sniffling. The child tossed and turned in a fitful slumber. Seeing his son's feverish face nearly broke Hisashi's heart.

Toshinori entered the bedroom. "I brought more cold washcloths."

"Thank you," Hisashi said, changing the cloth on Izuku's forehead. "He looks slightly redder. Do you think I should take his temperature again? When I find the worthless peon who passed along this vile illness to my baby, they're dead! What if I kept Izuku in a nicely decorated room at home and he never left? What a brilliant idea! I should have thought of it sooner! That way he'd never get sick!"

Toshinori placed at hand on Hisashi's shoulder. "Calm down, you're panicking. It's just a cold. Izuku needs his rest, so don't wake him up to take his temperature yet again. Your plan would only make his health worse. If he lived in some isolated location and never got exposed to any germs, then he'd develop a poor immune system which could kill him later."

"Really? That's a thing?" Hisashi resolved to do research later. "Thank you, skeleton, I don't know what I'd do without you."

Toshinori laughed. "I'm sure you'd muddle through this parenting thing somehow." He pulled up a chair to the bed and sat down next to Hisashi.

Hisashi noticed that Toshinori's shirt was wrinkled. How odd. The quirk hadn't worked? Maybe Toshinori's body wasn't compatible with it. Should he give his friend a new one? He subtly leaned over to brush arms.

He couldn't take the wrinkle-free clothing quirk back.

Hisashi's brow furrowed. That had never happened before. Well, it had happened with his little brother, but Yoichi had at least been able to use the quirk he'd been so ungrateful and whiny about. Hisashi felt a brief flicker of unease, but his inability to admit he ever made mistakes strangled it stillborn.

Could Toshinori have a similar hidden quirk? He really did resemble Yoichi. But what did his hidden quirk do? Did it simply delete any quirk he received from existence or did it have more subtle effects?

Common sense said to leave it be and cease all experimentation. But Hisashi's curiosity had been roused, and he could never resist temptation when it came to playing with quirks.

Hisashi passed over a glowing eyes quirk, a beautifying quirk, and quirk for always finding a free parking space whenever you needed one.

All the quirks vanished into Toshinori, unable to be removed or activated.

Absolutely fascinating! Toshinori seemed able to nullify and perhaps destroy any quirk he received. This might be the single most useless quirk Hisashi had ever seen in his long life. Even his younger brother's hidden quirk had turned out to have practical applicability. But Hisashi couldn't imagine any use for this one. He didn't want it in the slightest—he wouldn't dare let it anywhere near his precious hoard of quirks—but there was nevertheless something unique and fascinating about the worst quirk ever. It roused more curiosity.

Should he see what happened with a more powerful quirk? His fingers itched. He wanted to test it, just as soon as he could find a powerful quirk he didn't mind losing.


In the Void, Hikage asked, "Is it just me, or did Eighth's eyes glow briefly during his last fight?"

"No, no, I saw it too," Banjo said. "It looked cool!"

Nana said, "I would swear he's gotten more handsome, and that's not just a mother's bias."

Yoichi tapped the arm of his throne. "I think the quirks my brother keeps stuffing in here are leaking through."

The vestiges exchanged glances. The Third said, "Now that you mention it, I would swear I've seen Eighth use a watered-down version of my Fa Jin when he fights."

"We're approaching singularity," Yoichi muttered. "I think our Nineth user will be able to unlock all of our quirks…and all the useless ones my brother keeps shoving into Eighth."

"We have to warn Toshi," Nana said, biting her lip.

The Second said, "Or we could let All for One keep doing it in hopes that he'll give us something useful for our next user." Everyone stared at him. "What? He did it last time."

"You've got a point," Yoichi said. "My brother is dumb enough to start experimenting with powerful quirks next. It would serve him right if his quirk-forcing ways backfired on him again. Since Eighth is a dud—"

"I told you all to stop calling Toshi that," Nana growled.

"—our Nineth will need all the help they can get. Assuming the dud doesn't end up locked up somewhere he can't find a successor."

After the vestiges dragged Nana off Yoichi, they all agreed that with no means of communication, there was nothing they could do to stop All for One from continuing his quirk experimentation anyway.

Their spirits were somewhat raised when All for One gave them a Life Drain quirk next. Shortly afterward, Regeneration and Lightning Strike followed.


Toshinori stopped by Sir Nighteye's desk and placed a cafeteria tray down. "Here, for you. Don't forget to eat, Mirai."

Sir Nighteye grumbled, "Right back at you, you never take a break for dinner—wait, you are eating?" His eyebrows raised at the sight of Toshinori balancing a second tray holding meatloaf, mashed potatoes and salad.

Toshinori shrugged. "I've been trying to take care of myself better lately. A friend of mine has been bugging me about it."

"Very effectively bugging you, I'd say." Sir Nighteye examined him. "I haven't seen you without bags under your eyes in years. You must be sleeping every night. Why do you never sleep when I tell you to?" His voice contained a note of jealousy.

Toshinori grumbled, "It's because he threatens me."

"Threatens you?" Sir Nighteye recoiled. "What could he have on the number one hero?"

"Don't look so shocked, it's not as serious as I made it sound. Hisashi doesn't even know that I'm a hero." Toshinori laughed. "He insists that I look after my health by rationing out access to his old movies collection, his wife's delicious cooking, and his son's school events. It's all in good fun. Honestly, I appreciate that he cares. I like having someone who cares about me, Toshinori Yagi, not just All Might."

Sir Nighteye adjusted his glasses. "I'm glad you made such a good friend. Where did you two meet?"

"On the internet."

"On the internet? That sounds sketchy…"

Toshinori laughed, rattling his dinner tray. "You're so old-fashioned, Mirai! He's a perfectly normal Japanese salaryman."


Half an hour after All for One's forces had decimated the Russian mafia and driven them from Japan, Kurogiri commented, "Master, you seem more relaxed lately. I find myself no longer needing to drag you out of dangerous situations at the last minute. Please continue this trend." The Nomu's dull voice contained a note of optimism.

Hisashi frowned, tempted to be offended, but Kurogiri made a good point. During his villainy, Hisashi had always been infected with a maniac energy. But as he'd spent more of it on fun activities with Toshinori, he'd been less prone to thrill-seeking during work. He'd never before realized how often his games backfired on him, but he couldn't deny that his efficiency had increased.

The only downside was that All Might had also gotten more effective. His strength and speed had increased and his skin had a new healthy glow. It was disgusting, given how All Might constantly overworked poor Toshinori. The number one hero must be off relaxing all the time while dumping all his work on his underpaid, underfed secretary. Why, during the time they'd known each other, Toshinori had repeatedly gone weeks without sleeping or leaving the office! It was a miracle his cruel boss hadn't worked him to death long before Hisashi stepped in to put a stop to such behavior. Hisashi had many reasons to murder All Might, but the man's vile treatment of Toshinori was rapidly climbing in priority.

That reminded Hisashi that he needed to make a phone call.

Toshinori picked up on the first ring. "What's cooking, good looking?"

Hisashi flushed. "My coworkers are close enough to hear you!" He cast a sideways glance at Kurogiri, then stepped into an office. It was empty except for the corpse of the previous owner, and therefore the perfect place for a private call.

"It's merely a statement of fact." Toshinori sounded innocent, but by now Hisashi had figured out that his friend used these compliments to embarrass him. It was diabolically effective.

Hisashi counter-attacked with: "If you're answering your phone, then you're not asleep. You know our deal. If you don't get seven hours of sleep tonight, then you can't attend Izuku's school play tomorrow because you'll be in bed sleeping like you should be right now."

Toshinori coughed into the phone. "This happens to be very important…if you could please make a small exception just this once…"

"Izuku's been looking forward to the play so much." Hisashi was looking forward to it as well: Izuku was playing the villain, and he'd been practicing his menacing voice together with his father. "You'll break his poor, fragile little heart if you're not there. He'll cry rivers, flooding the entire stage, and then the play will be ruined and it will be all your fault."

Toshinori's voice became mournful. "You're a cruel, heartless villain. I take back all my compliments. How could you threaten me with Izuku crying? That's a war crime. You're the greatest evil in Japan's history."

Hisashi smirked. "Flattery won't get you any leniency."

"But honestly, you're right." The sound of a chair scraping came through the phone as Toshinori stood up. "Ever since I started sleeping every night, my work efficiency has increased so much that I actually get more done. Thank you, handsome."

Hisashi laughed. "Of course, I'm always right. I'm a genius, and everyone in Japan should obey me."

Toshinori said, "I'd take you as supreme dictator over the Hero Public Safety Commission." Bitterness filled his voice. "They're the reason I'm up late. I've been working for years on a large-scale project to reform Tartarus. That place is a disgrace to humanity. Working with I-Island, my support team has designed new rooms that can keep dangerous prisoners contained in safe but humane ways. We want to switch the focus of the prison to mental health and rehabilitation. Since it's an international prison, I had to get buy-in from leaders around the world. I've been carefully racking up favors. The Hero Commission President promised me support for years—then withdrew it as soon as I had agreement from literally everyone else. They were playing me. They never had any interest in prison reform."

Hisashi rolled his eyes. "I could have told you that. The HPSC maintains power through fear tactics, so of course they don't want to rehabilitate the scary villains."

Toshinori growled, "I'm not letting them get away with it. I've been gathering evidence about their corruption." He sighed. "I'm terrified they'll find a way to bury it yet again. That's why I've been too stressed to sleep."

Come to think of it, why had Hisashi never moved directly against the Commission before? They represented absolutely everything he hated about Hero Society. But they'd always been too useful—their policies were as good as recruiting posters for villains.

Now the organization had grown so fat and bloated that it seemed like prime time to topple them. Hisashi was already forming plans.

On the other end of the phone, Toshinori said, "Good night."

"Good night. Get some rest, skeleton." Hisashi's tone softened. "You may find your problems with the HPSC don't seem as bad in the morning."

Over the next couple days, several key members of the Hero Public Safety Commission were quietly assassinated. This threw the Commission into chaos and left them unable to muster an effective response when All Might released a massive document detailing their corruption.

The HPSC was abolished and replaced with a new governing board. The Tartarus reforms proceeded smoothly. The prison became an example upheld around the world for low recidivism rate among released prisoners.

Izuku's school play was also a smashing success. His villain voice was so scary he made Toshinori fall out of his chair. Hisashi conclude that his bestie probably needed more sleep.


"Whoa!" Izuku stared at the booths of hero merchandise spreading out down the gymnasium. Happy tears streamed down his cheeks. "I can have all of this?"

"Anything you can carry home. It's your middle school graduation present," Hisashi said. Nothing except such a momentous occasion for his beloved son could have dragged him to an insipid celebration of the corruption of society.

"Yay!" Izuku ran down the aisle, stopping to mutter to himself and scribble calculations into his notebook. He must be planning how to strategically spend as much of his father's money as possible.

Inko said, "I'm going to look for a Gang Orca oven mitt to match my kitchen towels." She wandered down the aisle.

Hisashi scowled. Why did even his wife fall for the heroes' fake charms?

Next to him, Toshinori yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"Another late night at work?" Hisashi asked.

Toshinori nodded. His whole body drooped and bags had consumed his eyes. "There's this extremely slippery…coworker…of mine. I've been chasing him for years—it feels like years. Because I need to speak to him about work. He's been absent a lot recently for unknown reasons. I thought I'd found him yesterday, but no luck."

"I know how you feel. My work has hit a hitch as well." Hisashi sighed. He'd gotten too distracted with family lately to expand his business. Maybe he should have gotten a successor back when that whim occurred to him years ago. The first time he'd tried to move a major shipment of Trigger into the city in years, and of course All Might had shown up to stop him. Hisashi had spent all night avoiding the hero. He yawned, too.

Toshinori yawned. "Knock that off, you'll make me yawn even more."

"I can't help it." Yawns were contagious. Hisashi yawned again. "You stop, skeleton."

"You first, anime bishounen," Toshinori said through a yawn.

"You have a new pet name?" Inko returned with her black oven mitt. "You're both lucky that I'm a very secure woman. And I know how obsessive my husband gets about everything he likes."

There was a joking note in her tone that Hisashi suspected to be directed at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing." Inko stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "I'm glad you found a friend as eccentric as you are."

Now Hisashi knew he was being mocked, but before he could reply, a crashing sound came from the other end of the Artists' Alley.

Toshinori said, "I'd better see if Izuku's haul fell on top of him." He took off at an astonishing speed for someone so scrawny.

When Hisashi found his son, Izuku was loaded down with hero merchandise. It poked from his backpack and overflowed from his arms. Extra hero figurines perched on the brim of his hat. Most of the merch contained All Might's obnoxiously smiling face, although Hisashi spotted the rest of the top ten too. A rare Eraserhead scarf wrapped around his son's neck. Finally, a giant All Might statue had been tied with rope to his son's back. Toshinori lurked behind Izuku, holding up the statute with one hand.

Hisashi raised an eyebrow. "I said all the merchandise you can carry. You alone."

"Is anyone else here?" Izuku made a show of looking around. "I don't see anyone." Toshinori tried to shrink as much as such a tall man could.

"Do you actually need a life-sized All Might statute?" Hisashi pinched his forehead.

"Yes, I do," Izuku said. He gazed up with adorably pleading eyes.

Hisashi sighed and reached for his wallet. Oh, the irony of All for One's criminal empire being one of the pillars propping up the hero merchandise industry.


Standing on the beach, Izuku asked, "Uncle Toshi, do you think I can become a hero?"

Toshinori grinned. "Sure, of course! Do you want a quirk to help you with that? Because I have this quirk that I can pass along to other people."

Izuku's eyes widened. "That's so cool! I've never heard of a transferable quirk before. I have so many questions for you. Let me get out my notebook."

"Also, I'm All Might. Should I have mentioned that sooner?"

Izuku's fanboy shriek broke glass windows miles away.

As soon as the boy calmed down, Toshinori offered a hair.

After swallowing, Izuku said, "I don't feel any different."

"It takes a while to start working." Toshinori squinted. "Are your eyes glowing?"

"Are they?" Izuku asked. "I can't tell."

"It might be a trick of the light. But I would swear you've got a certain glow about you, like sparkles off a shoujo anime hero. Your clothes look extremely wrinkle-free."

"Does One for All do that?" Izuku asked.

"Not at all," Toshinori said.

The two of them stared at each other. Toshinori scratched his head. "One for All is a bit of an odd quirk. I'm sure the super-strength will be along shortly. Would you like me to start training you in the meantime?"


Only after giving One for All to Izuku did Toshinori realize that maybe he should have asked for parental permission first. Oh, well. He was sure Hisashi wouldn't mind.

Just to soften the news, he showed up at his friend's house with a bottle of expensive wine.

Taking it, Hisashi asked, "What's the occasion we're celebrating?"

"I just gave Izuku my quirk. I know, hard to believe, but I have a transferrable quirk. It's called One for All."

The room temperature dropped noticeably.


A grim silence had fallen over the vestiges.

The Third said, "I can't believe that moron got himself vaulted."

Yoichi clapped his hands, demanding attention. "Now, now, no need to be so hard on Eighth. Who among us hasn't been vaulted before?"

The Third said, "That only ever happened to you."

"Exactly, and I'm awesome," Yoichi said. "If I had a nickel for every time a One for All user got thrown in a bank vault, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't that much, but it's weird that it happened twice."

The Second clutched his head and groaned. "The Eighth is a dud! The Nineth is a dud! Do you think maybe the Tenth will kill All for One for us?"

Nana glared. "Now you're calling my grandson a dud too?" Her strangling fingers twitched. The Second backed away.

"Yeah, give my nephew a chance," Yoichi said. "Don't assume that just because All for One is his father, they won't fight each other. I can tell you from personal experience that there's nothing like being forced to live with All for One to make you want to murder him."

The Third scowled. "I'm going to go stare at the wall now. Don't disturb me for anything except an epic showdown against All for One."


OMAKE TIME!

Omake: Peace Across Japan on Fridays

Toshinori: I've never once had to miss my Friday evening movie night with Hisashi, because All for One never attacks then. It's almost like he has a regular engagement on Fridays, just like me. Huh. I bet he's seeing a throat doctor for all his monologuing.

Hisashi: Funny how All Might never comes after me on Friday evenings. I bet that's when he gets his ridiculous hair done.

#

Omake: The Conspiracy Thickens

Shouto: Since around the time of my birth, All Might has been asking my father for parenting advice. Or so he complains all the time over the dinner table. Clearly, All Might has a love child about the same age as me. When I attend U.A., I'm going to find out who it is!

#

Omake: Zero Self-Awareness

Hisashi: If Toshinori Yagi is All Might, then who's his nasty coworker with the ego the size of Tokyo Stadium?

Hisashi: …

Hisashi: It must be Sir Nighteye.

#

Omake: Commentary from the Void

First: Three nickels!

Second: Stop sounding so weirdly triumphant about Nineth getting vaulted! No one is actually giving you nickels!


Author's Note: As Yoichi hoped, Izuku proved quite willing to destroy anything between him and rescuing All Might. Hell hath no fury like a pissed-off fanboy with three dozen quirks. Hisashi definitely regretted giving him such a powerful vault-melting flame.

Fortunately for Hisashi, Tartarus has recently been reformed. These days there are comfy rooms and therapy. Loads of therapy. Because Hisashi has been a way better dad in this AU, both Izuku and Toshinori still care about him after the reveal and will try to help him.

Yoichi argued that he ought to get four nickels on the grounds that All for One counted as the Zeroth user of One for All.