((A/n. so im updating pretty fast now because I really feel like writing this story.
Unavailable Penname - Its hard to come up with a summary. Just listen to the song it should make sense))
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I walked back to my dorm, feeling a lot better than I had before. I decided that I need to act like nothing happened and act like my old self. My old Danger Cruz self. No guy can penetrate my wall. Especially not Logan. He's the last person I want to do that.
I opened the door and collapsed onto my bed. It was weird not having roommates. Things seemed so quiet. This was the first time since I left home to come to PCA that I haven't shared with anyone. I couldn't stand the silence so I got up and turned my laptop on and opened iTunes and put it on shuffle and blasted my music.
I was acting like a crazy person. Dancing and singing and having a grand old time when there was a knock on the door. I froze, not expecting anyone to be coming. I ran over to my laptop and stopped the song. I walked to the door and slowly opened it, half expecting it to be CoCo ready to kill me for interrupting Leno.
"Oh, hey Zo. I thought you were gonna be CoCo coming to yell at me" I said She laughed
"Nope, just me. Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine, I just needed to get away..I was just a little freaked out that's all." I smiled weakly. I knew Zoey wouldn't buy it but I had to try.
"Dana, come on sometimes bothering you. And I know it.. You can't hide it from me.." I opened the door wider and she walked in and sat on my bed. I looked at the floor. I knew I had to tell her.
"Dana?"
I looked up.
"Its just.. Logan... He was acting all friendly towards me. And I don't get why. And then I remembered how excited I had been to come back, to see him. And... it freaked me out."
"Wait... you missed Logan?" zoey asked her eyes had grown wide.
"I...I'm not sure.. I mean I missed his antics. In France I didn't have anyone like that, no one to annoy and stuff. But then I come back, and I was half expecting him to be his annoying self and make me want to wring his neck. But all of the sudden hes become all nice. And its weird. And I found myself staring to..." I stopped and looked away from Zoey.
"Starting to what Dana?"
I didn't answer. I walked over to the window and saw the rest of the gang walking back from Sushi Rox.
"Oh my god. You're starting to like him aren't you!" Zoey said loudly, finally figuring it out.
I looked down at the ground.
"A bit..." I said quietly, then looked up
"But thats what scared me. I know Logan, and all he does is hurt people. And I don't want to be one of the stupid girls he crushes. You know me, that's not me. He was starting to break my walls down. And it scared the hell out of me Zo."
"Oh Dana. Don't worry, it'll all get better soon. And I know you probably don't want to hear this.. But he really does care about you.. I don't think he'd hurt you.. Not intentionally anyways.."
I looked back out the window and saw them all walking into Brenner Hall.
"You better go...they're gonna be looking for you." I looked over at Zo. She gave me a concerned look then got up and walked out the door.
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I looked at Dana as I left her room
'poor Dana...' I thought. I knew she liked him.. But she just wouldn't go for it because she doesn't want to be hurt. I guess that explains why she was always the tough girl. Trying to hide behind her walls and just save herself from getting hurt. She seemed so unsure of herself. Almost like she was very self conscience and shy.
I walked into the lounge and saw the others sitting on the couches talking and playing Confess or Stress.
"Hey Zo, were playing confess or stress, wanna join?" Lola asked.
"Nah, I think I'll sit this one out."
I sat down on the chair opposite of them. But noone seemed to want to continue the game
"So did you find out why she left?" Nicole asked. What to say...
"Yeah. She wasn't feeling well. A bit jet lagged still from all the traveling she's done in the past couple of days"
Nice save. I thought to myself as the others all seemed to buy it.
I felt bad for not telling them the truth, especially Logan. But if she wanted him to know she would've told him, but I know she'll tell him when she's ready.
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I turned itunes back on after she left. And turned it back to shuffle. The song I had been listening to ended and I just layed on my bed not bothering to get up, I decided whatever played, played. I had a feeling I'd probably fall asleep during it anyways.
And go figure that it was a song that scared the hell out of me. Something that I never want to happen.
(A Girl Can Dream - PYT)
When I was a child a story would say
Somebody would sweep you off your feet some day
That's what I hoped would happen with you
More than you could know
I wanted to tell you that my hearts in your hands
I prayed for the day that I will get a chance
Just when i worked up the courage to try
Much to my surprise
You had somebody else
Yeah
Cause these feelings I keep to myself
I may never get to hold you so tight
I may never get to kiss you goodnight
I may never get to look deep in your eyes
So it seems
I always will be wishing
You were mine
I think about what could be all the time
All the happiness that I could find baby
A girl can dream
From the moment i wake up till i fall asleep
I imagine your not with her but with me
talking and laughing
sharing our dreams
Its just a fantasyCause you had somebody else
Cause these feelings I keep to myself
I may never get to hold you so tight
I may never get to kiss you goodnight
I may never get to look deep in your eyes
So it seems
I always will be wishing
You were mine
I think about what could be all the time
All the happiness that I could find baby
A girl can dream
A girl can dream
It's true
And to call you my own
Its the sweetest dream of all
ooh
ooh
I may never get to hold you so tight
I may never get to kiss you goodnight
I may never get to look deep in your eyes
So it seems
I always will be wishing
You were mine
I think about what could be all the time
All the happiness that I could find Baby
A Girl Can dream
I really don't want that to happen to me. I mean yeah I do care about Logan, and I know that would hurt me, almost as bad as if I did tell him how I feel. I can't deal with this right now.
I got up and shut my computer down and decided that to go to sleep and deal with it all tomorrow. It was just too much for one night.
