marketable
eggstasy

Summary:
Jealous Inner Kirishima has a better vocabulary than Actual Life Kirishima, who just has to open his mouth to make stupid words fall out in the wrong order. Bakugou throws a laundered sweat towel at his face and says, "Quit leaving your shit downstairs," and Kirishima answers him with, "Thanks for my towel washing it," which leads to him sinking down in his chair and trying not to die.

People notice.


"Are you Bakugou?"

Kirishima glances over at the unfamiliar voice. Some girl with a truly impressive tower of hair strides across their classroom and stops, predictably, right in front of Bakugou's desk. Out of the corner of his eye Kirishima sees Midoriya lean across his own desk nervously, fingers tapping too-quick on the top of it like he's preparing to scramble away. Or maybe over to the girl. To save her life, probably.

The girl just slams her hands on her hips as she smirks down at Bakugou. "You're him, right? Bakugou Katsuki. Hard to mistake that angry mug."

"Hoo-hoooo," Kaminari crows in delight, leaning into Kirishima's shoulder.

"The fuck do you want," Bakugou growls, feet still up on his desk, hands still in his pockets and looking for all the world that he would rather have a bagfull of dogshit for lunch than to talk to this stranger another second. "If you're here to ask about any villain bullshit-"

"Ah, no, don't care about that. Well- I do, but not in the way you think." She juts her hip to the side and flashes a truly marketable grin. Maybe she's from the Department of Management? She has to be. Everybody who comes out of there has ridiculously white teeth. "See, I was wondering if you had any prospective managers lined up yet."

Bakugou stares at her in furious befuddlement, confused and angry at the thing confusing him. "What the fuck? No."

"Great! That's excellent, means I'm the first." The girl sticks out her hand. "I'm Fukuyo Ruri. You can call me Ruriko, everybody does."

"I'm not calling you shit until you tell me what the fuck you want," Bakugou snaps, finally kicking his feet off his desk.

"Good, good, this is great!" Ruriko withdraws her hand to clap and rub her palms together. "I'm really getting a feel for your personality. I'll be a great manager for you, Bakugou."

Bakugou freezes.

Kirishima freezes.

Everybody within earshot freezes (which Kirishima is sure consists of the entire class, since her voice really carries, like, a lot).

"You want to be my manager," Bakugou says, flatter than a board.

Ruriko beams smugly, somehow. "I'm going to be your manager."

Kirishima covers his mouth too late to hide his shocked laugh. This girl cannot die. She's given all of them the most wonderful gift, a chance to see Bakugou both so completely flabbergasted and so utterly enraged that it's all getting stopped up in the pipes and making him shake like a boiler about to blow. "Okay," Kirishima whispers lowly to Kaminari, who digs into his side conspiratorially like a true bro. "I'm gonna go distract Bakugou. You get the manager girl to a safe distance-"

"What're your grades like?"

If Kirishima stops short one more time his brain is going to forget how to move at a normal pace.

Ruriko looks like the only one who isn't surprised by the half-growled question. "Second to top in my class." She smooths back her already impeccably sculpted hair. "I'll be top of the year by the end of this semester, mark my words. I've already got an internship lined up for next year, and my portfolio-"

"Fine, fine." Bakugou lifts his chin and props his feet back up on his desk. "I'll think about it."

"Wha-hat the fuck," Kaminari whispers into Kirishima's ear. Or his hair, since Kirishima's turned around to fully face this debacle and try to figure out how he managed to misunderstand Bakugou. Wasn't that him shaking in rage just moments ago? What the hell happened?

"Hey, think about it quick, would you?" Ruriko pulls out a shiny silver case and unsnaps it, sliding an actual business card onto Bakugou's desk when he doesn't take it. "I've got a couple other prospects. I want you the most, but time is money and the earlier this sort of thing gets ironed out, the better it is for everyone involved."

Bakugou curls his lip at her. "Don't rush me, asshole."

"It's Ruriko!" She waggles her fingers, tucks the case back into her skirt and waltzes for the door. "Sorry for interrupting your class," she calls back over her shoulder to the room and then she's gone. The room feels less full without her and her hair in it, so maybe that's why Kirishima finds he can suddenly draw in a full breath when he'd been holding it moments ago.


"The fuck is your damage?" Bakugou asks him later, which is indicative of there being a huge, huge problem with his face. Bakugou doesn't care what other people's damage is, not even Kirishima's.

"I'm not damaged," Kirishima tells him as he picks at his bread.

"Liar."

Bakugou comes to class with a bento, every day, without fail. Some of their classmates go to the cafeteria for the food there because it's amazing, and Kirishima is no exception, but sometimes a guy wants to eat crappy junk food for lunch and that's when he buys bread or snacks and lugs his spoils over to where Bakugou eats his lunch outside, behind the southern steps, also every day without fail.

"How come you don't eat in the cafeteria?" Kirishima asks, hoping that if he switches tacks Bakugou will decide it's too much work to give a shit.

Bakugou levels him with a glare to let him know he hasn't completely escaped, but just plucks up another mouthful of rice. "Like my food a certain way."

"What kind of way?" Kirishima asks, and then he gets an idea so he leans forward with a grin. "Is it really good? You make them yourself, right? Lemme try!"

Bakugou shoves his foot against Kirishima's side and pushes. "Fuck off."

"C'mon, lemme taste it!"

"Go the fuck away, hair for brains! Eat your shitty fucking bread!"

Sometimes Kaminari or someone else will join them, but more often than not it's just he and Bakugou out here in the shade of the trees, hilltop breezes not blocked by the buildings ruffling their hair and dropping leaves into their food if they're not careful.

Kirishima likes it when nobody joins them. Call him selfish or pathetic, but these few short moments alone with Bakugou are kind of the highlight of his day.

"So what was the deal with Ruriko?"

Bakugou stares at him blankly. There's a grain of rice on his chin and Kirishima is going to die.

"…the manager girl who came to our classroom today," Kirishima follows up.

"Oh." Bakugou returns to his lunch. "Fuck, you heard her. She wants to find her talent early so she came to me."

"She was pretty confident," Kirishima muses, resting his chin in his hand. "And you didn't blow her up, which is like a gold star in your book."

"Fuck off, no it's not." Bakugou swallows. "This sort of shit happens in these schools, moron."

Kirishima picks at a blade of grass. "Oh?"

"Obviously, since it just did."

"Is that so…"

Bakugou's glaring again, so Kirishima stuffs his bread into his mouth and says nothing more.


Ruriko doesn't come back to the classroom for the rest of the week, but one of the other Management students slips in to try and chat up Todoroki. That affair is much quieter and ends with Todoroki shoving a card into his pocket and then asking, "What?" when everybody just stares, waiting for details.

A manager student, he says. Looking to pick up talent early, he says. "I've been getting that sort of thing since I was in middle school though," Todoroki tells them in that deadpan, unassuming way of his and across the classroom Bakugou flips him the bird so hard that Kirishima is surprised he doesn't sprain something.

Saturday lets out early and Kirishima spends it working out and playing video games with Kaminari. Sunday he works out, plays more video games and then desperately tries to finish up the homework he absolutely was not procrastinating on, he just forgot.

Monday comes and with it a new storm.

"You called me!"

Ruriko lets herself into their classroom moments before the bell. Iida jumps up and does that hand thing and yells, "You will be late for your own class! I must insist you leave at once!"

Ruriko deals with that how Kirishima imagines she deals with a lot of things, by handing Iida a business card. "You've probably already got people lined up to represent you, but let me know if it doesn't work out!"

She leaves Iida torn between incensed and flattered. Kirishima watches her go with a small sense of wonder; not only is she immune to Bakugou's temper, she got Iida to stop lecturing. What the hell do they teach those management kids?


"Wait, so you did call her!" Kaminari is with Kirishima and Bakugou at lunch today and Kirishima is actually kind of relieved, which is unusual.

"You're so fucking stupid," Bakugou says, which isn't unusual.

Kaminari glowers half-heartedly and shoves his lunch into his mouth. "God, you're such a dick." Talking with his mouth full. Also normal. So the only weird one here is Kirishima. "Dude, are you okay?"

"Yeah," says Kirishima. He doesn't follow it up with anything and Bakugou and Kaminari both stare at him for it, so he waves his hands. "I'm okay! Not sick or anything, just. Kinda bummed."

"Bummed?" Kaminari looks him over, like the reasons for why would be stamped somewhere on his uniform or something. "What for? Jealous that Bakugou's getting singled out again?"

"I'm not jealous," Kirishima says, too fast. Shit.

Bakugou's head snaps up. The guy can smell weakness like blood in the water, the bastard, and he's not going to let go anything that even smacks of a perceived slight. "Are you fucking jealous?" Bakugou accuses.

Kirishima's heart pounds and he's sure his face going dark red isn't helping his argument. "I just said I'm not jealous! Don't put words in my mouth."

"This is fucking stupid." Bakugou closes up his lunch and leaves. "Fuck you."

Kaminari stares after him, then stares at Kirishima. "What the hell was that?"

The worst part is that Kirishima doesn't even know.


Bakugou isn't in his lunch spot the next day.

Kirishima sits there and debates looking for him. Maybe it's too pathetic. They had a fight, sort of, after all. On the other hand, Bakugou is always at his spot and wouldn't move on account of having a fight. He'd just tell the other person to get lost. But he'd left of his own accord yesterday, and-

Kirishima decides to stop thinking about it and goes looking.

He finds Bakugou in the cafeteria, and sitting across from him is Ruriko.

"What do you want," Bakugou grunts, shoveling his lunch into his mouth. Ruriko seems like she's doing homework, and the beaming smile she sends Kirishima's way is a lot less endearing than he first thought.

"You weren't at your spot."

"So?"

"So…you're always there."

"Yeah, and you aren't always there, so what the fuck do you care?"

Kirishima doesn't have a good answer for that.

"Okay," Ruriko says, and slides the notebook she's scribbling in across the table. "Tell me what you think of these."

Kirishima tries not to peek because spying isn't manly, though the temptation is great.

"What the fuck is wrong with King of-"

"Because Midnight already vetoed it and if I'm being honest, she saved your life. You are terrible at making up names."

"Fuck you!" Bakugou slams his chopsticks onto the table. "I'm fucking great at making up names!"

"You mean his hero name?"

Ruriko grins and rests her chin in her hand. "Yup. I heard about that fiasco from your classmate. Uraraka? Know her? She's so friendly! I like her. Anyway, she told me what happened. I like Blasty McSplode, it's super cute. Not too good for a serious hero, though."

Kirishima knows all of that already. Why does she know all of that? Blasty McSplode is supposed to be a Class 1-A in-joke. Normally he's all about sharing the laughs, but he came up with that nickname himself. Aren't there copyright laws against that? "Well- I mean, I wasn't being serious. It was a joke."

"Right, right."

"These all suck," Bakugou declares, and tosses the notebook back at her.

"Whaaaat?" Ruriko pouts and wrinkles her nose at him, laying the notebook flat. "I thought Ground Zero was good!"

"You fucking kidding me? It has the word zero in it. That's nothing like me."

"You're so particular," she mutters, drawing bold, angry lines through the options.

"I'm not the fucking particular one! I already picked my goddamn name, you fucking hair idiot!"

Kirishima doesn't quite realize that he's reached up to touch his own hair.

"Ruriko. And you can't use King of Explodokills. You have to look at market trends! First of all, it's too long…"

Kirishima doesn't hear what the second reason is because he's already walking away.


"Let me see if I understand you correctly." Sero uses his finger to scrape up Nutella from the wall of the nearly empty jar. "You're not jealous."

"Yeah."

"You're just upset."

"Yeah."

"Because Bakugou used a similar insult with some girl from the Management Department as the one he uses for you."

Kirishima picks his head up from the counter. "I mean, for me it's not really an insult, it's almost kind of like a nickname. 'Cause at the sports festival when he saw me, he didn't remember my name so-"

"Dude, stop talking." Sero gives him a pitying look. "…You're jealous."

Kirishima sighs and plunks his elbows on the counter. "I know."

"You're jealous of some girl taking all of Bakugou's attention away from you, 'cause you used to be his only friend so whenever you wanted to hang with him, he was available. And now he's using nicknames and getting teased by some chick and not showing up at you guys' spot in favor of meeting up with her, so you're super duper gradeschool jealous that some girl took your friend."

Kirishima stares down at the counter.

"…or the guy you wanna kiss? Holy shit Kirishima, you wanna date Bakugou!" Sero throws the jar into the sink, something that's sure to get him in trouble with the clean freaks in their dorm later. "Amazing. I didn't realize how far your masochism went. Wow, dude, wow."

"Shut uuuup," Kirishima groans, leaning dangerously far back on his stool and covering his face. "I know! I know, okay, believe me, I know. This is so dumb!"

"And unmanly."

Kirishima points, with feeling. It's that, for sure. Jealousy is so unmanly.

"Okay, so, confess or something. And let me record it, I wanna show everybody what happens."

"Jerk." Kirishima aims a kick at Sero's stool. "I can't just go confess. Not now! I gotta do it when he's like, not all pissed at me and stuff."

"You wanna wait until Bakugou's not pissed about something to confess?"

"Well- I mean if you say it like that, it sounds stupid."

"That's cuz it's stupid."

Kirishima groans and presses his face back against the counter.

"Look, if it makes you feel any better, I don't think that Ruriko girl wants to date Bakugou. Because she's a sane person who values herself, unlike you."

"Thanks," Kirishima mumbles.

"I'm just saying, you probably don't have to worry about competition with that. Like, you really, really don't have to worry. If there's another person in this school who wants to date Bakugou, I'll eat my own tape."

Kirishima sighs at Sero. "You're not that great at reassuring people."

"Are you serious? Eating my own tape would be disgusting. It's like licking up your own sweat."

"Gross, dude."

"Yeah, see?"


Now that he's admitted his crush aloud to another living person, Kirishima feels the effects of it acutely. Every time Bakugou turns that carefully-pissed-but-actually-neutral look onto someone else, Kirishima wants to jump in the way. Mine, he'd scream, throwing out his arms to hide Bakugou's face from the interloper. That look is mine. You can't have it. And every time Bakugou does something like accept someone else's opinion, Kirishima wants to elbow his way into the conversation and say, Do you even know how big a deal this is, that he's listening to you like this? Are you properly grateful? Shall I educate you?

Jealous Inner Kirishima has a better vocabulary than Actual Life Kirishima, who just has to open his mouth to make stupid words fall out in the wrong order. Bakugou throws a laundered sweat towel at his face and says, "Quit leaving your shit downstairs," and Kirishima answers him with, "Thanks for my towel washing it," which leads to him sinking down in his chair and trying not to die.

People notice.

"You're being weird," Tsuyu tells him, never one to sugarcoat things. They're doing pullups together. Or Kirishima's doing pullups, and Tsuyu is dangling from the bar from her legs and occasionally bending up to touch her knees. Kirishima doesn't like to judge other people's workout routines but her face is going awfully red.

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Okay." Tsuyu hops down from the bar. "You should definitely tell Bakugou that you like him."

Kirishima likewise drops down from the bar, only his fall is unintentional and he lands with his ass on the mats. "Wha- who told you?!"

"Your face told me." Tsuyu grabs his arm to help him up. "You're not subtle."

"Shiiit," Kirishima moans, scrubbing his hands through his sweaty hair.

"Try not to stare so much if you're keeping it a secret," she tells him kindly, and shuffles off to the exercise bikes.

Ashido finds him too, and all but screams in his face about how he should 'definitely totally oh my god ask Bakugou out, ohmygod, never thought you would be the first couple but it makes so much sense, he totally owes you for saving his life, it's so romantic' and Kirishima has to shush her no less than six times because they're in the common area, Ashido, please.

"Ask him out." Ashido punches Kirishima in the arm and ow, hey, that kind of hurts. "Ask him out right now!"

Kirishima rubs his arm. "I don't even know if he likes guys, Ashido."

The look Ashido gives him is so disgusted that Kirishima wonders for the rest of the night if he actually said something horribly offensive.

Turns out Kirishima doesn't have to ask Bakugou anything, because a week later Bakugou comes over to his desk before class, kicks it so hard it almost topples over and asks, "Why the fuck're you avoiding me, hair for brains?!"

Kirishima squints up at Bakugou and tries to recall the last time he was at his usual lunch spot. Ten days ago? Twelve? "You started avoiding me first."

"Fuck you, I did not!"

"Dude, you totally did! You got all pissed and stormed off during lunch and then you stopped eating outside so I figured you didn't wanna talk to me!"

Bakugou squints right back.

Kirishima folds his arms.

"Well-!" Bakugou kicks Kirishima's desk again, lightly this time, and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Well, fuck, I'm not avoiding you now, am I?"

"Yeah, well!" Kirishima doesn't have anything to follow that up with so he just gestures, a thing that's meant to encompass everything that Bakugou is, and says, and has been doing to him for the past two weeks. Bakugou doesn't get it, which Kirishima doesn't think is entirely his fault, and it doesn't matter anyway since that's when Aizawa comes in and tells them all that he's tired and doesn't want to deal with their idiocy today, so sit down, Bakugou.

Kirishima takes Tsuyu's advice to heart and desperately tries to keep from staring, but he can feel Bakugou's eyes on him like someone breathing down the back of his neck.


Ruriko comes by their classroom and Kirishima is getting tired of automatically being mean when she shows up. It doesn't stop him from huffing and looking away as she crosses the classroom, but he's sure he'll feel bad about it later.

"I need to ask you a favor."

Kaminari has to jab him in the back before Kirishima glances forward to see Ruriko standing in front of his desk, and not Bakugou's. "…wait, me? You need a favor from me?"

"Yep, from you!" Ruriko winks and Kirishima wonders if she practices it in the mirror. It was idol-level cute. It's annoying how fake cute that was. "Could you meet me before lunch, Red Riot? Great name, by the way."

Does she want help thinking up a serious hero name for Bakugou or something? "Uh. Sure, yeah, of course. Inside?"

"How about the west corridor?"

"Sounds good." Ruriko flashes another bright white smile before turning to glance at where Bakugou is staring at them from his desk, and then strides right out of the classroom without even a single hello. "What just happened?" Kirishima whispers.

"Looks like you got a date with Bakugou's girlfriend."

"Why does she want to talk to me?"

"Because she's thinking about upgrading?"

Kirishima turns around to look at Kaminari.

"I'm just saying." Kaminari shrugs. "I'd trade in for you too."

"Thanks, dude."

"Don't mention it."


"Oh great! You came." Ruriko pushes off of the wall and Kirishima almost feels a little bad for purposefully being five minutes late. "Look, I need you to make up with Bakugou."

Kirishima doesn't exactly pride himself on his disposition; he gets told a lot that he's got the temperament of a good hero, though he can sometimes rush in because of it. A good hero cares without bias, Crimson Riot had said in one of his interviews ages ago. He'd always believed in that, that caring sometimes took work but was an integral part of being a good hero. He built his life upon a foundation with that belief in the bricks and mortar. He wants the Riot name to carry on the tradition of always, always caring for everyone, without exception.

Having a crush on Bakugou Katsuki is seriously impeding that goal.

"You need me to make up with Bakugou." Kirishima can't settle on whether he wants to be more curious or more annoyed, so he folds his arms and tries desperately to withhold judgment. He has no reason to dislike this girl. All she's done is try her very best to excel in class, just like anybody else at this school. But still, she needs him to make up with Bakugou?

"Yep." Ruriko sighs and straightens her already perfect hair. "Look, you're the closest to him so you already know-"

"How do you-"

"Of course I know that! Everybody knows that, c'mon. He's impossible to handle, as I'm sure you're aware, but he's a hundred times worse and it's got to be because he's fighting with you." Ruriko dusts off her sleeves. "So, please, could you make up with him?"

Kirishima rubs at his mouth. "You want me to make up with him so he's easier to handle."

Ruriko points. "Yes."

"Because he's difficult to deal with because we're fighting."

She gives him a thumbs-up. Does she have a gesture for everything? "Exactly."

Kirishima folds his arms again. "…no."

That she's not even surprised by his answer, just visibly put out, is sincerely irritating. "What, are you still mad at him?"

"No, I'm not."

"Come on," she groans, flapping her arms. "You want to make up with him anyway, right?"

"Not because his proto-manager told me to! Besides, isn't that kind of cold of you?"

"Cold how?"

"You don't care about him!"

It's not until he realizes his voice is ringing down the hallway that Kirishima realizes how loudly he'd shouted that. His face burns but he refuses to back down from this. It's already out, and it's not manly to run away from a conversation that needs to be had. Ruriko is staring at him consideringly, looking awful shrewd and Kirishima realizes that for once, she's not wearing some pre-packaged friendly expression.

"But you do. A lot, huh?"

Kirishima swallows, but nods.

Ruriko chews on her lip. "Alright. I won't bug you about it." She sighs and straightens her clothes again and Kirishima wonders, in a sudden flash of insight, if she's doing it not because she wants to be sure she's presentable but because she's nervous. Talking to him. After dealing with Bakugou for weeks. "Look- I'm not trying to horn in on anybody's turf or anything."

"Bakugou's not my turf," Kirishima protests, albeit weakly, because he kinda sorta thought he was. In certain aspects, maybe, yeah.

"I mean it. I don't know him well enough to care about him yet, but I do believe he's gonna make it big." Ruriko leans forward, lowering her voice. "I just think he's gonna need help once he gets there. That's what I'm getting trained for. Helping you guys out."

Shame settles onto Kirishima's shoulders and his face burns, again. "I'm sorry for shouting at you."

"Don't even worry about it, I'm in management." She waves a hand, her grin softer than usual, though it sits awkwardly on her face. "I'm sorry I butted my nose in."

"You weren't…"

"It's okay, I get it. I've got my own crush to work on."

Like magic, he's weightless. Of course she isn't trying to get with Bakugou; it's just like Sero said, she's not even remotely interested. It was just her trying to do her job, or her training for her job, which is to get to know the hero she's representing and make them as successful as possible. It's not personal or anything like that. Who marries their agent, anyway?


"Historically, lots of heroes," Sero tells him later when Kirishima reports in. "But like I said, you don't have to worry about her."

"I'm not worried. " Kirishima stretches out on the couch. "Not anymore."

"Okay, so. Step two." Ashido pushes herself up off a beanbag chair and flops onto the couch beside Kirishima. "Now you tell Bakugou you like him! And then you guys kiss, and date, and it's cute and we're all happy for you, the end."

"It's not gonna be that simple," Kirishima mutters.

The look exchanged by Ashido and Sero feels unfair. How come they get that level of communication between them while everybody else is still fumbling around with words and tone of voice? It just doesn't seem right.

"What's not gonna be simple?"

Kirishima's heart leaps into his throat and he spins around to see, to his abject horror, the object of his affections strolling over from the elevators, hands in his pockets and chin tilted up like he's already decided he owns the room, regardless of the occupants.

Ashido's fingers jabbing into his side grab his attention, but he can't move. Bakugou still hasn't looked away from his face, brow furrowed, eyes narrowed. If Kirishima didn't know any better, he'd think Bakugou looked nervous, but that can't be true.

"So we're leaving," Ashido says loudly, shoving off of Kirishima and standing up.

"What? No I wanna see this."

"We're going!"

"Ashido, come on!"

Kirishima barely notices she and Sero walking past Bakugou, but he does notice the way Bakugou's jaw twitches as he turns to watch them disappear into the elevator. Have mercy, Kirishima begs silently. I can't take much more of this.

"So?"

Kirishima startles when that mouth he'd been staring at moves. Making sounds at him. Bakugou's talking to him, and looking at him. He's the sole focus of Bakugou's attention, and after wanting nothing but that for weeks he's got no idea what to do with it. "Ssssoo…?"

Bakugou's lip curls up as he sneers. Kirishima wishes he knew some actual prayers that he could chant in his head, like Buddhist sutras or something. "So what's not simple, dumbass?"

"See, actually I was having that conversation with two other people…"

"Who left."

"Uh."

"Probably because they fuckin' know you have something to say to me-"

"Now hold on-"

"-but your un-manly ass is too chickenshit to say it."

"Whoa hey!" Kirishima vaults up from the couch, face burning. "Don't you call me un-manly!"

Bakugou gestures and Kirishima's kind of pissed off that he can still find Bakugou's hands and arms and whole body super attractive even when he's being a supreme jerk. "What the fuck is this then?"

"What's what?"

"This! You fucking sitting there like I'm so stupid I'm gonna buy any more of your dumbass dodging bullshit! Why're you still avoiding me?"

This is the worst part: Kirishima still doesn't know. He didn't know why he was upset Bakugou was getting a stranger's attention. He didn't know why it bothered him so bad that Bakugou had used a nickname like his on another person. And now, staring at Bakugou as he huffs and glares, Kirishima is so frustrated to find that still, now, he doesn't know why he's afraid to tell Bakugou the simple truth. It might screw something up, but things are pretty screwed up. Bakugou's not going to let this go so Kirishima's options are pretty limited. He can tell the truth and risk wrecking their friendship, or he can lie and wreck it that way instead.

"Did I do something?"

For the hundredth time, for hopefully the last, Kirishima just. Stops.

"You talked to that fuckin' Ruriko chick, so I know it's not 'cause you're pissed off about the manager thing." Bakugou's expression is still lined, hard and angry, but now Kirishima can see. The defensive pull of his shoulders, the way he still hasn't pulled his other hand out of his pocket, that faint, barely-there tremble of uncertainty in his voice. "So was it just- did I fucking say something, or-"

"I like you."

It's deeply satisfying to watch someone else stop instead of always being subjected to it, but Kirishima can't really savor it. Not when it's Bakugou staring at him in confusion, brow furrowed and mouth just a little open, still halfway formed around whatever it was he was going to say. Kirishima couldn't hear it anymore. Let him be responsible for wrecking this, if Bakugou's gonna try and blame himself for it.

Kirishima looks down and kneels on the couch, pulling at a loose thread sticking out of a seam. "Like, as in like. I didn't wanna freak you out, so." It feels so lame, and Bakugou's right, totally un-manly to just mutter it like this but Kirishima doesn't think he's got it in him to look at Bakugou's face right now. Especially not if he's going to be upset or grossed out.

"You serious?"

Kirishima sneaks a glance. Bakugou's expression is severe. "Dead serious, man."

He takes a step forward. "If you're making fun of me I swear to god-"

"I'm not." Kirishima laughs, covering his face and digging his fingers into his hair for just a second. "Oh man, I promise, I'm totally not. If anybody here is gonna come outta this looking stupid, it's me."

"Why?"

"'Cause I'm the one who'd get rejected, I mean obviously, the rejected person is the one who looks dumb."

"No- you." Bakugou makes an impatient sound. His face goes red and it feels impossible, there's no way. "I mean why- d'you, just." He gestures again, with those nice strong hands, and Kirishima's heart pounds so hard in his chest he's sure Bakugou can hear it. Maybe he does because he keeps going, struggling along. "It's- not something that I'm- people don't usually like people who, y'know, shit, just-"

"Do you like me too?" Bakugou makes a strangled noise and Kirishima falls over the back of the couch he jumps up and rushes over, right into Bakugou's space, even as he leans away. Hope swells greater and eats up his fears, his doubt, everything until it's the only thing left. No way, no way no way. "Bro do you like me? Are you crushing on me?"

"F-fuck you," Bakugou stammers.

"OH my god!" Kirishima grabs Bakugou's arms, his great, awesome, beefy manly arms and gives him a shake, which was probably a mistake since Bakugou snarls and karate chops his side. "Wait," he wheezes when Bakugou whirls around to storm off, "wait wait, don't go! Dude, do you? You gotta say it! I gotta know for sure!"

"Jesus Christ," Bakugou snaps, glaring somewhere around Kirishima's knees, entire head going crimson all the way to the tips of his ears and oh shit, oh shit it's the cutest thing. Oh no Kirishima's dead. "Fuck, isn't it obvious yet?! Shit!"

"Oh my god." Kirishima can't grab Bakugou's hands because he's burrowed them into his pockets so deeply he might be trying to tunnel to the other side of the world, so instead he grabs onto his shoulders and looks deep into his eyes. "Dude. Please date me. Please please be my boyfriend."

One of Kirishima's favorite shows growing up had this one character who, when he got mad, would fill up red like pouring juice into a glass. Kirishima always thought it was weird; who goes red like that, from the neck up, like a rising thermometer?

Bakugou does.


No less than ten people come up to him during class the next day to tell him they heard Bakugou screaming, and what the hell was that about, what did you even do, Kirishima. Even Shouji says he heard it, but the guy can make infinite ears so Kirishima's not sure how apologetic to be. Still, that's the fourth floor. That's some reverberation.

Ashido corners him during their practical class where they're learning how to effectively clear rubble. Kirishima is on the frontlines with that considering his indestructibility, and Ashido sniffs him out like a bloodhound who has been trained to seek freshly boyfriended people. "Did you do it?" she hisses.

Kirishima grunts and rolls a slab of concrete out of the way. "…yeah."

Ashido screams so loud that everybody comes running. She manages to ask, "And he-?!" before they get there, and he nods and she screams again and Aizawa tells her wearily to pipe down, for pete's sake, it's nine A.M. and there's no reason for her to be an insane person at such a godforsaken hour.

He wonders if Bakugou will be upset, if he wanted to keep it a secret, so when they go to lunch together (together! In their spot!) Kirishima asks him.

"What? Fuck." Bakugou goes that wonderful shade of pink and glowers down at his bento. "I don't know."

It has been one day. One day. How has he gone from crushing to dumb and desperately head-over-heels in the span of, like, not even fifteen hours? "Apparently I'm really obvious, so I think everybody already knows."

"Shit."

"You're gonna start being obvious if you keep blushing like this."

"Then fuckin' stop making me blush, dickhead!"

Ohhh, he loves him. He loves him, he loves him, he loves him. "Look, Blasty-"

"Stop."

"-y'know, your manager asked me to make up with you."

Bakugou looks up from his lunch. "The fuck? Why?"

"She said you're a horrible gremlin when you're sad and lonely." Bakugou makes a fist around his chopsticks like he's going to use them to punch Kirishima in the face so he hastily amends his statement, snickering. "I paraphrased! A little."

"A lot, probably, you fucking dick." Bakugou stabs a prawn like a caveman, instead of picking it up like a civilized person. Whooo, Kirishima's so in love. Dangerous. "Whatever. If she can't do her job right, I'll just dump her ass to the street."

"Dude…that she hasn't already run screaming is a pretty good sign that she'll actually be really good for you."

"What, are you her fuckin' cheerleader now that you know she's not trying to sit on my dick?"

Kirishima sputters but ohhhh holy shit, the smirk on Bakugou's face is worth the indignation. Oh wow, goddamn, slay him now and lay him here to rest, eternally peaceful. Carve the likeness of that smirk into his tombstone, he has a problem and that problem is incendiary. "I-I wanna make out."

"No. Gross, were you turned on by that?"

"Yeah, let's make out."

"Fuck no! You can fucking wait!"


Kirishima does wait, sometimes impatiently, but the first time they kiss it's like all those sappy movies rolled up into one, with colors and angelic choirs and fireworks popping in the sky, bright and bursting and burning.


"I told you he was into guys." Ashido hops up onto the unoccupied dryer next to where Kirishima is pretending he knows how to fold clothes. "It's so obvious."

"How is it obvious?" Kirishima accosts his freshly laundered t-shirt pile with the vigor of a man determined to succeed. "Bakugou doesn't look like he's into anybody."

"He likes All Might."

Kirishima rolls his eyes. "Everybody likes All Might."

"No, no. You've seen his room, right?"

Kirishima nods.

Ashido leans in to whisper conspiratorily. "He has an All Might poster over his bed."

Folding socks is almost as pointless as folding underwear. Kirishima wads them all together and shoves them into his basket between his pajamas (also pointless to fold) and his jeans (somewhat less pointless). "Everybody," he informs her kindly, "has an All Might poster. Sometimes over their bed. That doesn't mean a dude is gay."

"The one he has over his bed is a shirtless one."

Kirishima pauses. When he glances over, Ashido is giving him that Look. "…you're saying-"

"You don't hang a cheesecake poster over your bed because it goes nicely with the wallpaper, Kirishima."

He spends three days agonizing over it before he decides to ask Bakugou, in a calm, mature manner, to elaborate on the nature of his admiration for one of the greatest heroes of all time.

"Dude do you jerk it to your All Might poster?"

Kirishima has to explain to the principal personally how his uniform got completely destroyed while he was still wearing it.


Things are both terrible and great. They start really, really slow. Not because Bakugou demands it, but also because he kind of does through his inaction and outright refusal. For example, Kirishima wants to hold hands on the way to class the every morning. Bakugou tells him to eat shit and die. They compromise with no hand-holding and no dying or shit-eating.

For the first month, not much changes. At least Bakugou is regularly eating outside again, and though Kirishima doesn't always join him, he doesn't seem to mind. The guy likes his space. Ruriko is sometimes there when Kirishima shows up, but she always leaves with a blinding smile and a wink at them both.

"I don't like her shitty grin," Bakugou grumbles. "She's fired."

Bakugou keeps threatening to fire Ruriko, but Kirishima just informs him that he'd have to actually hire her first. "It's thanks to her showing up that we even got together," Kirishima points out, his head in Bakugou's lap because he's allowing it and Kirishima enjoys finding out how much he can get away with.

Bakugou turns the page in the book he's reading. "Who the fuck says that?"

"Me." Kirishima closes his eyes. The wind is chilly but Bakugou runs warm, like a furnace, which is so appropriate it's hilarious. Kirishima has made it his life's work to teach the guy the fine art of appreciating cuddles. "If she didn't say anything-"

"You would've got around to it."

Kirishima looks up. Bakugou's face is half-hidden behind his book, but the one red eye he can see flicks over to fix on his own. "…Yeah. I would've, eventually."

Bakugou goes back to his book and Kirishima squirms around, pleased.

"Stop wiggling, hair-for-brains."

"You know me pretty good, huh?"

"You're just fuckin' easy to figure out."

"Really? It's not 'cause you think about me all the time or anything?"

"Obviously not."

Kirishima grins and closes his eyes again. "Yeah. Obviously."