Cloud's pov
I took a seat at the desk, trying not to look at the lost expression on Leon's face as he stared up at my ceiling. Even though he had grown less hostile, I still had no illusions about us being close. We were friends, but it was fragile, wary. At that moment, I deeply regretted it. It was hard to imagine, seeing the lost expression on his face now, how I had ever thought him cold. It was harder still to imagine how badly he had to be hurting right now.
I stared at the computer screen, watching as Media Player drew elegant designs on the screen. I wanted to say something, anything, to reassure him, make him feel better. The only problem was, I had no clue what to say. What could you say to someone in that position? I stole a glance at him out of the corner of my eye, but he didn't seem to notice. He looked dead, his skin unearthly pale except where dark, bruise like marks stood out under his eyes.
"You should try to get some sleep." I said, my voice breaking the soft, sad Celtic flute. "You don't want to get sick."
"mmmmm." He made a non-comital noise, still studying my ceiling as though it held the secret to immortality. I began to feel the slightest traces of annoyance. Quelling them firmly, I drew in a breath.
"My ceiling is not that fascinating, and it will still be their when you wake up. Seriously, Leon." My voice had gotten away from me, some of my worry leaking in. "I don't want you to get a cold or something. Sleep. I'll let you know if anything happens." He looked at me, faintly surprised, then, oddly obedient, let his eyes drift shut.
I remained where I was for several long minutes, as his breathing slowed into the deep rhythms of sleep. Asleep, he looked more peaceful, but even still some trace of sorrow creased his brow in a frown. The paleness of his skin made his scar stand out, and I traced it lightly with a finger, never quite touching his skin. He had so many scars. The button-down shirt he wore was open, revealing the tanned expanse of his chest. Barely an inch was not marked with pale white or pink scars, even a few that had faded into pale, almost invisible gold. I pulled the blankets up to his neck, brushing a few strands of still-damp hair away from his face. The door swung shut behind me with barely a sound as I slipped out into the hall.
Yuffie was draped across the couch, snoring slightly with her mouth hanging open. Behind her the t.v. chattered on softly to itself, while characters with odd, spiky hair and too large eyes in unnatural colors fought each other. I turned it off with a click and continued into the kitchen, scanning the refrigerator for anything to eat. There wasn't much; my parents were out of town again this week, both of them, and I hadn't bothered with shopping. I would have had to get a ride or walk with my groceries, so I had mostly been eating the instant food in the pantry. Walking over to that I looked inside; instant ramen by the flat, instant mashed potatoes, pancake mix, breakfast cereal... spice jars, microwave popcorn, canned tuna, canned soup... canned soup sounded good. I started to look for a can-opener, then paused. I wasn't all that hungry, and the others needed sleep more than food. I left the can on the counter and wandered into the dining room, at a loss for what to do. Eventually, my feet led me outside to my tiny outdoor room. I could hear the music from my computer, I realized. The window was open a crack. Carefully, so as not to wake Leon, I kicked off my shoes and danced. I was agitated, restless, so the dance was the same—almost more kata that dance, with a few gymnastic moves for variety. I threw myself into the motions, and let my thoughts drift away into the soft tapping of my feet, the graceful slide of air against my skin, and the soft sound of drums and flute from the window. I don't know how much time passed there, but eventually I knelt, dripping with sweat and too tired to move beneath the oddly pristine blue sky. It was then that I noticed Leon standing at the window.
His hair was mussed, but he looked a little better for the sleep. I found myself oddly self-conscious—not many people had seen me dance. It wasn't that I didn't trust Leon; I did, but part of me felt oddly naked. Somehow, I managed to rise to my feet. He was still watching, the faintest of frowns on his face, unspeaking. I pushed the window open and climbed clumsily inside. Leon moved back to let me in, his eyes never leaving my face, and I wondered what was so interesting.
"Do you do some kind of martial art?" he asked. His voice was soft, even. I nodded.
"Since I was a kid. Dance and gymnastics as well." he was looking at me with something soft and curiously sad in his eyes. I flinched as his fingers reached out to brush, feather-light, the healing bruise on my face.
"You could have dodged this." The words were barely more than a whisper. I had a sudden urge to be anywhere but here, having this conversation. :
"I need to go take a shower." I said, trying to duck around Leon. He was having none of it, and remained right in front of me.
"You could have dodged it." He repeated, louder, more fervent. I became very interested in my toenails. Look, they needed cutting again...
"You needed to hit something." I muttered. I still wasn't looking at him. When I finally found the courage to look up, he was sitting in my computer chair, looking out the window. I fled.
In the safety of the bathroom, I leaned against the door to try and get myself together. Leon had to bring that up. Stripping, I turned on the water and stepped into the spray. It was cool on my skin, and I shivered slightly, turning it up to as hot as I could stand. I felt a little more balanced now, but I had the feeling that I did not want to stop to think, or that awful image would come back to me. Part of me still felt shaky inside, fragile. I shampooed quickly and ducked out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist. Muttering a quick prayer that Yuffie would still be asleep, I gathered my courage and ran for my room. Mercifully, Leon wasn't in there. I pulled on a pair of loose jeans and a black tank top as quickly as I could, before setting out to see what my house guests were up to.
I found both of them in the kitchen, Leon with his head down on the table and Yuffie stirring a pot of something. The can of tomato soup I had been contemplating earlier was empty and sitting on the counter. I took a seat at the table, combing my fingers through my hair. Without the gel, it was long enough to brush my shoulder blades. Yuffie looked up at me as I entered, and did a double-take.
"Wow, your hair is long, Cloud!" I managed a small smile.
"Yeah, I spike it so that Mom won't make me cut it." That made Yuffie crack a grin. I got up and grabbed a shallow pan from under the stove. "Anyone want grilled cheese?"
"I do!" Yuffie still somehow managed to be hyper, and I envied her the ability. Leon raised a hand without lifting his head; he let it fall listlessly back to the table a moment later. I grabbed a loaf of bread and a tub of I-can't-believe-any-idiot-thinks-this-is-butter.
"Yuffie, grab me the processed cheese-food please?" She snickered and grabbed the sliced cheese. Ten minutes later, we were all sitting around the table eating tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Yuffie glanced at the clock and looked startled.
"Cloud, what time do your parents get home? They might not like it that you didn't go to school." Leon's knuckles whitened on his spoon. I merely shrugged.
"Not a problem. They're both out of town. Dad doesn't get back till Thursday, mom after that." Total silence fell, and I took a long slurp of my soup. I looked up to see both of them giving me pitying looks. "What'? It's always been like this." They both looked back down at their food and resumed eating. An awkward silence fell, and no one, least of all me, knew how to break it.
AN: I know I said this was discontinued. I'm issuing a slow post warning, because despite my best efforts, this fic really doesn't want to be written. I'm trying, but updates are not likely to be at all frequent, if at all. Still, reviews are a wondrous thing, and nice thoughtful reviews motivate me like nothing else... Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.
