Chapter two

Bam lay in bed with a frown and tear streaks on his face. It was just a couple hours since he had his destructive meltdown. Missy walked into the bedroom and looked at him for a moment. Right then as she looked at him and saw how calm he appeared to be, she had a feeling that his meltdown was just beginning. The past few years of Bam's life and his personal changes had really taken a toll on Bam's psyche as well as his body. It was only a matter of time that with Bam's reckless crazy lifestyle, and being swept away with the money and fame, before he would self destruct. Missy and other people had seen this coming for a while but no one could tell Bam what could happen to him or what he should do to prevent it and everyone knew that so they left him alone to continue doing the same reckless things and continue to change.

Missy went up to the bed and sat down by Bam. She lightly ran a hand down Bam's side. Bam didn't react at all toward Missy being there. He stared at the wall across the room barely blinking. There was no telling what could have been going on through his mind right then, if anything at all was going through it. Missy sighed and patted Bam's arm lightly.

"Bam?"

He turned his head and looked back at her. His eyes alone made her uncomfortable. They showed so much disturbance and were so dark they didn't even look like his own eyes. She couldn't even tell if they looked sad, scared, upset or confused when he looked at her. She sighed again, trying to figure out what she was going to say to him.

"I don't know what's going on with you right now, but I'm going to try anything I can to help you get back to normal."

Bam looked away from her and closed his eyes. Missy ran her hand up and down over Bam's arm in a soothing manner and sighed. She then stood up and left the room, leaving him to lie there.

….

Bam slowly made his way downstairs. He didn't speak and barely looked up. He looked as though he was grieving someone's death; sad and yet almost scared. As he looked around at everything that he had destroyed he began to tremble a little. He went over to the couch and froze in his spot. He could not take his eyes off of the couch or the knife that was still stuck in it. His trembling grew worse as he sat down, staring at the couch and what he had done to it.

Bam looked at the seat next to him and began to run his hand over top of it. His fingers grazed every edge of the rips in the material and then ran over the tops of every stab hole he had created with the knife. He stopped moving his hand over the cushion and closed his eyes. His breathing began to quicken and he brought his hands up to cover his face. Leaning forward he started rocking back and forth a little. He took his hands away from his face and balled up one hand into a fist. With his fist he hit his leg to let out a little bit of remaining anger. He began to pound his fist over and over into the couch as well as on his leg, causing tears to start to surface again. He managed to keep the tears back but he tilted his head back and let out a scream of anguish. Bam then held the sides of his head, and gripped some of his hair in between his fingers. His eyes were closed tight and his breathing had increased becoming more rapid and panicky.

Moving his hands away from his head he slammed one hand down beside him. His fingers grazed the knife and then he opened his eyes. He lifted and turned his head to look at the knife before pulling it out of the couch cushion. He held the knife in his hands, studying it for a moment. Then almost as a reflex he rolled up one of his pant legs and then lifted the knife. He quickly jabbed the knife tip into his leg a little and dragged the knife down, leaving a long red oozing line. He moved the knife back up and was about to make another cut in his leg.

"Bam!" Missy shrieked

Her voice startled Bam and he looked up at her in fear. He looked down at his leg and the knife in his hand and then began to shake some more. He dropped the knife and covered is face again as tears begun to fall. Missy went up to him and knelt down in front of him, pulling him into her arms.