Of Don Juan and Elvis
shipstiel

Summary:
Keith held the sharpie over the cup expectantly. "Can I get your name?"

"Bond. James Bond." The statement was accompanied by a crooked smile.

Keith looked at him blankly. "Your name is James Bond?"

Keith works at the local Starbucks and lately his days have been disturbed by the annoying(ly cute) guy who comes in and orders the most ridiculous drinks and gives him the stupidest names for the cup. Keith would like to think of him as a major source of irritation, and he is, but he can't help but want to know what his real name is. From curiosity of course — nothing else.


Keith knew he wasn't supposed to go on his phone during his shift but the store was empty and Shiro wasn't here to tell him off anyway, so he resolutely spent his time looking at whatever random garbage the internet had to offer that day.

He glanced up in disinterest when he heard the door chime. His posture straightened a little when he caught a look at the new customer. He was probably one of the kids from the nearby college; the lanky swimmer type, brown hair, brown eyes. He was pretty cute, actually. Despite the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sweater.

He strode up to the register with his phone pulled out and a grin on his expression. "Can I get a venti vanilla bean frappuccino with four pumps of mocha syrup, four pumps of vanilla syrup, and extra whipped cream?"

So, the secret menu. Keith hated when people ordered off of that, it was just a huge hassle to make whatever concoction they had come up with. He already wasn't paid enough for this shit.

Keith held the sharpie over the cup expectantly. "Can I get your name?"

"Bond. James Bond." The statement was accompanied by a crooked smile.

Keith looked at him blankly. "Your name is James Bond?"

The guy flashed him a wink that had Keith fighting back a blush for some inexplicable reason. He then proceeded to hold his hands out to make a gun shape and made several noises which Keith supposed was supposed to be gun noises. "Double oh-seven."

After a moment Keith decided fuck it, whatever then. He so wasn't up for this shit today. "Okay, sure."

After collecting the guy's payment he went back to make the ludicrous drink that had been ordered. Like seriously, did he want diabetes?

When he finished the drink he noticed that the guy had gone to the other side of the room and was surfing his phone. His posture made it clear that he was expecting Keith to call out the fake name that he had given him which was kind of dumb, since he was the only customer there anyways. Keith cleared his throat and read off the name.

"James Bond?"

Mystery guy looked up with a pleased grin and bounded over to grab his drink. He winked again. Ridiculous.

"Gotta get to class now. Thanks."

He grabbed a straw on the way out as he left in a jog, with Keith staring at his retreating figure in bewilderment.

Several days later it was far less quiet. Apparently everyone in the goddamn city had decided they needed Starbucks that specific day and it was an absolute shit show. The line was at least six people long at all times, and even with Allura running the register and Shiro helping Keith make drinks, they were still swamped with orders.

Keith finished the latest order—it was ridiculous, a latte with like, three different kinds of syrups in it. Honestly.

He turned the cup to see whose name to read and furrowed his brows in confusion. "Professor Xavier?"

Then Keith noticed the same guy from the other day coming to pick up his liquid diabetes and he rolled his eyes. Of course.

He didn't have much time to ponder the issue though, because Shiro was calling Keith to come and help already because there were still more orders, and Keith turned back to his work, but not before catching the grin the other boy gave him at Keith's reaction.

"I'll take a venti latte with three extra shots of espresso and three pumps of vanilla syrup."

Keith looked at him in alarm. "Three shots of espresso?"

"Exams."

Keith nodded in understanding. He knew all too well about the stress of college exams, even though he'd dropped out the year prior.

"Name?"

"Luke Skywalker."

"So when you go to the hairdressers, do you like, ask for a mullet or…"

Keith rolled his eyes. That happened a lot around this kid.

The Annoyance (Keith had taken to thinking of him like that, since the guy still hadn't told him his real name) sat at the counter this time—sipped on his frappucino and generally just annoyed Keith, therefore living up to his name. Apparently his classes got cancelled that day but his friends' didn't so he had nothing else to do. Keith had suggested that he could do some extra studying but that had been a no go. Apparently he needed someone to annoy at all times.

"But is it like, an intentional fashion choice, or do you ask for something else? Have you accepted the mullet, Keith? Do you embrace the mullet, or do you just 'wake up that way'?"

Keith rolled his eyes and reached up to tie his hair back, just so the kid would stop bothering him.

"Y'know, it's kind of unfair that you know my name and I don't know yours."

The Annoyance threw his hands up in a 'sucks for you' motion. "Not my fault you're required to wear a name tag."

"Not my fault you have the most ridiculous sense of humor and think that giving fake names at Starbucks is funny."

The other boy held up his cup to his chest defensively, as if Keith's words were hurting its feelings or something.

"I'm hilarious."

Keith raised an incredulous eyebrow. "Clark Kent? Really?"

The Annoyance pulled open his jacket dramatically to reveal the superman shirt underneath, again. For the third time that morning.

"Up up and away!"

Keith just rolled his eyes—yet again—and got to work cleaning the espresso machine.

Keith finished preparing the drink and finally looked at the name on the cup. He already knew that it was The Annoyance's drink, because he had seen him come in, and the drink was covered in the usual abundance of markings indicating numerous specializations.

When he read the name he at first froze, then looked over at Allura, who was totally standing at the register with The Annoyance, looking like they were trying not to be suspicious, but completely failing. It was painfully obvious that they were watching Keith, and presumably his reaction.

"Allura, what the hell? I'm not saying this name!"

She burst into a laugh like she couldn't contain it anymore. "Why ever not, Keith? I didn't take you for the prudish type."

He flushed an embarrassed red. "I'm not. The reason I can't announce this is the fact that it's an entirely inaccurate description."

The Annoyance let out a gasp and clutched at his chest in a fake wounded manner. "How your words hurt me! I'm afraid I now have to insist."

"The customer is always right, Keith." Allura was entirely too satisfied in herself and Keith shot her a quick glare, just to show the depth of his true annoyance.

He sighed. "Christian Grey?"

The Annoyance gave him a wide grin. "Who? Me? Why, thank you kind sir for the comparison."

Allura let out a little giggle behind where she was covering her mouth with her hand.

Keith rolled his eyes. "I hate both of you, I hope you know that."

The Annoyance brought some of his friends that time. The one was a tall, bulky guy that he heard mentioned by the name, "Hunk" or something like that. A strange name, but still better than Luke Skywalker, or Christian Grey.

The other was shorter even than Keith. He, or she? (Keith supposed he didn't really have a right to judge on that) wore glasses and had their hair cut short.

The Annoyance ordered another one of his ridiculous concoctions, a hot chocolate this time with a ton of caramel syrup, under the name 'Mick Jagger.'

His friends ordered far more sensible drinks, although 'Hunk' did buy a concerning amount of baked goods from the display case.

The group sat close enough to the counter that Keith could hear their conversation if he was in the register area. So, he spent about ten straight minutes cleaning the counter and display case, trying to act inconspicuous about it.

The Annoyance finally turned to look right at Keith and announced "I know what you're trying to do Keith, and it won't work. I've told them not to mention my name right out—keep the suspense, y'know."

He then proceeded to wink at Keith and Keith flushed red at being caught. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just trying to do my cleaning."

The Annoyance shot him a grin that hold him he didn't believe a word he said.

The Annoyance was wearing exercise clothing of all things. While ordering a drink that must have at least six hundred calories.

"I just got back from a run. I thought I'd get a little post-workout snack."

Keith arched an eyebrow incredulously. "You're not even sweaty, and this isn't exactly a gatorade."

"Alright, so maybe I haven't exactly gone running yet, but I swear I was planning on it! It's just so hot out today!"

Keith just shook his head, but couldn't help himself smiling the slightest bit at his antics.

"Name?"

"Shakira, 'cus these hips don't lie." He proceeded to dance along to the ABBA on the radio with ridiculously over exaggerated movements and Keith couldn't help the laugh that broke through at the sight of it.

The other boy froze in his dancing when he saw Keith laughing and broke into a massive smile, and Keith wasn't crazy when he thought he noticed a bit of a blush there, right?

The Annoyance sighed for what must have been the tenth time in the last five minutes. Keith had finally had enough. He threw down his cleaning cloth in exasperation.

"What the hell are you doing?"

The other boy had the nerve to look up from his homework as if he hadn't realized he was doing anything wrong. Then he sighed, yet again and Keith felt like hopping over the counter and strangling him or something.

"I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong! I've gone over my work for this question like, five times, and I can't see anything wrong, but the answer's off! This is literally the worst thing."

Keith rolled his eyes. "If I help you, will you shut the hell up with the sighing?"

The Annoyance looked at him with confusion, as if Keith was crazy. "This is like, third year astrophysics I don't know how much you can really—"

Keith yanked the papers away from him and read them over for a moment.

The Annoyance shut up then, and he actually looked slightly interested as to what Keith had to say about it.

Keith found the error within thirty seconds and pointed it out. "You know, for having the name 'Albert Einstein' you really missed an easy error."

The Annoyance looked at him in shock and checked the paper. "Holy shit. How the hell did I multiply three and three and get six?"

Keith rolled his eyes and pushed the paper away. "I dunno. You tell me."

The other boy worked to fix the error and looked up at Keith contemplatively. "How did you know how to do that?"

"What? Multiply three and three?" Keith arched an eyebrow in a way he knew would piss the other off.

The Annoyance shook his head. "No, not that. The astrophysics." His eyes widened after a moment as if he'd come to an important realization. "Holy shit. Holy shit. You're that kid!"

Keith furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What kid?"

"The one that kept fucking beating me! For the first two years of my degree I was always getting cheated from top of class by some kid named Keith who would always just get like, three percent higher and destroy my dreams! How do you seriously not know my name, we were like, rivals!"

Keith thought back but he didn't really remember having a rival. "I don't really know what you're talking about with the rivals thing, I mean, I remember being top of the class but I don't think I remember you."

The Annoyance (and apparently, also formal rival) widened his eyes in shock. "What? How do you not remember me? See, it's your own fault that you don't know my name."

Keith rolled his eyes. "Doesn't seem to be too important so far, does it?"

The other boy gasped in false pain. "That was so rude! I am wounded!" He seemed to think for a moment. "Wait, what happened, because you haven't been ruining my life this year."

Keith shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable. "I dropped out."

The other boy seemed to think it over for a moment before shrugging as well. "Alright. Hey, can I get a refill on this? It's wonderful." He flashed Keith a hopeful smile, fluttering his eyelashes in what Keith supposed was supposed to be a cute way.

"Flattery will get you nowhere when you're using all the syrups." Keith crossed his arms in defiance, but even he couldn't resist the pleading face for very long.

He sighed and snatched the cup away and went to refill it.

He made sure to flip the other boy off when he saw the triumphant smirk plastered on his face.

It was probably the fourth time The Annoyance had passed by the front of the store. Every time he made a walk-by, he peered in through the windows at the front, as if he was waiting for something.

Keith finished up with the last customer in line and saw as yet again the other boy passed in front of the store. Keith wasn't sure how many more passes it would take for him to finally snap and run out there to ask what the hell was wrong with him.

This time however, seemed to be different. The Annoyance looked in the store and his posture suddenly straightened as if he had found what he was looking for. He passed out of sight again and Keith sighed. Maybe he would be free of him now.

A few moments later, The Annoyance came striding up again but this time he was wearing some ridiculous white leather jacket with sunglasses and Keith already knew this was going to be a shit-show.

The other boy opened the door leading in to the store, and Keith heard… Elvis playing? What the fuck?

The Annoyance proceeded to do some ridiculous Elvis walk impersonation on his way to the resister, and even did a couple of spins with embellished movements throughout it.

The rest of the customers in the café seemed delighted with this routine and Keith felt himself blushing even though this was completely ridiculous.

He did a final slide to reach the register and lowered his sunglasses to look over them with raised eyebrows.

"Elvis Presley. Thank you, thank you very much." He even tried his best impression of an Elvis voice.

Keith stared at him for a moment before he couldn't help it anymore. He burst out laughing because he couldn't believe how adorable this was. Ridiculous, but utterly adorable.

"You're doing costumes now?"

Damnit, Keith was so gone over this kid.

The Annoyance (Keith couldn't believe he still didn't know the guy's name) was hovering. He had ordered his drink about twenty minutes ago (under the name Don Juan. Keith had rolled his eyes at that one, at least, more than usual). Now, he was sitting at the counter, occasionally taking a sip, but more drumming his fingers on the counter than anything else. He picked up his phone every few moments to check something then put it down a moment later, as if he wasn't sure exactly what he had wanted to check.

Keith was too busy to go tell him to fucking stop, or to ask him what was up — either one. It was the middle of the morning rush, and the shop was full of people needing their morning caffeine.

Eventually the lines cleared up as it moved past peak hour and Keith finally had a free moment. The other boy was still there, so he thought he'd go over and talk to him. Maybe he had only stayed to talk to Keith after all, which would make sense as to why he was still there.

"Hey, what's up?" Keith cleaned the counter with a rag as he spoke. He might as well be productive while making conversation.

The boy actually startled, as if he hadn't seen Keith coming.

He looked at Keith with wide eyes, then glanced away quickly. He thought he saw the beginnings of a blush on his cheeks there. "Sorry, I'm just a little distracted."

"Something wrong?"

"No! Nope, uh…" He let out a deep breath, as if he'd been holding it for a while. "Yeah, actually, I've been thinking about something…for a while."

Keith arched an eyebrow. "And?"

"And I uh…Doyouwanttogooutsometime?"

Keith stopped his cleaning and looked at him for a moment in confusion. "Sorry? You spoke too fast, I couldn't hear you."

The other boy looked distressed. He took a deep breath. "I said, do you want to maybe go out sometime? I don't know, lunch, or dinner or coffee or something, but I'm sure you've seen enough coffee for one lifetime."

Keith just stared at him for a moment, again. Except, this time it wasn't out of confusion, it was out of surprise. When the weight of his words sank in and Keith saw that the other boy's expression was sincere, he felt himself breaking into a slow smile.

"I don't know, that depends."

"On what?" The other boy seemed worried.

"What's your real name?"

The relief was eminent on his expression. "If I tell you, will you go out with me?"

Keith smiled wider. "Deal."

The boy's expression lit up in happiness. "Great! Fantastic. Uh, my name's Lance."

"Nice to meet you, Lance."

They both kind of just hopelessly smiled at each other for a moment before Keith noticed the cup again, reading 'Don Juan.' "Wait, did you pick that name today on purpose?"

Lance looked embarrassed. "Maybe. Yeah, I did. I was gonna say some witty pickup line related to it, but I chickened out."

Keith shook his head. "You are such a dork."

"But you've already agreed to go out, and there're no take backs!"

Keith rolled his eyes. "You're still a dork."

Lance pouted. Keith took his sharpie from his apron pocket and reached for Lance's cup, scribbling out his phone number quickly, underneath the Don Juan.

He slid it back over the counter to Lance, who took it with an elated expression.

"I have work to do and you have a class in ten minutes, so you better get going."

Lance's eyes widened at the mention of his upcoming class. "Oh shit." He gave Keith a hopeful look. "I'll call you?"

Keith's mouth quirked up at the corner. "Go. You're gonna be late."

Lance waved him goodbye as he grabbed his cup and took off in a sprint so as to make it to his class on time.

Keith just shook his head because that guy was honestly such an idiot sometimes, but he couldn't help the hopeless smile that spread across his face at the thought of him. Of Lance.

Maybe he didn't mind him so much after all.