July 23rd 2022

Chapter 204
Our Haunting of Expectations

Mackenzie Friar had a superpower. That was what they would call it, jokingly. When morning came, she would wake to the quiet of her parents' room, and it wouldn't matter if they were still lying as though asleep, impossible to confirm one way or the other from where she lay, over in her crib… She would just know when one or both of them were awake, and then she'd pull herself to sit up. She'd either play with her feet, or tap the bars of her crib… She'd wait until her parents finally showed themselves for being awake, like she knew they were.

Maya could just see her over there, vaguely, as she lay awake that morning, but she didn't move to reveal herself in any way. It wasn't that she was playing tricks on her baby girl, not at all, she just… She was having the most intense bit of déjà vu. One year later, one year and a couple of months later, more or less…

"Lucas?" She turned her head, then turned on to her back. In her crib, Mackenzie reacted like 'ah ha, there you are' and gave a squeal that now woke her father. He opened his eyes to find his wife looking back at him.

"Hey…" he started, then paused when he saw the look on her face. "Hey…"

"Lucas…" she repeated herself now that he was awake. He looked at her, tried to think why this was reminding him of something, and then…

"No way…" he blinked. He had a feeling his face and hers were now very similar to one another. She tried to respond, but she was honestly at a loss for words, so she shrugged. She wasn't sure, but as she'd lain there, and thought back, and counted… It wasn't impossible, so much so that it felt very possible instead, possible that they might have been expecting… again. "No way…" Lucas repeated, even as his shock went the only way it knew how to go, and he laughed.

There was no definitive answer, not yet, so right now they were only existing with the possibility, but even so, it seemed like she would know enough, and this felt less like fifty-fifty and more like seventy-five percent in favor. So, as much as they could try and tell themselves that they shouldn't get ahead of themselves, already their heads were spinning at the idea of another baby, of another year not unlike the previous one.

"I need you to go to the store for me, okay?" Maya tapped Lucas' arm, and he propped himself up on his elbow. It was Sunday, so no one had school, she wasn't working, and he was only due to go in for his usual rounds at the ranch. "I'll get everyone up and start on breakfast, but you… I need you to…"

"One test or two?" he asked, knowing full well what she was thinking.

He quickly got dressed and was out the door even as Maya was seeing to Mackenzie, finally out of her crib where she wanted to be. His departure did not go unnoticed, as the sound of the door and then the car, in the early morning, drew Marianne from her room to find her mother. Where was Daddy going? Was there an emergency at the ranch?

"No, it's okay, he just needed to grab something from the store," Maya told her. "Let's get your sisters together, yeah? We're making pancakes."

That was the magic word. Marianne dashed over to the nursery, and in no time, there was a procession of small blondes headed down the stairs and to the kitchen. Between the waking, and the potty break, and getting everyone's hair slightly less 'bedhead' like, once they actually got to the making of the pancake batter and the cutting of the fruit to go in some of these pancakes, it wasn't very long before Lucas was back. This thankfully coincided with Emma and Eliza coming downstairs, so Maya passed the pancake making over to her little sisters while she and Lucas went upstairs. Whether or not their excuse passed as legitimate, they didn't give it much thought. They headed into the bathroom, shut the door, and Lucas handed the bag over so Maya could get started. She'd been holding back the urge to go for a while, so this wouldn't take long.

As he waited, this time around, Lucas simply stood back, didn't sit on the small foot stool. He could sense his wife's anxiety, wanted to be nearby without crowding her. When she set the timer and turned to him, he opened his arms, sensing she might have needed this, and she folded herself right in.

"This is so… I don't know how to explain it, it's just…" Maya hummed, cheek pressed to his heart as he held her. "If it is positive, I will be happy, really, it's just I wasn't…"

"I know," he told her.

When they'd found out that they would have Mackenzie, it had been a surprise, unplanned. It still hadn't been all that long since they'd had the triplets and though they had thought of when they might try for another child, they had never thought it would be that soon, barely a year after they'd had Kacey, Remy, and Lucy, coming on two by the time Mackenzie was born. And now here they were, with a six-month-old, and they might be starting all over again already, for their sixth baby, their seventh child… It would be stranger if they weren't kind of rattled.

"Me or you this time?" Lucas asked when the timer ran out. Maya considered this for a moment.

"You look, then you can tell me," she decided. So, he looked. A few seconds went by. "Well?"

"It's negative," he finally told her, and she pulled back to look at him, blinking.

"It is?" she asked, feeling a disappointment in that instant, like for as much as she'd been startled before, now that it was over, she couldn't even…

"No, it's positive," Lucas smiled. Her mouth moved around empty words as she stared at him, then down to the stick on the counter, which was indeed positive, and back to him again.

"What the…" she started, but then paused, let out a breath, a small smile. He'd wanted her to see, to know that after all… she was really happy that they were going to be parents again. "That was so mean," she declared, with a face that suggested the opposite.

"Sometimes, it's worth it," he assured her, and she nodded and laughed as she stretched up to kiss him. He returned the kiss, let it linger slowly and merrily as he held her.

This was so not what they'd imagined this morning to be, but now here they were. There would be so much to think about in the days and weeks to come, but right now it was Sunday, and soon they would be summoned for pancake breakfast, so they had better pick up after themselves and head down to rejoin their daughters and sisters. As far as they could tell, no one suspected a thing, so that was good. They had their breakfast, and Marianne talked about what she was going to do today, and the triplets talked about how much they loved pancakes, and Emma and Eliza were going to join their friends from school as they were all working on their Halloween costumes for a contest on campus… And all this time, Maya and Lucas sat among them, with this secret in the back of their minds, and it sort of felt like they had a power of their own. They very nearly told the rest of them right then and there, but they resisted.

"I don't know about the others, but I want us to tell Marianne next week," Lucas revealed, later on, after lunch, as he and Maya saw to the laundry while the girls were upstairs, napping. Their firstborn did not usually nap anymore, but on a day like this, she would sometimes decide to go and join her little sisters. If any of them woke up, she would be there.

"Next week… You mean Hallowannie?" Maya smiled. If their daughter had loved the name and the sentiment as a toddler, by now it was absolutely her own personal holiday, and it was her favorite day. She might have started counting down from November 1st of last year. "Sounds good to me," Maya nodded, even as she let out a breath, thinking about their baby girl, seven days off from six years old. "A little… homemade birthday present," she added with a grin, knowing it would make Lucas laugh.

They'd had a few hours to let the news sink in now. The shock had worn off completely. This may not have been what they'd had in mind, timing wise, but they'd adjusted just fine last time, and they would do so again. It had always been their plan, their great dream: they wanted a big family, him and her and their children. As much as they'd gone in with a plan, it was never going be predictable, was it? They'd tried for Marianne, and they'd gotten her. And then Ella had happened. And then they'd tried for one and gotten three. And then Mackenzie, and now…

"Do you hear that?" Lucas asked as they were going up the stairs with baskets of laundry to fold. They paused, listened, and looked to one another.

"She's at it again," Maya sighed.

Their baskets set aside, they made their way up to the first floor and down the hall to the green room at the end. Last that they'd seen her, Marianne had been in the triplets' room for their nap, but she was gone now, and they could hear her, back in her room. When they looked inside, she was putting all her strength in displacing her desk. She stopped when she saw them both looking at her.

"Hi," she smiled, and it was such a perfect little 'oops, busted' smile that her parents had trouble keeping a straight face.

"Remember what we said?" Lucas asked her. Marianne sighed, looking to the calendar on her wall.

"Six days," she replied. They'd been counting; she loved to keep track of these things. They were going to change her room the following Saturday, the day before her birthday… They were going to be way too busy on Sunday, with Hallowannie, and this way she could wake up on her birthday and be six years old with her baby sister sharing her room like she'd always wanted it.

"You're getting pretty strong, huh?" Maya noted, as she looked to where the desk had already been moved. It hadn't reached its destination just yet, but it was on its way. This may have been thanks to Dot's forethought in making it, as she'd made sure it wouldn't scratch the floor in being moved, which in turn made it easier to slide. "How about, for today, we see about that painting you wanted to put over the crib?" Maya suggested, and this idea appeased her daughter's impatience. Marianne ran up and put her arms around her, never realizing how happy her mother could be in that moment, holding her and also knowing what she knew.

So, the desk was left where it was for now, and the great big canvas was brought out from where it had been waiting, up on the second floor. They set it up, and then they got to work, creating something that would feel very like Mackenzie, for her to see when she looked up and to the wall. They'd briefly considered just repainting a section of the wall, but this felt like the wiser way to go. The – presently – youngest Friar was only half a year old, still with so much to figure out as far as likes and dislikes. In the hands of her mother and father and sister though, something would be created for the girl that she already was. Maybe, in the future, it would change, grow with her. And maybe someday soon, Marianne and Mackenzie would have another roommate…

TO BE CONTINUED


See you tomorrow! - mooners