SAWYER WAKES UP (YAY!): Now in Glorious UnspokenVision!

dedicated to josh + evie for acting the hell out of their scenes together and to the show writers, for putting so much great invisotext between the dialogue that makes it onscreen

Kate: "Can you hear me? Sawyer?"

SawyerUnspoken: Ughnh guhhh. Five more minutes.

"Wayne? I'm probably crazy, but maybe you're in there somehow. But you asked me a question. You asked me why I--why I did it. It wasn't because you drove my father away, or the way you looked at me, or because you beat her. It's because I hated that you were a part of me--that I would never be good. That I would never have anything good. And every time that I look at Sawyer--every time I feel something for him--I see you, Wayne. It makes me sick."

SawyerUnspoken: Alright, alright, I'm awake! But for crissakes, you've got to work on the timing of your heartwarming expressions of affection--I was having a great dream about cracking Ana-Lucia's skull open. Baby, if you weren't so damn adorable you'd be a real buzzkill.

Sawyer: "That's about the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

KateUnspoken: Sawyer, if that's you, you should know that your standards for sweetness are much too low. And if it's not you, well, thank you, Wayne, once again, for crushing my soul and pulverizing my heart in a blender of pain.

Kate: "Sawyer?"

KateUnspoken: Wayne, so help me, if you are messing around inside Sawyer's head, I will climb down into hell just to kill you all over again.

Sawyer: "But who the hell is Wayne?"

SawyerUnspoken: Boyfriend? Bookie? Pen pal? Give me some context here, Freckles. I'm trying to decide if I should be jealous, homicidal or amused.

KateUnspoken: Oh, Sawyer. You're the hottest, funniest, altogether bestest half-dead guy I've ever been nearly strangled by. I missed you, you perverted jerk. Welcome home.

Sawyer: "I'm in a bunk-bed?"

SawyerUnspoken: I totally reserved the California King, but, oh well, I suppose we can improvise something. You know that thing about "necessity being the mother of invention"? Applies first and foremost to sexual positions. I'm just sayin'.

Kate: "Yeah, you're in a bunk-bed."

KateUnspoken: How the hell did you manage to use the word "bed" in a sentence within five seconds of regaining consciousness?

SawyerUnspoken: I wonder if she can tell I've been saving up all my dirty thoughts just for her. Saving. Saved. Oh yeah. Almost forgot for a second there about being stranded on a desert island with sharks and pirates and freakin' Jack.

Sawyer: "Are we saved?"

KateUnspoken: Saved. Saving. Oh yeah, by the way, I should mention that was totally saving myself for you, Sawyer, but then, uh, Jack's lips got in my way. Sorry about that.

SawyerUnspoken: Because if we are--saved, that is--you and me? We're going to Vegas, baby. I have plans for us. For starters, we're gonna get incredibly drunk and do it on every available surface of the Flamingo Suite at the Bellagio.

Kate: "No, Sawyer. Not yet."

SawyerUnspoken: Okay, fine, hotel-room Jacuzzi sex is overrated anyway. But when you and me get back there, Freckles, that lagoon of dead bodies ain't gonna know what hit it.