Sawyer Stepped Forward, Jack Stepped Back: Now in Glorious UnspokenVision!

(Locke, Jack and Sawyer stand within a circle of torches, facing down Zeke, who is one of those bad guys who love to make flowery scary speeches.)

"We've got a misunderstanding, Jack--your people, my people. So listen carefully. Right here there's a line. You cross that line, we go from misunderstanding to something else. Now give me your weapons, turn around, go home."

SawyerUnspoken: Oooh! Something else! I pick something else! It's about time we actually had a rumble in the jungle!

"No."

"Jack, maybe--"

"No!"

JackUnspoken: No means no, Locke. Stop trying to date rape me.

"I hoped it wouldn't come to this. Bring her out, Alex!"

SawyerUnspoken: Aw, Freckles. Please don't let this be you.

(Kate, bound and gagged, is thrown into Zeke's clutches.)

"She was following you. Like I said--curiosity."

JackUnspoken: KAAAATE! Oooh! Woman, when we get home, you've got some 'splainin' to do!

(Jack looks pissed. Sawyer steps toward Kate. Zeke pulls a gun and points it at Kate's throat.)

KateUnspoken: Hey! Personal bubble, bucko!

SawyerUnspoken: Sweetie, I'm gonna have to shoot myself, because you're killin' me. Please don't look so scared. Oh, and Jack? You suck.

"Jack, the decision you gotta make right now is this--can you live with the fact that I shot this woman right in front of you when you could have saved her life by giving up and going home? Or are you going to give me your guns, turn around and walk away. It's your call, Jack."

"You touch a hair on her head, I'll--"

SawyerUnspoken: Leave you in anguish. Wallowing in freakish misery forever.

"Shut up! I'm going to count to three. One...two..."

ZekeUnspoken: Two and a half. Two and three quarters. Two and seven eighths. Aw, crap. I'm gonna get Kate juice all over my favorite fake beard. Come on Jack. Two and fifteen sixteenths.

"Stop."

(Jack throws his gun down.)

SawyerUnspoken: Christ on a cracker, Jack! We're not the CIA, man--when they've got a gun to our girl's head, we do negotiate with terrorists. WTF!

"Now, them."

KateUnspoken: Can I go home now? Please? I promise not to taunt the flying monkeys on the way. And there will absolutely no mischief with munchkins.

(Locke throws his gun down.)

LockeUnspoken: I'm more of a knife man, anyway. That's how I met and bedded Angelina Jolie, you know--our mutual affection for knives brought us together. Whoo! Cirque du Soleil acrobats used to stop by to take notes. But man, one wrong move and suddenly you're stuck in a wheelchair and Angie's run off to boink her brother. Safety first, kids. Safety first.

"Give me the other one, too."

(Locke surrenders his other gun.)

"Now you."

(Sawyer drops his gun.)

"You and me ain't done, Zeke."

SawyerUnspoken: I have two hobbies, Groucho. Kate is one of them. Fcking you up is now the other. Brace yourself, btch.

(Zeke releases Kate into Sawyer's waiting arms. Kate looks to Jack apologetically.)

"Jack, I, uh--"

SawyerUnspoken: Honey, you have a people-pleasing problem. Maybe you should get that checked out. I bet a good ointment would clear that right up.

(Sawyer unties Kate's hands and removes the gag.)

"You alright?"

KateUnspoken: Sawyer, am I alright?

SawyerUnspoken: You're fine now, sweetness.

"Yep."

JackUnspoken: Damn, I've got the song "Detachable Penis" stuck in my head. I wonder why.

KateUnspoken: Sawyer, what you just did? That was amazing. I felt like we really connected. So...do you want to cuddle?

SawyerUnspoken: I'd rather have a cigarette, but...sure. Hey, your hair smells nice! Jojoba, right?

LockeUnspoken: Well, we probably shouldn't let this nice campfire go to waste...anybody want some Smores?