Virgin Territory
ingberry
Summary:
Gwaine's parties are legendary. It's mostly because of the orgy in the basement where people offer themselves up for the greater good. Merlin figures that's a smashing way to get rid of his virginity, mostly because he's never seen anyone from his high school at Gwaine's.
The idea seems a lot worse when he's on his knees, naked and blindfolded.
Thank fuck for the guy who grabs him and hauls him back up the stairs.
Merlin regrets everything.
No, really: he regrets every single thing in his life leading up to this point.
He especially regrets watching so much porn that he deluded himself into thinking it'd be nice to lose his (ever-present, pesky) virginity during an orgy at Gwaine's party. Sure, it had seemed like a really good idea at first because Merlin is terrible at flirting and this way he doesn't have to do anything but be present. Besides, the thought of being fucked by several people had seemed excruciatingly hot just last night.
It's still kind of hot, but the reality of it has put a severe damper on the whole thing.
He's kneeling on the floor, completely naked and blindfolded, his knees digging into the rough carpet. It's disconcerting: not seeing anything. It puts him on edge, making him even more nervous than he thought he'd be. His fingers twitch against his thighs.
The room had been silent as they waited for the rest of the party to come downstairs, but now there's nothing but excited shouts, catcalls and unmistakable moans. It's difficult to know which direction it all comes from, and without his sight he can't figure out what's actually happening.
He's seen what goes on in the basement before. And then he'd thought about it, over and over. There was something liberating about the fact that they sit there naked and blindfolded, waiting to be used however the others saw fit for their entertainment.
But it's only now Merlin realises the true implications of that. However they see fit includes a hell of a lot of options that Merlin had conveniently overlooked.
For one, there's nothing to stop someone with a vagina to get into the mix and he's not really into vaginas. He could probably make it work, somehow, but it's not exactly his top choice.
But the worst thing of all comes to him when he listens to the increasing amount of moans around him and the shouts from the people watching:
What if no one approaches him?
There's a reason he's a virgin to begin with. It's not just the fact that he's terrible at flirting, though that's definitely a big part of it. He's never been conventionally attractive. He's not an Arthur or a Gwaine or a Percy, all of which are varying degrees of muscular and just about the same degree of gorgeous.
Merlin is scrawny and pale. He's always been thin, with limbs too long for himself and ears three sizes too large for his head.
And now he's naked. In a room full of people. People who are decidedly not touching him. He's too nervous to be particularly turned on, so his cock is flaccid and small between his legs.
He'd thought that, maybe, getting away from his own school would make this easier. He doesn't know anyone at Gwaine's parties except Gwaine (who would never fuck him anyway cause they're like brothers). In a room full of strangers, no one would compare him to Arthur or Percy, and they wouldn't know every single thing about him going back to elementary school.
His knees ache and he feels the carpet burn on his skin as he shifts. At some point he started shivering under the chill in the basement, and maybe from being so exposed.
It hasn't been as long as it feels, he knows that. He hasn't been sitting there for several minutes, or anything, but every second that passes makes his heart beat faster and his cheeks flush brighter with embarrassment.
He can't do this.
His hands jerk with the impulse to rip the blindfold off, but instead he goes completely still, breath getting stuck in his throat.
There are hands on his chest, running up to his shoulders. And then there are more hands than could possibly be attached to a single human being. He's relieved and terrified at once. Someone's palm graces his nipple and he let's out a long breath that ends with a weak moan.
He doesn't have time to decide whether he enjoys it or not. He's still reeling from the realisation that he has multiple sets of hands on him when there's a strange growling sound and the hands disappear as quickly as they came.
Gasping for air, he tries to get out a confused "what?" but it comes out as "humrph?" He doesn't get an answer. Instead, a pair of hands grip him by the elbows and pull him to his feet, dragging him along.
He squirms, panic building his chest as he hears Gwaine say, "Hey! Hey, you can't just do that."
"Fuck off, Gwaine," a guy says close to his ear. "I'm getting him dressed. Where are his clothes?"
"Jesus, stop. He volunteered for this, you know, I didn't force him," Gwaine says, closer now. "Just cause you're getting jealous, it doesn't mean he wants you to drag him off."
Merlin doesn't know which side he's on right now. This is ridiculously confusing.
"Well, did he seem very into it to you?"
Gwaine goes quiet. "Merlin?"
"Mmrph," Merlin says.
"Do you want to stop?"
Merlin stills in the guy's grip, trying to get his bearings. Does he want to stop? He thinks about the hands on him. They'd felt good, but overwhelming. He's had too much time to think. Maybe if he'd had time to just go through with it, no thinking necessary…
"Yeah," he says, mouth dry. "Yeah, I think I do. Sorry."
"Don't be sorry, you arse, I'm not fucked in the head," Gwaine says and swats him over the head. "I'm not into people doing things when they don't want to."
Merlin nods. He feels slightly disoriented. There's a slight possibility he wouldn't be standing if Mystery Guy wasn't holding him up.
"I put their clothes in the guest bedroom upstairs," Gwaine says, pausing before adding, "Don't be an arse."
Merlin is about to sputter indignantly before realising Gwaine probably isn't talking to him.
Climbing the stairs blindfolded is just about as difficult as it sounds. He keeps getting distracted by the fact that he's naked and there are other people at the party on the floor above. Also, Mystery Guy's arm is heavy around his waist, dragging him along. His fingers dig into Merlin's skin.
It's strange feeling someone else's very alive hands pressed to him like this. It feels intimate, even if it isn't really.
After ascending another set of stairs, he's finally pushed into a room. The chatter and music get distant and muted when the door closes. Merlin wonders if he should take the blindfold off but part of him doesn't want to. He'll have to look the guy in the eye.
Not only had he put himself in the middle of an orgy, but he'd chickened out too. He probably would've even if Mystery Guy hadn't intervened.
"Don't take it off."
Merlin doesn't answer, but drops his hands from where they'd been hovering about half-way to his face.
"That'll just make it more awkward for the both of us. I'll try to find your clothes for you. What were you wearing?"
"Uh. My boxers are black. And I'm wearing jeans and a blue shirt."
"Well, that narrows it down," Mystery Guy says, brimming with sarcasm.
Merlin reaches his hand out, looking for somewhere to sit and he finally fumbles his way to the bed, sitting down with relief. He rubs his hands over his sore knees.
It's quiet in the room. Only the steady beat of the bass and the sounds of the guy picking through the clothes can be heard.
Merlin rubs his hands together, trying to ignore how fucking naked he is.
This sure is a crowning moment in his life.
"What the fuck were you thinking?"
Merlin starts, frowning under the fabric of the blindfold at the heat in Mystery Guy's voice.
"I do believe that's none of your business," Merlin says, his voice feeling strange and scratchy in his throat.
"You looked like you were gonna die. And not of pleasure."
God. Merlin knows. He knows he got in over his head. He tried to do synchronised swimming before he'd even set foot in water. And this random stranger had been nice enough to get him the fuck out of there before things got seriously out of hand. Maybe that's why he feels this odd compulsion to spill everything.
Kicking his legs slightly, Merlin sighs and says, "You don't wanna know some random guy's problems. Just, find my clothes and I'll go home and you can get back to your regularly scheduled party happenings."
"Yeah, well, I can't bloody find them because every single one of you wears black boxers, even the girls, apparently." Mystery Guy huffs in annoyance. "We're pretty much stuck here anyway, so you might as well spill."
Merlin should probably say that all they really need to do is for Mystery Guy to stand behind his back somewhere while Merlin gets the blindfold off to find his clothes. And their problem will be solved.
But.
Maybe he can just tell him. Maybe he can get some advice.
"It's really stupid."
"I expect nothing less."
Merlin makes a face at him even if he doesn't know whether he's even looking in his direction.
"I'm a virgin," he says, finding that it's a lot easier to say when he's blindfolded for some reason. "I'm 18 years old and I just want to fucking do it with someone. I don't know how to flirt. I don't know where else to go. It just seemed easy, okay? Like. I can't just walk up to someone at school and ask them to stick their cock up my arse."
Mystery Guy is quiet.
Well. He is until he says, "You're an idiot" and sounds like he really means it.
"Thanks," Merlin says dryly.
"You've never had sex before and you want your first time to be in an orgy where you have no control over the situation?"
Merlin has already come to the realisation that it might not have been the best idea, thanks ever so much.
"I told you it was stupid."
There's a sigh and then Merlin feels the bed dip. "It's not stupid."
"Really," Merlin says flatly. "You just made a huge show out of telling me how idiotic it is."
"It is," Mystery Guy says, and Merlin kind of wants to strangle him. "But I understand why you did it. If you didn't know who to turn to."
Entwining his fingers, Merlin rests his hands in his lap and wishes for the billionth time that his life wasn't his life.
"You're not going to give me the speech about how totally okay it is to be a virgin at 18, are you?"
"Hell no," Mystery Guy says and Merlin is almost surprised when the laugh tumbles out of him.
"Good, because I don't wanna hear it."
An awkward silence settles over them and Merlin wonders if the guy gave up on finding his clothes. If so, is he stuck here forever until his mum puts out a report for a missing person?
"They're probably having fun downstairs," Merlin says after a while, smirking a little.
The guy snorts. "Probably. But maybe you should put that kind of fun off until you can find the right side of a dick."
"Fuck off."
The guy laughs and somehow the atmosphere between them lightens a little.
Merlin still starts when he feels the light press of fingers against his jaw. His heart jumps into his throat, making it impossible for his voice to not sound strangled.
"What are you doing?"
The guy's breath is on his neck, fanning over his skin, eliciting shivers that run down Merlin's back to his thighs.
"You're really gorgeous, do you know that?" The tone of his voice is low and intimate, and it curls hot in Merlin's stomach.
He's helpless against the stirring in his cock. This might be awkward if it's not going the way he thinks it's going.
"What are you doing?" he asks, even if it should probably be obvious.
Mystery Guy huffs a laugh into his neck, lips brushing briefly over his skin. "What does it look like?"
"Well, I'm sorry, but this is sort of sudden," Merlin says and then wants to kick himself in the face. Why is he protesting?
The guy pulls away and Merlin immediately regrets opening his stupid mouth.
"I wanted to fuck you," he says. "But not in front of everyone else. And definitely not with anyone else."
Merlin can't help his smirk. "So your act of incredible selflessness was a lie?"
"Partly."
The guy's hand is on his jaw again, angling his head slightly. He can feel his proximity now, the heat of him close and his breath brushing across Merlin's lips.
"Is this a pity fuck?" Merlin asks, voice quiet.
"I fuck people cause I want to."
"You're not like, 60, are you?"
The guy laughs and Merlin can feel him shake. "Jesus, no. I'm 18."
"So you say."
He grabs Merlin's hand and places it on his face, guiding Merlin's thumb over his cheekbone, to the corner of his eye and down to his lips. Merlin brushes his thumb across his mouth, his breath getting stuck in his chest.
"Seem good enough to you?"
"Eh," Merlin says, shrugging.
The guy shoves Merlin so he falls sideways onto the bed and Merlin laughs, swinging his legs up onto the covers. He can't feel the guy nearby, but he hears him, and he's pretty sure he's undressing. There's the sound of a belt falling to the floor and Merlin takes a deep breath, trying to calm the strange tingling under his skin.
The bed dips and two big hands push Merlin's legs apart. Merlin bites his lip. He feels exposed, his half-hard cock more than visible like this. The guy puts something on the bed next to Merlin before placing both of his hands back on Merlin's inner thighs.
Breathing is hard.
"Are you sure you want to do the whole thing?"
"Yeah," Merlin says without hesitation. "That's why I came here tonight. I mean, obviously I didn't think the whole orgy part through, but I've definitely been thinking about the fucking part. A lot."
"Oh, yeah?" The guy runs his hand up Merlin's thigh, letting it rest on the jut of his hip. "Anyone in particular you think of?"
Merlin frowns under the blindfold. "Yeah, I mean, it's hard not to. But I try to avoid it because his ego is big enough already."
Arthur has enough people drooling over him at their school, and Merlin is more than a little pissed off at himself for adding to the pile. Plus, it's not like he'll ever get to do anything with Arthur anyway. Merlin is pretty much a part of the common folk.
The guy shifts forwards. "You know there are several ways to be a non-virgin, right? I mean, I can just blow you. That totally counts."
"I know it counts, I'm not an idiot," Merlin says. "If you don't want to, you don't have to."
Mystery Guy bends over him, then. His hands press into the bed on either side of Merlin and he hovers over him, heat radiating from him. Merlin can't suppress the shiver of anticipation.
The guy's lips are soft and careful at first. He kisses Merlin like he's trying not to scare a skittish animal and Merlin wants none of that. He might not have fucked anyone before, but he's not completely helpless, nor is he breakable.
Merlin's hands find the guy's side, bracketing his ribs as Merlin opens his mouth into the kiss, licking at his upper lip. There's a surprise whoosh of breath from Mystery Guy and Merlin takes advantage of his surprise, pulling him down until they're pressed together and Merlin is sucking on his tongue.
Mystery Guy groans, finally letting himself go a little and twists his hands into Merlin's hair now that he no longer has to hold himself up.
Merlin's cock hardens, feeling heavy and almost too erect already. He hitches his hips in response to the enthusiastic kiss and the feeling of warm skin under his hands. A startled moan falls out of him when his cock slides along Mystery Guy's.
He breaks the kiss involuntarily, breathing hard as the muscles in his stomach clench at the feeling.
"Holy shit," he says, his voice full of awe.
Leaning forwards, he presses his forehead to Mystery Guy's, trying to get his breath back.
Mystery Guy laughs, elated and breathless. "I wasn't prepared for that."
"Yeah, well, I'm a virgin, not completely clueless. I probably won't break." Merlin runs his hand down the broad expanse of back. There are muscles. Defined ones. "Well, probably not. Maybe a little."
One of his hands twists in Mystery Guy's hair. It's incredibly soft and the moan he gets when he tugs at it a little goes straight to his dick.
"Okay, you might actually break me," he says, fumbling a little when he tries to find his lips.
Cupping Merlin's face between his hands, Mystery Guy takes control of the kiss. It's with more purpose this time, deep and perfect and toe-curling.
"Who are you even?" Merlin asks, and he doesn't know if he means it as a question or if it's a rhetorical statement.
Kisses are pressed to Merlin's neck, lips dragging over the point of his pulse. "Not important."
It is important. Merlin feels it under his skin. He inhales, and the smell is familiar. The width of his grin is almost painful, even if he doesn't know if he can believe it. He wishes he could see. Because he doesn't know, not really. Maybe he just wants it to be true.
The nerves he felt downstairs, the ones that almost devoured him, are gone. He's tense with anticipation and part of him is overwhelmed, but he's not worried. It feels better this way, like he has some sort of control even if he's still blindfolded – even if his body shudders uncontrollably when the guy licks a trail down his chest.
His fingers are still buried in Mystery Guy's hair when the head of Merlin's cock brushes against his lips. Bucking up into the sensation, Merlin let's out a shaky breath, a sensation of something bursting in his chest.
When Mystery Guy's lips close around him, Merlin turns his head to the side and whines into the covers. His hips have to be pinned down as he tries to push, to get more, and somehow the large hand splayed on his hip, holding him down, just makes it better.
It's nothing like he thought it'd be, and just the same, all at once. It's like his brain is leaking out of his head, making him incoherent and unable to control the movements of his body, let alone the sounds coming out of him. His fingers curl in Mystery Guy's hair, and he knows it must hurt, but he can't quite loosen his grip. He tugs instead and then Mystery Guys groans. Around his cock.
Merlin's breath is punched out of him and he squirms, almost unable to believe the hot, perfect, wet heat enclosing his dick.
"Oh my god," he says, breathless. "I fucking can't–"
The guy's tongue circles his head, hitting a spot below it that makes Merlin's back arch off the bed and shout incoherently.
"Oh god, I'm gonna… Jesus, you have to stop."
He's released with a pop and the guy retreats a little, as if he realises that Merlin needs space.
His chest heaves and he tries to get a grip on himself. Desperately trying not to dwell on the feeling of those lips around him, on the pure knowledge that his dick was in someone's mouth, he squeezes his eyes shut under the fabric.
"Please fuck me," he says, his voice sounding fucked out already.
The guy's hand digs into his hip. "Fucking hell."
Lube is strange. There's no other way around it. It's wet and slick and foreign. Feeling himself open up around a finger is fucking weird, too, and he knows he'll have more than that soon. The thought makes him clench.
"Relax."
Easy for him to say. He's not the virgin.
It takes forever. And he's glad it does. He's opened up slowly, fingers coaxing him open with a patience that makes fondness burn in Merlin's chest. He wants to pull the guy up and kiss him because he needed this: the slowness of it, the gradual build of the pressure stretching him open in a way that makes him feel like a totally different person.
It's hard to breathe, his thoughts scattered and slow as he starts rocking against the fingers fucking him open with so much tender patience.
It would probably be really awkward to cry.
It's only when the fingers disappear that he feels the nerves again. His muscles clutch at nothing and he whines, one hand curled into the covers. A swift kiss is pressed to the groove of his hip and Merlin smiles, despite himself.
"I'll go slow." The guy sounds wrecked, his patience probably worn so thin by now that it's nearly invisible.
Merlin doesn't feel like there's anything else to say but "Thank you."
Feeling the head of his cock against the rim is overwhelming. He tenses, trying to remind himself that he wants this. He's wanted it for so long. Other people do this. He can do this too, surely.
The guy puts his hands on Merlin's skin wherever he can reach, running his fingers in soothing patterns. "Breathe."
Merlin gulps in a deep breath and before he can release it, the guy pushes in, just a little. Merlin's leg jerks and he swears, digging his fingers into the covers at the burn of it. He'd been stretched open, but this is something else entirely. This is a sense of fullness that can't be compared to anything.
His erection flags a little at the painful stretch. He knows he whimpers. He'd be embarrassed about it, but he doesn't have the presence of mind. There's no way around it: it hurts.
But it's good too. There's no pleasure in it, not yet, but there's such a good feeling from being filled, from feeling the steady slide of his cock going in and in, until Merlin thinks he can't possibly go any longer.
When he's pushed to the hilt, the guy pauses over him and bends down, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
"See? You're taking it like a professional."
Merlin shakes with laughter, pushing at him. "Don't be an arse."
The guy does nothing, not even when Merlin circles his hips experimentally. He gets used to the feeling, dwelling on the stretch and burn of it until it doesn't feel quite as intense.
"Please move," he says, quietly.
The guy doesn't.
"Move, you fucking bastard."
The guy just laughs.
"I swear to god," Merlin says, angling his hips up desperately. "Fuck me, please. Arthur."
There's a sharp intake of breath and he knows he wasn't wrong.
"Oh, fuck. Merlin," Arthur says and then he clearly loses the control he had, rolling his hips.
Merlin throws his head back, the slide of Arthur's cock inside him turning his brain into a scrambled mess.
The blindfold is yanked from his head and he squints against the sudden light, trying to focus his eyes. But Arthur chooses that moment to really fuck into him with hard, steady thrusts and Merlin just holds on.
He gets a glimpse of Arthur's blonde hair as he buries his face into Merlin's neck.
"I can't believe you fucking knew it was me," he says, voice breathless.
Merlin laughs, the thrusts making it shaky and a little ridiculous. Arthur smiles against his skin.
"You're a dickbag wherever you are," Merlin says, meaning it as an insult, but it comes out fondly.
If Arthur replies, Merlin is too far gone to pick up on it. He just lets the feeling of Arthur's cock filling him over and over take him to a place where he doesn't know up from down. His cock is hard again, so hard that it's actually painful. It's trapped between them and he whines, trying to get a hand down to let himself come.
Arthur shushes him and props himself up on his elbows, giving Merlin the room to circle his hand around his dick, tugging at it desperately.
It only takes about two seconds. Arthur hits a spot inside him that makes him shake just as he really thinks about the fact that it's Arthur fucking him because he wants to. Arthur kissed him. Arthur called him gorgeous. Arthur, Arthur, Arthur.
He comes all over his own chest and it hits him so hard he can't breathe. He gasps for air, throwing his head back as his heart races. It's overwhelming and unreal. He can feel himself clenching around Arthur who is still fucking him through it, and it takes him to a place of bliss that he can't even explain.
He's still breathing hard when Arthur's thrusts get erratic, and watching his face is yet another punch to the gut. Fucking Arthur is his new favourite thing. He watches, wrung out and boneless, when Arthur pulls out, takes off the condom and starts jerking himself off.
His cock is beautiful in his fist, so hard and wet with pre-come. Merlin wants it in his mouth, sometime. He wants it everywhere. He wants Arthur's come everywhere too. He wants it on his face and in his mouth and in his arse. His softening cock gives a desperate twitch and he groans.
Arthur's eyes lock with his. They're wide and slightly wild. Merlin can only watch in silence as Arthur's eyes squeeze shut and he shudders, groaning, his come spilling out over Merlin's cock.
"Why didn't you let me take my blindfold off earlier?" Merlin asks.
They're lying next to each other on the bed, shoulder to shoulder, but Arthur's leg is hooked around his.
"Thought you'd tell me to get lost," Arthur mutters, turning his head to look at him. "It's not like I've ever really talked to you before."
Merlin hums. "You are a bit of a dick."
Arthur bumps him with his shoulder and Merlin laughs.
"I can't believe you were going to lose your virginity in an orgy."
"Shut up." Merlin hides his face in his hands.
Arthur tugs at his wrists, laughing when Merlin won't budge. Breath is forced out of Merlin when Arthur suddenly straddles him, pressing his hands away.
"It's kind of adorable."
Merlin whines pitifully. "I hate you. You're the worst."
Arthur grabs his wrists and Merlin squirms under him, but can't stop Arthur from pinning his hands above his head.
"No, you're the worst," Arthur says, kissing him so softly that Merlin's chest aches.
