'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Everyone was stirring (but there was no mouse)
The jammies were folded in the closet with care
With the knowledge Bill Maxwell soon would be there
Pam in her nightgown, and Ralph in his shorts
Going over a legal brief Pam needed for court
When out on the porch there arose such a clatter
The rushed to the door to see what was the matter
As they turned the deadbolt and pulled on the knob
Behold, it was Maxwell, with a last-minute job
And, in a flash, to the closet Ralph went
Tripping over the presents Kevin had sent
In a moment or two, they were all in the car
Learning how the scenario was going so far
All of a sudden, Bill's car! It shut down!
The three of the got to looking around
The windows were locked and the car shifted gear
Not the Green guys! That was Bill's biggest fear!
So they drove and they drove for who knows how long
When on came the radio, with "the Christmas Song"!
The car stopped moving and the trio got out
Waiting to see what this was all about
And up in the sky, from behind clouds so thick--
I'm sure they all knew that it wasn't Saint Nick
--Down came the spaceship from up in the sky
Bill, Ralph, and Pam all wondering why
Then in the car, the radio went crazy
And the light from the ship got a bit hazy
The message was delivered as the ship drew near:
"Have. . .a. . .Merry Christmas. . .and. . .have a. . .Happy. . .New Year. . ."
Before a word from the three could be said
The lights on the ship blinked green and red
They stood there enjoying the festive glow
When, to their surprise, it started to snow!
As quick as the ship came, it shot out of sight
Far, far away and into the night
They couldn't believe the night that they'd had
Bill said they should go now, before it got bad
And as they returned home, Ralph smiled and he said,
"Merry Christmas to all! I'm going to bed!"
