'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Everyone was stirring (but there was no mouse)

The jammies were folded in the closet with care

With the knowledge Bill Maxwell soon would be there

Pam in her nightgown, and Ralph in his shorts

Going over a legal brief Pam needed for court

When out on the porch there arose such a clatter

The rushed to the door to see what was the matter

As they turned the deadbolt and pulled on the knob

Behold, it was Maxwell, with a last-minute job

And, in a flash, to the closet Ralph went

Tripping over the presents Kevin had sent

In a moment or two, they were all in the car

Learning how the scenario was going so far

All of a sudden, Bill's car! It shut down!

The three of the got to looking around

The windows were locked and the car shifted gear

Not the Green guys! That was Bill's biggest fear!

So they drove and they drove for who knows how long

When on came the radio, with "the Christmas Song"!

The car stopped moving and the trio got out

Waiting to see what this was all about

And up in the sky, from behind clouds so thick--

I'm sure they all knew that it wasn't Saint Nick

--Down came the spaceship from up in the sky

Bill, Ralph, and Pam all wondering why

Then in the car, the radio went crazy

And the light from the ship got a bit hazy

The message was delivered as the ship drew near:

"Have. . .a. . .Merry Christmas. . .and. . .have a. . .Happy. . .New Year. . ."

Before a word from the three could be said

The lights on the ship blinked green and red

They stood there enjoying the festive glow

When, to their surprise, it started to snow!

As quick as the ship came, it shot out of sight

Far, far away and into the night

They couldn't believe the night that they'd had

Bill said they should go now, before it got bad

And as they returned home, Ralph smiled and he said,

"Merry Christmas to all! I'm going to bed!"