Chapter 18: The Fed

Shadow Realm, January 15th, 2017

"So… is it straining to keep a small portal open all the time?" James Lake Jr asked as he turned from looking at the Shadows floating in the distance to Claire.

"No," Claire replied. After a moment, she added: "Not really. It's just… like wearing a thick coat. A slight weight you only feel when you think about it."

"You carry the burden of our Internet access on your shoulders, then?" Jim joked.

Claire laughed. "You could say so. Or, rather, Dawn and Willow's Internet access. The rest doesn't seem to be as, ah, in need of around the clock Internet as those two."

"Addicted?" Jim asked.

"Willow's doing research," Claire replied. "And Dawn's 'conducting a misinformation campaign', or so she says."

Jim snorted, then blinked. "Oh. Wouldn't anyone be able to find out where we are by checking which cell tower our devices connect to?"

"I thought so, but Willow claims she has it handled," Claire told him. "Apparently, it matches wherever Dawn claims she is."

Jim frowned. That sounded like… something illegal. Probably. Then again, robbing a Walmart wasn't exactly legal, either. Nor was borrowing a bunch of campers. "Alright then."

Claire nodded, then sighed and stared at the moving shadows. When she didn't say anything, Jim tilted his head and asked: "Something wrong? Other than, well, our problem with Glory? And Gunmar?" He knew better than mentioning Enrique.

"It's just… I feel everyone is counting on me," she said. "I am the only one able to open portals. If I… Without me, no one can enter - or leave - this dimension. Everything, everyone depends on me."

Oh. Jim bit his lower lip for a moment. That… he should've expected that. He should've said something. "Well… I know how you feel," he said slowly. "It's, well, not the same, but very similar for me. I'm the Trollhunter, after all."

"But you're not alone. We can help you - we even delivered packages for you," Claire said, smiling a little.

"And you're not alone, either," Jim told her. "We're here; we'll help you. I'll help you." And I'll protect you. Even if it costs me my life, he silently added.

"Thanks," she said, smiling and putting a hand on his chest.

"We'll get through this," he told her. "And we'll get Enrique back."

And there went her smile. Stupid. Stupid.

"I know," she said.

But she was forcing herself to sound as if she meant it, Jim could tell. He slowly reached out, spread his arms, and she sighed and embraced him.

They stood like that for a while. Long enough for Jim to glance over his shoulder back at the camp, in case someone was watching. It didn't seem to be the case. But Claire's parents still didn't like him.


"Go away, you… monster!"

"Hey! I'm just here to grab a bite to eat!"

"Go away, or I'll throw you over the edge!"

James Lake Jr winced at the shouting he heard on the way back.

"Oh, no! That's Papa and Not-Enrique!" Claire exclaimed.

They rushed back. Mr Nuñez was standing at the main table, glaring at Not-Enrique and pointing a broom at him. It would've been comical if not for the whole situation with Glory and with Gunmar and Enrique.

"Papa!" Claire blurted out. "What are you doing?"

"Hey, Sis! He's trying to keep me from getting a snack!"

"I don't want this monster near me!" Mr Nuñez replied. "It's responsible for kidnapping Enrique!"

"Hey! That wasn't my fault - I just get my orders, I don't pick the targets!"

"Papa! It's not his fault, and he's helping us."

Jim clenched his teeth. Trying to get involved wouldn't help. But he was the Trollhunter, and dealing with conflicts between trolls and humans was his duty. And Not-Enrique was a troll, sort of. "Mr Nuñez," he said. "We're all in this together. We need to work together to get through this. Not-Enriquez has been a great help - without him, we wouldn't know as much about where your son is being held."

And Claire's dad was now glaring at him. Jim winced while Not-Enrique used the distraction to grab the entire bowl of dried fruit and scamper away.

"Papa! Jim's right! We have to work together!"

"That… that doesn't mean I have to work with that…" Mr Nuñez turned his head and trailed off as he noticed that the changeling had disappeared. "Where did… He took all the dried apples!"

"I'll get another bag," Jim said, hastily making his own exit.

"Wait!"

"Papa!"

Jim clenched his teeth and sped up a little. Not quite running. But he was looking forward to getting back to Arcadia Oaks, even if it meant risking a run-in with Glory.


Outside Arcadia Oaks, January 15th, 2017

Buffy Summers spotted the guy they were meeting as soon as they stepped onto the parking lot of the small diner that Giles had picked as their meeting spot. Tall man wearing a suit. Like in the movies.

"I'll keep a small portal open," Claire said as she closed the portal behind them, hiding amongst a few trees.

Buffy wasn't really listening - she was looking at the Fed. The federal agent - was that FBI? Or another agency? - didn't look like he had slept well, she thought. He wasn't slumped over or obviously fighting sleep as he sat at the table in the corner, but he looked like he had spent the night in his suit. Which he probably had, she realised. And at his age - he looked to be about as old as Giles - that wasn't a good thing.

She didn't say that out loud, of course, as they entered the diner and headed towards the man. Giles was a little sensitive about his age.

"Mr Moore?" Giles asked as he reached the table. "I'm Mr Giles."

"Special Agent Moore," the man replied. He looked at Buffy, Jim and Claire, and Buffy noticed a slight twist of his lips - the hint of a frown.

She beamed at him. Killing someone with kindness was always nice. Almost as nice as kicking their asses. "Hi! I'm Buffy. The Slayer. This is Jim, and this is Claire. They're the Trollhunters. Well, two-thirds of the Trollhunters."

"Hello, Special Agent," Jim said, nodding.

"Hello." Claire nodded a bit slower.

"Kids." Moore turned to Giles. "I heard you were working with kids but I didn't believe it until now."

"Sadly, You were misinformed. These 'kids' are working with me," Giles told him as he flagged down the waitress.

Oh! Buffy grabbed the menu. Mh… perfect! "I'll have the Beef Burger Deluxe!" she told the waitress as soon as the woman took a step in their direction. "And a large diet coke!"

"Uh… I'll have the bacon and egg sandwich," Jim said.

"Cesar salad," Claire added.

"I'd like the t-bone, medium, with fries," Giles said. Buff resisted making a joke about him ordering chips instead. He still claimed he had never made that mistake.

Moore kept frowning until the woman was out of earshot. "I was read in. The Council controls the Slayer."

"The exact details of the relationship between the Slayer and the Council are private," Giles replied. "Suffice to say that in the field, the Slayer makes the calls."

Buffy nodded. "Though everyone gets to have their say if there's time to debate. We're kinda liberal that way. Californian, you know?" She grinned.

Judging by Moore's expression, he was neither Californian nor did he know. Or approve.

"And we're working with the Trollhunters for this, which is a different group and not in any chain of command," Buffy went on. "Still, it tends to work out."

Moore narrowed his eyes, then stared at Giles.

Giles smiled in return. "Do not worry about the operative needs - we have experience dealing with global threats of a supernatural nature. We require assistance with handling the local authorities and mundane needs."

"I was briefed on the situation," Moore replied.

He seemed to be ignoring Buffy and the others. She narrowed her eyes for a moment, then smiled again. "You're basically cover-up-guy. And speaking of cover-ups, we need excuses for several civilians we had to evacuate. You know, for employers and the cops and so on."

"We can arrange protective custody."

"You couldn't protect anyone from Glory," she told him. "We've got that handled; all we need is you to keep the cops from wasting time investigating us." As if she'd let the guy take her family hostage!

"My agency has a lot of experience with hiding endangered people," Moore retorted.

"And have you any experience with stopping a hell-goddess that can shrug off bullets without noticing?" Buffy scoffed. "And might be able to get a witch or warlock to find her targets?"

Moore clenched his teeth - she saw his jaw muscles twitch. Why had the Feds sent this guy? Was no other agent available? Well, it had been the weekend, but still! "At least we don't send kids into battle!" he spat.

"No one sends us into battle - that's our decision," Claire snapped, frowning at the agent.

"Unfortunately, the supernatural world doesn't always conform to modern views about adulthood," Giles said. "Nevertheless, I understand your concerns, but as I said: We have experience with this sort of situation. And, as callous as it might sound, the stakes are too high for diverting any resource to discussing this. Glorificus represents an existential threat to the entire world. Every single human soul depends on us not failing in our task. Which is why I request your full cooperation, Agent Moore, regardless of your personal views."

"Or biases," Buffy mumbled. Moore didn't seem to notice, though - he was staring at Giles.

"You were read in," Giles commented, "about the scope of our situation, weren't you?"

"I wasn't told that this was the apocalypse," Moore replied.

"That's one apocalypse," Buffy corrected him. "Not the apocalypse."

The man turned to glare at her. "What?"

"What Buffy is hinting at," Giles explained, "is that this is not the first global threat, so to speak, that we've dealt with."

Moore looked taken aback, but Buffy wasn't quite sure that he really believed them. No, she was pretty sure he didn't. Didn't want to, at least.


"So, you claim to have saved California from being destroyed by monsters."

"Yes, Special Agent." Mr Giles sounded polite and professional even though the agent wasn't either. James Lake Jr wished he had that self-control.

"And yet, no one knows about this."

"You don't know about it. The US Army does - we did have to save their butts, after all," the Slayer cut in. "But you know how it is - need to know. Minions don't get told the big picture." She flashed a wide smile at the scowling man.

Jim took a bite of his bacon and egg sandwich and frowned. He could've made a better sandwich - a little less seasoning would've improved the taste considerably. Although that wasn't really what irked him - it was still a decent sandwich. But the way 'Special Agent Moore' was ignoring him and Claire as if they didn't matter... Agent Moore hadn't even asked what they did and could do. The man would probably ignore the Slayer, too, if not for her needling him. Why had the government sent such a man?

Of course, Jim wasn't the Trollhunter for praise and fame. You did what was right, no matter whether people knew it or not. And boasting… He almost shuddered at the thought of acting like Steve. But a little recognition would be nice.

Especially for Claire, he added with a glance at her. She was crucial for the whole thing they did - without her, they couldn't keep Dawn safe from Glory. Hell, without Claire's portals, all of them would have been killed already; they wouldn't have been able to escape Glory. And Moore was treating her like some little girl of no consequence.

Judging by the expression on her face when she stabbed at her salad, it seemed that she shared Jim's thoughts. He moved his elbow, touching hers, and when she looked at him, he smiled at her. It was the best he could do without talking in front of Moore about how stupid the man was being.

She smiled back, then scowled at Moore. "Do you require a demonstration, Special Agent?"

"Oh, yes!" The Slayer perked up. "We could drop him into the ocean."

"I am aware of the existence of the supernatural," Moore replied with a slight sneer. "I have dealt with such cases before." He tilted his head slightly.

"Oh, that's the reason you're like this!" The Slayer chuckled. "You're one of those 'hunters' who kill a vampire or two and think they are ready for the big leagues."

"Buffy," Mr Gile said, frowning, "There's no need to be confrontational. It's perfectly understandable that Special Agent Moore is sceptical of the scope of the threat Glorificus represents. And no demonstration of your personal prowess or our allies' powers will be able to convince him."

Moore's frown deepened, even though Mr Giles had supported him. "I don't need to believe you to do my job."

"Indeed." Mr Giles smiled politely.

The Slayer mumbled something about wishing Riley were here.

"However," Mr Giles went on, "It would probably not go amiss to make you more familiar with our capabilities, so you have a better understanding of our needs."

"I already know that Miss Summers is able to beat vampires in hand to hand combat," the man replied.

"I can do so much more than that!"

"Buffy is much more than merely a martial artist," Mr Giles said. "As are Mr Lake and Miss Nuñez. Please understand that fighting demons does require much more than merely the physical strength to match them."

"I'm aware of that."

"Intellectually, yes. But I dare say that you don't understand it emotionally. Few do until they are faced with greater and more complicated threats than the average demon."

"Yeah, Riley took a while to understand that it's not about shooting them."

Jim cleared his throat. "It's really not about fighting. Not just, I mean - we do have to fight Gumm-Gumms and goblins and such. But it's about protecting people. Convincing them to work with you, not against you. And to understand your enemy."

"Yes," the Slayer chimed in, nodding emphatically. "It's all about the research before you get to the slaying. You need to find your enemy's weakness before you can take them out."

That wasn't exactly wrong, but not quite what Jim had wanted to say. Before he could voice his thoughts, though, Claire spoke up: "It's about working together, Special Agent."

"I'm here to do that," Moore replied. "I've got my orders and I know my duty."

"But how can we work together," Jim asked before he could stop himself, "if you don't want to listen to us? We've got the experience."

"You can't," the Slayer replied before Moore could.

Which wasn't helpful.

Moore glared at all of them - including Mr Giles. "You're kids," he spat. "You're not even out of high school."

"I'm in college!" the Slayer protested. "Second year! OK, my attendance isn't the best, but I'm passing my classes!"

"This isn't about our education, but our experience as Trollhunters," Claire told the agent. "And as the Slayer," she added with a glance at the woman in question. "You shouldn't just dismiss us because of our youth."

"Indeed." Mr Giles nodded. "And while you have valid concerns about teenagers fighting, it would be foolish to dismiss them merely because of their age. No matter the reasons, they are amongst our most experienced and most powerful members in our ranks."

"They're still teenagers."

"I'm almost twenty!" the Slayer blurted out. "Just four more days!" She blinked, then gasped. "Oh my God! I'm going to have to celebrate my twentieth birthday in… here!"

"Well, the food is decent," Mr Giles commented.

"Giles! That's not what I meant!"

Seeing Moore's expression, Jim suddenly felt a close connection to the man.

"Can we worry about actually important issues?" Claire asked in a clipped tone.

"I concur." Mr Giles nodded. "I feel you should be made aware of the current, ah, political situation in Greater Arcadia Oaks, Special Agent."

That meant Trollmarket. Jim licked his lips. He couldn't betray the trust of the trolls, so that meant only the basics. Enough so the agent understood what more was at stake. "We're the Trollhunters. We defend the local troll settlement against the Hordes of Gunmar, the evil troll leader who wants to conquer the world. He's been banished to the Darklands, another dimension, but works on escaping - and he has agents on Earth. Changelings - trolls that can take human forms and were raised as humans practically from birth." He heard Claire take a deep breath and patted her thigh. "They have infiltrated society, which means you can't trust anyone we haven't vetted."

"What? That old myth about changelings replacing babies is true?" Moore asked.

"Yes," Claire hissed. "My baby brother was taken." She stared at the man - daring him to make light of it, Jim thought.

Moore pressed his lips together. "I see. And do they turn to stone when the sunlight hits them?"

"No. Not in their human form," Jim told him.

"So they're worse than vampires." Moore nodded.

"Yes. They can enter your home uninvited as well," the Slayer said. "And holy water doesn't hurt them. I think."

"We never tried it," Claire told them. "But if it worked, we wouldn't have needed Gaggletacks to reveal their true form. We could just have splashed them with holy water."

"Well, there are other demons who would burn when doused with holy water," the Slayer said. "But it wouldn't hurt to expose them, either. Unless, of course, they hurt you in return."

"Great." Moore spat through clenched teeth. "I'll have to pose as an agent from the counter-terrorism department."

"That would likely be helpful in maintaining your cover, but I fear that should you overtly help us, the agents of our enemies would realise that you are working with us," Mr Giles told him.

Moore narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "Do you have any more good news?"

"Glory might try to kidnap you if you mess up? And drain your brain?" the Slayer suggested.

"Buffy," Mr Giles muttered.

"What? It's true!"

"I'll have to be more careful than planned, then. Use someone else to place the cover stories and act as if I want your families found." Moore sighed. "Great."

Jim felt a slight pang of guilt - they were causing the agent to take a huge risk helping them. On the other hand, that was his job. And unlike Jim, he was getting paid for it. And volunteered. Probably.

"That's why we need to brief you about our capabilities," the Slayer told the agent. "So you can ask for help when you need it."

"If they come after you, we can save you," Claire added.

"What? You'll teleport me to your base?"

"Not exactly teleport, no, but close enough," Jim said.

"It won't help if you're caught somewhere we don't know," the Slayer said. "Glory can move faster than your eyes can track. But if you can run from a changeling or demon and text us, we can get to you quickly." She perked up. "Oh, and we can also hack computer systems if you need your tracks covered."

"That would be illegal," Moore pointed out.

"You're the government; you decide what's legal and what's not," the Slayer retorted.

"That's not how it works," the agent told her.

"I'll reiterate: If we fail to defeat Glory's attempt to gain the key, the world will end. Violating a few laws about computer security shouldn't be a problem," Mr Giles said.

"Tell that to my superiors."

"We will, Special Agent - if it's needed."

"The government covered up a lot more than some hacking," the Slayer said with a snort. "You should worry about staying alive, not about breaking laws."

"Actually, avoiding illegal actions is sound advice," Mr Giles said, "as long as that doesn't endanger anyone."

Moore sighed. "So, what can you do, exactly?"

Jim smiled. "Well, it's mostly Claire here..."


"...and that's how the portals work," Claire said, pulling her staff back. "I can open one to a place or a person I know."

Buffy Summers nodded. "And she can open it beneath you, so you don't even have to step through it - you fall through it! It gets a bit disorienting when suddenly, below is on the side, and you fall out of a vertical portal, but that's still better than getting your head smashed in by an angry hell-goddess."

Claire frowned at her, but Buffy ignored that. The witch had done this to Buffy, so Buffy got to tell it.

"I see." Moore shook his head. "You could catch a fugitive easily like that if you knew them."

"And if they are relatively close. The greater the distance, the more tiring it gets," Claire replied.

"Thinking of catching criminals that way?" Buffy asked.

"Of course," the agent admitted. "Just imagine how many terrorists we could catch easily."

"Yeah, and then imagine how many terrorists would start working with demons to counter this," Buffy retorted.

"Indeed. While tempting, meddling in politics is far too dangerous. One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter, after all," Giles agreed. "If other states start thinking that our organisation has taken sides, they will no longer cooperate with us, which could have fatal consequences for a great many people. And if foreign governments start turning to demons, we might be facing multiple apocalypses. It's not worth introducing magic to law enforcement."

"We could stick to criminals," the agent pointed out.

"And would others believe us?" Giles shook his head. "The danger of upsetting the - limited but working - agreements that allow us to intervene anywhere on Earth is too great. Not to mention that other countries would expect us to help catch criminals as well - and their definition of a criminal might not align with yours or ours."

"Yeah," Buffy chimed in. "And we saw what happens when the government starts meddling with demony stuff. It's not pretty."

"What happened?"

She tilted her head and gave the agent a look. As if she'd spill the beans on the Initiative! "You don't have the security clearance for that. But it was really ugly. If we hadn't stepped in, we wouldn't be here to talk about it. Or not talk about it."

The man scoffed. "So… you can open portals all around the town, and the main suspect won't be able to enter them, but anyone else can. Such as demons working for the suspect."

"Just call her 'Glory'. Or 'skanky hell-goddess'," Buffy said with a smile. The agent wasn't as dumb as she had thought. Just cranky. And a little bit like Riley, probably - he didn't seem to like answering to people who weren't as old as he was.

"The correct name would be 'Glorificus'," Giles added, "but Glory works."

Of course it did! "Anyway, that's about it."

"More or less," Jim agreed. "There are a few more points. If you encounter goblins, remember that killing one of them will make all the others swear vengeance on you. Don't kill the good trolls."

"And how can I tell a good troll from an evil troll?"

"The evil trolls generally try to kill and eat you," Jim told him.

Buffy suppressed a snort at the boy's deadpan delivery. So, the guy could quip.

"And don't trust anyone here unless we vetted them," Claire said. "Detective Scott is vetted, by the way."

"You didn't check more people?" Moore asked.

"We did more checks, but we couldn't really ask to touch police officers and other authority figures with an enchanted piece of iron without drawing attention," Jim replied.

Moore nodded - a little reluctantly, or so Buffy thought. "I see."

"Good. Anyway, you've got our number. We'll be trying to keep our internet and cellphone connections open when we're in hiding, but if we're in the field, someone should get your text," Buffy said. "We'll do our best to help you."

"Although Claire might be exhausted," Jim said. "So, we cannot promise you to always be available to save you."

"I'll take that into account." Moore checked his watch. "Time to annoy the locals, then." He shook his head. "That won't earn the Bureau any goodwill."

"Yeah, been there, done that," Buffy said. "People never understand what you have to do to keep them safe from demons."

"Undank ist der Weltenlohn," Claire said.

Buffy stared at her. "What?"

"Señor Uhl said that once," the girl explained. "It means people won't be grateful, or not for long."

"Story of my life," Buffy muttered.

"Mr Uhl is your German teacher?" Moore asked.

"No. He teaches Spanish," Jim said.

"Ah, he's of German descent, then."

"No, he's Austrian," Claire told the agent. Both Trollhunters grinned.

The agent shook his head and scoffed. "I see."

Buffy really wanted to tell him that she doubted that but held her tongue. He wasn't a scooby and would probably not appreciate the ribbing.

She watched Moore settle his bill - he didn't offer to cover theirs - and leave before sighing. "Alright. That's done. For now."

"And what do we do now?" Jim asked.

"Get some campers," Buffy replied. "I really want a private shower."

The way the two Trollhunters blushed, they weren't a fan of showering behind some thin plastic curtain, either. Well, that should settle any moral scruples that they might have.

"So..." She leaned over the table. "Before we order more food: Do you know a camper and RV dealer in the region?"


"More food?" James Lake Jr asked, then shook his head; the Slayer ate like a horse. Or worse. "Never mind."

"I don't know of any such dealer," Claire said, sipping from her tea. "But that should be easy to find." She didn't pull out her smartphone, though, Jim noticed. Oh - she must not want the search in her history.

Neither did Jim, now that it came to it. With three families disappearing, and a break-in at Walmart's camping section, they would be the top suspects for the theft of a couple of campers. "Can't we have the government pay for them?"

"In theory, we could pay with Council funds and ask to be reimbursed," Mr Giles said. "Though I doubt that the Council would agree; exposing our finances wouldn't sit well with them, and asking the US government for money would give them leverage. I might disagree with the Council on several key issues, but staying independent of the US authorities is not amongst them."

"Yeah. Wouldn't want them to think we owe them for saving their butts," the Slayer said. "So, let's get Willow to find us a target, then raid it. With some luck, we can use it to lure Glory away as well."

"How?" Jim asked. Glory hadn't struck him as the detective type. On the other hand, if that was how she had found the Slayer's group in Arcadia Oaks…

"Rentals have some locator thingie, right? If we let them do their thing and open a portal to somewhere else, we could lead anyone tracking them around the country.

"And link it to our cell phones, which will be connecting from the same location," Claire said.

Jim winced. That would be as good as proof that they were the thieves.

"OK, scratch that idea. Let's just get the trailers and have Willow go over them to remove those things. Or Xander - he did some work for his uncle, who has a car shop." She grinned. "But first: More food!"


Shadow Realm, January 15th, 2017

"I found a dealer! An RV dealer, I mean!"

Upon hearing her shout, James Lake turned towards Willow.

The witch was beaming.

"Took you long enough, Wills," Xander said from where he was 'resting' in a deck chair.

"Excuse me for not wanting to rob competitors of your uncle!"

"But they would've deserved it!" Xander protested. "If they're competing with Uncle Rory, they are shady as well!"

"And I don't want to live in a trailer that was used by a drug smuggler!" Willow retorted.

"Yes!" Dawn agreed, looking up from her laptop. "I want a new camper, not some used smelly one where the bathroom was used to cook meth and the fridge held body parts!"

That sounded rather selfish, in Jim's opinion. On the other hand, he would prefer a new, clean trailer himself. Mom deserved it for having her life uprooted.

"That's why I found a big dealer, part of a big chain. Stealing from them won't hurt anyone but the insurance company, and they can afford it," Willow said, nodding emphatically. "And it's pretty close."

"How close is 'pretty close'?" Jim asked.

"About an hour by car."

That was quite the distance. Jim looked at Claire.

"I need to travel there, first," she said. "I've never been there, and I don't know anyone there."

"That means we need a car as well," Willow said. "And here in Arcadia Oaks."

"We can use…" Jim trailed off. He didn't want to use his mom's car; if anyone saw it and the police tracked it, she would be a suspect. More of a suspect.

"What's a boosted car between friends?" the Slayer asked.

Jim looked over his shoulder. Mom and the other adults were a bit away, talking to each other. If they had heard the Slayer…

"In the movies, people always boost cars when they need to," Xander said. "Would Hollywood lie to us?"

"Yes, it would," Willow replied. "But we do need trailers."

"One each?" Spike asked. "I have some preferences when it comes to caravans."

"Why do you need a camper?" the Slayer asked.

"A tent is not sturdy enough to keep the sun away," he replied.

"There's no sun here."

"A portal could be used to let the sunshine in," Spike said. "I need something better than a tent; it's a vampire thing."

"Grand Theft Trailer!" Tobes piped up with a grin.

Jim sighed. They really needed to focus on getting better weapons to fight Glory. But they also needed to finish setting up the camp. "Let's make a list," he said.

"I've got a list of the dealer's stock!" Willow turned her laptop's screen around. "Look! It got pictures as well."

"That's like shopping without paying," the Slayer said. "I want the pink one."

"That's not big enough for us all," Dawn protested.

"For me, I mean. I'm in college; I need my own room."

"You're living at home."

"That's why I need my own room!"

"One per family should be a fine limit, I believe," Mr Giles cut in.

"Do I count as a single family?" Xander asked. "I wouldn't mind rooming with anyone - except vampires, of course."

"Oi!"

"Shut it, Spike."

"Oi!"

"You can room with me," Mr Giles said. "That would make… seven caravans - if we decide to grant Spike his wish."

Three for their families, one for the Slayer's family, one for Willow and Tara, one for Mr Giles and Xander, and one for the vampire, Jim mentally counted.

They should have room for that.

"And we'll be framing a gang," Willow said. "At least if anyone checks the website access data after the theft."

Jim wasn't quite sure whether that was a good thing or not. But he would like a camper instead of a tent. If only for a decent kitchen.


Outside Riverrun, California, January 15th, 2017

"So, is this like a rival town of your home town?" Buffy Summers asked as she looked at the small town in the valley below them. It might be dark for others, but she could see clear as day.

"What?" Claire stared at her.

"You know, the guys you have to beat in sports?" Buffy explained. "Winning against them is more important than winning the state championship?"

"That's a thing? I thought that was just Hollywood," Jim commented.

"No, we don't have a rivalry with our neighbours," Claire said.

"Alright." Buffy nodded. "Anyway, remember the plan: We go in, grab the campers we need according to Willow's list and shove them through the portal to the Shady Dimension."

"It's the Shadow Realm," Claire told her. "And yes, we know the plan."

"It's not really complicated," Jim added.

"You'd be surprised how often a really easy plan can go wrong," Buffy told them. Demons rarely cooperated.

The two kids exchanged a glance. "No, we actually wouldn't be surprised," Jim said, blushing a little.

"Oh, so you've had embarrassing moments as well!" Buffy grinned. "Share!"

"I don't think this is the place or time for that," Claire said, pretty primly.

"I concur," Giles chimed in. "Let's just ensure that there are no witnesses or cameras and then procure what we need."

"Oh!" Buffy cooed. "You make robbery sound so innocent!"

He cleared his throat. "Technically, it isn't robbery since we aren't using violence or the threat of violence to force the victims to comply with having their valuables removed."

"Robbery sounds cooler than theft," Buffy objected.

"But this is a classic burglary," Jim said. "We sneak inside, grab what we need, and leave with no one the wiser."

Buffy huffed. "Anyway, let's do it. I didn't see any guards, and I can deal with the cameras in my sleep." She stood and started to walk back to their car. Well, theirs in the sense that they had stolen it. A dinky limousine with a bad suspension, but it had taken them from Arcadia Oaks to Riversun without trouble. "Let's ditch the car and let's go!"

They didn't push the car down a ravine and set him on fire. That would be bad for the environment. Instead, they pushed it through a portal into the shadow stuff. Apparently, trolls could use the metal and eat the rest.

But they were finally moving down the hill, towards the dealership Willow had chosen. Dozens of campers were lined up neatly on a giant parking lot. And mobile homes, too.

Buffy jumped over the fence in the blind spot of the closest camera and ripped it off. "All clear!" she told the others before dashing towards the next camera.

By the time Giles and the Trollhunters had managed to get over the fence as well, she had destroyed all the cameras in the parking lot. And picked her first camper. "This one's for me! And Mom. And Dawn, if she's not being a brat."

Giles sighed and shook his head, which made her giggle.

"OK," Claire said. "I'm opening a portal to home."

"You think of the shadows as home?" Buffy asked with a grin.

Claire glared at her as she moved her staff, and a big portal opened.

"AAARRRGGHH!, we need you!" Jim yelled.

A few seconds later, the huge troll appeared in the portal. "Pull?"

"Yes, please," Jim told him.

With the big troll pulling and Buffy pushing, it didn't take more than half a minute to move the trailer through the portal. Once they remembered to release the brakes, at least. Finding the models the others wanted took longer, even with Willow's map, than actually opening a portal and moving them. They were on number seven, the cute antique - it dated back to the seventies or so - Spike wanted, when Buffy heard a car approach.

"Uh," she told the others. "I guess they finally noticed that all the cameras are out. Time to leave!"

"The police?" Jim asked. He pulled on the mask hiding his face.

Buffy shrugged. "Don't know, don't care. We'll be off before they open the gate." Which, she thought, they should've disabled to stall for more time.

"Pull?"

"Yes, AAARRRGGHH!, pull!"

Buffy leaned against the back of the trailer and pushed. The silvery camper started moving, going into the portal.

But behind them, she could see the cones of flashlights moving - the police or whoever they were were moving faster than expected. They were already inside. "Hurry!" she hissed.

"We are!" Jim pushed as well, which sped things up.

"Come on!" Claire snapped.

"We have to be careful!" Buffy reminded them. "I could crush this far too easily." And Spike would never let her forget it.

She could hear steps approaching. And people talking about the gates being locked.

"Move, move!" Jim muttered next to her as they pushed through the portal.

"I am," she told him. "And done!" she added as they were through, and the portal closed a moment before the cone of the flashlight would've hit them.

Operation Grand Theft Caravan - Xander named it, claiming it sounded cooler than camper, and the name stuck - was a success!