August 31st 2022
Chapter 243
Our Exploration of Play
Dear Maya,
The other day, Milena pointed out how, when she and some of the others from our graduating class would get together, they'd started talking about getting to plan our ten-year high school reunion before long. I laughed at first, but then she looked at me and I started to realize how close we were getting to it. It's still a little over two years away from now, but then it hit me how that meant that it's been nearly eight years since we finished high school. It feels weird to think about it sometimes, especially seeing as we've already been out of college as long as we were in it, too, more or less. But then thinking about all that made me think of that last year back there, when you showed up as our art teacher, and then everything else that happened before we graduated. So, I decided to write to you.
I still think about what you did for me and Milena, about what could have happened and what did happen. I think about what could have happened if you hadn't been there. Maybe we would still have been okay, but maybe we wouldn't have been. I'm thinking about what it would have meant for us and school and our jobs, but I'm also just thinking about the two of us. Would we have ended up together? Would we still have gotten married? I think about what it might have been like if we didn't, and I'm really glad that it didn't turn out any other way. Milena, she's everything to me, and I could list all the reasons why right here, but I'd rather tell them all to her and see her smile. Right now, anything to give her a reason to smile is good enough for me.
They won't have mentioned it to you, my parents or Riley, maybe because they think we don't want them to, but we've been trying to have a baby and it's not going well. We've been trying for almost a year already but so far nothing. The first few months, we would both tell ourselves that it was normal, that it could take a little time to work, but the more time went on with no baby, it wasn't really patience anymore. What made it worse was sometimes Milena would be so sure that it had worked, and she was pregnant, so she would get tests and take them, but they'd all be negative. Every time it gets to that point, it just makes her feel worse and worse, like this time it'll work, it has to, and then it doesn't, and she goes all quiet for a couple of days. I never know what to do, so I try to leave her be, but I just feel helpless. We're supposed to go and get tested soon to see if there's a problem with either one of us that makes it that we haven't been able to get pregnant. Milena's scared about what they'll say, I can see it. I kind of am, too.
It felt good to actually write all that down, to say it, on paper at least. Maybe I wouldn't need to send this to you anymore, but I still will. Please, don't feel obligated to respond. I'm sure you will, though, because it's you and that's what you'd do. It still blows my mind sometimes to think that there we were, in that class. I'd known you all my life and I would never have guessed you would end up being my teacher someday, even if only for one year. I remember how I didn't even want people to know we knew each other outside of school at first, and I know why I wanted it that way at the time, but now it kind of feels silly when I think about it. I haven't lost hope about becoming a dad, how ever it happens. And I hope that one day that kid gets to sit in your classroom and be your student. You'll still be there, right?
See you around,
August Matthews
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Dear August,
I understand very well the whiplash of time going by, believe me. I'm having trouble believing that next year will be my tenth one as a teacher. As to whether I'll still be there in fifteen plus years, well, I can only hope so, if for no other reason than to see how all my girls deal with having their mother as their teacher, and then the same for your future child, too. I may have only been your teacher for a year, yes, but it was no less memorable. You, Milena, Tony, all your classmates, you were right there, day one, class one, the first ones I saw graduate, and I could never forget you.
I am sorry to hear that you and Milena are having these troubles. I know firsthand how the wait can weigh on your when you're actually trying to make it happen. My last two were complete surprises, but before them, with the triplets, the wait by the end of it was becoming just that, a weight. It never got to the point for us where we had to delve deeper, and I hope for your sake that it'll be good news when you do. You might want to talk to Nadine about all this. She might be able to answer some questions for you and help you both just take a breath as you figure out how you'll go forward. The two of you will make wonderful parents when the time comes, I am sure of it. Maybe it won't happen exactly how you imagined it, but it will happen, maybe when you least expect it. Please, let me know how everything is turning out and let Milena know that she can always reach out, too, if she ever needs to talk.
Big hugs to you both,
Maya
X
Contrary to popular belief, the Friars did not arrive at the gym for double game day – or any game day – as early as they did solely because they had several small children to bring along for the ride. They came early because, in equal measures due to Maya's being a teacher there – and a former team player and captain – and Coach Orlando being one of their oldest and dearest friends, no one would bat an eye if they made use of the big court for themselves until everyone started to show up for the actual first game. Marianne would try her hand at sending the ball through the hoop, as many times as she could, obviously. And Kacey and Remy would take their turns being lifted up on to their father's shoulders so they could try and do the same with less of a… height obstacle. Lucy would watch them, but her favorite part would be to run and bring the ball back when it would bounce away.
Maya sat on the lowest level of the stands, holding Mackenzie's hands while she stood there, wobbly but fully on her own two feet as she watched her father and her sisters. Oh, she'd want to go and join them so bad, and she would try and advance toward them, but she wasn't there yet, and she'd sooner land back on her butt or her knees, after which she'd turn to her mother, surprised at the result. Maya would hold her hands out to her and help her back on her feet so she could continue watching. When she got tired of this, she would make a noise quickly interpreted as 'take me up, Mommy,' and so Maya would bring her to her knees, and Mackenzie would lean to her, patting delicately at the belly where her baby sister grew.
"Did you see, Mommy, did you see?" Marianne came running over, bubbling with giddiness at her success, not the first time she'd gotten the ball through the hoop but easily the most spectacular one yet.
"Oh, I saw alright, you were like Super Pumpkin out there," Maya laughed, holding out her hand for a high five, which Marianne enthusiastically returned. Mackenzie saw this and held out her hand to her big sister, too, so Marianne gave her a high five as well, not so hard with the baby girl. "We need to take our seats, alright? Go get your sisters and your dad, please?" And she was off.
It had been impossible, all year long, not to think about how Jenny wasn't out there playing anymore, not for the boys' team, obviously, but neither for the girls' team either, because she rightly so did not want to face the backlash she would face, the same going for other potential players who had stayed out entirely for similar reasons, like Ash Bell. Of course, now they had their own team, what they'd come to call the LGBTeam for the time being, and it had actually been going very well for all of them. They had players from this school and a few other schools, including those of their competitors for this day's games. And as much as it was all working out for them, it was clear that no one had forgotten that a lot of them could have been playing with these teams if not for how others would stand in their way.
The teams had not forgotten either. And while it wasn't across the board everywhere that they would be supportive of these lost players, it was a noted majority, enough so that, in the last few weeks, they'd been making an open showing of it.
Ash Bell had drawn their team's logo, and there had truly been nothing left to guessing about where they stood. The design was a large basketball, its lines helping to trace out the segments in all their colors. White, and pink, and light blue, brown and black, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. They were still working on jerseys, but for now at least they had their logo, made into a pinned badge. They'd made many more than the team would need, and it was a good thing, because others had asked for one, too.
Today, at both the boys' and girls' games, just as they'd done for the last few weeks, the players would come running out on to the court, most of them on both sides, with the LGBTeam's pin on their jerseys in full view and in full support. The first time, it had definitely caused parts of the audience to make some noise, and it had been a mix of happy voices and irate ones, enough so that the game had been late to start. By the second time, there were people threatening to boycott the games if the players didn't remove the pins, but their threats went nowhere. The players were free to do as they pleased. By now, there were some noted absences in the stands, but not so much as to matter, especially as, where they were concerned, they were better off without those people. The rest of them, in the meantime, got to enjoy a couple of really great games.
"I don't know what I'm going to do next year," MJ reflected as he sat behind his sister, holding one of his nieces in his lap.
"What do you mean?" Maya asked when she looked back at him, careful with Mackenzie in her arms.
"I don't know if I'll go out for the boys' team or see if I can join them," he tapped his chest, where he wore one of the pins, too. It had been a gift from Nellie and Gracie, when the two of them had gotten their own pins, and he wore it even outside their games. "I kind of want to do both," he admitted.
"Nothing stopping you from asking them if you could do that," Maya told him. "Although if you're also going to want to do the musicals, you might want to consider your options," she added, and he smiled. Oh, was he ever going to rock their stage for the four years ahead of them…
"I'll figure something out," he promised, and Maya tapped his knee. If anyone was going to know how to navigate all this, it would be her baby brother.
TO BE CONTINUED
See you tomorrow! - mooners
