September 6th 2022

Chapter 249
Our Realizations of Fear

The day after Bobby Davis' accident was still a school day. Maya hadn't been out there, naturally, but she'd been as intrigued as she'd been concerned for how the news would reach her students. Two of their classmates, schoolmates, teammates… They had been involved in a frightening accident, and one of them was seriously injured and lying in the hospital, at the time still very much fighting for his life. Had they only been out sick for a day or two, it might have meant very little to see their empty seats. But Maya had heard from her colleagues, and from Gracie, how the knowledge of what had actually happened to Bobby and Nellie had left those empty seats feeling sort of dreadful. It would be like they couldn't keep from seeing them and thinking of the people who should have been sitting there… and what had happened to them.

At least, by now, they had one of them back, even if they were not to see the other again, at the very least, until the start of junior year. As she'd promised her sister, Nellie had stayed home through the weekend, and she'd gone back to school the following Monday. She'd gone straight from there to the hospital every afternoon since, but at least she was at school, and she was regaining on the sleep she desperately needed. When she'd spoken to Jeannette Davis, as she checked in with her each day while the girls were napping, the woman had spoken of how her son now got through his days looking forward to the time when he'd have 'his visitor.' She may not have been the only one, but she was without a doubt the most anticipated one of all. He would light up when she arrived and sat there by his bed, animatedly giving him the update on what was going on at school.

It had now been nearly two weeks since the accident. As far as everyone could see, Bobby was now fully on the mend. It was really just a matter of him actually… mending. It was hoped that he would get to go home soon, but so far that remained an eventuality and not something they could easily estimate.

And Maya had not yet seen him, not since that day.

She kept telling herself that she needed to look after her girls, the four at home with her and the one in her belly, inching her way toward her due date, that she needed to be careful with herself. But if she were honest with herself, she would know that she was just… scared. As silly as it sounded, even to her, especially to her, she thought of seeing him, of seeing the aftermath of his encounter both with the bus and with the street, and it seized her from within until she could hardly move. His parents had been with him all this time, his brother, his friends… her siblings, her parents… and she couldn't make herself go. She'd sent flowers, a handmade card, and it was proper, wasn't it? She was his teacher. Who was she kidding though, right? Bobby Davis was as good as family, and that had (almost) nothing to do with his connection to Nellie. She should have been to see him by now, and she hadn't.

She tried to think about why that would be. It was hardly enough to call it a matter of not liking hospitals, was it? Hospitals were what they were depending on why they went there. Going to visit a friend who'd just had a baby and going to see a family member who was sick, injured, dying, were completely different experiences. Just over a month from now, she would be happy to go there because it would mean that they would get to meet Aubrey Juliet Friar. But just now… She was realizing that, whenever she thought about Bobby, her mind went to several places, like rather than going from point A to point B, it split off to make a few detours before finally heading for its destination, now loaded with baggage.

It took her to Gracie, when she'd had her accident, as it would, but it also took her to Sophie. It took her to that frightening night when, while undercover, things had gone horribly wrong. She'd been in such a state afterward that there had been genuine fear that she wouldn't pull through. And then her mind also took her, as it would, to Lambert Day. To have something so bad happen to anyone was horrible, of course it was, but with them… as young as they were… She could pin this as much on her being a mother as her being a teacher, seeing those kids every day. Ever since Lambert, she'd been infinitely aware of how suddenly it could all just…

She had to pull herself together. She had to go. She had to visit Bobby, and she would. She would. Today. She would leave the girls with their grandmother, not feeling as though it would help matters to bring them all in there with her, and she would make her way to the hospital to see her student.

When she walked down the hallway and found his door, she stopped, quietly looked inside. His room was getting to feel very lived in, showing signs as much of the things he had received from concerned friends, family, and other acquaintances, and of items that had been brought in from home for comfort and entertainment, as of things that had more to do with those who'd been keeping him company. Bobby was asleep, and his mother, sitting in a chair by his bedside, was reading a book, though even from a distance Maya got the impression that the woman's mind had wandered away from the text. Maya quietly approached her, came into her line of sight rather than startling her with a touch. When she looked up and saw neither doctor nor nurse but a friend, her mood lifted, and she set her book down before getting up to embrace her son's teacher.

"I'm sorry I haven't been over before…" Maya whispered, but Jeannette shook her head; she had nothing to be sorry for. "I can stay with him if you'd like to step out a while, get some fresh air," she offered, giving eyes to point out that the break would do her wonders. The woman let out a breath, pinched at her nose. Yes, she saw her point. So, with thanks and a promise that she wouldn't be too long, she left the room, and it was just Maya and Bobby.

She still remembered what he'd looked like, lying in the street… He'd had two weeks since then, two weeks to start his healing, and it had been happening, so that he looked markedly better now than he'd done back then, but still… It could not have been easy going, spending his days in bed, sleeping this way…

"How long have you been awake, Bobby?" Maya asked as she took over the post in Mrs. Davis' chair. After a moment, he opened his eyes. "Hey…"

"Morning, Mrs. Friar," he blinked, then, "Is it morning?"

"Coming on noon," she informed him, and he sighed.

"Do you ever have that thing where you try and go to sleep, and you don't think you're falling asleep, but then time's gone by, so you realize you must have fallen asleep here and there but never noticed?" he asked.

"More times than I can count in the last… six and a half years," she slowly nodded.

"Figured if I kept my eyes closed, it would work eventually, but it didn't, or I thought it didn't… So, I just kept my eyes closed so my mother wouldn't worry over me for not sleeping."

"I won't tell her," Maya promised. Bobby breathed, stared at the ceiling. "I'm sorry I haven't been to see you before," she told him, and his eyes turned to her again.

"It's okay, ma'am. I wouldn't be here either if I didn't have to be," he assured her, and let out something between a breath and laugh.

"Well, I'm here now, and it's really good to see you and talk to you."

"Did they talk to you about what's going to happen with me? With school? I don't want to have to repeat this year and get left behind."

"I can't speak for your other teachers, but where I'm concerned, you don't have to worry, alright?" He gave as good of a nod as he could give. "As for the others, I'm assuming your parents will have been in touch with them. For what I know of your grades and your work up to now, I don't see why you couldn't do work enough to pass into the eleventh grade for the coming fall. You don't need to worry yourself over any of that right now, do you hear?"

"Yes, Mrs. Friar."

"Do you want to try and sleep some more?" she asked. He didn't. It would be time for lunch soon anyway. She pointed to the television, and he agreed, so she turned it on, set it to the channel he wanted, and for a few minutes they just watched in silence.

"Can I tell you something?" Bobby spoke, and as he'd been so quiet for a while, Maya had assumed that maybe, blessedly, he had fallen asleep. Now she heard him and slowly got up from her chair, approached his bedside.

"Always," she told him. He hesitated. "Is this something you don't want your mom to know about?" she guessed.

"Not just her," Bobby specified. "They all worry enough as it is."

"What is it?" Maya asked him kindly.

"I can't sleep. I mean, I've got trouble because of everything else, they know about that," he turned his eyes down to himself. "But that's not what keeps me awake, not all the time. It's just that… when I close my eyes… I see it all happen again. I see Nellie, and the… split second where I saw the bus coming, and I knew that it was going to hit her, and then I see myself, pushing her out of the way, and for just a moment thinking… She's safe… Thank goodness, she's safe… and then…"

Maya felt a chill go through her. Was that part of it, maybe? Why she hadn't been able to come? Because in her mind she'd been so glad that it hadn't been her little sister, that she was bruised but otherwise completely alright? But in exchange for that… Here was this boy, who'd put his life on the line for hers…

"You should tell them, Bobby," she nodded confidently. He didn't look sure about that. "They're already plenty worried for you. And I don't see them being surprised that you'd have trouble with this. And keeping it all boxed into yourself… I can't see how it's doing you any good. But if you were to unburden yourself…" He wasn't sure, but he did see her point. "If you're not ready to tell them, then maybe for now, when you try and sleep, remind yourself… I'm not alone. I'm here. I'm safe… and so is she," she gave him a small smile that was half sympathy and half conspiracy.

"I can try," Bobby simply replied.

"I did that, a long time ago, after Lucas and I had our accident," Maya confided.

"Nellie told me about that," Bobby confirmed his awareness. Those old nightmares had chased her longer than she'd care to admit. Sometimes, she still had flashes of them, in the most unexpected moments.

Maya stayed with him until his mother returned and beyond. They talked of this and that, of school, and hospital life, and the Friar girls… She was still there when Nellie arrived for her daily visit, and she had the pleasure of catching her little sister by surprise, seeing the look of anticipation hidden in her eyes as much as the look of relief in Bobby, that she'd come. She let them be after this, and even Jeannette Davis came along, offering to drive her home rather than take a taxi. The former rivals would have their time to catch up and swap stories of their day.

TO BE CONTINUED


See you tomorrow! - mooners