Chapter 30: The Preparations

Saddleback Butte State Park, Mojave Desert, California, January 24th, 2017

"So… this is where we make our stand," Xander said, spreading his arms as he stood between a few large rocks. "Like in Conan."

"In Conan, two men were facing an army. Here, it's more the other way around," Willow said. "I mean, we have the literal army on our side."

That remained to be seen, in Buffy Summers's opinion. Riley was with them, but he had yet to offer anything constructive. She glanced at her ex-boyfriend as he looked around.

"Good lines of fire, decent cover." He looked up. "But any airstrike would waste the entire site."

"We're not facing the air force," Buffy told him. "We're facing a skanky hell-goddess who can't fly."

"She can just run as fast as the Flash," Xander pointed out, "is as strong as a locomotive and can't be hurt by mundane weapons."

"That means that airstrikes or artillery won't do anything to her," Buffy told Riley with a toothy smile. The army tended to think that as long as you used enough bombs, it would solve any problem.

He frowned in return but didn't say anything. Spoilsport. And that after they had given them the Gagglethingies!

"We're going to install sensors here," Willow said, "so we'll get advance warnings before she arrives. I would ask for a satellite coverage or a drone, but…" She winced. "They wouldn't be able to pick her out from the ground clutter."

"If our drones and satellites can't pick up the target, how are you planning to do it?" Riley asked.

"My sensor network, although it's more like placing radar sensors at key spots based upon the obvious approaches, is based on radar guns from the police," Willow told him. "Tweaked and improved, so they aren't limited like the ones highway patrol troopers use."

Buffy wasn't sure that she wanted to know what exactly Willow had done to the radar thingies.

"And how are you going to get so many radar guns?" Riley asked.

Willow blushed a little - that wasn't the effect of the desert heat at noon. "Well… the police had a lot in storage, and I kind of… slipped transfer orders for upgrades into the system? We can pick them up from the warehouse they'll get delivered to in a day."

"Did you just steal all of the cops' radar guns?" Riley stared at Willow. Had he already forgotten how smart she was? And what she could do with computers?

"I didn't steal them!" Willow protested. "I just kinda borrowed them. And we need them, and if Glory wins, catching speeders won't be high on any police officer's priority list."

"Never underestimate a cop's desire to give you a ticket!" Xander cut in. "I'm sure that even during a zombie apocalypse, some of them would chase the cars fleeing the mob."

"Well, they would probably be shocked and just doing what they were doing, without realising it, unable to cope with the sudden change in reality…" Willow trailed off. "If that was a real scenario and not just a joke," she added with a frown at Xander.

"Exactly!" Xander grinned.

"Back on topic," Buffy said. "The rocks here look large enough to stop Glory from simply smashing through them. Or throwing them around."

"That's probably because she wouldn't have the leverage even if she had the strength," Willow said. "Although I need to run the calculations, and…"

Buffy raised her eyebrows at Willow, and her friend fell silent. She cleared her throat. "But we need more than that for a successful ambush. How are we going to deploy the paint to blind her?"

"Shaped paint charges!" Xander said. "Just push a button and BAM! Glory's coated with paint."

"Extra-sticky paint that won't easily burn," Willow clarified.

"Push a button? Can't you use tripwires?" Riley asked.

"If she's running, then she's too fast for that," Willow explained. "The bomb would go off too late to catch her in the blast. I thought about layering the tripwires, so they would cover all approaches at all speeds, but… any animal could set up one of them, and it's a desert, not a sealed environment. Plus, if a bush is blown across the wire by the wind…"

"But if you need to push the button, you'll be even slower," Riley objected.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "We'll push the button once she's standing still. And she will."

"Why would she stand still? That makes no tactical sense," Riley said.

"Have you forgotten everything about the big bad evil guys we taught you?" Buffy frowned at him. "She'll stop to gloat when she thinks she's got us."

"But that would mean…" Riley trailed off with a grimace.

"Yes. We'll have her think she's got the upper hand," Buffy said. And that would involve both Dawn and herself playing bait. "She likes to talk and grandstand. She'll stand still." But she might grab one of them until then. Or kill them.

Riley stared for a moment, then clenched his teeth. "That's a dangerous plan."

Thank you, Captain Obvious, Buffy thought. "Glory is dangerous."

"Very dangerous," Willow added. "And the longer we wait, the worse it'll get."

Buffy nodded. A few more days and they would be ready.

"And what if you can't hurt her with your weapons?" Riley asked. "You haven't tested them yet."

And they wouldn't - it would ruin the surprise. "If they don't work, then we retreat through the portal," Buffy said.

Those who were still alive, at least.


Shadow Realm, January 24th, 2017

"You want to try wielding the trollhammer?" The Slayer narrowed her eyes.

James Lake Jr stood his ground, though, and nodded. "Yes. Well, not me, but Tobes."

"Y-yes!" Toby nodded several times. "Just to check if I can wield it. If I could, I could hit Glory with it."

The Slayer's frown deepened. "Didn't you try grabbing it and couldn't?"

"Ah… right," Toby said.

"Yes," Jim confirmed. "But that was when we just wanted to recover the Hammer of the Troll Gods. Now we're trying to save the world - and the trolls."

The Slayer didn't look as if she thought this would work out. To be fair, Jim wasn't sure it would, either. "Even if that works, I already tried hurting her with it, and I couldn't," she said.

"Yes, but…" Toby trailed off, then cleared his throat and straightened. "You could hurt her, just not enough. If I can wield it, I can at least, uh, distract her in the fight. I mean, more effectively distract her. She can't completely ignore me that way."

"That could be decisive," Jim added. Which was true - a blow at the right time could create an opening, even if it only scratched the hell-goddess.

"Don't you have a flaming war hammer?" the Slayer asked.

"Yes, but it's not a divine weapon," Toby replied. "It won't do anything to her, not if Daylight barely scratched her."

The Slayer sniffed. "It could set her cheap dress on fire. That would distract her."

"Yes, but that won't really last," Jim cut in. "And if Tobes sets her dress on fire, she might focus on him until…" He trailed off with a wince.

"Ah, yeah." Toby swallowed as he nodded. "I wouldn't be much use if I distract her once, and then, ah…"

"...you get turned into a thin paste on the ground. Or a red paste inside your armour." The Slayer shook her head.

"Exactly." Toby looked a little pale but still pressed on. "So, with the Hammer of the Troll Gods, I could hit her, make her stumble and stuff, but she wouldn't want to kill me too badly. And then you can attack her - we can trade hate."

"Trade hate?" The Slayer looked lost.

"Like in a boss fight in a game," Jim explained. "The mob tends to go after the most hated character, so if you time your attacks right, you make it spin around as it keeps switching targets."

"It's not a game!" the Slayer snapped. "We're facing a skanky hell-goddess who has already massacred dozens of knights!"

"I know it's not a game!" Jim snapped back. "It's just an example."

"Glory's not a game character."

"No, she isn't. But the principle is the same," Toby said. "I can do something without making her too mad. A good distraction." Jim saw his friend wet his lips rather nervously, but Toby still stood his ground.

The Slayer scoffed again. "I guess you're going to fight either way, trollhammer or no trollhammer."

"Yes."

"I want it back after the battle, though," she said. "That doesn't mean I'm going to hand it over to you. I still won it fair and square."

Jim rolled his eyes. "We're going to fight a hell-goddess to save the world, and you're worried about losing a hammer?"

"It's the principle of the thing." She snorted. "Anyway, let's get the thing, see if you can even lift it." She turned and heard into her camper.

Jim nodded and tried not to show how nervous he was. If Toby couldn't wield the hammer, he'd… well, he'd be feeling down. Jim knew the feeling. And the way Toby had complained about not being able to help, he'd grab his flaming war hammer and fight Glory, even though that might set her off. Maybe they should reconsider this. But how to stall without being obvious?

"Alright." The Slayer appeared with the Hammer of the Troll Gods slung over her shoulder. "Here!" She dropped it on the ground, shaft up.

"Righto." Toby licked his lips again and took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing!" He grabbed the shaft, took another deep breath and lifted.

Jim held his breath. For a moment, nothing happened other than Toby grimacing and puffing his cheeks out. Oh, no…

But then, the hammer rose, and Toby smiled, almost as if he couldn't believe it. He raised it in the air. "Yes!"

Then he wobbled and staggered around before he managed to sling it over his shoulder. "Yes!" he repeated himself as he beamed at them.

Jim forced himself to smile. "Great, Toby!" It was - but it also meant that Toby would be in the thick of it. Then again, his friend would've been there anyway.

The Slayer looked surprised. "Well, let's hope that grumpy guy manages to make some good armour. You're gonna need it."

Jim couldn't help hoping the same. Merlin had been at it all day and wasn't finished - well, he was finished smithing, or whatever you called creating the armour pieces - but he'd been busy doing magic since noon. Enchanting, Willow called it.

"Oh, yes." Toby nodded again. "I don't wanna end up Toby-paste."

She winced in return. Feeling guilty about her remark? It was true, though - Glory was so strong, she could literally pound a human into paste. At least in theory. She probably wouldn't bother with that in the middle of a fight against people who could actually hurt her.

"So, let's plan tactics now that we've got three people ready to fight her!" Toby said.

"Right." The Slayer didn't sound very happy about that.

But there was nothing she - or Jim - could do about it. They had to defeat Glory to save the world. And they needed every help they could get.

And Toby could wield the hammer. Whether that was because the troll gods had deemed him worthy, or the Slayer had agreed to let him wield it, Jim didn't know. But it meant something.


There they went, with the trollhammer. Her hammer. Won fair and square. Buffy Summers pressed her lips together as she watched the two kids walk to Claire's camper. She probably shouldn't have agreed to let Toby try to lift the hammer. But who would have expected that a fat kid who would be picked last for your team in every P.E. lesson would be able to lift the trollhammer? Hell, all three kids together hadn't been able to pick up her hammer in the Magic Box!

So, what had changed? Had the kid become worthy or something? Chosen by the troll gods? Did the hammer know what the fight was about now and relaxed its 'worthiness' requirements?

Buffy really hoped Toby had gained some insight or character growth through getting almost killed by Dawn because the other options were… not good. Double bad ungood, actually. If either the troll gods or the trollhammer - if that wasn't one and the same - were changing the rules, then that meant her and her friends' chances of beating Glory were worse than Buffy thought. And she was already pretty pessimistic.

She closed her eyes for a moment before entering her camper. And now Toby would be fighting on the frontlines with them. Another kid. It was bad enough that Jim was with her, and he was wearing super magic armour, not whatever bargain bin magic armour the old grump was cobbling together right now with what was left of his magic.

She couldn't protect both of them. And, even worse, she couldn't afford to. They had to beat Glory to save the world. And to save her sister. And if Toby helping them as a distraction would help with that, she'd go with it.

No matter how guilty it made her feel that the kid would probably die. And die rather gruesomely, likely getting his head torn off in his helmet or his insides pulped through the armour.

Damn. She sighed.

"What's wrong, Buffy?"

Rats. Mom was there, looking concerned.

"Just feeling a little blue," Buffy lied. "We were 'doing recon' of the battlefield, and Riley was there."

"Oh." Mom nodded in apparent understanding. "Well, that's normal - your breakup was very recent."

"Yes. And he's all snippy about it. As if it's my fault that he couldn't stand that he's not as strong as the Slayer."

Mom leaned against the kitchen counter, well, against the sink - the camper didn't have a proper counter. "Well, he's a soldier. He's trained to protect others, not be protected."

"Fragile male ego, check." Buffy shook her head and grabbed a soda from the fridge. "So, should I blame the toxic macho culture in the army? Or in Hicksville, Iowa? Instead of, say, Riley himself?" It was the twenty-first century! They even let girls fight in the army now; Riley had no excuse!

"To be fair, Buffy, he also had to deal with withdrawal from the drugs they were feeding him. And he had abandoned his career, or so he thought, to stay and help you."

She took a swallow from the bottle - she wasn't going to get a glass if they were talking Riley - and frowned at Mom. "And so he compensated by letting some vampire skank suck his blood. Perfectly understandable."

"He what?" Mom looked surprised.

Oops. Buffy hadn't told her about that, had she? Or had she told Mom, and Mom had forgotten because of the tumour? Either way, she would have to explain. Wincing, she took another swallow. "There was this 'suck house' - a house where people went to let vampires suck their blood. Like a brothel, just, ah, for blood stuff."

Mom looked as disgusted as Buffy felt just remembering.

"And he didn't go just once. He was a regular." Buffy clenched her teeth and blinked twice. "He had me, and he went and… let some undead monster suck his blood. Because he couldn't handle that I was stronger than him. That I was protecting him." She blinked again. She wasn't going to cry over the asshole. "He went to a vampire while we were together!"

Mom took a step forward and hugged her. "Oh, Sweetie!"

"Why did he do it? Why didn't he talk to me? Say something? And why did he go to a damn vampire?" She sniffled, then shook her head. She couldn't cry now. She had to hold it together. They were planning to fight Glory, and they needed the Slayer. Not some weak little girl who cried over a jerk boyfriend. There were thousands of crying girls, but only one Slayer. Well, technically two, but the evil one didn't count.

Mom rubbed her back. "It's OK, Sweetie. I understand. We understand," she added. "And we don't think less of you."

'We'? Oh, Dawn was watching. Buffy glared at her.

"And we won't make fun of you," Mom went on.

Dawn flinched a little, then pouted.

"You should have told me, Sweetie," Mom whispered. "I can't help you with your slaying, but you're not the only woman hurt by a stupid man."

Right. Dad, who had left her for his secretary. Of course Mom would know all about dealing with a cheating ex. Buffy sniffled and wiped her eyes. "Sorry, Mom."

"It's alright," Mom repeated herself. "In this situation…" She trailed off.

But Buffy knew. The stress. The pressure. The danger. Dawn. Mom's tumour.

Lots of excuses. And none of them was working for her. She should have told Mom.


"Here are your suits of armour." Merlin sounded as grumpy as he usually did - maybe a little grumpier - but James Lake Jr thought he could hear some pride in the wizard's tone. Or that was just his imagination.

"Awesomesauce!" Toby beamed at the two suits - which, honestly, looked more like piles of armour plate than suits.

Claire was a bit more reserved as she eyed the two piles.

"It shall not hurt you… unless you turn against us," Merlin told her.

"I won't," she replied with a glare.

"I certainly hope so."

Jim cleared his throat. "So… try them on?"

"Yes!" Toby rolled his shoulder. "I'm as good as new." Then he winced. "Almost. So… is there a magic command to make it suit up?"

Merlin narrowed his eyes. "And perhaps a magic command to fight the battle for you? With a command to feed you grapes and honey as well?"

Toby cringed a little, then straightened up. "But Jimbo's armour does that."

"The Armour of the Trollhunter has been enchanted to fit every chosen troll or man. Combining the spell that measures its wearer with a spell that fitted the armour lent itself well to actually fitting it," Merlin said with a scoff. "But do not mistake those two suits for one of my masterworks. They will protect you well enough so a glare from Glorificus shall not kill you on the spot, but do not expect them to be the equal of Daylight or Eclipse."

So, Jim still had the best armour. He clenched his teeth at his thoughts - that was petty and selfish. And stupid.

"And you made Jim's armour when you weren't drained of your power," Claire said.

That earned her a nasty glare from the old wizard. "Correct. If I had my full power at my disposal, I would have crafted those suits in less time it takes you to put them on unaided. I certainly would not have spent a day and night crafting the suit and weaving the enchantments into it. However, it would behove you not to underestimate me - I am still ready to oppose Morgana, should she show her head."

If that was a bluff, it was a good one, in Jim's opinion. For a moment, Merlin's eyes seemed to glow, even. Or that was a trick of the light. Jim cleared his throat. "So… Who needs help putting the armour on?"

"Both of you," Merlin said. "You are not trained knights, and even men-at-arms who have worn armour for decades and could manage to don it without help would prefer a hand or two." He looked at Jim. "And unless you have been living an entirely uncommon life for these times, you do not have any experience actually donning armour, either."

"We watched a YouTube movie about it once," Toby said. "It was pretty complicated."

Merlin sighed. "Let me demonstrate, then. Pay attention, I am a wizard; not a valet or squire. I shall not repeat myself." He stepped to the pile coloured in tan and pointed at Toby. "Move over here and spread your arms." Toby did as he was told, and Merlin mustered him. "Not quite a gambeson, but it will do. You can deal with some chafing. Skin rubbed raw builds character."

"Uh…" Toby looked apprehensive. "Skin rubbed raw?"

"Nothing a dab of ointment will not help with. Now stand still. We start with this." He turned to Jim and Claire. "And you two, come closer and watch. I expect you to do this afterwards without holding your hands."

Merlin expected Jim to do it for Claire? His eyes widened at the thought that. That would be… well… Jim felt his face flush a little as he watched Merlin put the armour on Toby piece by piece.

"It looked more complicated in the tutorial," Tobes commented.

"I have added a few minor spells to make the armour fit together more easily so that it would better cover any gaps. A trifle for a wizard like me."

Ah. Jim smiled.

Soon, Toby stood encased in tan-coloured armour, turning to look at himself as he bent and twisted. It looked pretty much like Jim's own armour. Though that would only be logical, of course.

"It's so light! I hardly feel it!" Toby cheered as he started to walk around.

"I used the same style of armour as for Daylight," Merlin confirmed Jim's thought. "The most advanced of my time. And, as a quick inquiry with the witch proved, still the most suitable design. So much skill and knowledge lost…" He shook his head.

"Well, let's do it," Claire said, walking over to her own suit. Jim swallowed and followed her. Now… Merlin started with this piece… Probably.

It took him a little longer, and too many acerbic corrections from Merlin, but Jim managed to put the armour on Claire.

And she looked hot! Jim smiled when he handed her the helmet. The armour looked sleek on her. Stylish. Dark purple. Not a match for Eclipse's colour, but… Beautiful.

"Don't stare at her like a love-sick fool. Now it's time to put the armour through its paces. You do not have much time to get used to fighting in it, so you better start now. Just because it won't weigh you down does not mean it will not hinder your movement, which could be fatal if you are not prepared for it."

Right. Jim nodded and forced himself to stop staring at Claire, who was glaring at Merlin. Training time.


"Ooof!" Her opponent stumbled back, staggering a few steps before he managed to regain his footing.

A good patrol with half a dozen demons to slay was just the thing to work out some issues after an emotional talk with your family. But Buffy Summers couldn't go on patrol in Arcadia Oaks since it was only afternoon, since there were soldiers patrolling anyway, and there probably weren't any demons around, either.

That left a nice training session where she could blow off steam. Knock Spike around a few times, wreck some training dummies, turn a few boulders into rubble with her Scythe…

Her second opponent came in from behind - she heard the sound of air being displaced behind her - and Buffy ducked to the side, letting momentum drive them past her and helped them along with a kick to the rear. More like a light tap, actually - nowhere near the kick she wanted to deal out that would destroy a target dummy or break a few bones in a vampire.

But she couldn't do that either because the Trollhunters needed to train in their new armour, and they didn't have a lot of time to get ready before they would have to face Glory. Plus, Merlin had been clear that he would be 'most cross' or what he called it if she broke the armour. Never mind the fact that if Buffy could break it - without the Scythe - then Glory wouldn't even notice it, so it would be best to find that out before the battle.

She scoffed under her breath. "I thought we're supposed to be training dodging."

"We are," Toby said, lifting her hammer. "It's just that we're still working on it. The armour's light but not that light."

"Does Merlin take complaints?" Buffy joked.

Claire chuckled - right before she vanished through a portal.

Buffy cocked her head - air displaced on the right side - and moved her arm, lashing out in a straight line.

Claire managed to twist out of the way, but Buffy's follow up tap caught her in the gut and threw her back. Claire fell and rolled a few times over the stone floor.

"Claire!" Jim exclaimed, already moving towards her.

"I'm alright!" the girl snapped with her eyes on Buffy.

Buffy grinned in return. That was the right attitude - for a Slayer. She wasn't sure if it was the right attitude for a witch. Even an armoured witch. Then again, Claire wasn't supposed to enter melee. She was supposed to hang back and use her portals to save others and hinder Glory. This was just training so she could dodge if anyone reached her.

"But…" Jim obviously didn't share Buffy or Claire's opinion.

Tough. Buffy stepped out of the way of another blow from Toby and tagged him with two quick jabs to the side that were barely strong enough to move him, then jumped over him as he ducked and landed next to Claire.

The girl dropped to the floor to avoid Buffy's telegraphed haymaker but wasn't quick enough to roll out of the way of Buffy's kick, so she got to roll a few more yards until she came to rest on her stomach.

"I'm fine!" she said, getting up again.

"I, uh, didn't say anything!" Jim protested.

"Good!"

And here she came at Buffy again. This time without any portal stuff. Or… that's what she wanted Buffy to think.

As expected, a second before Claire was in range, a portal appeared in front of her. Buffy turned. Now, where would…

Movement caught in the corner of her eye warned her, and she dropped to the floor as Claire stepped through the portal and swung her staff. Sneaky!

Buffy grinned as she rolled towards the girl with a Capoeira move, legs scissoring to trip Claire.

Toby tried to exploit that, attacking with another overhead swing, but Buffy rolled over her shoulder, out of the hammer's way, and jumped to her feet. She was in his face before he could recover, one foot trapping the hammer and the other kicking him away.

"Good, but not good enough," she said, taking a step back as the two started to get up.

Claire snarled and lifted her staff but didn't attack. Looking for another trick to try, no doubt.

Toby, though, huffed, panting, And rubbed his shoulder. Or his shoulder plate.

"Tobes? Are you OK?" Jim asked.

"Yes. This armour is great. I'm barely feeling a thing."

"That's not a good thing," Buffy joked. At least she hoped that she was joking.

"I don't mean like that. I don't feel the blows. Not unless they're strong enough to move me."

Which was still bad if your enemy could hit you with enough force to send you flying. "You're still too slow to recover if you overextend," Buffy told him. "And you need to do more dodging instead of portaling," she added with a glance at Claire. "Come on!"

They came at her again. With predictable results. But they were showing signs of improvement. A few weeks of this, and they would be great.

But they didn't have a few weeks. Glory was out there, and sooner or later, she would find a way to get to them. Buffy knew that in her gut. You couldn't just hide from the big bad and hope the problem would go away. You had to go out and slay it. And that was what she would do.


"Ow...Awesomesauce," Toby said as he rubbed his belly after removing his chestplate.

"You took a beating," James Lake Jr pointed out the obvious as he unfastened the straps holding Toby's greaves in place.

"From the Slayer," Toby replied. "That's OK." He blinked. "I mean, it's not OK in that getting beaten up is OK, but it's OK in that she's the Slayer. And I did better against her than I did against her little sister." He chuckled at his own joke.

Jim snorted, but he didn't really think it was funny.

"We had a training session," Claire said, stretching - she had already removed all her armour with Jim's help.

"And it was a good one." Toby nodded.

"She was holding back," Jim said before he could help it. Damn.

"Of course she was. It still was a good session," Toby insisted. "We learned a lot about moving in our new armour. At least I did."

"And we were holding back as well," Claire added. "I didn't use portals against her - I just used them to move around."

And caused Dawn and Willow to complain about the constant loss of connection to the Internet, but that wasn't a real issue as far as Jim was concerned. "You used them to attack her as well."

"Only to move so I could take a swing at her. I didn't use them to move her somewhere else. Or open a portal to the ocean and blast her with salt water to the face." Claire bared her teeth. "Place the portal deep enough, and the pressure would be massive."

That was creative. And quite nasty. Jim both approved and worried. But… "Don't you need to be in a place first, before you can open a portal to it?" That would be a little difficult without a submarine.

"I need to have a connection to the place, yes," Claire replied with a frown.

"And we don't have access to a DSV," Toby pointed out. "A deep submergence vehicle. Or a rocket so you could open a portal into space and suck Glory into vacuum."

"She can't pass through portals," Jim retorted.

"Right. Forgot about that. But she would be pinned to the portal, then!"

"And we'd get sucked through it. Together with the local air," Jim said.

Toby grimaced for a moment, then shrugged. Blinking, he rolled his shoulder. "No pain any more," he said. "Well, a twinge, but compared to how the rest of my body feels, it's nothing! I'm back!"

"Great, Tobes!" Jim smiled, though he was still conflicted.

"I'm going to smash Glory with the trollhammer!"

"The Hammer of the Troll Gods," Claire corrected him.

"Right." Toby nodded. "New armour, new hammer, Slayer-trained - I'm a completely new Toby!"

Jim cleared his throat. "Yeah, but… Glory's stronger and faster than the Slayer."

Toby's smile turned wry." I know, Jimbo. But I can't really sit back and let you two face her by yourself, can I? I'm part of the team."

Of course he could! That was what Mom and the others would be doing. Jim didn't say that, though. Couldn't say it. Toby knew as well as Jim did - maybe better, after almost dying in Sunnydale - how dangerous this would be. And still chose to do it. "Yes," Jim said instead and forced himself to smile.

"Yes," Claire agreed. "And we'll beat the hell-goddess. Together."

"High five!" Toby raised his hand.

Jim slapped it, as did Claire.

"So, I'm gonna get something to eat," Toby announced afterwards, dropping the last piece of his armour on the pile, then bundling it up. "Training makes me hungry." He glanced at the camp.

The others were just setting up the dinner, from what Jim could tell. That meant it would be about half an hour to an hour, depending on the meal, until they could eat. Enough time for a post-training snack. The Slayer would be snacking already.

That was the opportunity he had been waiting for, Jim knew. "Alright. We'll clean up here, then join you," he said, glancing at Claire. There wasn't much to clean up at all, but...

She nodded. Toby looked at them, then smiled and nodded as well before walking towards the camp, armour bundle dangling from the shaft of the hammer slung over his shoulder.

"So…" Jim started to say and trailed off.

"I know it's dangerous," Claire told him. "But you need me."

"Ah. That wasn't what…" Jim bit his lower lip. "I didn't want to talk about that." He took a deep breath. "I just wanted to… I mean, we're about to face Glory. So, I wanted to let you know, just in case…" He swallowed. He should have planned this better.

"Jim?" Claire tilted her head to the side, looking slightly puzzled.

"I love you!" he blurted out. "Just… I love you."

"Oh." She blinked, then smiled almost shyly. "I love you too."

Jim stifled a half-gasp half-snort, nodding as he opened his arms. She stepped up to him, tilting her head back, and they kissed.

He didn't want to lose her. He didn't want her to risk herself. He didn't say either. He just kissed her and tried to forget the upcoming battle.

At least until the next training session with the Slayer. They had to train how to fight the hell-goddess, after all.


Shadow Realm, January 26th, 2017

"...and this is how it will transform when it makes contact with makeup. So it'll stick to people wearing makeup, but not to bare skin," Willow explained. Well, explained to anyone who knew more about magic than how to beat up warlocks.

Buffy Summers wasn't a witch, after all. All she got from the babble was that she couldn't wear any makeup once the paint bomb went off. That was a bit of a bummer - you wanted to look good when you fought - but she could deal with it.

"I see." Old Grumpy leaned forward, leaning on his magic staff. "I assume you have tested this?" he asked in a tone that told Buffy that he didn't think so.

"We've run tests on leather, with various makeups. Also, it doesn't react to chemicals, but the concept of makeup. So, it doesn't matter what kind of makeup Glory is using, only that she uses makeup," Willow replied.

"And she does," Buffy cut in. She could confirm that - the skanky hell-goddess had no taste for quality, but she used makeup. Probably enough to cake over lots of demon zits or evil stains or something.

"And w-w-we'll be using g-goggles," Tara spoke up. "So we won't b-be b-blinded anyway. Just in c-case."

Merlin narrowed his eyes and made a coughing noise. "But you have not yet tested your crude modification of a spell with an entirely different purpose on anything resembling an actual target?"

Willow narrowed her eyes, and her lips turned into a pout. "We wanted to get your opinion on it, first, before moving on to such tests. You're supposed to be an authority on magic, aren't you?"

"I am one of the most experienced wizards left in this world - as far as I can tell based on the information available to me."

Woah, way to be humble! Buffy snorted, which earned her an annoyed glance from the grump. Point Buffy!

"Well, magic's not just wizardry," Willow retorted.

"To think that different ways to wield magic result in different forms of magic is a delusion I would hope even hedge witches are not suffering from any more."

Willow twitched. "You cannot just claim that all magic is the same simply because you ignore the various ways in which magic does differ! Whether you call upon the Earth Goddess or Hecate or make a deal with a demon matters! The results will show crucial differences!"

"A different coat of paint does not change the nature of a cart in any significant way."

"Unless you want to hide it in a forest or a desert," Buffy pointed out.

"Either way, a tarp of the appropriate colour or shrubbery will be a better solution," Merlin retorted.

"It was an example, just like yours!" Buffy shot back.

"And I refuted yours."

"You cannot just claim that your definition of magic is the only one which matters and dismiss everyone else's!" Willow protested.

"I just did." Merlin scoffed. "The same spell, cast by different practitioners of the art, will not differ in any meaningful way when striking your target. In any case, you need to test this spell thoroughly before you assume it will work as you intend it to. Many were the wizards who were ruined by their own arrogance or laziness, foregoing the thorough testing that is needed before working new magic."

While Buffy would pick her best friend over a grumpy old fossil any day of the week when it came to magic support, Merlin had sort of a point here.

"And we will test it! I just wanted another opinion before testing it, to save time if there was an obvious flaw in my spell!"

"If it were obvious, wouldn't you have noticed it already?"

"Oh, you!" Willow glared at him, then turned to Buffy. "We'll do a few tests now. We need a subject without makeup."

"I'll fetch Xander."

"And one with makeup," Willow added. "And one with makeup that is then removed. And probably face paint, too. In case we have soldiers in the area."

This was turning into a bigger affair than Buffy had thought it would. Willow was in full Willow mode. Buffy was sure she'd end up covered in paint one way or the other before this was over.

And it was all Merlin's fault.


"Can't you wear something?" Buffy Summers complained. Topless Spike was distracting in a way that vampires without a soul weren't meant to be.

"Woman, if I am to be covered in paint, I will not risk my best coat. I earned that coat." Spike sneered at her.

"You looted it from a Slayer you murdered," Buffy shot back.

"As I said, I earned it. Besides, letting her coat be ruined would dishonour her memory."

Buffy blinked. Was he seriously trying to pull that? "Honouring a slayer by wearing her clothes?"

"Her coat! It's unisex!"

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Step into the target area."

"I understood the first time."

"Just get on with it! We're almost through the first test series!" Willow yelled from the edge of the area.

Buffy blinked. "The first?" She had already had a T-shirt ruined by paint. And a hoodie to protect her hair, but she had taken that from Dawn, so it wasn't a real loss.

"We'll have three test series to cover all bases."

"A bare necessity. We are betting the fate of the Earth on this spell, after all," Merlin, looming over the witch - he hadn't served as a target dummy so far - agreed.

Great. He still had a point, if he worded it like that, but Buffy really didn't like it.

But she'd like facing Glory without a working plan even less.

So she nodded, pushed Spike into the target area, now marked with splashes of all colours of the rainbow, and took a step back.

At least being covered in paint would be an improvement over his current appearance.

"Test ten of series one," Willow said. "Launch!"

A small object flew towards Spike, detonating in a cloud of paint around him. Buffy heard Spike gasp.

"My eyes!"

Then the paint started to run down his body, not leaving any trace, as he rubbed his eyes. "Bloody hell!"

"Spell is working as intended. Now put on makeup so we can counter-test it!" Willow ordered.

"If I have to regrow my eyes after this, I'll expect some compensation!" Spike complained.

Buffy smirked. At least his vampireness came in handy. They couldn't really risk blinding anyone else for these tests. Well, maybe the changeling.

She handed Spike a makeup kit - Dawn's - with a smile. If this worked out, then they were ready for Glory.

Ready to end this.