September 14th 2022
Chapter 257
Our Gift For Heart
After
Minutes had gone by, and all the while, Lucas could see her just going through the motions as first a nurse came, then the doctor, and they examined her. This was a necessity, and it had to happen. She understood that. But most of all she just needed it to be over, so they would leave, so she could get to hold her baby. Lucas couldn't stop looking at her, his insides still feeling like he was on fire, or he had been on fire, and now the fire was being put out. She was awake. She was awake, and by all means everything he heard from the doctor told him that she was doing okay. The last couple of days had been so very emotionally trying, mentally, too, and it was enough that he could barely… She's here. She's okay. She's going to be okay. They weren't about to take this turn on faith, she would still be watched a while, but they were optimistic when they left the room, so he was going to be optimistic, too. He went back up to her, leaned over her and kissed her forehead, lightly kissed her lips… He was holding her face, and she must have felt his hand shaking. She grasped it with her own.
"I thought…" his voice came out a mess. She nodded; she understood.
"I'm right here, Huckleberry," she told him, her own voice still coming off a bit weak, but it was music to his ears, it was. If she knew how much it meant to him to hear her call him that… Oh, she must have, like always.
Before she even had the chance to ask him, nearby, Aubrey started to cry. Maya's reaction was immediate, like she might have gotten right out of bed to get to her. Lucas saved her the trouble. He went and gathered the little one, quietly soothed her as he brought her over. Maya's eyes were on her as she neared, like it was the first time she'd seen her, and even though she might have seen her briefly right after she was born, right before everything… He placed the baby in her arms, and Maya's smile was immediate and so very bright. It was the most alive he'd seen her in what felt like forever, and it gave his heart more relief than he could put into words.
"Hello…" she spoke quietly, taking in their new daughter like she wanted to memorize every inch of her. Aubrey was calm now, in her arms, awake and at peace with her mother. There was so much Maya wanted to know about the time while she'd been asleep, he could see it, but right now it actually really didn't matter, not nearly as much as being with her.
"How much do you remember?" Lucas found himself asking. He couldn't help it. Maya considered his words, even as she kept looking to the baby.
"I…" she shook her head. "I remember coming here, and I think I remember the delivery, but…" The rest was just fuzzy. Now she was looking at him, and she wasn't after much, but something very important remained at the top. The three of them were here, and that was all fine and good, but what about everyone else? What about their other girls? The realization of what these days must have been for them, too…
"I'll call them, alright?" Lucas promised. "They'll come. Just take it easy for now."
X
Before
He saw to cleaning Aubrey properly himself. He insisted on it, and the hollowness in his chest, created by his fear, might have played into his being enabled. Very carefully and tenderly so, he saw to his baby girl. He'd been so sure that his hands would be shaking, and on the inside, it felt like they were, but as he worked on her his hands were as steady as ever. Those who could see him right then would see what he couldn't see, the shock of what had happened with Maya.
She would be okay. Surely… They'd seen to her, and now she was resting, she just… She was going to wake up, and all would be well. She would get to hold their baby girl, and she would smile, and everything… everything… would be okay, she… He breathed. It was all so much, and he was still… He had to make sense of it all, but right now it felt like his brain refused. It was too full of memories, images, from the last hour, from the moment where he'd hastily been handed his new daughter.
He didn't think he would ever forget the look on her parents' faces, when they'd all been standing in that hallway, him with the baby, wild-eyed and confused… They'd come running the rest of the way, peered into the room. They knew better than to just run in there and possibly get in the way, but also…
"Maya…" Katy spoke her eldest's name, and it seemed to rattle her at once, enough that Shawn stepped in behind her, held to her shoulders like she might fall. He looked filled with just so much emotion, and Lucas would recall thinking that, removing the immediate fear response of blame and anger, it was not so far from what it had been like, the day he'd shown up at the hospital all those years ago, after Lucas and Maya had their accident. It was a bone-shaking fear that something so deeply terrible and terrifying was happening, and if Lucas didn't know already how much Maya meant to her stepfather…
"Hey… Hey, hey, come here," Shawn moved to his son-in-law, barely having to guide him as he brought him to a seat just outside the room and urged him to sit down. Lucas did so, on autopilot except for where the baby was involved. That was where the majority of his brain power went, like it needed to, as much for her sake as for his own. If he focused on her, she would be okay. And if he focused on her, he wouldn't have to think that just behind him, in that room, Maya might be…
"I don't… I don't know what happened, she… One moment everything was fine, or… The baby came, and she was good, crying, all of it, and then I…" His eyes stung, recalling that one moment, when everything had been turned upside down, when he'd seen… "I saw it in her eyes, she knew… She knew something was wrong. Next thing I knew, they were giving me the baby, telling me to step back, and then…" He looked up to his in-laws, at a loss for anything further to say.
Katy would look at him, at the baby, but also into the room, to Maya. Lucas could still hear them in there, didn't know what was happening, but then he knew that it wouldn't have mattered if he did. He wouldn't have been able to understand, and it would only have made things worse, but…
"Nadine…" he looked to Shawn, eyes feeling steadier in this instant than they'd done in minutes. "Is she here? She should… Maybe…" His thoughts were getting away from him again, but it was alright. Shawn grasped his meaning, and right now he looked as though he'd thrive on being able to do something to help his daughter, and he'd just been given that opportunity. He wasn't going to let it go.
"I'll be right back," he told his son-in-law before looking to his wife. She held his gaze, nodded, and then he went, first jogging down the hall then seeming to even out his stride into something normal. He would find Nadine, but he wouldn't sow alarm into the others.
"I don't even know who's back there…" Lucas stated as the thought came to him. There had been no space for him to think about anything else except Maya, and the baby, but now… The girls… He knew four of them would be with Missy, over at Sanderson Farm, but then the others… If Ella hadn't made it yet, she had to be on the road and… Oh, was there even a chance that their worries would be behind them by the time she arrived? And Marianne… He spoke her name, barely a whisper, when the thought came to him of having to look his firstborn in the eyes and tell her that her mother…
"Melinda picked her and Winnie up from school," Katy answered his question, which hadn't even been a question yet, and he looked at her. "She's back there now with the others." The way they looked at one another, he knew, they were both thinking the same thing, and it made neither of them happy to consider it. He could see her eyes struggle to decide between looking into that room and looking to the baby in his arms. She wanted to think about her granddaughter, wanted to come and hold her, discover her name, all the wonderful things that came with this happy addition, but at the same time, she was sick with worry for her daughter, and she had to keep watch over her…
The sound of hurried steps made him look back, and there was Shawn returning, Nadine hurrying ahead of him. This was her element, had been for some time already. In the years since she'd delivered Marianne to them back at the house, she'd only risen higher. Would it make a difference to have her in there, would she do something that those others wouldn't? Maybe not, but her presence would be reassurance, would be something to tell them that… they'd done everything they could, to help Maya. Her whole stance, her face, felt like she was locked in to do her job, even as they could see it was all layered on top of her just being a woman afraid for one of her best friends.
"Lucas…" she approached him, bent to embrace him quickly and carefully, looking to the baby as she brushed her little hand with a finger. Then she stood back up, touched Katy's arm on the way, and walked into the room. Lucas could hear her voice amid the others, and he clung to it like hope.
Everything that could reasonably be done had been done by now. As Lucas finished getting Aubrey cleaned up and could finally pick her up, the room was quiet. So much information was swimming through his mind right then, from what he'd been told about the baby – weight, height, everything – to what he'd been told about Maya's condition, what had happened to make it so that things had gone the way they'd done… Just now, he knew, all of that was still for the most part contained to him and his in-laws and Nadine, but that wouldn't be all of it, would it? It was 'for the most part' because, even if they hadn't been here, even if they hadn't been told anything, they'd have to be able to piece together enough context clues to know that something wasn't right. The longer they were left that way, the worse it would get, he knew, and yet he couldn't think, he just… His mind was split between where it wanted to be and where it needed to be, and he didn't know what he was supposed to do.
"That's much better, isn't it?" he tried to sound cheerful for the baby in his arms. She was looking at him, all small and curled in on herself… so much hair already… He looked up to the bed, where Maya lay. Asleep… She's just asleep… She's going to wake up soon, and she'll be so happy to meet you, lucky girl. He felt a chill run through him, at the idea that she wouldn't, and he had to look back down. Aubrey's eyes were still on him, and it made him smile. He drew her nearer, until he could kiss her outstretched hand. "You'll be alright, kiddo. And so will your mom… She's so strong… She'll pull through this."
TO BE CONTINUED
See you tomorrow! - mooners
