NINE YEARS LATER:
Hecate, Nemesis, and the many elegant cats once again sat around the pitch black lake.
"Wow, the warriors of that prophecy really did do that super vague world-saving thing we told them to do," Hecate exclaimed. "It only took them nine fucking years.
"Hey, watch your mouth!" Nemesis replied. "This story is rated K+ and the reporters are watching."
"Oops, sorry!" Hecate said, because she's quirky like that.
The warrior cats sat around and watched the two goddesses because who actually remembers what any of the warrior cats did and didn't repress it like all of their middle school memories?
"So," Nemesis proposed, "Did the world actually get saved in the nine years since we last met?"
Hecate sat back, pulled out an e-cigarette, and did a sick vape trick. "No lol, everything kind of got a lot worse. You know how in that cringey Percy Jackson/Minecraft YouTuber fanfiction that one closeted bisexual wrote in middle school where the big baddy were these disease ghosts? Yeah, that kind of predicted a global pandemic. Plus there was some funky fresh political instability."
"Oh yeah, I remember that," Nemesis exclaimed. "How is that cringey kid doing anyway?"
Hecate did a sick TikTok interpretive dance to explain that she's a burnt out gifted kid in film school studying to edit documentaries and plays D&D now because she's still a huge freaking nerd.
"That's nice. Anyway, shouldn't we be doing actual greek god things instead of sitting around coming up with vague prophecies? Like, that's not even our job. You're literally the god of magic and I'm the god of revenge. Why did that kid even pick us?" Nemesis smirked.
"Hell if I know. She's the literal adult manically writing a second chapter to a fanfiction she wrote in middle school that for some reason people saw promise in and then promptly abandoned but was reminded of it literally nine years later when the platform it's on is dead and the world is kind of a trash heap. I don't know if I trust her judgement."
"You know, that's fair." Hecate stood up. "All right, time to do the teleporting thing that makes you super nauseous even though you're literally a god and that joke doesn't even make sense?"
"Yep! Let's go!"
And then the two goddesses girlbossed their way back onto Mount Olympus. The warrior cats give a knowing look to the reader.
"You know, sometimes it's healthy to look back on your old art and give it the space it deserves as something that brought you joy and fulfillment at the time. You might think it's cringey, but platforms like this one gave you friends and an outlet for your creativity even during a really hard time. And you know, you moved on, but the person you are today was informed by the stories you read and created, and that's something incredibly valuable." The warrior cats spoke creepily in unison before disappearing mysteriously into the woods because the author doesn't know how else to get them out of the scene.
You're left by the dark lake. You, the main character, with "pretty but doesn't know it" in your introduction, are left wondering two things: what even was supposed to be the plot of this story, and why are you still following it after literally nine years of inactivity.
A/N (because I'm nostalgic for them lol): Hey. If anyone is reading this, I hope this email notification astral projected you back to the mid-2010's (what a truly wild time). I hope all of you are doing well! Not to get too serious, but writing cringey fanfiction like this in middle school definitely paved the way for the person I am now, so I'm grateful for it anyway. I hope none of you are holding out for an actual update to any of my stories, but enjoy them in this terrifying preserved state.
