Chapter 1 — — The Great Inter-Loli War.
It was a fine day in the Mather's mansion. Birds were chriping. Flowers were blooming.
"On days like these."
"Kids like you~,"
"Should be burning in hell, I suppose."
Now — — y'all must be wondering what the fuck has happened here. Not much, it's just that Subaru sarcastically said that he would love to see his lolis fight for his lap.
And there he was with Emilia in a bench nearby, watching his beloved lolis fight as he put the popcorn he was sharing with Emilia while holding her hand, in his mouth.
The lolis asked Subaru the combat art they should be using for the war, Emilia suggested magic, subsequently getting a bucket of water poured down on her body and earning a "shush" from all three Lolis simultaneously.
Subaru thought for a moment and then replied — —
"Now that we are done with the dialogue commanded to us by Subaru-sama, I say we begin the 『Throw Hands Art』 for the 『Great Inter-Loli War』," Said a little girl with chestnut hair adorning a frigid look in her eyes.
"I agree with you this once, in fact," A drill-haired loli cracked her knuckles and showed how eager she was to whoop their asses.
Subaru cheered for her from the side by throwing popcorn crumbs at Meili and Petra, as if it were tomatoes.
Beatrice visibly grew stronger due to the 『Subaru's favourite Loli』 boost.
"Wow. Beako-chan is rea~lly muscular," Chimed a sound akin to silver bells, pointing her fair beautiful arm towards the loli whose arms had multiplied in mass. It was as muscular as the quality of the Natsuki family's sword play, rated by Subaru's 『EMT Body Pillow』 which is a very credible source as it has experienced the Natsuki swordplay head on.
"Now~ let us begin~" Cooed Meili.
The three did a round of warm up exercises and were about to commence their match but — —
"Oi. We are missing a very important thing. What kind of stupid lolis are you if you can't even remind me such a significant tradition!?" Yelled Subaru, shaking his head on this absurd situation.
The three lolis all lowered their head in shame and Petra began, "I will—"
"Fuck it. I will do it myself," Subaru declared and went into the mansion, subsequently his room and brought with him a device — — a radio.
After Subaru had come back from Vollachia, he and Beatrice floated up to the ionosphere using murak and handpicked some ions into a jar to later use for a radio.
Subaru comes to Emilia and straps the radio on her face. He then proceeds to play ActRaiser OST Stage 01 — Filmore.
Subaru sits down on his seat and continues sharing popcorn with his Waifu again.
Subsequently, Beatrice, Meili and Petra glare at each other, trying to flare their aura of intimidation.
Meili held her braid as if it was an AK-47, earning an accidental gasp from Petra, which the orange-haired loli immediately followed up with pointing her middle fingers toward her eyes, flipping her opponents the bird, one for each whilst also emphasizing her eyes that apparently all the witch cultists want.
Beatrice simply flexed her ultra muscular arms with each muscle being surrounded with six packs. According to her opponents' thoughts though, it wasn't intimidating at all.
"— — Did you two just pee your pants? Pathetic," Subaru commented from his seat. "You tell 'em too, Emilia."
"Stop being woeful, guys. We are doing this the Spartone way!" Emilia cheered, moving her enticing lips to create sounds for speech.
"Who says woeful anymore, Emilia-tan?"
"I do."
"Wait — — that's not how you're supposed to play the game!" Subaru yelled woefully, earning a smug look from Emilia.
The battle of intimidation and warm up was finally over after 7 more minutes of, "Dilly dallying,".
Petra instantly pounced on Meili and the both of them began throwing hands.
*CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP*.
Subaru and Emilia peeked at the mansion windows cuz they heard clapping sounds form inside the oni twins' room too, but shrugged it off and continued watching the 『The Great Inter-Loli War』.
The two were wildly and artlessly flapping their hands whilst Beatrice was still flexing her arms for some reason. The two active participants paid no consideration to how much strength they were putting or to perfecting their choreography.
Slamming their hands unto each other's, the intensity of the sounds increased just as it did from withing the oni twins' room. Their hands grew redder and redder as they swelled too. They could feel the stinging pain gradually growing, about to reach unbearability.
Suddenly, Beatrice gave a loud manly war cry, then pounced on Meili, who, alongside Petra was assuming that she would keep the intimidation game going for a little bit longer.
Beatrice lifts up her strong hands mid air and then brings them down at a tremendously lethal velocity.
As the drill-haired lolis strong hands came in contact with Meili's — — the blue-haired girl felt the vibration of the snap of her bones reverberate through her body. After a moment the pain caught up too.
She could feel 100s of thousands of nerve endings flaring all at once. Her brain going haywire with its electricity, super charging the nerves and making her two entire hands explode into a pulp of flesh and blood.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,
"I sleep," Meili went unconscious due to the pain.
Emilia whistled and clapped her hands with childlike glee and Subaru wiped a proud tear.
Beatrice then dramatically slowly brought her gaze upon Petra.
"— — WAIT WAIT, PLEASE NO I BEG U BEATRICE-CHAN WE ARE FRINEDS RIGHT FREIDNS CANT KILL EACH OTHER PLEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSEE"
"Ok."
Subaru and Emilia cheered wholeheartedly for the winner and put their hands down to pick up some more popcorn.
"— — Looks like this is the last crumb..." Said Emilia, a dark note in her voice, "Forgive me for this, Subaru," She apologized for the sin she was about to commit and subsequently all kinds of torture devices began emerging from under the ground.
Subaru wordlessly stood up. Emilia figured he has given up. Truly, Subaru loved her so much. If only she—
Subaru rips out his face, revealing another.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Emilia caught a disease — it was a sever case of ligma and died, lmao.
"It was me all along; DIO!!!" Declared Su— Dio.
"Za Warudo, lmao," Commented Dio's loyal stand spirit — 『Beat the rice』.
And thus,
This happy day concluded on a happy note.
