Part Four--Tatooine

Chapter 12

Kyp knew Jaina had been trying to reach him through the Force. When he first felt her touch he had been surprised, but he quickly remembered how much she had hurt him and severed the contact. Then he began feeling her touch, gentle, like a warm breeze, almost pleadingly trying to regain their bond. However, no matter how much he wanted to know why she was trying to reach him, he refused to give in.

He found it hard to concentrate and he dared not open to the Force completely which irritated him further. The whole purpose of this trip was to meditate and get over Jaina Solo not hide from her.

He made it to Dreyer after stopping on Bespin for supplies and found a small dilapidated inn and checked in under an assumed name. As he moved around the small room he rented he thought about the planet he was born on. There weren't many beings left on the watery world that had once been home to him. He really didn't remember much about those first eight years of his life. Mainly, his mother's gentle smile or his father's stern but fair voice. And, of course, he remembered his brother Zeth, at the sudden stab of pain the memories brought to his heart he wondered about the sanity of coming to this place. But that was why he had come here, he knew it would be the last place Jaina would ever think of looking for him if she started looking for him physically.

He knew she wasn't with Fel but that only strengthened his resolve not to let her find him. He didn't want to be second best. He didn't want to be who she settled for because she couldn't have who she really wanted. No, she had her chance and she blew it. He only hoped he had the strength to continue his hiding because as the days turned into weeks he realized just how much he missed her.

He was lying in bed one night when he tentatively opened to the Force. He took a deep breath and tried to fall into a meditative state when he suddenly felt another presence. He explored it a bit when he realized it wasn't Jaina's. There was only one person who knew how to contact him. That person was Cilghal. He had told her that he would answer her call only if he was needed for any reason. But he didn't tell the Jedi healer why he was leaving or where he was going only that he needed to go away for a while. At first he thought maybe it was her; so, he opened himself up to the silent call and was instantly confused. It wasn't Jaina and it wasn't Cilghal it was Zekk. He wondered what the former Joiner was up to and was instantly bombarded with an image of Jaina crying. Kyp sat straight up in bed and immediately cut the Force connection.

So, she went to Zekk. Figures. He thought angrily. Well, her former bughugger was welcome to her. He sat there running his hand though his hair and shaking with a mix of betrayal, anger, self-pity, and heart ache. The tears were threatening again as the thought of her, of his Goddess, with the tall, broad-shouldered, dark-haired Jedi came to mind. He shook his head trying to clear it but couldn't, the image was there, just as it had been with her and Fel.

He sat there with his face buried in his hands and finally gave into the sobs as he wondered again how he was ever going to stop loving her and why she could never love him. Of course, the quiet voice in the back of his mind whispered, you know the answer. She is too good for you and she always will be.

That was when Kyp decided he needed to stop what he was doing. Wallowing in self-pity wasn't going to help him get over her any faster now then it had all the years before. He needed to find someone to help him and he knew where to look. He got up and instantly began to pack his clothes. He only hoped she was still on Tatooine where he had left her nearly fifteen years before.

Sari was tall, had a great body and dark red hair and ironically eyes nearly the color of his. He thought about the proprietress of the cantina and instantly remembered what it felt like in her arms. No, she would never replace Jaina in his heart or in his soul, but she maybe able to distract him enough that the pain would turn back into the dull ache that he could live with rather than the lightsaber thrust to the heart he now felt.

X

Kyp landed his X-Wing in the hanger in Mos Esley and popped the canopy. He pulled his helmet off and shook out his hair. An old excitement filled him; it had been years since he'd been here. Back before the Vong, back when Jaina Solo was still only a child and his friend's stubborn daughter who amused him with her flirtations and her antics with the young former dark Jedi named Zekk. Back when he and his Dozen along with his apprentice Miko brought justice to the Outer Rim. Back when he found his pleasure in the willing and experienced arms of the daughter of a moisture farmer turned cantina owner.

Kyp made his way through the bustling streets of one of Tatooine's few cities. It amazed him how it all seemed the same. Of course, Tatooine was like that. This town was probably the same as it had been when Anakin Skywalker was still a small boy here.

He found the street and turned down it and then he stopped in front the old building, looking up at the holosign he smiled. The Pandora's Box Cantina was still here. Now, if Sari was still as he remembered. Taking a deep breath to calm himself as much as give him courage, he entered the darkened bar.

Kyp moved in looking over a nearly empty common room. Well, he thought, it was still early morning here. Then he heard her voice clear but still rough from the harshness that was Tatooine.

"Just a minute. I'll be right there."

Kyp turned to the sound of the voice and was somewhat taken aback when she moved into the feeble light of the dinning room. She was still beautiful, older and her red hair was shorter with a few strands of silver, but her dark brown-green eyes were as alive as he remembered them. She was dressed in a form fitting jumpsuit that he oddly realized reminded him of Mara Jade but he shook that image from his mind almost as quickly as it entered. He had at one time thought he had loved her that was until a young sixteen year old girl stole his heart and never gave it back. He silently hoped that there was still enough feeling left for them to possibly pick up where they left off.

She squinted at him and he nervously ran a hand through his long curly hair. Then he felt as much as saw recognition on her still pretty features. "Kyp Durron?" Her voice was a bit strangled as she said his name. "Is that really you?" She moved closer as she stared at him. Then she gave him a delicious smile and said in the saucy voice he remembered, "Kriff, when did the Nine Corellian Hells spew you from their bowels? Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" With that said she was in his somewhat surprised arms and kissing him with a passion he remembered quite well.

He returned the kiss and deepened it. Finally, he pulled back and grinned, "Do you welcome all you old flames back the same way, Sari, or only those you really liked?"

Still holding him close she purred, "And a girl never kisses and tells." Then she stepped away from him, placed her hands on her still shapely hips and looked him over. Finally, she shook her head and said, "Emm—emm—emm, Durron, you still are one of the best looking men in the Galaxy. What has it been? Almost fifteen years?"

He grinned again and nodded, "Yeah, something like that." Then he looked around and finding a small table close by he sat down, she sat across from him. "You haven't changed much either."

She laughed a laugh of a woman who lived a hard life but still occasionally found humor in it. "And you were always a sweet talker, as I remember." Then she called out, "Stefen, bring me two of the best whiskies we have on the menu." Her eyes twinkled as she glanced back at him and as her red lips parted in a mischievous grin she added, "Corellian for sure. I think our guest will soon need it."

Kyp gazed at her puzzled, not understanding her meaning but her grin and the gleam in her eyes only brightened. Suddenly, Kyp felt another presence coming towards him, untrained but definitely strong in the Force. He glanced up and he lost all breath as he stared into the green-brown eyes of a dark-haired boy of about fifteen who remarkably looked like him.

Sari chuckled as the boy nearly lost his grip on the glasses he carried, then she said, "Kyp, meet my son Stefen, Stefen, this is your father, Jedi Master Kyp Durron."

>X

Chapter 13

Kyp stared at the boy not really knowing what to think much less say. He watched as the boy made a swallowing motion the protruding, adolescent Adam's apple moving up and then down again. Kyp never expected to have fathered a child with this woman, Hells, truth be told, he never expected to be a father.

Slowly, Sari's words found their way into the fog that seemed to numb his brain, "Stef, I think Master Durron really needs that drink now."

He remembered to breathe as he watched with fascination as the boy—no, my son—stepped forward and held out a glass of the welcoming, amber liquid. With a hand that was trembling as much as the one holding the proffered glass, Kyp reached out to take the glass. As his hand brushed that of Stefen's, he lost his fragile hold on the glass before Kyp was able to get a firm grip on it. The glass fell toward the floor at a blinding speed for about a foot before Kyp, more out of instinct than cognitive thought, reached out with the Force and caught it before it spiraled to the floor. As the glass floated into Kyp's out stretched hand, he watched in the boy's eyes grow wide with disbelief. Oddly Kyp remembered the first time he had ever seen anyone use the Force when he was a boy in Kessel and the amazement that came from that experience.

"Astral!" Stefen exclaimed in pure amazement.

Kyp lifted the glass to his lips and drained it in two gulps. He didn't even feel the burn.

Sari took the other glass and as she drank, Stefen asked in an awestruck voice, "Will I ever be able to do that?"

Kyp blinked and after finally taking a deep breath, quietly said in an unusually shaky voice, "Um—I—I suppose—Stang!" He turned stunned eyes to a slightly smiling Sari, "I'm his father?"

She laughed lightly and leaned over the table to say, "Well, since he looks just like you and can be as stubborn as you, I don't think we need a paternity test. Not to mention he seems to think he is Force-sensitive."

Kyp turned his attention back to Stefen and softly said, "He is, I mean strong in the Force."

"You can see that?" Stefen asked incredulously smiling nearly from ear to ear.

Kyp smiled weakly for the first time and shook his unruly head of silver frosted black long curls. "Not see. One can't see the Force. At least, not with your eyes. I feel it." After a long moment that was growing almost uncomfortable of father staring at son and son staring at father, Kyp broke the silence by saying, "Here I'll show you. Hold out your palm." As Stefen obeyed the simple request, Kyp lifted his own, "Don't touch mine. Now, close your eyes." Kyp spoke in a soothing voice as he gave the simple instructions. He could feel the boy's strong desire to please. "Now, take a deep, slow breath and let it out slowly and as you do so open your mind and your feelings, your senses. Let the Force guide you as it catches your feelings and senses. Don't fight it."

Kyp was astonished at the boy's ability. He felt the Force swirl around him and smiled when he felt the light, tentative brush of his son's seeking presence. In that moment there was no doubt; Stefen was Kyp Durron's son. However, Stefen's touch was brief as Kyp had expected. His inexperience and utter shock at feeling another's presence for the first time broke the boy's concentration and control.

When his brown-green eyes flew open and he pulled his hand away, Kyp couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips. "You just felt me through the Force."

"Astral!" he shook his head full of dark brown curls that reminded Kyp so much of himself. "It was like seeing and feeling a bright light," he added softly.

Kyp chuckled again but before he could say anything a demanding, deep voice called out from somewhere in the back, "Stef, get your head out of the stars! Where are you? You told me you were getting your mother some whisky, but I didn't know you were going to Corellia to get it!

Stefen glanced over his shoulder and then turned back to Sari who nodded and gestured with her hand. "Go. Help your uncle Jon." Then she turned bright eyes back to Kyp, "I don't think Master Durron will be leaving any time soon."

Stefen looked at Kyp one last time, then shyly asked, "Can—can you teach me more, Master Durron?"

Kyp's heart skipped a beat at his question and after swallowing the sudden lump in his throat he nodded, "Yeah. Um—but now you better go. I—ah—we'll have time to get acquainted later."

Stefen bobbed his head of unruly curls and scampered off to the door behind the bar that led into the kitchen. As soon as the door swooshed open, Kyp heard Stefen's excited voice, "Uncle Jon, he's here! My father—"

Kyp couldn't make out the rest of the statement after the door closed again. He turned expectant eyes to the woman who sat across the small table from him. "Were you ever going to tell me about him?"

She straightened, took a deep breath and stood. She went behind the bar and Kyp watched as she reached down behind it. After hearing what sounded like bottles clinking together, she straightened and held up a bottle of Whreyn's Reserve—one of the best Corellian Whiskies produced. She walked back to the table and held the bottle out to momentarily study it. Finally, she said uncertainly, "I've been saving this bottle of whisky for nearly fifteen years. Knowing that when this day came I'd need it ever bit as much as you." Then she opened it and poured both glasses full. She looked at him and Kyp was actually surprised to see sadness there. "I didn't tell you because I knew you'd want to take him away. Or, nearly as bad, want to do the damnable—get married." She shook her head as she sat down again and then took a long drawl from the glass.

Kyp suddenly felt like his world had been completely turned inside out, besides it's already upside down state Jaina had left him in. He gulped down nearly half a glass.

Sari met his green-eyed gaze again and continued, "Kyp, don't take this wrongly, but out of all the men I've ever been with you were my favorite. But I never loved you. Love is for fools, we both know that. But I did care about you and when I discovered I was pregnant I was thrilled because I knew you were the father." She looked away and quietly admitted, "I—I felt like I was growing old and that I was missing something in my life. I wanted a baby but I didn't want the strings of marriage." She looked at her hands which were wrapped tightly around her glass to keep them from shaking. Then she looked up and said, "I only ever wanted your child but I didn't want you. When you told me that you wouldn't be back for a while I took an agent to counteract my contraceptive and I became pregnant our last time together. But once Stefen was born and after he grew some, I knew that he was different. I knew he had inherited your Force sensitivity and it scared me. I knew then that you'd never be able to know." She laughed bitterly and took another drink, nearly draining the glass. "Of course, the Vong War kept everyone busy for a long while and you forgot about your sources of pleasure on the Outer Rim."

Kyp stared at her. He never guessed she felt that way. He understood her because he felt the same way for her. Finally, he swallowed and said his voice rough with emotion, "But he is my son, Sari. I had a right to know."

"Yes, Kyp, he is your son. And he has been waiting to meet you ever since I showed him a holo of you that was in a media magazine after the war."

"He needs trained, Sari. He knows he can touch the Force and will start trying to use it. This is a very dangerous time for him. He is too strong not to be trained. Sari, I need to take him back to the Academy."

She slowly nodded and quietly replied, "I know, Kyp. It is selfish of me but I'm not ready to give him up. However, I know I can't stop him from realizing his dreams. He knows he could be a Jedi and that is what that boy wants more than anything. He is always looking to the stars, to adventure. He idolizes Luke Skywalker and even to some extent little Anakin Skywalker." Kyp had to swallow hard when he heard this but then his son was from Tatooine, like it or not. However, her next words nearly took his breath away, her brown-green eyes intense as they bore into his green. "But, Kyp, it is you he most wants to be like. It is you he wants to please more than anything. He doesn't blame you for not being here. He knows I never told you and he knows what I am." She gave him a sad smile then added, "He loves you, Kyp. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me and learn to love him as well."

Kyp Durron stared at her for a moment and then drained his glass wondering just what in the Nine Corellian Hells he was going to do now.

>X

Chapter 14

Kyp stepped out into the bright, nearly blinding light of Tatooine's duel suns from the back door of the cantina. He crossed the small expanse of packed orange sand to come back into the cooler shade of the makeshift garage. He had in his hands two cold drinks and he suddenly wished his was stronger than the fruit flavored beverage he was carrying. As he rounded the old dilapidated speeder he found Stefen bent over in the engine of it. He just watched him for a little while and wondered just what kind of mechanic the fourteen year-old was. Kyp himself was average at best, but he could fix just about anything if given the right tools and enough time. But he never was as good as Han or Jaina—

No, don't think of her now.

He had hedged Sari's questions as to why, after fifteen years, he showed up on her doorstep. He simply said he had missed her and that he was in the area doing Jedi business. He felt bad about the lie but he honestly didn't want to tell her about Jaina. Sari had no time for love in her life, nor did she ever want it. How could someone like her understand about Jaina.

Finally, Stefen felt Kyp's presence and looked up. Kyp smiled at him and said, "I was wondering when you'd notice me. " He stepped closer and handed the boy the cold glass. Stefen gratefully took it and stared at Kyp. Kyp took a sip of his and then said as he moved to sit on an old packing crate, "You must be more aware of your surroundings. It's dangerous for a Jedi not to know what is out there."

Stef nodded and swallowed, then he said, "Is it possible for me to be a Jedi?"

Kyp grinned and sat his glass down on the work bench beside him. "Of course it is. You are very strong in the Force, Stefen. I'm very strong in the Force," Kyp added quietly. After a moment he swallowed the lump in his throat, "Come, sit down." Stefen obeyed and sat on the lid of a tool box next to Kyp. Then Kyp met his gaze and said, "I've spoken with your mother and she agrees that it would be good if you went to the Jedi Academy."

Stefen nearly burst with excitement, "Really? I can go to the Academy?"

Kyp chuckled at his enthusiasm and leaned over and ruffled his already unruly curls. "Yep." Then after a moment he grew serious again, "Stefen, the Force is a powerful ally and a dangerous enemy. With it a Jedi can do great things. We can help those who are too week to help themselves. We can heal the sick and we can bring peace and serenity to troubled minds." Kyp's gaze grew more intense as he went on, "Or we can use it to do great evils. We can use it to destroy life and those who we love the most. But believe that we are doing it for all the right reasons. Being a Jedi is a great responsibility and should never be taken lightly."

"I understand," Stefen said quietly. He looked up at Kyp with a look that nearly melted his heart. "I know what you did. But I don't blame you. Mom has told me a lot about you and I—emm—l've done a lot of research about you." Kyp just stared at him and wondered what was out there on the HoloNet about him. He never cared before, but now, suddenly, with the thought that his son only knew him through the often biased opinions of the HoloNet made him cringe.

"I really hope you don't believe everything that you've read about me."

Stef smiled and lightly chuckled, "Of course not. But I figured about half of it has to be true."

Kyp was quiet for a moment not really knowing what to say next. It was Stefen who broke the silence, "Master Durron, why did you do it?"

Kyp stared at him. He had been dreading this question every since he discovered Stef was his son. Hell, he dreaded ever having to explain this to a child of his. Kyp swallowed hard and looked at the distant tan wall of the garage but he did not see it. Finally, he spoke, his voice quiet, "A Sith Lord promised me that I could revenge my parents' and my brother's deaths if you destroyed the Imperials. I knew exactly what to do and so I did it. I let the Dark Side of the Force into my heart and it consumed me. It gave me power that I never felt before. It made me feel like I could control everything. But in reality I controlled nothing. It controlled me. I destroyed Carida and with it murdered millions of people. Yes, in doing so I levered a killing blow to the Empire and by destroying Daala's fleet may have saved Coruscant. At least that is what I tell myself. But none of the possible 'good' ever outweighs the fact I murdered my brother whose supposed death I thought I was avenging. Or, the innocents who never deserved to die." Kyp was reflective for a moment then turned back to his son, "I never want you to ever go through that kind of hell, Stefen. You are too strong in the Force not to learn how to control it. I was only a few years older then you when I fell, and although, I've moved on and I've done good since. There are times I think I'll never recover."

Kyp was silent for a long time and he could feel the boy's growing discomfort. Finally, Kyp said a little more lighthearted, "I want to give you time to say your farewells to your family and friends. But I'd like to take you back to Ossus in a few days. I'll need to contact Master Skywalker and as soon as I can arrange transportation for us both I'd like to leave." Then he stood and as he headed for the door he felt Sefen's disappointment. Kyp turned back to him and realized he was disappointed that their conversation was over so soon. Kyp looked back at him and realized that he knew absolutely nothing about his son. Kyp smiled and turned to face him and said, "So, what are you attempting to do to this bucket of bolts."

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