Part Five—Discoveries and Decisions
Chapter 15
Jaina felt as if she was going to lose her lunch, well, she did if she still had any thing left in her stomach. Her palms were sweaty and she could not sit still. And no amount of calming breaths seemed to quail the feeling of impeding doom. As she looked at the man who was pacing in the opposite direction across the small living room of her apartment she could tell that he felt the same.
She looked up at the chrono and suddenly felt the presences of her parents, uncle and aunt. Zekk wasn't too sure about having the Skywalkers there too but relented when she told him Luke could restrain her father if need be. Then she told him that he didn't need to go through with this at all if he didn't want to. But Zekk only smiled and reassured her that he couldn't even think of backing out now. As far as he was concerned the baby she carried was his and that he loved her too much to let her stranded. Somehow that only made her feel slightly better.
She actually started when the bell rang. She looked at Zekk and they both took calming breaths. He nodded that he was ready and smiled, then she opened the door.
"Hi," she said as her mother hugged her then she hugged her father. Zekk had came to stand behind her and Han glared at him.
Zekk cleared his throat and stared at Han's hard stare. He knew Han didn't like him. He never really did. But Zekk would walk through all nine of Hells of Corellia for Jaina.
"Han," he simply said as greeting. Then he looked at the Skywalkers and said, "Masters Skywalkers. Princess."
Han looked from Zekk to Jaina as they all stepped into her living room. He asked, "I'm I missing something?"
Jaina glanced at Zekk and then swallowed, "I think you all should sit down." Jaina then sat down on the only stuffed chair in the small room; Zekk leaned against the arm and gently laid his arm across her shoulders. They had planned it that way. They knew they needed to act and look like they were what they said they were—a couple in love who wanted to get married despite the fact she was pregnant.
"Okay," Han didn't miss the intimate gesture of Zekk's. "I'm sitting down. Now what is going on?"
Leia stared at Jaina as did Mara, then suddenly Leia's expression registered surprise that she quickly hid. Jaina knew the Jedi sensed the baby. Luke only glanced from Jaina to Zekk and she knew he also sensed the baby. Her heart was in her throat. It was too late to back out now.
Jaina then said quietly, "Zekk and I are—" Her throat seemed to go closed on her and she suddenly couldn't think or even breathe. She felt Zekk's concern through the Force and she felt his reassurance. But that wasn't what was keeping her from responding. Her heart was screaming at her that she was making a mistake.
Zekk not knowing what to think looked at the Solos and the Skywalkers. After clearing his throat he said, "Jaina and I would like to get married."
"What?" four voices chimed at the same time in various octaves. The loudest being Han's closely followed by him jumping to his feet.
"You can't be serious," he glared at Zekk who also stood along with everyone else. "When did this come about? Last time we saw you," he looked at Jaina, "you were dating some government flaky or fighter jock. Now, you tell me you are going to get married. I want you to be happy, Jaina, but I don't think you should jump into marriage especially with him," he pointed his thumb at his daughter's former mind-mate.
Leia looked up at her husband and said soothingly, "Han, I think you should sit down. There's more to this." He stared at her for a moment then back at Jaina and Zekk.
They both swallowed hard and after Leia managed to calm Han down slightly, Jaina knew she needed to tell him the rest. He was the only one who didn't know. "Daddy, I'm also pregnant."
Han Solo blinked twice at her then looked at Zekk. For a moment she wasn't sure that he had heard her. Finally, as her words registered Han flew across the space separating the couch he and Leia occupied and the chair Jaina and Zekk were sitting. Zekk stood and Han grabbed him by the collar of his tunic.
"Why you no good bug-hugging vent-crawler I should kill you for this," Han's voice was pitched low and dripped with absolute venom.
"Han!" Leia and the Skywalkers called out. And Luke grabbed his brother-in-law and pulled him free of Zekk.
Jaina was at her fiancé's side and looked up at her father. She took a deep breath. She had to make this look as believable as possible not just for her father but for the Jedi behind him. She pushed all of her gratitude and all the love she held for Zekk as a dear friend to the front of her mind. And she buried everything else. Then she said, "I love him, Daddy. That is why I came to Ossus. So that I could be with him."
Luke was very quiet and seemed to be studying her. Finally, he said, "Is that why Kyp Durron left?"
At the mention of Kyp, Jaina's heart fluttered and her soul screamed at her again. But she pushed those feelings back and responded, "I don't know why Kyp left. I think he thought we had something more than we did."
"How far—when will the baby be born," Leia asked almost too quietly to be heard.
Jaina gave her mother a slight smile, "I'm just a little over a month." She looked at Zekk and gave him what she hoped was a stupid I'm-so-in-love grin and added, "We just found out." Then she looked at her father who was just staring at Zekk with something akin to murder in his eyes and continued, "We had decided to get married before the baby was discovered though."
Suddenly, Luke's commlink beeped and he excused himself slightly and answered it. "Skywalker."
"Master Skywalker," the voice of Corran Horn came through. "I just received a comm from Kyp. He is requesting that you contact him immediately. I have the frequency if you would like me to patch it through to you."
"Yes. I'm at Jaina Solo's apartment I can call from here."
"Okay. Here it comes. Horn out."
Jaina's heart nearly stopped when she overheard Corran mention Kyp's name. She still was desperately trying to figure out who the father of her baby was but not because she didn't want to marry Zekk. She had decided that was what she wanted. However, more and more she was getting the feeling it did belong to Kyp. She knew Zekk loved the baby as much as she did. They had spent the past week just holding each other and imagining what their baby would be like. Zekk made her feel loved even if she didn't feel the same for him and right now that is what she needed most. Kyp didn't want her anyway; so, why should she not try to fall in love with Zekk. She already loved him as a friend and she could never thank him enough for his selflessness.
But knowing Kyp was contacting Luke suddenly made her doubt what she was doing. She still loved Kyp.
Jaina absently nodded when Luke asked to use the comm station in her living room. She moved so that she could hear the conversation but not be seen.
Luke then called the frequency Corran patched through to his commlink and within minutes is met by the image of a beautiful dark red-haired woman.
She responded, "The Pandora's Box Cantina, Mos Eisely, Tatooine. This is owner Sari Boaden"
Tatooine? What the kriff is he doing on Tatooine? She thought.
Luke responded, "I was given this frequency for Jedi Master Kyp Durron. Is he available?"
She smiled and said, "Well, it is the middle of the night here but I believe he is still up. May I ask who is calling?"
Luke blushed softly and said his tone apologetic, "I'm sorry. I was unaware of the time. I should have done a time check on the call. I am Grand Master Luke Skywalker. He had left a message for me."
"Oh," she truly looked surprised. Then she quickly recovered and smiled, "You look younger than I thought you would. I must say, being born and raised on Tatooine, I am honored to meet your acquaintance."
Luke nodded and smiled, "Thank you."
"I will have Kyp fetched immediately."
Kyp. So she is on a first name basis.
After a few moments, Kyp appeared, "Master Skywalker," he said and bowed his head.
Jaina's heart leapt at the sound of his voice.
"Kyp. You contacted me—" Luke let the sentence hang.
Kyp cleared his throat and said, almost nervously, Jaina thought, "I have found someone who is very strong in the Force and should be trained. I'm hoping to bring him back with me to Ossis within the next day or two."
Luke was surprised and asked, "How old is he? Should we arrange for placement of his parents?"
Kyp really looked nervous as he ran his and through his hair and said, "He's almost fifteen. And—emm—" Kyp swallowed and Jaina really could tell he was dreading telling Luke something. Then he went on, "Well, it seems I'm the boy's father."
Jaina suddenly felt so lightheaded that she couldn't remain standing any longer. Only Zekk's quick and loving arms saved her from hitting the floor as the world around her went black.
>X
Chapter 16
Jaina dizzily looked around the room and discovered she was lying on her bed in her bedroom. The lights were dimmed and she didn't see him at first standing by the window. However, he must have sensed her awakening from the fainting and turned and walked toward her bed.
Jaina rubbed her temples and softly asked, "Where's Zekk and the rest?" She was a bit surprised to find only her uncle in her bedroom.
He gazed down at her with intense blue eyes as he sat beside her on the bed. Finally, he said, "I sent them out. I wanted to talk to you alone." Then he gave her a hard stare and pointedly asked, "What's going on? I know that you are further along in your pregnancy than you claim and—" he swallowed and Jaina got the impression that he was uneasy about the last, "—and I know Zekk isn't the father."
Jaina looked away; she didn't know what to say. After a long moment she said matter-of-factly, "He isn't."
Luke patiently nodded and sighed, "Does he know he isn't?"
She looked up at him slightly angered at what he was suggesting, but the anger was short lived because she realized that was exactly what she was doing to her family and her baby. She suddenly felt the sting of tears as she replied, "Yes. It was actually his idea that we marry and that he would claim the baby as his own."
Luke wasn't really surprised that Zekk would do something like that. However, it saddened him because he knew Zekk's reasons for such actions. He quietly asked, "Jaina, do you really love Zekk?"
She looked away and slowly shook her head, tears silently sliding down her face, "No."
"Jaina," when she didn't turn to look at him he repeated more forcefully, "Jaina, look at me." Luke waited until he met her watery brown eyes. Then he continued, "That is not fair to either you, Zekk or your child. Your son needs to know his father."
She sat up then and drew her knees to her chest after wrapping her arms around them she whispered, "Even if his father may be Jag Fel?"
"What?" Luke couldn't hide his astonishment from his voice.
She swallowed hard and added, "I can't tell whether Jag is his father or Kyp Durron. But from the sounds of it, Kyp already has his hands full." The last came out bitterly. She was more than a little shocked at Kyp's announcement. She still couldn't process the implications yet.
"Jaina, what are you saying?" Luke was shocked by her confession.
Upon that question, she took a deep breath and told Luke everything. About her date and night with Kyp, her date and time with Jag, her not being able to find Kyp through the Force, her discovery of the pregnancy, and finally, ended with Zekk's solution that she marry him and his claim to be the baby's father. "I love Kyp, Uncle Luke, but he will never be able to forgive me. I hurt him too much. I hope that someday I will be able to learn to love Zekk. I know he loves me."
Luke took her hand and with sadness in his voice, "Jaina, you can't 'learn' to love someone. At least, not truly love them. You will only end up making things worse if you go through with this marriage."
She sobbed, "But my baby needs to have a father. I want him to be happy."
Luke shook his head, "Your child deserves the truth even more than he needs a father, Jaina." She watched as he stood and walked back to the window. After several moments Luke spoke without turning.
"I never knew who my father was. I only knew a name—Anakin Skywalker—and later I learned that everything I thought I knew about him was a lie. A lie told in hopes of protecting me from the awful truth. Occasionally, I would hear a story about an amazing human boy who at a young age won the Boonta Eve Podrace with the same name. My uncle and aunt would explain that it was just a coincidence and that they were not the same person. I never doubted their word. I was told that Anakin had left me with them when I was a baby after my mother died and was a mechanic on some random ship when he was killed. They never told me any more. I never even saw a picture of him. Of my mother I knew nothing. Aunt Beru had only told me once that she was a beautiful woman and had lived far away. But it was my father that fascinated me the most. I would spin thousands of fantasies about what I thought my father was like." He paused and then turned back to Jaina, "Even though I know now who and what Anakin Skywalker became, I wish I had known the person he had been."
Silence engulfed them and Jaina thought he was through. She was looking down at her folded hands which lay clasped over her knees when he began speaking again. At his words she snapped her gaze back to him, "But unlike Anakin Skywalker who allowed himself to be twisted into the evil monster Darth Vader, your son's father is a good man. Your son deserves to know that. Furthermore, his father deserves to be a part of his son's life. He has already missed out on the childhood of one son, Jaina, don't deign him the right to enjoy this son's life."
She stared at him stunned, not sure she dared to believe his meaning. Finally, she stammered, "I—I don't understand?" She was almost afraid to ask. "Can—you tell who my baby's father is?"
Luke gave her a sad smile, "Who do you think the father is?"
She swallowed and answered, "I want to believe it's Kyp. But I am not certain of it."
Luke's smile brightened, "It is. I'd recognize Kyp Durron's Force signature anywhere, even in his child."
Jaina continued to stare at her uncle with a mixture of relief and dread, because she knew her life was only going to become even more complicated than before.
>X
Chapter 17
"That's it. Concentrate, Stefen," Kyp couldn't help but be enthusiastic at Stefen's progress. They had only been in hyperspace for five days and already he was able to move small objects with is mind. Kyp watched as he moved a small dried bean several centimeters from the surface of the scared table.
Suddenly, Stefen's control on the Force loosened and the bean dropped and began to roll off the ledge. Kyp easily reached out and caught it.
"I can't get it above that certain point, Master," Stefen sounded as frustrated as he looked. Kyp knew it was time to stop.
"But, you have only been practicing for four days," Kyp said as he stood and headed to the small food prep area of the living space of the small, two cabin ship he had purchased to bring them back to Ossus from Tatooine. Once there he began to make each of them a cup of hot chocolate. It had never been his favorite drink but I knew Stefen enjoyed it. Kyp was glad that he was the one to introduce it to him. After returning to the table with the steaming mugs, Kyp sat again and smiled, "You are actually learning quite fast and you have great potential, Stef."
Kyp watched as Stefen looked down at his cup and wrapped his hands around it. Finally, he said so softly Kyp wasn't sure if he heard him correctly, "Thank you, Master Durron."
Kyp continued to gaze at him, he still was marveling at how similar they were and not in just looks. He saw the same impatient stubbornness and even occasionally Kyp would see the same impertinence Kyp himself displayed. But Stefen had something Kyp never remembered possessing—innocence. And when Kyp remembered how his was taken away from him by the horrors of the Kessel mines and by Exar Kun, Kyp wanted to do everything in his power to protect the innocence in his son.
Kyp sipped his cup and as he sat it down said, "Stefen, I know you have spun this idea of who I am but I want you to know that not everyone in the Order likes me."
Stefen looked up at Kyp and he continued, "But I also need you to know why I came to Tatooine in the first place." Kyp took a deep breath. He was shocked to find out that his message to Luke had been heard by Mara, the Solos, and by Jaina. He will never forget the stunned gasps at his revelation. He never wanted them to find out about Stefen that way. He actually hadn't thought about how he was going to tell the Solos or Jaina about Stefen, but finding out the way they did was not among them. He also had no idea how he was going to explain Jaina and why he intended to avoid her at all possible costs to Stefen. After taking a deep breath he said, "There is a woman that I was friends with, best friends, who lives at Ossus that—that betrayed my trust. I came to Tatooine in hopes of coming to terms with her betrayal."
Stefen blinked and then gave Kyp a shy smile, "You were in love with her and she hurt you?"
Kyp nearly choked on his sip of the cooling chocolate. He sputtered, "What do you mean?"
Stefen, somewhat amused by Kyp's sudden discomfort, grinned, "Because I heard you call out a name in your sleep the other night. I assumed she was someone special to you."
Kyp stared at him and then slowly sighed, "Jaina."
"Actually, you said 'Goddess'."
Kyp chuckled and responded, "That's what I've called her since the Vong war. Her name is Jaina Solo."
Kyp's chuckle only became more robust was he watched Stefen's eyes grow wide and then as he grinned, "The one and only Jaina Solo?" He shook his head and said before Kyp could respond to his question, "Astral, Dad! She's beautiful." Suddenly he blushed and looked down at his chocolate. "I mean—Master Durron—emmm—she is rather pretty." Then he looked back at Kyp and said, "You're in love with Jaina Solo, Master?"
Kyp's heart leapt but not at his son's perception of Jaina but rather at his slip of his tongue. Dad. Kyp had never thought about being called by that honorific and suddenly upon hearing it everything concerning Stefen became very real. Kyp quietly said ignoring the boy's questions, "Stefen, would you like to call me—ahhh—'Dad'?" Then Kyp held his breath.
Stefen gazed at him and slowly nodded his head, "Yeah, I guess." He blushed and looked away again, "I—emm—always thought of you as my dad." After a moment he met Kyp's eyes again and smiled, "I would like to be able to call you that but I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
Kyp smiled and reached across the table to grasp Stefen's arm, "Son, nothing would make me happier." At that the proximity alarm sounded as they were coming up on Ossus.
>X
Chapter 18
Nearly a week had gone by since her revelation to her family about her engagement to Zekk and her pregnancy. But the thing that circled her mind most was Luke's revelation that he knew that her son belonged to Kyp. Now, she had to figure out how to tell Zekk. She knew he would still want to marry her and, in some small way, she still wanted to go through with it, but her reasoning was selfish and foolish. She just didn't want to face her family with the awful truth, but more importantly she didn't know what she was going to tell Kyp. And every time she thought of him she thought of his revelation—he already had a son.
She wondered about what the boy would be like. She couldn't help it and she wondered if the pretty red-headed cantina owner was his mother. She knew from his age that he was born right before the Vong War, when she herself was nothing more than a girl, but that didn't seem to quail her jealousy. She wasn't really jealous of the woman, well, not a lot anyway; what she was envious of was the fact that she was now denied the privilege of presenting Kyp with his first born child.
She thought of that and nearly snorted. Up until five days ago, she didn't even know who the father of her child positively was and was willing to allow another man claim that fatherhood. That thought is what made her take the next step.
And she knew it would break her dearest friend's heart.
She walked into Serenity Garden and found Zekk sitting in a meditation pose. She stopped and just stared at him. He seemed so at peace but there was an underlining uncertainty that she wouldn't quiet get a complete read on. She crossed the garden and sat down before him, crossing her legs and taking a deep breath. She pulled the Force to her and immediately felt the calm that had eluded her for weeks. This was the right thing to do.
Zekk felt her and slowly came out of his trance. He smiled as he opened his eyes, but the smile never reached his suddenly sad eyes. He looked at her and softly stated, "I think I know why you are here."
She swallowed, nodded and looked away for a moment before bringing her gaze back to him. "Zekk, I know for certain that Kyp is my baby's father."
Now it was Zekk's turn to look away, after a moment he softly said, "I knew you'd eventually be able to tell." Then he looked back up into her deep, brandy eyes. He had actually been afraid of this encounter since the night they had told her family about them and the baby and Kyp Durron's holocomm. Zekk wryly thought that Kyp Durron did have impeccable timing that was for sure. Finally, Zekk swallowed and said, "Jaina, I know that you do not really love me. I know that you love Kyp and that is as painfully clear to me as it was when I shared your mind and knew that you loved Jag Fel. I won't lie to you. I wish you had never been able to tell who the father was. I love you and even though it may seem perverse I love that baby as if he was mine because he is a part of you." Zekk looked down at his hands which lay in his lap. He knew he was close to tears. He thought he was ready for this when it all came crashing down around him. He had never been more wrong. "I will never even know what its like to really hold you, Jaina." He looked at her, his gaze watery. "I will never know what it would be like to hold our children; children that you and I create. I will never know what it's like to have you to come home to after a hard mission and have you tell me that you missed me and that you love me." He couldn't hold the tears in any longer, they slid down his cheeks as he went on, "But I love you too much to condemn you to a life that isn't full of love, to a life where the love is only one-sided. I was a fool and selfish to even try."
Jaina reached over and cupped his face and stroked the tears away as they fell. Her own falling, her voice cracked as she said, "I did love you once, Zekk, and I still do as my dearest friend. You will never know what you mean to me. You have been here when I needed someone. You were my shoulder to cry on, you were my comfort when I was retching my insides out. I would not have survived the past several weeks without you. And I would never consider you a fool and you are definitely not selfish. If anything I owe you my life." With that she closed the distance and gently, tenderly brushed her lips against his.
Zekk pulled her into his arms, clinging to her as if he couldn't ever let her go and he licked her lips wanting to deepen the kiss. She opened her lips and allowed him access. She saw the kiss for what it was—a kiss of desperation, a kiss of loss, a kiss of goodbye. They parted but didn't move from each other's embrace. She laid her head on his shoulder and she held him as he sobbed his grief into her hair.
Finally, he pulled away and his emerald eyes glistened with tears, "Jaina, remember that I will always be here for you. I only want you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted." Then he reached down and placed his hand on her abdomen. He reached for the child that he wished could be his and instantly felt the child reach for him. But as soon as he brushed the baby's presence he pulled back out of the Force and moved his hand away from her. This was already too hard.
She took his hand and held it in hers and bent to place a gentle kiss on the back of his fingers, then she said after meeting his gaze again, "Zekk, I want you to be apart of my baby's life. You were the only father he knew since I first discovered his spark of life. It was you that insisted that he was a boy." She gave him a wan smile and went on, "I still don't know how Kyp will take all this. If I know him, he is probably still reeling from finding—uh—his other son. But I intend to tell him everything. I really wish I never made such a mess of everything then none of this would have happened. I would never have given you false hope that we could be together." She swallowed the lump in her throat and more tears fell as she continued as gently her emotion strained voice would allow, "I can't marry you, I know that now. I'm still in love with Kyp but even if he doesn't want me, he still is my baby's father. But that doesn't mean I don't want you in my son's life. Zekk, no matter how things work out in the end, I never want to lose your friendship. You mean as much to me as Kyp does."
He stared at her and squeezed the hand she was holding, "Thank you, Jaya." However, he couldn't take any more; he had to get away from her, from the pain of losing her yet again. He stood and she watched as he moved toward the gate of the garden, once there he turned, "Jaina, no matter how hurt I feel right now, I want you to know, I realize this is the right thing to do. This is what the Force wants of us and nothing can change that. I only wish things could have been different but I know they never will." With that he turned and left, leaving Jaina feeling oddly at peace, with her self and with her choices.
Zekk would be okay, he had to be.
Just then she heard the sonic boom of a ship entering the atmosphere and the whine of reverse thrusters of an old Skipray as it slowed its decent. As it came closer she also picked up the sound of an X-wing coming in behind it. She instantly recognized the X-wing and could tell by the way it moved in the same way as the larger ship that it was slaved to the Skipray's controls. She reached out with her perception and immediately pulled back. It was him. Kyp was coming home.
She instinctively laid her hand on her belly and was amazed when she experienced what felt like flutterby wings in her center. She looked down quickly and realized she had just felt her baby move for the very first time. That realization brought a much needed smile to her face and she said quietly to him, "He's coming back to us." Then she looked up and watched the ship as it disappeared behind the buildings of the Jedi Academy and she whispered, "Oh Force, please let this all work out." She took a deep breath, stood up, dusted the backside of her jumpsuit off and headed toward the gate and the path that would lead to the hanger. As she exited the garden she said in a voice that was anything but confident, "Let's go and meet your daddy."
>X
Chapter 19
Kyp looked out the viewport and scanned the hanger for any sign of her as he brought the Skipray down onto its landing struts. He had sensed her briefly brush him with her Force presence as they were angling in for landing. Although, the touch was tentative and brief, he felt her raging emotions and wondered what was going on.
Stefen noticing Kyp's look around the hanger and sensing his disquiet, softly stated, "She's not here, is she?" Then Kyp turned to meet his eyes. Kyp then quickly started the shutdown procedure for the Skipray and for the slaved X-wing.
After looking back out the viewport hoping and dreading the prospect of possibly seeing Jaina again, Kyp gave him a small smile and shook his head once, but he quickly looked away and nodded towards the two men walking towards the ship, "No. But there are some people who I think you'd enjoy meeting."
Kyp watched as Stefen, who was sitting in the co-pilot's chair, looked out the viewport and saw his eyes grew wide with disbelief. He then turned back to Kyp and asked, excitement in his voice making it sound slightly higher in pitch, "Is that Luke Skywalker and Han Solo?"
Kyp couldn't help but chuckle, "Yep." Then he looked out where his friends gathered to greet him and to no doubt welcome him and his son home. Home. He thought about that and had to admit he was home. The Jedi, whether here or at the Temple on Coruscant, where he had lived for the past year and a half, was his home. He sighed as he watched Leia and Mara join their husbands and another thought entered his mind—even with all of their disagreements over the years, the Solos and the Skywalkers were the closest thing to family he had since he was a boy.
Then he looked back at Stefen and thought, Until now. He was still watching out the viewport, looking at the galaxy's biggest heroes and Kyp chuckled again and said, "You know, most people think that Master Skywalker taller in real life."
Stefen turned his awestruck attention back to Kyp and snickered, "I could have said the same thing about you."
Kyp who was undoing his crash harness let out a snort and reached over to ruffle the boy's hair. "Hey! Be nice to your old man."
Stefen ducked away and laughed as he quickly undid his harness and slipped off the chair from the other side.
Kyp finally caught him as he tried to dash passed him and wrapped him in a Wookie hug from behind. "Let me go!" the fourteen year-old boy giggled like a child half his age and tried to flail his way out of his father's strong grasp.
Kyp laughed as he tickled Stefen. "Say that you take it back," Kyp commanded between deep laughter.
Stefen, laughing and still trying to get away from Kyp's playful torture finally relented breathlessly, "Okay—Okay. I take it back."
"That's better. And here I thought you had respect for your elders." Kyp let him go but still kept his arm around the boy as he steered him out of the cockpit. After a moment of allowing himself a chance to catch his breath, he turned serious, "Stefen, I want you to know that no matter what happens between—" he swallowed and then changed tact, "—no matter what happens, know that—that—" Kyp stopped walking and looked at Stefen, he was finding it hard to say the next words, not because he didn't feel them. No, the good-humored boy had stolen his heart the moment he first saw him—but rather, because it seemed so alien to him to be saying these words. And because the last time he said them they weren't reciprocated, which only served to make him even more leery. It was hard enough when Jaina didn't say them back but he really didn't know if his heart could take it if his son didn't. However, Kyp wanted Stefen to know, that no matter what happened after they stepped off this ship, that he was there for him. Finally, he swallowed again and hoarsely said, "—that I love you, son, and that I am glad to have you finally in my life."
Stefen stared at his father. He had known that his father was the infamous Jedi Master Kyp Durron since his mother had told him about Kyp at the age of four or five. He had spun all kinds of tales about the man who fathered him and he had imagined being with that man on countless adventures. The past two weeks had been almost magical to the boy and he had never expected to hear these words from the man he had idolized for most of his life. No, Kyp wasn't everything that he had imagined but he never expected him to be, but Kyp hadn't disappointed him either. Stefen swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and he felt his eyes sting with tears. It had been wonderful just have the Jedi Master allow him to address him as "Dad", but this was almost too much for him. Finally, Stefen said, his still changing voice cracking with emotion, "Dad, I love you too. These past two weeks have been a dream come true."
Kyp enveloped him in a hug and both father and son let the first unabashed tears fall. After a moment, Kyp pulled back and held Stefen at arms length, "It has been for me too." Then he let him go and wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his robe, sniffing and forcing a chuckle he said, "Let's go and meet your heroes."
Stefen could only nod. He had never been happier.
X
Kyp and Stefen exited the ship and came to stand before the four people who had come to greet them. Kyp rubbed his jaw nervously and ran his hand through his hair as he watched Han Solo's expression change to one of surprise. The Jedi in the group hid their surprise behind impassive faces, but Kyp could feel their shock as they too watched father and son come to a stop in front of them.
Not surprising, it was Han who spoke first, "Sith spit, Kid, he looks just like you."
Kyp smiled at him and said in response, "Yeah, I guess he does." Then he looked at Stefen and grinned, the boy was staring at Luke. He put his arm around Stefen's slender shoulders and announced with the pride of a loving father, "This is my son Stefen Boaden, Stef, this is Han Solo, Master Luke Skywalker, Master Mara Skywalker and Princess Leia Organa Solo," as he introduced each Stefen looked from one to the other, his awe growing.
Leia came forward and held out her hand, Stefen tentatively took it and she said with a genuine smile, "It is so nice to meet you, Stefen. I hope that you feel at home here on Ossus."
Stefen letting go of her hand regained some of his composure and smiled, "Ahh—Thanks, Princess, I'm sure I will."
Luke was next; he took the boy's hand and said in an almost lulling voice, "I'm glad that you chose to come to the Academy, Stefen. We will do our utmost to make it a smooth transition."
Stefen stared at the Grand Master of the Jedi, the other man besides his father he had emulated since he was a boy. Stefen swallowed hard and bowed his head and said quietly, "I'm so glad to finally meet you, Master Skywalker."
Mara laughed and looked straight at Kyp and he felt his gut twist because he knew that she recognized Stefen's almost idol worship of Luke. Of course, he also knew she would have loved to rub that in but instead she showed enough tact to say instead, "At least he didn't inherit your lack of manners, Durron."
Kyp smirked, "You can thank his mother for that."
The four of them continued to get acquainted with Stefen, asking him questions about Tatooine, his life there, about his trip to Ossus and other things that Kyp lost track of. As that was going on Kyp continued to be on the lookout for Jaina, he thought he had felt her presence again. But as he looked around the hanger, he didn't see her; instead, he caught sight of Corran Horn headed straight for them. Kyp groaned and quietly said to Stefen who just finished telling them about his uncle Jon and the cantina that he grow up in, "Remember when I told you that not everyone likes me."
Stefen looked at Kyp and nodded.
"Well, here comes one of those people."
Corran who was being shadowed by his latest Apprentice, stopped short when he came close enough to spot Stefen. He peered between Stefen and Kyp with open mouth and eyes wide. Not a very becoming expression for a Jedi Master, Kyp thought and snickered, "Corran, I'd like you to meet my son, Stefen Boaden. Stefen, this is Master Corran Horn and his daughter and Apprentice, Jysella."
Stefen looked at the master, bowed his head and shook his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Master Horn."
"It's good to meet you too. Are you going to attend the Academy?" Corran asked, his voice not indicating the surprise Kyp felt coming through the older Master's shields.
"Yes," Stefen said simply, then he turned his attention to the girl standing slightly behind her father. Stefen finally getting his emotions under control from meeting some of the most famous people in the galaxy stared at the black-haired, grey-eyed girl and felt himself become awestruck again. She was the prettiest girl he had ever seen.
Jysella sensing his emotions, smiled shyly and blushed as she held out her hand, "It's nice to meet you,—ahhh—"
Finally, finding his voice, Stefen smiled and supplied, "Stef. And it is nice to meet you too, Jysella."
Kyp couldn't help but grin as he saw Corran's usually very composed and very straight-forward daughter blush for the second time. Then suddenly he realized Stefen was just as awestruck by Jysella Horn as he had been by Luke Skywalker. Oh, Sith, this can't be good, he groaned inwardly.
Corran sensing the same thing stared hard at Stefen and said to Kyp, "So. Kyp, where have you been hiding him all these years? I never expected you to be the family man."
Kyp flashed a cocky grin and replied, "Tatooine. His mother and I are good friends and were even better friends before the Vong War."
Corran glancing back to Stefen who was asking Jysella about the Academy, and Jysella smiling and blushing in ways he hadn't ever seen her do before, suddenly glared at Kyp and said sharply to Jysella, "Come on, Jys." Turning to an increasingly bemused Luke, who along with the rest was watching the interaction between the fourteen-year-olds, "Master Skywalker, I was hoping to speak with you but I didn't realize you were busy. I will catch you later." With that he turned and gave Stefen one more glare that the boy didn't see and headed in the direction that he and Jysella had come.
Jysella, looking at her dad and then back to Stefen, said, "Hey, it was great to meet you. I hope to see you around." With that she turned to follow her father but as they turned a corner around one of the other ships in the hanger, she turned and flashed Stefen one of her trademark Terrick smiles and waved. Stefen blushed an incredible shade of red.
Han Solo out-right laughed and slapped an increasingly bewildered Kyp on the shoulder, "Welcome to parenting, Kid. Trust me it doesn't get any easier. I should know, Jaina just informed us last week that she was not only getting married but was also pregnant. And Jacen…"
Kyp stared the man and never heard the rest of the comment. Luke had looked sharply at Han as he was talking. Finally, noticing Luke's hard stare and Kyp's stunned and pained expression let the comment die and asked indignantly, "Hey! Now what did I say?"
>X
Chapter 20
Jaina watched from the shadows as her parents, aunt and uncle greeted Kyp and a boy, who looked so much like Kyp, except for his lighter hair, it almost hurt. She reached out and brushed against Kyp's presence but she quickly pulled back. Just as she was about to step out, Corran and Jysella Horn joined them. She decided to stay hidden not wanting to face the Horns as well as her family and Kyp. She watched as the Horns moved away and as they disappeared from the group's view, she felt a strong surge for surprise through the Force from Kyp.
Suddenly, she felt her heart sink as she realized someone must have told Kyp about her engagement—the engagement that she had just broken. That realization finally forced her to move from her hiding place.
Kyp was staring at Han trying desperately not to let any of the pain and anger leak out from his shields. He knew from the look on Mara and Leia's faces that they had felt his astonishment, but not surprising Luke's face still remained virtually impassive expect for a trace of irritation that was directed to Han. Kyp instantly wandered what was going on. Then he felt Jaina approaching them and looked out past her parents to see her coming towards them. His heart ached when he saw her. She was as beautiful as he remembered but there was a glow about her that was new. And as he realized that it was probably due to her pregnancy he felt not just pain but anger too.
She came to a stop beside her mother and Kyp stared at her. After a moment of growing tenseness Kyp swallowed his feelings and in a dry tone he simply said, "Jaina."
She searched his features for some sign that could clue her in on his feelings, but just as she was getting from the Force, she wasn't able to tell a thing. His shields were iron-tight and his face completely impassive, expressionless. But his eyes were dark with a storm that she couldn't fathom, not the love she had so often thought she saw in their green depths. She swallowed but before she could form any words of her own greeting he went on to say in the same dry tone, "I guess congratulations are in order for you. I'm assuming Zekk is the lucky man." He looked around as if he were searching for the other man.
She stole a glance at her more than slightly confused and concerned family then she turned her attention on the lanky boy standing beside Kyp. She really didn't want to discuss her business with Kyp in front of the rest of her family or even out in the open like this; so, instead she changed the subject with out acknowledging or refuting Kyp's assumption. She forced a smile and asked, "This is your son?"
Kyp nodded and put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "Yes. This is Stefen. Stef, Knight Solo."
Jaina looked from Kyp to Stefen and held out her hand which he promptly took and gave it a strong grasp and a shake. She forced a broader smile and said, "It's Jaina. And I'm pleased to meet you, Stefen. I hope that we can become good friends."
Stefen returned her smile and replied, "I hope that we are too." Stef looked up at his father and saw him nearly glare at Jaina. He looked back at her and she was staring back at Kyp. Stef wondered what was going on and just what happened between them. But Stef wasn't naïve about such things either; he could tell that whatever happened between them they had been hurt—deeply. He remembered the dream he had overheard from Kyp's cabin and the conversation just an hour or so ago about Jaina. He knew his father deeply loved this woman, but if what her father said was true, she was going to marry someone else and was pregnant too. He suddenly wasn't sure what he felt for the pretty, dark haired and brown-eyed woman.
Suddenly, Luke announced, "I think we should all let Kyp get settled. Stefen, why don't you come with Master Mara and me so we can show you around? Your father," Luke spared a glance at Kyp then to Jaina, "can find some quarters for you both and catch up with us later."
Stefen looked up at Kyp but didn't give him the chance to answer before turning back to Luke and saying joyfully, "That would be astral." Then he turned back to Kyp and hopefully inquired, "Dad?"
Kyp looked down at Stefen and smiled, "Sure. I'll find you later."
Jaina's throat tightened suddenly, caused when Stefen addressed Kyp and it only worsened when she saw the love in Kyp's expression towards the boy. She instantly wondered if Kyp would ever feel that way about her baby.
Luke, Mara and Stefen began to move away with Mara telling Stef about Ben, when Luke turned and looked back at Han and Leia who were both watching Kyp and Jaina very closely. Han was peering at them with narrowed, suspicious eyes; while Leia stared at Jaina with something akin to shock in her expression. Luke cleared his throat and said to them, "Han, Leia, didn't Master Katarn need you for something?"
Han said in a tone he used when he wasn't buying something, "Yeah." Then he put his arm around Leia's shoulders and as he spared one more glance at Kyp and Jaina he repeated, "Yeah. Let's go, Princess. Kyp, we'll see you around."
Suddenly, Jaina and Kyp were all alone. Kyp turned and simply headed back up the ramp of the Skipray. He wasn't sure if he wanted her to follow him or not. He reached the top when her voice stopped him.
"They don't know yet, but I'm not marrying Zekk. I broke our engagement."
He nodded once, a simple acknowledgement, and entered the ship. She followed him into the small common room of the ship. Finally, he rationalized his voice tight, "Things didn't work out between you and Fel; so, you came here and found comfort with Zekk."
Jaina shook her head even though he couldn't see her due to his back being to her. She took a deep breath, "No."
"Then what happened?" His words were said harshly and were laced with pain, "You didn't come here to be with Zekk. You're pregnant, aren't you? And since you and Zekk are or were engaged I assume the baby is his."
Jaina wasn't necessarily surprised that he knew that she was pregnant. She figured either her parents had told him or he sensed the child. But regardless he obviously didn't know that the child was his.
"Kyp, please look at me," she quietly commanded. Once he turned his hard, stormy green eyes to her she sat down on one of the built-in couches. Then she added, "Now, please sit down. We need to talk."
Kyp stared at her for a long moment but made no motion to follow her last command. Then he let out a bitter snort, "I don't have anything to say to you, Jaina."
His resentful, nearly hateful tone cut her like a knife going through blue butter. She actually winced at the pain it caused in her heart. She forced herself to stay calm and swallowed the tears that were threatening to fall. "Kyp, you're wrong. I'm not marrying Zekk because I don't love him. And he isn't the father of my baby. He offered support when I needed it—when I didn't know for certain who the father was," she added barely above a whisper.
Kyp froze and stared at Jaina as she quickly elaborated, her voice stronger but not any less emotional, "You were right, Kyp. I did end up sleeping with Jag. But he isn't the man that I fell in love with. He became hard, twisted and the man I loved is dead. Killed by my betrayal and by the pain of his injuries."
Kyp felt his heart race. He tentatively reached out in to the Force and found the life growing within Jaina. The baby instantly reached for him—strongly. Kyp nearly yanked himself away from the presence until he sensed something incredibly familiar with it. He probed deeper and the moment he realized what it was he did yank himself away from the baby. He instantly stared at Jaina utterly stunned.
Realizing what he had recognized within the child, she stood up and stepped over to stand before him. Then she weakly smiled and nodded, "Yes. You are the father."
"You were going to give my child to another man?"
Kyp's deadly calm question hit her with such force she actually gasped and stepped back. "Please, Kyp, it wasn't like that. I didn't know that you were the father until a week ago. I was afraid that if he belonged to Jag, Jag would come—he'd come and take my baby away." She sobbed, her tears running down her cheeks, her words springing forth in a rush as she gazed into the disbelieving and pained eyes. "Kyp, I was afraid that you'd never come back. I tried and tried but I couldn't find you. You were hiding from me. Didn't you realize that I needed you? That I wasn't with Jag?"
"I knew," he turned from her again; he couldn't stand to look at her any longer. Then he went on, "I also surmised that you came here to be with Zekk after I felt him reaching out for me. I hid from you so that I could forget you."
Within all the pain, Jaina began to feel anger as the image of the red-headed cantina owner came flickering into her mind, "You mean so you could be with your lover."
Kyp whirled on her so fast his cloak whipped around, "Oh, no, you don't. Don't you bring Sari or Stefen into this. I will admit I went to Tatooine with hopes that I might be able to learn to feel again." He stepped closer to her, predatory, with his teeth bared, "You have no idea how much you hurt me, do you? I loved you, Jaina. I loved you for your entire adult life. All I ever wanted was to have you love me back."
"But I do," she announced, her words barely above a whisper. "I love you, Kyp. I don't know when I fell in love with you, but sometime over the past year I did. I was wrong about Jag. I loved his memory. I won't lie to you. I loved him. But that love is gone. And in its place I found a deep and true love for you."
He peered at her disbelieving what she was telling him. He had wanted to here those words spoken by her for too many years, but now that they were said they fell flat. He swallowed hard and said, his tone as hard as his eyes, "Jaina, I'm not sure what I feel for you any more. You hurt me so badly over the years, but when you thought so little of me and ran to Jag, that was the worst. I'm not even sure I will ever be able to forgive you for that." He looked away, he felt his eyes sting with the tears he was holding in; he wouldn't cry in front of her. Then he continued, "I will accept responsibility for the baby and I will," he deliberately looked at her with determination as he went on, "be everything he will need in a father. But, Jaina, right now that is all I can give you."
He began to move away and Jaina sobbed, "Kyp, please—Please, I love you! I know that I have made a mess of my life, your life, our baby's life, even Jag's and Zekk's lives, but I am truly sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I love you so much, Kyp." Kyp stopped at the hatch momentarily but he did not turn around. Jaina could feel his pain through her own and fell to her knees sobbing, "I love you," over and over as he exited the ship.
He made it about half way down the ramp before he let out a low growl and his own tears begin to fall as the force of his pain of love for her hit him.
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