I just watched some of the episodes with Rebecca in them again and they just really upset me. I still can't believe the way he acted. These are some of thoughts I think that should have been going on in his head when he got the bus home after the crash. Next chapter will be based on Kirsten, anh how it takes her along tome to forgive, Carter in my eyes will never happen!
What had he done? He thought to himself. How could he have let a woman who abandoned him twenty years ago come between himself and Kirsten? – the true love of his life. He had just acted so out of character these past few weeks, not valuing Kirstin's trust. It killed him to hear the upset tone of her voice on the telephone and see the deep hurt in her crystal blue eyes. He had always promised himself he would never hurt her, she didn't deserve it. How was that it took him this long to figure it out? He had kissed another woman other then his beautiful perfect wife. He felt sick thinking about it. It felt like the bus journey was taking forever to reach its destination. Thoughts and fears were swarming round his head. Would she forgive him? Was it too late for him to declare his undying love for her? What would he do with out her?
What had made him act the way he did? It was just seeing Rebecca after all this time. It threw him a bit, it didn't feeling like twenty years had passed. Why didn't he figure out then that she was clearly back to see if they could get back together? Why didn't he tell Kirsten the truth in the first place? He would never forget the desperation and disappointment he heard in her voice when she told him she had discovered Rebecca in his office. Even then she had been willing to forgive, give him another chance to celebrate her favourite holiday. Of course after she going to so much bother, booking the restaurant, getting all glammed up for him he hadn't even commented on how radiant she looked, he had left her, promising to be right back. Did he return to bring her out, show her that he loved her more then anything else? No he had taken advantage of that love, presuming she would understand. He had gone too far and for the first in the history of their marriage she had closed the bedroom door in his face. He would never forget the sorrow etched on that porcelain face of hers, the unique features it possessed looking hauntingly beautiful. He had let her down again. How was it possible to hurt the person who loves you most so easily? ...
