"Its third gift is the light itself: as days are defined by the nights that divide them, as stars are defined by the infinite black through which they wheel, the dark embraces the light, and brings it forth from the center of its own self. With each victory of the light, it is the darkness that wins." Revenge of the Sith by Matthew Stover


Chapter 4: "But I am Married"

Nightmares and dark premonitions had haunted Anakin's dreams for so many years that he almost couldn't remember what it felt like to wake up without shaking and feeling intense dread. This night, for once, he had woken up and had been blissfully relieved of the overwhelming darkness. No dreams of death and emptiness filled the corners of his troubled mind; instead, he saw hope and light.

Rolling onto his back, Anakin laid there with his eyes open as he stared at the ceiling. No one could possibly have understood the way he felt- how refreshing it was to be able to wake up and live in fear of what the future might have in store for him.

Slowly, his mind turned to night he had last felt such peace.

Being a Jedi left Anakin little time for doing the things he enjoyed, but with the late hour and Obi-Wan being sound asleep in the other room, Anakin had pulled out the book he had been attempting to read for the past year and sat down on the couch. When he was only five minutes into it and barely remembering the contents, there was a slight knocking at the door. Looking up from the book, Anakin glanced in puzzlement at the chrono.

Who could be knocking at the door at such an hour? he thought as he marked his page and placed it on the nearby table before slowly going over to the door.

To both his great surprise and horror, he found a young handmaiden standing before him, her identity concealed by the traditional garb Padmé requested her handmaidens wear. Startled, he looked up and down the corridor to see if anyone was watching and, upon seeing no one, turned his attention back to the silent young woman.

"What are you doing here?" Anakin whispered, wondering why his wife had done something as risky as sending one of her handmaidens into the depths of the Jedi Temple. Padmé and Anakin had promised each other to never reveal their secret unless there was an emergency…

How did the handmaiden know to come to him in a desperate time?

"M… Master Skywalker," she trembled and, in lifting her face, he saw tear-filled eyes that belonged to Dormé gazing up at him.

"Is something wrong?" he asked as he helped the stumbling handmaiden into the apartment. Had the situation not been so serious, he might have considered the irony of it all, but as it was, he barely managed to get Dormé to the couch before she collapsed. He only hoped that Obi-Wan would not awaken.

"I… I had to come get you," she blurted out, clutching onto him as she struggled to catch her breath. Her long nails dug into his upper arm but Anakin did not notice. By the film of sweat on her pretty face, it was evident that she had run all the way to him. "Padmé…"

"Is she alright?" Anakin gasped, holding her away from him and peering into her face like he could somehow read her mind through it. Rolling off of her like waves were intense fear and apprehension, something that did nothing to calm Anakin in the slightest. Fear, something that a Jedi should not know, gripped him in a death-like hold. "Dormé, is Padmé alright?" he asked frantically, not caring about the informal way he spoke of the Senator.

Tears ran down Dormé's face as her body convulsed with sobs.

"Dormé!" he cried out, not caring if was overheard. He restrained himself from shaking the handmaiden- doing so would not help him any.

This was wasting time- was his Padmé dying or hurt? Would this woman's incoherency cost him the last moments he might have with his love? Memories of his mother's death filled him with anguish.

"She… needs… you," the handmaiden cried, pressing her hooded head into his broad shoulder. "The baby needs you…"

Baby?

"What baby?" Anakin asked with a sharp intake of breath. His hands fell motionless to his side as he gaped at the woman.

"Your baby," Dormé whispered, her big brown eyes looking deep into his.

"I..." he stammered.

The one week leave at the villa.

"What is wrong with her?" Anakin asked, grabbing her shoulders again.

"The baby is turned around and can't be born," Dormé confessed, hanging her head. "She's been in labor for the past ten hours."

"Why did you not go get help?" Anakin asked angrily.

"She would not let us," Dormé said shakily. "You both would be caught. I came to find you because… because I knew you could help… even if it is to comfort her." Another sob took her. "I don't think they're going to make it."

In a moment, Anakin had learned that he was about to become a father, but in the next he had been forced the hard reality that the child he had never known and the woman he loved were in grave danger. He felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him.

"I will go to her," Anakin said, not caring if they were caught. Without saying anything more, he dragged the handmaiden out of the Temple and was soon speeding through Coruscant as fast as he could go.

What if he did not make it in time? What if he failed his wife and child like he did his mother?

One question filled his mind. "How did you know?" he asked shakily, a tear running down his face.

"I didn't," Dormé said quietly, her eyes unblinking as she stared at the traffic before them. "She was in such great pain and kept calling out, "I need him." She shook her head sadly. "I did not know who she meant, but as you both are so close, I thought at least you could give her comfort." Looking up at him with haunted eyes, she said in a trembling voice, "You were the father… I should have gotten you sooner- it will all be my fault if…"

"I will not let anything happen to either of them," Anakin promised as he came to a stop before Padmé's apartments. "I will not." Hurriedly, he ran onto the landing strip and into the penthouse, Dormé struggling to keep up with him. Through the sitting room he ran, but he only came to a stop when he reached the door to Padmé's bedroom.

Lying on the bed, covered in sweat and unmoving was Padmé. Her pretty face which had once glowed with love for him was now deathly pale as she laid there with her eyes closed. The tendrils of her hair were matted against her face and Anakin knew she was breathing only by the slight rising and falling of her large belly which protruded from her still form. One of her small hands rested on her stomach while the other lay limply on her side.

"Padmé," Anakin breathed.

Jedi were to not know fear, but Anakin had felt it many times in his life. He had feared never seeing his mother again, and his dread had come true when she had died in his arms a few years earlier. That fear had overwhelmed him and Anakin had massacred the Tuskan Raiders. His anger had been great, but, as Anakin stood there, he knew that the fear he had experienced then was merely a shadow as to what consumed him now. Anakin Skywalker, Hero With No Fear, was no more brave than the little boy that had left his family behind on Tatooine.

He was afraid and that scared him.

Huddled around the Senator were two of her handmaidens. Upon seeing him, they looked up with frightened expressions, but they silently moved away.

With a sinking feeling in his heart, Anakin sat down on the bed and gently brushed Padmé's pale cheek.

Instantly, her brown eyes fluttered open. "Anakin?" she whispered, seeming to be confused. Slowly, her eyes came into focus and she blinked. The one hand on her stomach gently rubbed the curve though it was evident that she was struggling to do so.

Sadly smiling, Anakin brushed the hair away from her damp face. "I'm here, Angel," he said softly, his eyes traveling down the length of her body to where the swell of their child rested. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I… I…" she began but was unable to continue. A tear rolled down her face. "Anakin, bury our baby and me in the garden at the villa and someday, when you… are one with the Force," she said with a heart-wrenching sob, "I want you by my side. Together."

"You're not going to die," he said slowly. Carefully, he entertained his hand through hers and rested it on top of her stomach.

"Anakin…" Padmé said in an exhausted tone, shaking her head. "You must let go."

Those words cut through Anakin like a knife.

"I will not," he said firmly. He stood up and moved to the foot of the bed and gently helped Padmé into the proper position with her knees in the air.

"Master…" Dormé said in a warning tone, rushing to Padmé's side when the woman moaned in pain. The other handmaiden's rushed forward and either held the Senator's hand or dabbed at her face with a wet cloth.

But Anakin was not listening. Closing his eyes, he submerged himself in the Force, resting his hand back on Padmé's stomach. With a start, he realized that the strong Force signature that had nearly left him breathless was that of his child.

His son.

The little being reached out to him and Anakin could feel the uncertainty that shadowed his son's mind.

Before, Anakin had only wished to ease Padmé and the baby's suffering as they passed into the next life, but as he felt this unconditional trust, Anakin avowed to do everything within his power to save his baby and wife.

How, he knew not, but he had to do it.

A scream startled him out of his brooding, and Anakin opened his eyes to find Padmé writhing in pain. Her handmaiden's began to cry and held her hand while looking at him with such desperation.

With a determined look, Anakin submerged himself in the Force. Carefully, he eased Padmé's pain and gently coaxed the child out of the womb. It was slow and tedious and, just moments into the process, Anakin was covered in sweat. He held onto the light of the baby and used it as his guide as he did what the mother's body had been unable to.

Moments later, in his gloved and true hand, rested a squirming baby boy.

Bright blue eyes blinked up at Anakin as the baby flailed and moved his mouth. A little tongue slipped out and made Anakin gasp in amazement. Tiny fingers which were smaller than one digit of Anakin's pinky clenched and unclenched. Thin blond hair was matted against the baby's head and, after removing the contents of the baby's mouth, a cry filled the room.

Tiny. That was the only word that came to Anakin's mind. Precious.

Had he ever been that small? The probability of that seemed unlikely though Anakin knew it had to have been.

His son.

A gift of the Force.

"Anakin?" Padmé whispered from the other end of the bed where she laid panting. Anakin looked up with a startled look before slowly moving to sit down next to her. A handmaiden brought him a blue blanket which Anakin carefully wrapped around the baby.

Too tired to even lift a finger to touch the tiny fist that had escaped the swaddling, Padmé lovingly gazed at her baby. "Luke…" she whispered as the baby began to fuss. "Our son…"
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"So, this is where you've been hiding," Sabé said with a big grin, giving the apartment an appreciative look before striding over to Padmé.

Reflexively, Padmé readjusted her robe and slightly backed away from her advancing friend.

"What are you two doing here?" Padmé gasped. When both Sola and Sabé continued to grin at her, Padmé threw an accusing look at her three rather quiet handmaidens. The two older ones simultaneously pointed at Ellé who squeaked in protest.

"Mi'Lady, I was just looking out for you," Ellé insisted.

If only she knew what trouble this was going to cause. It was hard enough to hide her almost obvious pregnancy, but with a snoopy sister and best friend on the loose, disaster was waiting to happen…

"I invited myself!" Sabé announced. "I couldn't let Sola come here alone- she wouldn't be able to get you to snap out of it without some backup."

"How are you doing, little sister?" Sola asked warmly. Before Padmé could get away, she found herself being enveloped by the older woman.

Suddenly, Sola pulled away and frowned. Without looking at her, Padmé could already tell what the matter was.

Sola knew.

"Padmé," she whispered breathlessly, her wide orbs staring at Padmé in shock. "When did this happen?" One of her hands came to gently rest on Padmé's stomach which was now quite obvious. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Tell us what?" Sabé asked, perking up at the interesting conversation. Her sharp blue eyes followed the other women's gaze to Padmé's stomach and then she too gasped. "Padmé! Are you having a baby?"

"I… I…" Padmé stammered. "Yes," she finally whispered, her gaze falling to the floor.

"How? When?" Sola asked, disbelief written all over her face.

"Please, no questions," Padmé begged, pulling away and turning her back to them. Her eyes closed as she prayed for an answer. "Please."

"This is… wonderful," Sabé stammered. "It is a good thing we came then."

Though Padmé could not see it, Sola nodded eagerly. "Now we can keep an eye on you and make sure that you take care of yourself."

"I'll be alright- I don't need any help," Padmé said helplessly.

"Who is the father?" Sabé asked quietly, searching the other faces in the room for an answer.

"I… I don't want to answer that," Padmé said, tears rolling down her face. "I can't."

A silence reigned through the room. "We will respect that- all of us," Sola firmly said, giving the peeved Sabé a hard look. "Since the baby's father isn't here to help you through these difficult times, we will do everything in our power to help you, Padmé."

"I never said that he wasn't with me," Padmé said defensively, whipping around.

"You know what I mean."

"How could you create such scandal?"

Silence overtook Padmé as she contemplated the choices before her- should she lie to those closest to her or should she risk telling them the truth. "But I am married," she said in a voice barely above a whisper. "I am," she said in a much louder and firm voice. "I have been happily married for the past three years and my husband and I are the happiest couple in the Galaxy."

"Well then," Sola sighed in relief. "I am very proud of you."

"Are you sure you won't tell us who the father is?" Sabé asked even though Sola sent her a deadly look. "Just wanted to know," the woman mumbled.

"My husband…" Padmé began, licking her lips nervously. Suddenly, she remembered a conversation she had just had with Bail Organa earlier that day. "I am married to a man you all know."

"Who?" Sabé asked expectantly.

"Palo."
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Spoiler for the Next Chapter: The Scandal

"Actually... yes," Obi-Wan said, the smile leaving his face. "I just wanted to humor you before I drop the grenade."

Instantly, Anakin looked up with a worried look. Every time something like this happened, he feared that the secret had been revealed and, though it always came to naught, it frightened him. "I'll take any good news first," he said in a faltering voice.

"Um… well, there isn't any, at least, not for you…"

"Great," Anakin muttered, his gaze softening upon looking down at Luke and finding that the little boy had fallen asleep in his father's arms.

"They just made a most interesting announcement on the holonet," Obi-Wan said thoughtfully, stroking his beard. While he did so, he carefully watched Anakin, but the young man didn't even blink. He just sat there brushing his gloved finger over Luke's fist. "Senator Amidala has just announced that she has been married for the past three years."

This time, Anakin knew that there was no way that he could possibly conceal the paleness of his face and the way his hands shook. Had Luke not sighed at that moment and reminded Anakin of his presence, Anakin surely would have dropped him.

"What?" he gasped hoarsely, not caring any more whether Obi-Wan suspected.

It was over.

Padmé would be taken with him and Luke, innocent Luke, would be forbidden from ever seeing his father again.

Because of his sins.

"I know this is a shock for you. You have tried to hide your feelings for her, Anakin, but anyone can tell how much you feel for her," Obi-Wan said gently. "Our Order forbids attachment, but you have allowed yourself to be led astray."

"Obi-Wan…"

"So, it shall be a relief to know that she is out of your grasp," the older man said in conclusion. "I don't think even you would have the gall to chase after a married woman."