I Found You (Sincerely, Connor Murphy)
PaleNoFace

Summary:
Connor keeps receiving weird notes in his locker.


Dear Connor Murphy,

Today is gonna be a great day because you're gonna be happy you'll see your friends no one will mess with you, and that's enough.

Sincerely, Me.

Connor crumbled the note in his hand. Who the hell thought it was funny to leave this stupid message in his locker, first day of senior year ? He felt like punching someone right now. Preferably the author of the freaky note. Instead, he just stomped away to the closest trash can and dropped the piece of paper like he would have dropped a mic.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Today will be okay, and here's why : you are still alive you are still breathing you are at school today too, and it's a good thing.

Sincerely, Me.

Again with this fucking note ?! Connor frowned and crumbled it like the day before, throwing it in the trashcan with maybe more strengh than necessary. Whoever was fucking with him was such a psycho, that was for sure. Who in their right mind would leave him stupid messages ?

Dear Connor Murphy,

Today is gonna be good great, because you haven't yelled at Zoe yet. It's not much, but it's all you need.

Sincerely, Me.

That was so, so fucked up. Connor whipped his head right and left, wishing that maybe the freak was still around. But no one was paying attention at him. Was he crazy ? Was he imaginating all of this ? Once again, he reduced the small paper to a tiny compact ball, but insted of throwing it, he shoved it in his pocket. As an evidence, he later assured himself.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Today might no be a great day, but it's okay. It's alright to feel down.

Sincerely, Me.

Connor huffed in annoyance. Whoever was writing these notes obviously knew about his burst of anger from the morning. Everybody knew, really, because the students couldn't mind their own fucking business. He fold the paper in four and put it with the one in his pocket. More evidence.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Sometimes the best way to get through tough times is to sit tight and wait. Think of it like a game : if you're alive, you've won.

Sincerely, Me.

How did they even know ? It wasn't like it was clear on his face that he was having a hard time recently. Maybe it was someone who knew him enough to tell he was about to break. He dug in his memory, but no one popped up. No one knew him well enough. No one knew him, really.

Dear Connor Murphy

Did you know that there is an empty class on the third floor, between lunch break and two PM ? Because I sure didn't.

Sincerely, Me.

Aside from the everlasting "Sincerely, Me", it was the first time the author mentionned themselves, Connor realized as he put the paper in safety in a folder. Not that he bought a folder just for these stupid notes ! ...Okay, maybe he did. But it was a nice one, smooth and black, where he wrote "DCM" in silver. It was to collect evidences, of course.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Purple looks great on you ! You should wear color more often, just saying. Also, I really hope you have a good day.

Sincerely, Me.

Connor smirked. So the mysterious person was in one of his afternoon classes, since he only wore his purple hoodie since the lunch. He knew it. It was still eighty-eight people to eliminate from the potential suspects. Well, he had an entire year before him. Challenge accepted.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Sometimes people are dicks. Don't let them ruin everything you made so far, they don't deserve it. Please stay safe.

Sincerely, worried Me.

Dammit. They knew he had been crying behind the school. Who the fuck was that creep that had eyes everywhere ? It wasn't even amusing Connor anymore, it was just scary at this point. He gulped and put away the paper. Then he took it back, suddently aware that the last line, that he didn't read anymore, was abnormally long. Oh. So they were "worried" now. That was new. Someone was actually worrying for him. It was maybe not genuine, but it was still somewhat pleasant to read. It made something weird in Connor's chest.

Dear Connor Murphy,

What are your thoughts on dragons ? I think they're pretty cool.

Sincerely, Me.

Well wasn't that random. But dragons were, indeed, pretty cool, so he wrote on the back of the paper and taped it on his locker door. He didn't care if people passing in the hallway would wonder why the fuck there was a note saying "dragons ARE cool, fight me on this" sticked on his locker.

Dear Connor Murphy,

I'm glad we're on the same page about dragons. Are you into mythology ?

Sincerely, Me.

A mythology nerd ? Could only been someone from his advanced history of litterature classes. From eighty-four, the countdown dropped to forty-six. His investigation was back on track.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Are you looking for me ? You spent a lot of time staring at people for someone supposed to be asleep. You should stop, you'd be disappointed.

Sincerely, Me.

Ohoh, was the author panicking ? If the shaky handwriting was anything to go by, it was a yes. Connor almost slapped himself; The handwriting ! He was such a moron, he could compare it with his classmates' and at least take out most of them. He was on the right track.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Happy new year ! Yeah, it feels weird when we're already the seventh, right ? I don't care, because it's a milestone. Five months already in senior year. And you know what ? You're still alive. Congratulations.

Proudly, Me.

Despite himself, Connor smiled. He didn't want to find it sweet, it was supposed to be creepy ! A freaky, anonymous watcher... making sure he wouldn't give up, and that slipped letters in his locker for... five months, now... It was actually inbelievable. He never thought he would make it so far. Yeah, okay, maybe the author could legitimately be proud of him. He could be proud of himself.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Is it weird to say that I love your smile ? I'm glad to see you're happy today. Nice shirt, by the way. The raibow suits you well.

Sincerely, Me.

It was weird, Connor wouldn't lie. Still, he couldn't help but smile at the idea that someone looked carefully enough to spot the tiny pride flag sewed on his chest. The paper ended neatly in the folder with the others. Inside, glued to the flap, a list of fourteen names. Slowly but surely, he was reaching his goal.

Dear Connor Murphy,

You should give up. The research, I mean, not in gener I'm boring, you'll just be disappointed. Please give me this, at least ? I like the idea of being mysterious.

Mysteriously, Me.

Too late, author, way too late. Connor was too deep in this to give up now. He knew he couldn't be disappointed in someone that managed to keep him alive for seven months. Not when it was these tiny messages that pulled him out of his lethargy. Not when the author cared enough to the point of wanting to keep him from being disappointed.

Dear Connor Murphy,

I see you still don't give up. Well. Since I can't physically fight you (first because I'm not built for that, and second because you'll know who I am) I'll just hide make your task a little more difficult. Let's see if you still win.

Sincerely, Me.

The note was two days old. Since, Connor checked four times, even looked under the whole row of lockersto see if any paper would have slipped. But no. Two days, and no notes. Was the author alright ? Were they playing with him ? He glanced at his open folder, at the notes classified neatly, and the list. Seven names. He could make it. He would make it.

Dear Connor Murphy,

I've just been told that exams were postponed to next week. Am I the only one being anxious about it ? I'm freaking out. Hope you're okay.

Sincerely, Me.

Yeah, Connor was stressed. He was nervous, pissed, was losing sleep, mind and nerves over his damn revisions. He never worked so hard, as far as he could recall. It was the first time he was actually motivated to success. Two months, four names. He was running out of time.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Sometimes when I look at you I wonder how people can be so blind about your potential. You could be a good friend, if they stopped listening to stupid rumors for a second and truly looked at you. I think that I d Sorry, I'm making it weird again.

Sincerely, Me.

It was driving Connor nuts, not knowing who was behind these words. He wanted to know. Meet that person for real. Talk about dragons, literature, superheroes movies and trees. Thank them. It was frustrating at least. Three names. One month, two weeks. The author was playing with the time.

Dear Connor Murphy,

You know what I miss right now ? Ice cream. I would kill for an ice cream, and the worst part of it is that I'm not even joking. It's too hot in my classroom.

Sincerely, Me.

Two names. Connor just had to find one clue, one little thing that could give the anonymous author a singular characteristic. He could do it. He knew he could do it.

Dear Evan Hansen,

I found you.

Sincerely, Connor Murphy.

Evan grinned and turned around. Standing behind him, Connor had a similar, sheepish smile on his face. They looked at each other in silence for a moment. Evan wondered if Connor's eyes had always been that lively. Connor wondered if Evan's lips had always been that pink.

"I know a place that makes good ice cream. Wanna tag along ?"