Thanks again for all of the wonderful reviews! Not much more to say . . .

Disclaimer: Okay. I confess. I don't own LotR or the title or The Wizard of Oz. Hmph.


Much Ado About Nothing

Mandy's PoV

"I am so gonna kill you for this, Aragorn!" I screamed as he stole my blanket again. Legolas immediately ran to retrieve it as Kelsey leapt to Aragorn's defense.

"You can't kill him! That'd be treason!"

"He isn't my king!"

"Regicide then!"

"He's no king. Gondor hasn't accepted him yet – and he doesn't have his stupid scepter," Nicole drawled – I'd have to remember to give her cookies.

"It'd still be regicide because he is technically a king! Even though Gondor hasn't accepted him yet, he is rightfully the king. A direct descendent from Isildur! Therefore, he is king!" Kelsey protested. "He will be king, and if you kill him, I will personally prosecute you and see to it that you get the maximum jail time or even the death penalty!"

"With what evidence?" Nicole asked. "According to the real world, he doesn't exist."

"Well, we're not in the "real" world, are we?" Kelsey had us thinking there. "He will be kin–"

"Not if I kill him first!" I dove at Aragorn. Let's just say that his sword came out really fast and leave it at that.


Nickel's PoV

I had finally agreed with Kelsey's protests and donned a purple fleece poncho. I wasn't cold but the snow was a bit annoying. We'd stopped halfway up Caradhras, most people freezing their butts off. I swear, Scott had frostbite on his head: it was blue.

The Hobbits were miserable. Kelsey, Amanda, Allie and Scott were miserable. Basically, everyone, except me, was miserable. In an attempt to cheer people up, I handed out cups of hot wassail.

After what must have been gallons of wassail that had entered peoples' bodies, Boromir had the smart idea of lighting the wood we'd collected for a fire. The problem was, the wood was wet.

"Use your bag and pull out dry wood!" Gimli yelled at Kelsey.

"It'll just get wet!" Kelsey yelled back.

"Then do something else!"

"Make Gandalf light it. He's the Wizard!"

And Gandalf was forced to light our puny fire, which sent out a signal in flashy lights that said, "Gandalf is here!" brighter and more obvious than the eggs. But, at least, Kelsey and Amanda had stopped complaining.

Then the fire and the hairdryer (which had been on full blast) went out and died. Kelsey started to glare at the hairdryer with her Galadriel eyes. Never missing an opportunity to make noise, I wailed.

"Noise is fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnn!" Unfortunately, someone gagged me.

"Can't we just leave her here?" Gimli moaned.

"No!" Allie whacked him as I spit out the gag.

"Assault! Assault!" I yelled.

"Shut up!" Kelsey kicked me.

"Yes, Mommy."


Mandy's PoV

"If Gandalf would go before us with a bright flame, he might melt a path for you."

"You should have come up with that idea when we had a fire," Nicole replied scathingly.

"What about the hairdryer?" I asked.

"It's dead." Kelsey flicked the switch on and off mournfully.

"Well," said Boromir, "when heads are at a loss, bodies must serve, as we say in my country."

"Then your country must be full of idiots," Nicole commented.

"Then let us force a path!" Aragorn sighed.

"Oh, don't worry! It isn't that far," Kelsey soothed.


Kelsey's PoV

I leaned sleepily against Aragorn at the bottom of the path. "You should have stayed in Rivendell," he whispered. I was to content to argue so I nodded in agreement. Suddenly, a light flashed in front of us and the grass caught on fire.

"Prairie fire!" Allie screeched. "Did a trench! Head for high ground!" She jumped on top of Scott's shoulders as Amanda and I climbed onto our respective crushes. Gandalf yelled something and a great ditch appeared between us and the fire.

"Get down!" he yelled. "Out of the light!"

"Dude . . . I really should stop setting stuff on fire. Brings the freakiest hallucinations!"

"It's a pyromaniac!" someone screamed.

"Censored!"

"Language, Scott!" I yelled.

"Hey! It wasn't me! It's Tomato!" Scott said defensively.

"Get rid of the ditch and give us some light!" Nicole whacked Gandalf. "And give me that stick. It's dangerous!"

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"YES! YES! YES!" Nicole screamed, grabbing the staff. She pointed it at the fire and the ditch. They both disappeared. "Awesome . . ."

"Nickel! Tomato's scaring the Hobbits!" Mandy complained, still standing on Legolas' shoulders.

"Something about his name being Tomato . . ."

"Don't eat him!" Scott moaned. He didn't particularly like the Hobbits. Something about how they wouldn't share the food and the eggs . . . Yeah . . .


Nickel's PoV

For some reason, the wargs didn't show up the night Tomato joined us, which was probably a good thing . . .

In the morning, we head southish – something Mandy didn't understand. She doesn't have a good sense of direction.

"I'm thirsty," Mandy complained. "Where's that stupid stream?"

"South," I answered her, handing her my water bottle.

"Then where is it?"

"It's dried up," I whispered.

"Then why are we trying to find it?"

"Because the road is there, Mandy."

"Ooh! Like the 'Yellow Brick Road?'"

"Yep!" I squealed.

"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!

Follow the Yellow Brick Road!

Follow, follow, follow, follow!

Follow th–"

I kicked the person who'd gagged me. "I don't sing that badly!"

"I'd beg to differ," Legolas muttered. I narrowed my eyes.

"Mandy, you'd better tell your hottie to be careful. He's cruisin' for a butt-bruisin'!" I yelled the last line. "Ooh! An echo! Echo! Echo!"

"Shut up!" someone yelled at me.

"Ya know, ducks don't echo."

"Shut up!"

"Fine!" I ran ahead, ignoring Gandalf's protests. I wanted to talk to the squid. It, at least, appreciated me.

"Nickel!" Kelsey ran up and gave me a hug. "Mandy's just being stupid. Don't be mad. It's just her nature!"

"I resent that!" Mandy screeched.

"You mean that you resemble it!" Kelsey dissed. I smiled weakly.


Hope you liked it! I'm sooo naughty! The authors don't know that I typed this up and posted the previous chapter or this chapter! Mwahahahaha! Okay. Seriously. Please R&R as always!