Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, they belong to JK Rowling.
Author's Note: It's been a while since I've written anything since my last fic's were taken offline. This is my first venture in writing HP fanfiction, so I will welcome any advice, but flames will be used to burn Voldemort's horcruxes.
Fighting the Moonlight
I wasn't sure what hiding here would do, other than cut me off from the world and my one-time friends. I should have known it was too good to be true, to have such good friends for the first time since I was little and to feel like I was part of a group. "The Marauders," my three of my best friends. Why did they have to find out? The sun was setting behind Hogwarts, casting its reflection over the darkening lake.
"Remus?" a quiet voice interrupted my musings. I looked up, expecting to be surrounded by angry eyes and accusations, but all I see is red hair, sparkling in the sunset and concerned emerald eyes.
"Do you need something Lily? I'd rather be alone." Her concern seemed genuine, but with all that is going on, I can't help but wonder if she is still my friend.
"I don't think you do Remus; I think that being alone is the worst thing for you right now," replied Lily. For a twelve year-old girl, Lily was stubborn enough to stop a hippogriff in its tracks. Albeit, that also might be due to her red-headed temper.
"Yes, I do Lily. It's not like anyone wants to be around me. I wouldn't want to be my friend either right about now." As if anyone would ever want to be friends with a monster.
"Too bad Remus." I could tell that she had no intention of leaving right now, why did she care? It was probably only because she didn't know the truth. Just because Lily was the brightest witch in our year and incredibly open-minded, didn't mean that she wasn't scared of werewolves. It was one thing for her to defend muggleborns like herself, but accepting a halfbreed like me? That was a completely different story.
Silence surrounded us, and Lily eventually stopped standing behind me and put one hand on my shoulder. Her hand was an anchor, stopping me from losing myself in the ripples on the lake.
"You know what?" blurted Lily, "We need to work on your self-esteems issues. You're a good person Remus, one of my best friends. No one else will go to the library with me to for the sake of reading and not doing homework. And I don't know anyone but you who will help Peter study or restrain Potter and Black, at least to an extent."
"It doesn't matter Lily. I've pretty much ruined that friendship. They hate me."
And they did. I knew they did. After they took my shell-shocked silence as confirmation of the monster within me, I could see something in their eyes. For a moment, it was like they were going over the mental check-list while plotting a prank, but that look had been replaced by anger.
"No they don't. They're worried sick about you. They came into the library twice looking for you. Why would they have done that if they didn't care?"
I couldn't believe that. They probably had some harebrained scheme, or were looking for someone to prank. But, Lily had never lied to me. Was it possible that they didn't hate me?
"Then why are you here?" I instantly regretted those words, when I saw pain flash through Lily's eyes. Why couldn't I do anything right? Why did I have to hurt the one person who might be my only friend after tonight?
"I told Potter and Black that I'd find you. You always come out here when you're sad. I'm just surprised that they didn't know."
"I'm surprised that you know."
This rock by the lake has always been my spot when I get stressed out. I like being here, still in sight of the castle, but far enough that I can pretend that I'm alone for a while. I've always enjoyed the fresh air, somehow it makes me feel free and like, for one minute, there isn't this overbearing presence in my mind.
"I'm just special that way." Lily was smiling at me, "why don't we go back to the common room?" Lily stands up, wiping the grass and dirt from her skirt.
"Are James, Sirius and Peter mad?" I asked. I have to know what I am potentially condemning myself to.
"Worried sick and scared you'd hurt yourself? Yes. But not mad."
"That's impossible! How could they not be mad at me for not telling me that I'm a…"
"Remus! You're their friend first. Anything else is just part of you, and because you're their friend, they accept it."
Lily was normally very curious, so I was a bit shocked when she interrupted me, even more so that she didn't press the issue. Had they told her? Did Lily know?
"…earth to Remus!" jolted me out of my thoughts.
"Coming Lily," I smiled as she offered me her hand and helped pull me up. Lily wrapped her arm around my shoulder as if she was afraid that I'd run off again.
My throat tightened as we got nearer to the common room. What if this was a trick? What if James and Sirius really did hate me and Lily was just mistaken? Lily just kept guiding me back, giving me no chance to turn away. I felt her hand on my shoulder as we reached the Fat Lady.
I don't know why, but suddenly I remembered that Lily had a silver ring that her mother gave her. She always wore it on her left hand, that hand that was on my shoulder. I resisted shuddering, knowing that a small movement might bring the silver into contact with me, leaving me with a nasty burn for days.
Furtively, I looked at the small hand, there was no ring. In fact, I saw the ring dangling off a necklace chain around her neck, somewhere it wouldn't touch me.
Lily knew.
"Lily…"
"Go on Remus, they don't hate you and neither do I, so stop feeling sorry for yourself!" Lily smiled as the portrait was pushed open from the inside. Sirius and James poked their heads out.
"Remus!" Sirius shouted as he dragged me into the warm common room and up the stairs to our dorm. I vaguely remember James telling Lily "Thanks", then following Sirius and me.
"Sirius, James," I began, but was cut off.
"What were you thinking! You could have gotten sick, or hurt and we wouldn't have known! We even had to ask Evans for help! Don't you ever worry us again," Sirius lectured me.
James and Peter just smiled as Sirius went off on some tangent relating to dungbombs and firewhisky, and for the first time in the past four hours, I smiled as well. There had been nothing to worry about because my friends were really my friends and they always would be.
Their earlier looks that I had mistaken for plotting, I now recognized as one of realization. Sure, they had thought I was a werewolf, but after I confirmed it, they had to go back through their mental lists of signs. The anger I had seen in their eyes was anger at themselves for not realizing it sooner, because they felt that they had failed me as my friends.
It was so confounding how right Lily had been, almost as confounding as the fact they didn't care I was a werewolf. I didn't have to hide anymore behind pitiful excuses, I could just be me and my friends would be right there beside me.
"You know Remus," James began, "I think we can come up with a way to make this a teensy-weensy bit better for you." Oh boy. Apparently they did have some harebrained scheme hatching.
"What do you know about becoming an Animagus?" If the matching grins on Sirius and James' faces were anything to go by, I bet I was about to find out and it would definitely be worthwhile.
