Chapter Six
The dark haired man turned over in bed, his hand sliding over to the pillow beside him. He was greeted only with an indentation where the head of his girlfriend used to be. Sighing, Daniel pulled himself out of bed and wrapped a bathrobe around his boxer-clad form. Then he made his way into the living room, where he heard the somewhat muted sounds of the television set.
As he suspected, Nicole was sitting quietly in front of the TV, her short legs tucked underneath her and her eyes reddened, most likely from crying. Several nights in a row Daniel had woken up to find her in the exact same position she was now, overcome with feelings of remorse over her decision to become human. Every night he had wrapped his arms around her and waited until the tears had subsided. He realized this was probably just part of the process of her accepting who she now was.
Tonight, however, he merely stood behind the sofa, leaning against it and sighing softly. "Nicole, honey, why don't you come back to bed?" he asked in a low tone, his hands finding her shoulders and applying a little pressure.
"I'm not tired," she replied in a whisper, shrugging away from his touch. "You go back to bed if you want."
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he maneuvered his way around the couch and sat down next to her. Shaking his head, he placed a comforting hand on her arm and said carefully, "I don't want to go back without you. Do you want to talk?"
She shook her head back and forth slowly. "No, I don't want to talk, Daniel. Not all problems can be fixed by talking."
"I know," he whispered gently. "But sometimes it helps."
"Not right now," she replied. Finally turning around to look at him, she gave him a weak smile and leaned into his still warm body. "But thanks," she whispered into his neck. He smiled in return and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.
The next few days passed without incident. Daniel was away, off on another mission with the rest of SG1. When they finally returned, the news reached Nicole. So, still wrapped in her gloomy mood, she visited the SGC with the excuse of seeing Daniel. But instead of going to her boyfriend's office, she found herself standing in the doorway to another office somewhat similar to his. She leaned against the doorframe and watched the astrophysicist seated by her computer, tears streaking down tall blonde woman's face slowly. Shaking her head, the former Q stepped into the room and sat down next to her friend. "Hey," she whispered, putting a comforting hand on the woman's back.
Shaking her head, Sam wiped at her tears and shot a small smile toward the woman beside her. "Hey. Sorry, I think I forgot where I was for a minute. What's on your mind?"
"Right now, you. Why were you crying?" Nicole answered, a little confused as to why her friend was avoiding the subject.
Sam sighed and turned back to her computer. "It's nothing," she whispered.
Nicole snorted and folded her arms over her chest, knowing her friend better than that. She shook her head back and forth slowly. "I somehow don't think you of all people would be crying over nothing."
"The mission went badly, okay? I don't feel like talking about it."
"Okay," Nicole replied quietly. "Do you want me to go?"
Sam glanced over at her friend and shook her head, "I didn't say that." She sighed and ran a hand over her forehead slowly. "Did you need something?"
Smiling a little, Nicole shook her head no. "Not today, Sam. I'll see you later."
After meandering her way through the halls, she wandered in on a recreation room, one that had been converted into a makeshift boxing ring by Colonel Jack O'Neill. It was he she found in the room, his hands shrouded in boxing gloves, striking a large punching bag violently. All his frustrations were channeled into the object before him, the motions acting out his own personal therapy.
Unafraid of the consequences, Nicole approached him and touched his arm lightly, causing him to whip around swiftly. Breathing heavily, he raked a gloved hand across his face and shook his head. "Damn it, Nicole! Don't ever interrupt me when I'm boxing!"
She nodded and backed up a few steps. "Sorry," she whispered, her eyes on the floor. "I was just wondering what you were doing."
He looked strangely at her, his eyes full of disbelief. "You've never heard of boxing before?"
She smiled a little. "Well, I have heard of it. Never seen it before. It was considered a bit barbaric where I'm from."
"Barbaric. Heh," Jack responded with a small grin. Placing a gloved hand underneath his arm, he pulled his hand out of it and motioned to another pair hanging on the wall with a roll of white tape beneath them. "Bring those over here. Let me teach you a few things about this 'barbaric' sport."
She complied, a little smile playing on her lips as she delivered the tape and boxing gloves. Once he had them, he proceeded to wrap her hands tightly with the tape, making sure she watched him the entire time so that she could duplicate it later. He then slipped the gloves on over her taped hands and replaced his gloves on his own hands. "Ready?"
Shrugging, she watched as he bobbed up and down, his arms up, gloves in a protective position over his face. "So there's dancing in this sport?" she asked lightly, mimicking his movements.
He nodded. "Yeah, Teal'c didn't get that. He thinks there is a difference between dancing and boxing." He watched her closely, a smile forming on his own face. "Good, good, now move around a little bit. You gotta make it hard for me to hit you."
"You'd hit a woman, Jack?" she teased, making sure her bouncing was a little more animated.
He laughed. "Only if we're boxing or unless the woman really deserved it or I was protecting Earth or something." He took a jab at her, but purposely didn't connect. "Come on, Nicole, bend your knees. You have to keep your knees bent."
"How many rules to this game are there, Jack?"
"Rules? Not so much, but if you want to be good, there are things you need to know."
"Yeah, like what?" she asked, taking a swing at him, striking his arm gently.
He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Nicole, don't go easy on me. You hit like a girl. Here, lemme show you," he said, hitting her in the shoulder, causing her to fall back a little. "And I'm going easy on you because you're a beginner. But don't you dare go easy on me."
"All right, Jack. Whatever you say," she responded with a grin and another hit, this time with more force behind it.
"Good!" he praised her.
"I think I like this sport," she told him enthusiastically.
Jack tapped her shoulders and told her quickly, "Back straight, kiddo. Don't give your opponent the space or time to hit you."
She smiled and jabbed again at him, knowing he would duck her attack. "Kiddo? I'm much older than you are, Jack."
He shrugged. "Maybe. But you don't have much experience as a human. In some ways, you're very new to this." He threw a punch in her direction, which she easily avoided. Smiling, he nodded and told her, "You're quick."
"Okay, I see where you're coming from." She attacked again, this time he blocked her. "I guess you can call me kiddo." She smiled and backed away a little, bringing her arms down. "Kind of don't mind. Makes me feel like you don't hate me anymore."
He studied her closely for a minute, his arms dropping to his sides before responding slowly, "I never hated you. Just didn't trust you." He looked away and began to take off his gloves slowly. "There's a difference."
"And now?" she asked, pulling the gloves off her own hands.
He laughed a little and began to unwrap the tape from his hands. "I think you're harmless," he replied, throwing his gloves into an open gym bag. "And not too bad company," he added after a few seconds, giving her a small smile.
"It's nice of you to say that," she answered softly. "I don't think Sam was too happy with my company earlier."
This comment was rewarded with a sharp look from her companion. "What's wrong with Carter?" he asked, worry creeping into the corners of his eyes.
Nicole shrugged. "Don't know. Wouldn't tell me. She just said the mission went badly. What happened?"
Jack sighed. "One of our allied worlds was destroyed."
"Which one?"
He looked at her briefly as if considering how to answer her, but must have decided it couldn't hurt, because he said softly, "Tollana."
Nicole closed her eyes and sighed deeply. "Oh. Well then that makes sense."
Jack shook his head. "Daniel didn't tell you?"
The red head bit her bottom lip and looked away. "I haven't seen Daniel since you all came back."
"Avoiding him?"
She shrugged. "Maybe."
Suddenly there was a hand on her shoulder, causing her to look up at the much taller man in front of her. "Look, kiddo, I know things aren't all sunshine and rainbows right now, but he means well. You have to know that."
She nodded. "Yeah, I do, it's just . . . well, he tries to fix everything, and I know he means well, but these things take time. I just can't snap my fingers and make everything all better anymore."
Jack smiled. "I know." He took a few steps back and zipped up his bag, swinging it over his shoulder. "You gonna be okay?" he asked. She smiled and nodded. "Good. Because I have some place I need to be." Perceptively she moved out of his way and watched as he left the room, without a doubt in her mind as to where he was headed.
About five minutes later, Jack stepped cautiously into Sam's lab and leaned against her desk, watching as she typed a few words on her computer. Apparently reaching a stopping point, his second in command glanced up and asked with raised eyebrows, "Anything I can do for you, sir?"
He shook his head, noticed her reddened eyes, but didn't mention them. "How are you doing, Carter?" he asked instead, moving around the large table and closer to her. "This one musta hit you pretty hard."
She nodded and looked away, blinking away tears once again. "Yes, sir. It did." She finally turned back toward him, the tears shimmering in her clear blue eyes, and found him watching her, his own eyes filled with sympathy.
He stood there for a few seconds, which seemed like hours to the woman seated in the chair. Finally he moved closer and whispered sweetly, "Come here."
She smiled a little and practically fell into his arms, allowing him to encircle her with his comfort.
Nicole watched this from the doorway and smiled a little to herself, finally moving away from the touching scene. Turning down the hall that would lead her to Daniel's office, she shook her head in amusement at her friends, her eyes glued to the grey floor.
Suddenly she heard a voice from behind her. "What were you doing?"
She twirled to face the owner of the voice, one she knew quite well. "Daniel," she whispered, tucking some curls nervously behind her ear. "I was, uh, just coming to see you."
He closed the distance between them and looked at her curiously. "Were you," he stopped, casting a look back at Sam's still open door before turning back to his girlfriend with a little grin. "Were you spying on them?"
Rolling her green eyes, she turned and began walking in the other direction, throwing a quick reply over her shoulder, "Some things are more complicated than that."
Falling into step beside her, he shot her a confused expression. "That was cryptic. What's it supposed to mean?"
"It means, Daniel, that I don't feel like talking about it right now," she retorted angrily as she pressed the elevator button. "In fact, I don't feel like talking about much of anything right now."
Without her or her companion's knowledge, their conversation had gathered a very small audience from the doorway of Sam's office. Apparently Jack and Sam had heard the commotion in the hallway, but didn't want to interrupt anything.
Daniel shook his head. "No, you really don't feel like talking much, do you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, whirling to face him.
"It means that you have isolated yourself lately, and you refuse to talk about what you're going through. I know it's not easy, but it might help to talk about it."
She huffed, turning back to the elevator doors, willing them to open. "I think I talk quite a bit, Daniel. Are you upset because it's not to you?"
"A little, yes. Nicole, we're supposed to be in a relationship here! Why do you feel like you have to talk to everyone else besides me?"
Her eyes flashed angrily in his direction before she shook her head and muttered, "I can't do this right now."
"Why not?"
"Because I am not in control of these fracking human emotions yet! There is no way I can be tactful in this state!" She snapped crossly, her volume rising a little, which caused Jack and Sam to retreat further into the office, still listening to the conversation outside the door.
Daniel leaned closer and responded in a low tone, "I don't care if you can be tactful, Nicole, just tell me the truth. Why can't you talk to me?"
"You really want to know?" He nodded, and she sucked in a deep breath to continue. "Because you're the reason I'm like this. I can't even look at you right now that's how upset I am."
Backing up a few steps, he looked at her with an astonished expression painted all over his face. She blinked back a few tears, but turned away and watched as the elevator doors chose that moment to open. Taking a deep breath, she stepped into it and let the closing doors block out the broken-hearted look on the man's face before her.
Jack and Sam wasted no time after they heard the elevator closing. They rushed to their friend's side, who was still standing in front of the elevator, staring at it as if his girlfriend was suddenly going to reappear on the other side of the grey doors. Jack clapped a hand on his friend's shoulder, causing his blue eyes to finally tear themselves away from the steel and settle on the man next to him. "Hey, Jack," he managed to get out.
"Hey, Daniel. Carter and I were just talking about dinner. You in? We'll go someplace that serves steak," he smiled with the last thought and shot Sam a look, asking silently if she was okay with Daniel going with them to dinner. She nodded, putting a hand on Daniel's arm in an attempt to comfort him.
The man in the middle glanced at both of them and finally cracked a small smile. "Sure, I'm game. Just let me grab a few things first."
There was a knock on Teal'c's door, causing him to stir from his relaxed position on the floor in the middle of many candles. Opening the door, he was surprised to discover the small form of Nicole, her eyes shifting uncomfortably from side to side, and her hands buried deep in her pockets. "Hey, Teal'c," she greeted him softly, her eyes scanning the room. "Am I interrupting something?"
He shook his head back and forth slowly. "I am performing the ritual of Kelnorim. Are you all right?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry for disturbing you."
"You are not," he insisted in his own way. "Do you wish to talk to someone?"
"Really would rather not," she replied and grimaced a little. "That's why I came to you," she explained, raising her eyebrows, hoping Teal'c would understand that she was insinuating that he wasn't one to talk a lot.
The corner of his lips raised slightly. "Would you like to come in, Nicole? Perhaps I can teach you the basics of Kelnorim?"
She smiled and nodded. "I'd like that."
An hour later, Daniel, Jack and Sam were all seated around a table at a nearby restaurant, reminiscing and laughing a little at old memories. Even though it was a sad night for all of them, they had found a small refuge in each other, ignoring the pain for the moment. Just as their food arrived and Jack had mentioned Urgo, a cell phone rang. It took a minute for them to figure out whose cell it was, but finally Daniel flipped open his and motioned to his friends before answering with a simple, "Hello?"
"Hey," her voice reached his ear, and he could tell his friends across the table could hear it, too, for they were suddenly very interested in their food. "Look, I'm sorry about before. That's just one feeling in this mish-mash of emotions that keep overwhelming me. You just happened to catch me at the wrong time."
"It's okay," he replied carefully, his eyes on his own food. "It's not like I didn't think this issue would come up eventually. I mean, it's only been a few weeks, and I know you need time to adjust. I'm sorry for pushing you."
"No, you were right. We are in a relationship, and instead of going to you, I am talking to all of your friends. You and I do need to talk."
He smiled. "I thought that's what we were doing."
He could almost see her smile into the phone. "I meant in person, Daniel." She waited a moment, then almost as an after though added, "Where are you anyway?"
"Out to dinner with Jack and Sam. You want me to come and get you?"
"No, that's okay. I got a ride home from Walter. See you when you get home?"
"Sounds good to me."
He found her in their room, lying on the bed, her back to the door, and her breathing even and rhythmic, indicating that she was asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he slipped quietly onto the bed beside her and draped his arm around her waist.
Nicole awoke with the distinct awareness that she wasn't alone. Rotating in his arms, she smiled when she saw the unconscious face of her boyfriend next to her. He was slightly snoring, but she didn't mind. Instead of waking him, she snuggled as close to him as she could and fell asleep once more.
