Secrets and Confrontation
Squilkey

Summary:
Buffy notices TJ is acting odd around Cyrus, and she's not going to let that slide. But how is Buffy going to interpret what she finds out?


Chapter 1: Locker Stares

Chapter Text

Buffy was balancing three textbooks on her hip as she attempted the combination on her locker. She had been having trouble with it all day and had settled with carrying everything, but it had gotten ridiculous. She slammed her hand against it on the third try: absolutely no use. She scanned the hallway for her friends, someone could surely hold a few books for her. Cyrus and Andi were nowhere around, they had class on the other side of the school next period. She was about to give up when a familiar face caught her eye: TJ Kippen. True, they weren't the closest two classmates could be, but their bad blood had been settled the week before (thanks to Cyrus), this was just another thing he could do to make it up to her.

"TJ," she said, leaning against the locker next to his. She expected a snarky hello, a passive acknowledgement, anything really, but TJ was caught in a daze. She followed his line of sight, but he seemed to be staring at empty space. "Hello? Earth to TJ," she waved her free hand across his face. He squinted and then turned to look at her.

"What?" He was annoyed, not the best sign.

"I need to leave some of my books in your locker," she stated, pushing two textbooks into his open locker.

"No," he said, attempting to close the locker door. Her books jammed the way and she forced them forward. TJ put his hand down on the top textbook and glared. "Seriously?"

"Look, TJ. I can't get my locker open and I'm going to be late so if you could just," she stopped mid sentence and pushed with more force, but TJ's hand was firm.

He cocked an eyebrow, "How would you ask nicely?" Buffy just rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to be late," she insisted. "You will be too, so just let me. You owe me."

"What do I owe you? I settled all my debts last week, Cyrus said."

"Well you can be friends with Cyrus," Buffy responded, "But just because we're okay, doesn't mean we're good. If you do me favours, we can get closer to good."

TJ lifted his hand off the pile and held it up in surrender. "Fine, but get them out next period."

"Whatever." She shoved the books next to TJ's own and turned without another word, setting off to History just as the tardy bell rung.

She left class as soon as she could, not wanting to deal with a 'late fee' from TJ, because that was definitely something he would do. She had texted Cyrus during class and he 'would gladly accept' the extra books.

When she rounded the corner, TJ was already at his locker; leaning against it as if he hadn't even gone to class. He was staring off into space again. The closer she got, the more she realised it wasn't just space, it was the exact same space as before. She slowed down and tried to follow his eyes, they were dead set on something in the distance. There were kids walking all throughout the hall now, some stopping to chat or open their lockers, but his gaze didn't change. Her phone buzzed with a text from Cyrus: 30 seconds.

"Books," she stated, slamming her hand next to the locker to pull TJ from his gaze. His eyes stayed rooted for a few more seconds before he turned around to face Buffy. He spun his combination around and pulled the books from inside, piling them on top of Buffy's History book she had held on to. "See ya."

Cyrus' locker was at a direct diagonal from TJ's and she made it there just barely before he did.

"Have you been carrying those all morning? You should have asked me earlier!" Cyrus grabbed a book off the stack as he turned to work his combination.

"I bargained a spot in TJ's locker last period, actually," Buffy said.

"Oh really? So you guys are getting along now?" Cyrus' voice was incredibly hopeful. He took the rest of the books from Buffy's hands and shoved them in.

"I guess. He was acting really weird today though," she commented. "And not in the normal snarky-TJ way."

"What do you mean?" Cyrus was digging in his locker for something now, Buffy talked to his back.

"I don't really know. I can't explain it he just," she turned around to look back at TJ and stopped mid-sentence. TJ was looking straight at them, the way he was looking at the empty space before. Exactly the same way.

"He just what? Buffy?"

"He just uh, seemed distracted, I don't know. It's nothing." Cyrus pulled out a loose piece of paper from the back of his locker.

"But you guys are getting along?" He looked up at her, his eyes big.

"Yeah," It was just a small lie, just to keep Cyrus happy. The warning bell rang.

"Cool! I'll see you at lunch." Cyrus took off in the other direction and Buffy turned her gaze back to TJ. He hadn't moved at all, but his eyes were now tracking down the hallway, right behind Cyrus. She moved toward him. Was she really going to be late to fourth period as well?

"What are you doing?" TJ flinched. It was her third time hitting a locker today.

"What are you doing?" He retorted, gaze fully diverted now.

"You're staring at Cyrus, what do you want?" There's no beating around the bush with TJ.

"What?" His voice cracked slightly, as if caught doing something he shouldn't have been. Buffy frowned. "I, uh, was just seeing what you were doing with the books." Nope, not in the slightest.

"You weren't. You were staring at his locker earlier and right before I went over there. You didn't know I was going over there. You were staring at him when he walked off, not me."

"Go away, Buffy. I don't have time for this." He was avoiding the situation.

"What do you have against him? He thinks you're friends." TJ has started walking away, Buffy followed, right on his heels. He turned to look at her.

"Nothing! We are. Leave me alone," TJ snapped. The late bell rang, yet she persisted.

"So why are you staring at him? You looked completely dazed earlier and I'm worried you're going to hurt him. He cares about you and I'm not going to let you hurt him."

"I'm not trying to hurt him. I've got shit I'm trying to figure out, alright? Cyrus is making me think. A lot. About things." He shook his head, "Just leave me alone." He was walking again, but Buffy still followed. This time, she was just trying to work things out for herself.

"Think about what? Do you have a crush on him or something?" TJ stopped dead in his tracks. It was meant to be a joke, something to get him talking again. Yet he was silent, his face was hard. "TJ, do you—" He cut her off before she could finish her sentence.

"Buffy, don't." TJ jerked open the door to the mens' bathroom and let it slam behind him.


Chapter 2: Locker Confrontation

Buffy was only three minutes late to class, but she might as well skipped all together. She couldn't focus on anything. Her whole world had just been rocked, almost everything she had thought she had known about TJ…It made sense looking back, but she wasn't sure if she wanted it to. Was she just a pawn in his attempt to get to Cyrus? Was he just a game to TJ? Something he could experiment with? She didn't trust him before, and she definitely didn't trust him now that Cyrus was in danger of getting hurt. She was overthinking every event that had happened this semester. She needed to talk to him.

She, Andi, and Cyrus met up for lunch at their usual spot, walking outside to meet Jonah at their table. She was distracted, but no one seemed to notice. Cyrus was in the middle of giving Jonah a run-down on his 'disastrous day in PE' when Buffy interrupted them.

"Cyrus?" She asked.

"Yeah?" He swung his leg around the bench to face her, abandoning his conversation.

"Do you know where TJ goes during lunch?"

Cyrus frowned slightly at the question. "Are you okay? Did he do something? I can talk to him, Buffy," he was already pleading. She brushed him off.

"I just have a question, that's it." Cyrus looked confused. "It's to help him. With math," a small white lie. It was to help Cyrus, really.

"Oh, okay!" He was smiling again. "But I don't actually know. Maybe inside with the team? I've never actually seen him at lunch." She nodded and stood up from the table.

"I'll be right back."

The cafeteria wasn't very big, and a quick scan told her that he wasn't among the group of kids on the team that sat together. She asked around but they didn't seem to know either. She checked the gym after that, one of the only other places she knew he hung out, but it was closed during lunch.

She found him on the way back to the outside deck, sitting on the ground with his head against his locker. The hallway was completely empty. She made her way over and silently sat down next to him. He opened an eye and glanced at her with little interest.

"You want something?"

"Explain. What you didn't explain earlier," Buffy requested.

He let out a shaky breath and knocked his head back against the lockers . "You made me get him that muffin. He was nice, it wasn't anything." She was surprised that the answer came so fast. "I don't know what you want me to say, Buffy. This wasn't supposed to happen. I saw him at the park that day, you remember," he looked at her and waited until she nodded. "He was singing this weird song while he was swinging, I'm assuming he made it up." Buffy couldn't help but laugh, she definitely knew the song. "He was nice to me, genuinely. He knew who I was and he didn't care, he didn't hold anything against me." God knows why, Buffy thought. "It's not what you think it is, I did want to be friends with him. It just, changed. Fast."

TJ stopped talking and Buffy took that as her chance to interject. "So what is he? Some kind of experiment to you?" She stared at him and he stared back, confused.

"Experiment? I like him, Buffy. This isn't a game to me. I know I can't do anything. I promise I'm not going to do anything." Now it was Buffy's turn to be confused. He wasn't trying to do anything?

"I know he wants to be friends," TJ continued. "I'm trying, Buffy. It's hard, he makes me overthink everything. I feel like the more time I spend with him the more likely I'm going to break and do something stupid and scare him off. I'm not trying to do anything. It's the opposite, really."

Scare him off? What was he talking about?

TJ slammed his head back into the lockers and closed his eyes. "I just can't get him out of my head."

All of a sudden, something clicked in Buffy's brain. TJ didn't know Cyrus was gay.

Why the thought had only just occurred to her, she had no idea. Every judgement Buffy had been making was based on her knowledge of Cyrus, not TJ's. He wasn't using Cyrus for anything. He had no idea. This wasn't some game to him; he was truly upset. Buffy immediately regretted what she was doing. She was making things worse, she was making TJ feel bad for something he couldn't help. Something he definitely shouldn't feel bad about. This conversation just turned on its head completely. She needed to let her guard down.

"I was wrong," Buffy stated. TJ looked at her in shock. "I shouldn't have assumed what I did. I shouldn't have forced you to, well, come out." TJ gave her a weak smile. "And then make you feel bad about it, on top of that." She added

"Don't worry, I don't accept judgement from you," he smirked. "And besides, I'm not keeping anything a secret, it's just not something that's come up, really." He rose his eyebrows, "Not that anyone needs to know." Buffy nodded. "It's just Cyrus. We're friends, he's great, amazing, really. I just don't want to scare him off and it's getting worse." Buffy gave him a questioning look and he explained. "Like after our one-on-one when Cyrus went sprinting toward you. It made me mad like I was expecting him to come to me, but of course he wasn't." Buffy sighed. She was in the worst possible position, she couldn't say anything: not to TJ, not to Cyrus.

"I promise your secret is safe with me, TJ. But I really don't think this isn't as bad as it seems. I'm not saying you should tell Cyrus, but I really don't think it would go as poorly as you think it will." TJ looked sideways at her, unsure of what she was saying. Okay, she's said too much. Time to go. Buffy pushed herself up from the floor, gave TJ a small smile, and turned to go.

"Hey," TJ called after her. "What were you assuming?"

"What I'm always assuming," She stated simply. "That you're trying to hurt Cyrus." That was as close to the truth as she could get. If she wasn't going to out Cyrus, how else would she explain why she thought TJ was trying to use him?

"And now?" TJ asked.

"The opposite."


Chapter 3: Secrets and Baby Taters

Cyrus was sitting on a park bench, cross-legged and notebook in his lap. He was switching between memorising his pre-algebra formulas and watching Buffy do trick-shots on the public court. It was early enough on a Saturday that the park was basically empty. Cyrus enjoyed these mornings, where Buffy was content to have the company, but didn't really mind he wasn't completely there in spirit; It was hard being everyone's cheerleader. Besides, he had a math test on Monday and fitting study time in his schedule was becoming increasingly harder with their ever-growing friend group. Not only was he almost always busy in the morning and during lunch now, he always had at least one friend that was available for an after-school hang out, and how could he turn that down? He glanced up as Buffy hit the air in celebration of her three-pointer. He gave her a thumbs up and looked down at his worksheet, pen in his mouth.

Half an hour later and the familiar bounce of a basketball was gone. "Hey! I think I'm done for the morning," Cyrus heard Buffy call from the hoop. He placed his pen down on his notebook and closed it, marking his spot. "Baby taters?" He asked excitedly.

"Baby taters," Buffy agreed. The best thing about these morning practises were their trips to The Spoon. Luckily baby taters were an anytime-of-the-day kind of meal.

The walk there was only five minutes and with the weather getting warmer as it got later in the morning, it was surprisingly pleasant. Buffy knocked Cyrus off the sidewalk for making fun of her game-face when she was trying to make a tricky shot. He retaliated by sticking out his tongue, a signature move.

The diner was next-to-empty this early and they grabbed their favourite booth by the window immediately upon arrival. They both picked up their menus, however unnecessary. Cyrus knew he was only ordering baby taters (his mom had made him eat before he left the house only an hour and a half ago) but Buffy normally ordered something more substantial.

Amber wasn't working this early and Cyrus didn't recognise their waiter so they tried to keep their volume down as best they could as they waited for their food. They talked about school and Jonah drama and the new girls' basketball team, but something was in the back of Cyrus' mind. He was still bothered by the way Buffy had acted last week with TJ. It wasn't as if he should have been suspicious, but all the questioning seemed off-especially since TJ had written her that beautiful apology rap only a week ago.

They received their food and Cyrus picked at his, thinking about how he would bring the topic up to his best friend. He didn't want to sound accusatory, but there didn't seem to be another way around it, and he definitely wasn't dropping the issue.

"No tater theatre?" Buffy asked, prodding his hand with her fork. Cyrus just shrugged in response. "You alright, Cyrus?"

"Yeah! I just—You and TJ are friends, right?" Buffy visibly rolled her eyes at the question and laughed, almost as if she had been expecting it. "What!" Cyrus exclaimed.

"You're always so worried about my relationship with TJ! Why can't we just be 'okay'?" Cyrus took a slow bite of the baby tater he was picking at. There was no easing back into the topic, he had to attack at full force.

"Because I thought you were friends and then you had that weird thing at school and then I wasn't so sure and then you mysteriously spoke with him at lunch and I know you said it was about math but I really don't think it was because TJ told me you weren't helping him anymore! And I don't mean that in a bad way I know he didn't ask for your help… I just mean it seems like a lie." Cyrus was out of breath when he finished speaking, worried about Buffy's reaction to it all. But Buffy was smiling at him. "What? What did I say? Shouldn't you be…Well, mad? Annoyed?" Full force Cyrus was definitely a little overbearing, he thought.

"You really like to overthink when it comes to TJ, don't you?" She replied. Cyrus frowned slightly.

"What do you mean? Is that your response to my questions? This is what makes me overthink!"

"It's nothing you need to know, Cyrus," She responded simply.

"Seriously, Buffy? Nothing I need to know makes me want to know even more! You're going to cause me to ramble again. Save yourself and tell me while you still can."

"Okay," She gave in. "I'll admit that we weren't talking about math." Cyrus debated going with 'Aha!' but he just ended up frowning. He was right, something was wrong. "Before you start getting all questiony again, it's something I can't talk to you about."

"There's no way! If you know something about TJ, I probably already know it. TJ telling you a not to tell anyone doesn't include me! I'm not technically a person," Cyrus declared.

Buffy rose her eyebrow at him in amusement. "You're not technically...a person?"

"You know what I mean! Tell me!" He whined.

"It's something I promised not to talk to you about. Not a person, you specifically."

"Why would TJ tell you something and not tell me?" His eyebrows were creased together as he inspected another baby tater. "Why would he tell you something to specifically not tell me?" He pouted. "We're closer than you are to him. Did I do something?" He looked at Buffy in fear.

"No!" Buffy said. "It's not something you did it's just because it's you who—" She shut her mouth abruptly and stuck her straw in her mouth.

"I who what! I who what!" He was leaning forward on the table now. "Is it bad? Is it something about basketball? About your textbooks? No that doesn't really involve me...About my locker? Is that why he was looking over at us?"

"Cyrus! Stop guessing things!"

"Just tell me, is it bad?" He pleaded, almost all the way across the table now.

"Well he thinks-I mean it's-No. It's not bad," she settled.

"That's not really reassuring, you know. He thinks, you mean, it is. What's real!" He recoiled back into the booth and slumped down. Buffy took another bite of her sandwich, almost as if she was unbothered. "Buffy!" He whined. She glanced at him, halfway under the table, in amusement. "Does he think it's good? Would I think it's good?" He was basically talking to the ceiling at this point. Buffy ate in silence. He bounced back up, straight in the booth.

"Yes?" Buffy asked at the sudden change in posture.

"If I found out-not from you-would that be okay?" He asked.

Buffy considered this for a moment. "I guess so. But I'm the only one who knows."

"I know that," Cyrus replied simply, taking another baby tater.

"So?" Buffy clarified.

"I'll just ask TJ." Buffy looked as if she was going to say something, but she just shrugged and took a bite of her sandwich.


Chapter 4: Confrontation (the good kind)

With the stress of his math test and an upcoming English report, Cyrus hadn't really given his upcoming conversation with TJ much attention. But now that the conversation was only a few hours away, he couldn't keep it out of his mind. The fact that Buffy hadn't resisted to the idea of Cyrus just asking TJ himself seemed to be a good sign. Whatever it was, it wasn't bad enough that Cyrus couldn't find out himself, right? Besides, Buffy had said it was good, hadn't she? Or was it good for TJ but bad for him? The other way around? Dwelling on these thoughts, he realised that he didn't even know what he was supposed to ask TJ. 'You told Buffy a secret, tell me too?' That sounded invasive (and a little creepy). Cyrus purged the thoughts from his mind as he entered his math classroom. Nothing could affect this: he knew all these formulas back-to-front. And how ironic would it be if Buffy and TJ had caused him to fail a math test?

They were given the last forty-five minutes of class for the test but Cyrus finished it in thirty, giving him time alone with his thoughts for fifteen minutes. He would catch TJ at his locker after the last bell and see what happened from there. He reckoned the easiest way to get him to talk was to act casual about the whole situation: it was NBD.

Cyrus got through drama and history and then, almost, ran to his locker. It was more like a fast speed walk. Somehow the older boy was always already there; No matter how close Cyrus' previous class was, no matter how fast he left the room, TJ was always there. Cyrus put his textbook away and turned around to look at the locker across the hall. Surprisingly, TJ was already looking at him. They made eye contact and he grinned. Cyrus returned the gesture with a smile and started walking in that direction.

"Underdog! What's up? How'd the math test go?" The thought that TJ had remembered he had a test only made him smile more.

"It was amazing! I finished early and I'm pretty sure I got every answer right." TJ was staring down at him, never breaking eye contact.

"That's great!" He leaned against his locker and pulled his backpack up over his shoulder. He looked behind his shoulder at all the kids flooding out of the school. "Taking the bus?" He asked.

Cyrus shrugged. "It's nice enough out that I'll walk. Gives me time to stress about my next test."

TJ pouted at him. "Poor baby," he mocked.

"I'm doing it to myself! I expect no sympathy!" TJ laughed at this. There was a moment of silence before Cyrus decided to approach the topic. "I surprisingly didn't just come over to gloat about math," he admitted. "I actually wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah?" TJ responded. He motioned toward the door with his arm. "Wanna walk?" Cyrus nodded and pulled at the straps of his backpack, falling in line with TJ as they made their way out of the school. "What's on your mind, Underdog?" He asked as they entered the fresh air. It was a calming change of scenery, which surprisingly gave Cyrus a little more confidence. He wasn't doing anything wrong. He wasn't really prying.

"Your conversation with Buffy last week," Cyrus admitted. TJ stopped in his tracks and Cyrus almost ran into him. His face was solid, the grin he had been sporting for the past five minutes, abandoned.

"She told you?" He deadpanned.

"No!" Cyrus yelped, slightly drawing attention to themselves. "No, she wouldn't tell me anything. I'm, well, worried? I guess?"

TJ frowned. "Worried about what?"

"I know you weren't talking about math," Cyrus admitted. "Or basketball—I think."

TJ started walking again. "Okay?"

"And you guys aren't really close," he continued. "So I was thinking, maybe, you guys were talking about me?" TJ was silent as they crossed the road. "If you don't want to be my friend, it's fine. I'd be disappointed—devastated, actually, but it's okay. I'm used to rejection." TJ stopped again and grabbed Cyrus' shoulder.

"Hey! No." He was looking so deep into Cyrus' eyes, he thought he might get lost. Cyrus felt compelled to nod.

"So I'm just overreacting?" Cyrus clarified. The silence lasted almost too long and TJ seemed to hesitate, but he eventually spoke.

"Not exactly," he started.

"So you don't want to be friends?"

"No!" Thankfully this burst of noise had fewer onlookers. "Not that, I mean. We were talking about you."

"Okay," he was trying to remain neutral to the situation. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

TJ swallowed. "Uh." He was fidgeting with his fingers and, for the first time since Cyrus had known him, staring at his feet. Cyrus wanted to fill the silence, but he fought the urge. "It's just—um." His foot started to bounce against the ground. Cyrus scanned their surroundings, most people had disappeared by now. "It could be good or it could be bad, I dunno." Cyrus frowned, he was being just as confusing as Buffy had been. "I know we're friends and, uh, that's great. Really, it is. I just, uh." He screwed his eyes shut as if it physically pained him to get words out of his mouth. "I just don't wanna scare you or, uh, lose you as a friend, but I don't really see how this conversation can be avoided much longer." He paused and looked up for a brief second, catching Cyrus' eyes. He looked worried like he had never been before.

"If it's a serious conversation we can take it to the swings?" Cyrus offered. They were only a two minute walk from the park. TJ nodded and they walked in silence the whole way there. Cyrus had so many thoughts whirling around in his head he didn't know what to focus on, but that was probably for the best. They arrived at the swing set but neither of them sat down. TJ planted himself next to the pole, leaning against it. Cyrus stood slightly back, facing him.

TJ rested his head back on the incline, looking up at the sky. "Buffy found out something about me. That's why she knows and you don't. I didn't want to tell her. She insisted that we talk about it and, uh, she said some things that made me think maybe this wouldn't be that bad. She was wrong, of course. This is bad. I mean not bad, just hard. But it could be bad, I guess. I'm not making a lot of sense. Fuck, I've never been this bad at talking before." Cyrus would agree to that, TJ was starting to sound like him. Maybe he was the bad influence. TJ exhaled loudly and finally looked back down at Cyrus.

"I have certain feelings toward people—shit, not people, uh. Feelings towards guys and, more specifically, you." Cyrus looked at him in shock. Never in a million years would he have guessed that was going to come out of TJ's mouth. He was moving, he was dying, all plausible. That he was gay and had a crush on Cyrus? Insane. TJ looked away from Cyrus and pushed himself off the pole. "I'm gonna go." He turned to leave but Cyrus caught his wrist on the turn, snapping out of his daze. TJ instinctively turned back around.

"I have certain feelings towards guys too," Cyrus admitted. TJ's mouth opened slightly. "I just never thought, in a million years, my crush would too."

TJ cocked his head to the side and gave a weak smile, unbelieving. "Your crush?"

Cyrus' hand was still wrapped around TJ's wrist. He slipped it down into the taller boy's hand and wove their fingers together. "My crush," he repeated.