She ran. She ran as fast as she could. She felt like that girl who was running up that hill, desperately trying to see that boy.
You came back!
She pushed herself to her limit until she ran out of breath. She really wanted to see him that day.
Did you miss me?
Jazmine took a plane out of Chicago on a last minute flight to Washington DC. She almost lost her bags, she almost dropped his letter, and almost tripped on the floor a couple of times. She felt crazy, she felt like she was going insane. As she sits on her plane seat, she finally got a chance to catch her breath, she is winded, she hadn't ran that fast in her life, but finally she finally gets time to think.
The plane takes off, she feels a slight weightlessness as the plane lifts off to the air. Normally, Jazmine would feel scared, even frightened, but she's determined, she doesn't have time to be scared, she has to be strong. For the two of them, for him. She doesn't want to be afraid anymore, all this time she let herself be frightened, she avoided him, ran away from him, because she was scared. She did it until they were miles and miles apart, she did it until they haven't seen each other for two months.
She's not scared anymore, she's going to talk to him, face whatever consenquence, if he yells at her, or breaks up with her, or if he hates her, then so be it. If every single doubt and fears that Jazmine has will come true then so be it. She just wants to see him again. To save him from himself, to bring him back to life, to bring back the Huey Freeman that had died during that funeral. She wants to peer into those voidless, blank eyes and heal him from his pain. To heal that broken soul that she saw during that funeral.
She won't break her promise.
She comes back to the time they were under that tree, gazing into the stars. The time during his birthday, the night where they confessed, where they made their promises.
Where they made their vows.
If you push me away, I'll come flying back! If you get lonely then I'll always be by your side! I just want to be with you Huey Freeman whether you like it or not!
And there she is, returning from Chicago. Flying back to him in an airplane at around 500 miles per hour. And when she lands, the first thing she's going to do is run straight to him
Jazmine is at Dulles International. Which is Washington DC's aiport. She stands at the area for arriving passengers as she waits for cab to pick her up. She's heading straight for the apartment. The one that they picked together and visited. It's almost dusk and the sun is going down. She gets in the taxi, with her bags in tow.
As far as her parents know, she is supposed to be in Chicago, settling in to her new dorm room. She is supposed to be unpacking and meeting people in her dorm. She's supposed to be supposed to be in another state and getting ready to start her first year in university. That is why, as her taxi driver is taking her to their apartment, she gets a call from her mom.
"Hi mommy."
"Hi sweetie." Sarah's voice can be heard through the phone call.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm good. I just wanted to call and see if you're alright... did your father tell you about the divorce?"
"I know mom. I'm okay with it, if that's why you're calling."
"Oh." Sarah lets out a sigh of relief "How's your first day in Chicago?"
Jazmine lies "It's good."
"How are you adjusting? Is your roommate nice?"
"She's great mom, she has pink hair, I think she's a feminist, and she took me out for bubble tea and pizza. It was fun."
"That's great! If you need any help, your father and I will still be there for you okay?"
"Okay mom. Bye! I miss you already!" Jazmine says.
"Bye! Have fun sweetie!"
Jazmine ends the call and she looks out the taxi's window. She has always been a terrible liar but she doesn't know what took hold of her. She feels kinda bad, trying to decieve her own parents like that and yet there's something gnawing at the back of her mind.
Jazmine is here to see him, to apologize, to be there for him. But if he pushes her back, if he's happier alone, then where will she go? She's had this suspicion ever since she got on the plane. She plans to walk up to his door, to hold his hand and to look him in the eyes. And in the event that he pushes her away then she'll just pretend it never happened, she'll go back to Chicago, she'll live with her pink-haired roommate, study, get a job, and start a family. And her parents would never know that she tried to pull off this stunt.
She actually has to thank him for the confidence that she has. If she didn't spend as much time with him, he would've never given her those countless reality checks, he would've never revealed to her that life isn't all good times and rainbows. That her reality isn't some fairy tale with puppies and kittens and unicorns. He gave Jazmine the strength and the confidence needed to face the harsh reality of life head on. And in what could be the single most life-changing moment of her life, Jazmine has the confidence to clench her teeth, not blink, and then face it head on.
She arrives at the apartment and pays the taxi driver. She's staring down at a certain window on the apartment building. The window of his home. She enters the building, in her hand is the spare key. A key that he gave her for the apartment, she held it in front of her like a flashlight, like it's guiding her to her destination, and when she finds the correct door, she opens it.
She didn't knock, she didn't wait, in a sudden motion she just barges right in. Jazmine half-expected their apartment to be empty, or worse be occupied by another person, but she just stands at the doorway, trying to find her courage.
Dark
The apartment is pitch-black but she turned on the lights. She sees a well-kept living room, it's tidy and organized, a small television and a punching bag at the corner. When she sees posters of black revolutionaries on the wall, she let out a sigh of relief when she learns that Huey still lives in the apartment.
"Hello?" She calls out.
Silence.
"Huey? It's me..."
Silence.
No one is there. She opened the door to an empty apartment.
Jazmine sits down on his couch, thinking about how ridiculous her plan is. Thinking about what she's going to say when he comes back, thinking about how he will react. She's thinking if her hair is okay, if her hoodie and her pants are appropriate or if she should wear something else and put on makeup. She's thinking about his kitchen and how clean it is, thinking if she should make food for him, or even thinking if she should leave.
She thinks that Huey is gonna come to his apartment, probably from a long day of work and discover a woman who he hasn't seen in 2 months just sitting in his apartment. She thinks that he will kick her out, for invading his privacy, for trespassing in his property, for acting so desperate.
Or maybe he will come into his apartment with a girl, it's already 6 at night and maybe he is on a date. That would be a reason for a man go out at night and Jazmine isn't prepared to see Huey with another woman.
"Maybe I should just leave." She says to herself outloud.
As she sits on his couch and recalls her options, she feels absolutely clueless on what to do. So she takes out her phone and dials another number.
It rings.
And then a voice says "Hello? Sweetie?"
"Daddy. I have a question."
"What is it sweetie? Is everything alright? How's your first day in Chicago?" Tom spews out a dozen words.
"I'm fine. Chicago was... good. I have a question daddy." Jazmine repeats herself.
"What is it?"
"You mentioned Huey earlier in the morning. When you called me last time. You said that you were staying at Huey's apartment yesterday?"
"I was."
"Why?" Jazmine asks.
"Your mother kicked me out yesterday... I didn't had a place to go... I didn't had my wallet and I was scared out of my mind! I was driving without my license and if I got arrested I could've gone to jail!"
Her dad had a phobia for getting arrested and getting sexually assualted in prison. Jazmine imagines how her dad would be absolutely frightened at the time.
"But I found your apartment... the apartment that you and Huey rented. I took my chances and went there. Huey was a little mad at first, but he took me in. Robert would've been really proud of his grandson."
"What did you two do?"
"He gave me some advice. Some advice about my marriage. He said things about living the rest of my life with your mother and if I'm certain I really wanna do that."
"Is that why you're going to leave mom?"
"Yes. It's because of Huey... but don't blame him sweetie... he just told me what I really needed to hear. It's still my choice at the end..."
Jazmine says "I don't blame Huey... I want to thank him."
"You do?"
Jazmine assures him "I do. Have you seen him?"
Tom replies "He's in Woodcrest. He drove me home because I don't have my license."
"Oh..." Jazmine is ready to sprint out the door.
"Wait! Sweetie is everything okay? Are you still in Chicago?"
"I'm still in Chicago. Love you dad! Bye!"
Back then they had calculated how long it took to get from Woodcrest to DC. Huey told her that it would take on average an hour under normal traffic conditions. She has an hour to get herself to Woodcrest and see him. For all she knows Huey could be in his car already driving back home but she needs to take her chances and head straight for their place.
Their hill.
She goes to a bus station. She had already left her luggage in his apartment, all her clothes, because it's only going to slow her down. As she runs to the ticket booth, the man sees a frantic young woman, out of breath, and holding a small letter on her hand.
She tries to speak in between her jagged hyperventilating breaths "One. pant Ticket. pant Please."
Jazmine can't even look at him, she has her head pointed to the ground, trying to suck in air. She expected Uncle Ruckus behind the ticket booth, refusing to sell her a bus ticket or say another racial slur at her like mulato or hybrid.
"Ticket to where?" The man says.
"To. pant Woodcrest. pant Please."
Luckily, everything else went smoothly. A bus was headed for Woodcrest in 5 minutes. She got in and she rested her legs again, feeling the soft cushions of her bus seat as people boarded the bus and then later headed off to their destination.
A million thoughts swirl in her head. She wonders if he'll be at the bus station, waiting for a bus to DC, maybe she can have a romantic encounter when they arrive, and she can put her arms between him and kiss him on the lips. Even all this time, he still finds a way to help her family, to help someone like her parents and change the world for the better, all this time he has been doing protests and doing work despite mourning the loss of his grandparent.
She wonders how he can help so many people, without finding the time to help himself.
She feels sleepy, her head rests on the seat. Comparing the plane and the bus, the bus has better seats. She almost wants to sleep during the ride. She has been travelling the entire day on a goose chase for him, and before that, she was travelling on a plane to head for Chicago, yesterday night. Jazmine has probably spent two thousand dollars on tickets and rides, she's gone crazy on her little adventure, a deranged journey to find her childhood friend.
But she doesn't sleep. Only one thing compels her to keep going; Hope.
Unfortunately for her fantasy, she doesn't see him at the bus station, the bus station in Woodcrest is actually deserted and it turns out she is the only one to get off this stop. She calls for another taxi, her 4th taxi for the day, and she tells him the destination on her mind.
She pays him, then gets out, then starts walking. She's tired, exhausted, fatigued. It's like she ran a marathon today. But no matter how much her body tells her to stop, she continues walking. She walks up that hill, slowly, pleading, begging to see him. She traveled hundreds of miles to see him and she calls on God to grant her wish.
And yet.
She stands at their hill alone.
She wanted to scream and she does so. A small whimper in the dark, a small cry of defeat. "Where!? Huey!"
Jazmine has been boy crazy for only a single day and this is where it took her. Many would've given up at the airport, many would've given up at the apartment, and yet here she is with the audicity and tenacity to walk up to their hill and find his presence.
She can't even call her parents and tell them everything or ask for help. but she's supposed to be in Chicago. She wants to cry but she just felt alone. There's no point in crying when there's no one to comfort her, when she's unable to even comfort herself anymore.
Alone. Alone. Alone. Is that where my life will be? My parents are getting a divorce! His grandfather died! I pushed him away! Is this what I get!? Is this my punishment!?
She held back her tears, she held back her grief. Jazmine Dubois is stronger, she's no longer the naive little girl, no longer a terrible liar, no longer unsure of herself. Anyone else with less of a character would have given up at the dorm. Many wouldn't even have the guts to buy a plane ticket on the same day, and many would've given up at the hill that she stands on right now.
But not Jazmine Dubois. She has one final place in mind. She kows Huey Freeman. And when she asks where he could be. She knows.
Huey stands in a grassy field, surrounded by graves and tombstones, alone in the cover of night.
He reads the tombstone in front of him. Here Lies Robert Jebediah Freeman. 1925-2019.
"Hey Granddad."
In his hand are flowers, pure white daisies. To leave daisies on someone's grave is symbol of happiness, deep down, Huey has found some happiness, or at the very least, he's learned to become less sad. He's learned to move on, to feel inspired by Riley by changing his life as well. For two months he has never given himself the chance to mourn, to cry for his death, for the entire time he has had delusions that he was strong and he gave himself excuses to never experience his loss.
But even an emotionless, stubborn man like Huey Freeman needs to cry sometimes.
Sometimes he cries in his nightmares. He would find himself in a night terror and he would push himself to wake up. He wakes himself up because he refuses to even let out a single tear. But he realizes now that he's been in denial with himself. In denial that Huey Freeman would never feel emotions again.
For the first time in months, and in fact for the first time in his life, he mourns. He lets himself feel sorrow overtake him. A tear would drop, then a second one, then a third one. He cries on his grandfather's grave, finally taking in the depth of his loss.
He made sounds that he has never heard himself make, a sniffle, a raspy voice, a cold shiver. These are all new to him.
But as he kneels down on his grave, he sees a figure under a street lamp. In the street is a single light that illuminated the road. A figure enters his view.
He hates crying, his eyes are full of tears, his vision is foggy, and in his grief he struggles to wipe away his tears.
But he sees the figure. A woman. Desperately running at him, she stumbles her way, almost tripping, calling his name.
"Huey!"
He couldn't believe his eyes, he couldn't believe his mind playing tricks on him. He hasn't heard that voice in months.
"Huey!"
It can't be.
"Huey!"
It's her.
"Huey!"
Jazmine
She runs up to him and tackles him in a hug.
"I'm here. I'm here now. You don't have to be alone. I'm here Huey."
Huey tries to pull away his tears, he wants to stop crying, she can't see him like this. He wants to look strong for her, to look presentable, to have composure. Yet all he can do is mourn. He mourns for the man inside the grave, his grandfather, his family.
Jazmine hugs him tightly "It's okay. It's okay baby. I'm here. You can cry... you don't have to be alone."
He sits on his knees, her arms around him, in a graveyard, on a cold summer night. Not a sound could be heard except for the soft sadness of his breath. Jazmine embraces him, she's supposed to be there, she has a promise to keep. He can't be alone anymore, he can't be alone to mourn and she's gonna do everything she can to grieve with him.
"Jazmine."
"Shhh... it's okay Huey. I'm here."
"H-he died, h- I- I didn't get a chance to say goodbye." Huey returns her embrace.
Jazmine consoles him "I'm here Huey... let it out. It's okay."
"I- I didn't get a chance to save him... He just died... I slept in my bedroom while he- he died."
"Shhh... Huey..." Jazmine lets out a few tears of her own, Robert was like family to her as well.
They sit there on their knees, their arms around each other, grieving their loss. They stare at his grave, the dark gray stone catching their gaze. They cry in each other's arms in what seem like days. They hold each other tighter and tighter, trying to share body heat as the cold shivers of their grief overtake both of their bodies.
Jazmine is where she's supposed to be, she should've doen this months ago, she should've done this on the day of his death. But all that matters is that she's here now, with him, when he needs her the most.
Huey finally regains control of himself "I did everything for him. I reminded him to take his pills. I cooked for him, I did all his chores, I took him to see the doctor. Everything. But if- if he decided that it was his time... I should've- I should've gotten the chance to say goodbye."
She doesn't respond, now she is the one who's overwhelmed with sadness.
He continues "I- I did everything- I- It wasn't enough. I should hav-
"You did your best Huey. Y- You're enough. You're enough Huey."
"Jazmine..."
"I'm here for you. You have no idea what I had to do to get to you. But I'm here. And I am NOT going to leave you."
Huey wipes away his tears and pulls a small handkerchief in his pocket. He uses it to gently wipe Jazmine's tears.
She continues. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving, I'm sory for being a bad girlfriend. I should've been here for you. I'm sorry."
Huey sighs and he stands up. There she is, siting there on the grass, her face full of determination, of will, of sincerity. But.
He walks away.
"Huey!" She calls for him.
"Go away."
"Don't push me away."
He glares at her "I can't be with you. We'll only hurt each other."
"Huey, did you hear what i said?! I'm not leaving you!"
At this point they are outside of the graveyard and into the street.
Huey responds "You and I broke our promises."
"Huey Freeman! Stop!"
She puts her foot down, she's is done crying, she's done being scared. She's going to save him from himself. She's not going to let him mourn alone, she's not going to let him protest alone, she's not going to let him work and pass out from exhaustion alone. Within his eyes she sees a void, a blank empty space that had taken the place of her beloved, she knows that he is in pain, in sorrow, in misery, in regret, and to push each other away will doom him.
She doesn't care about what her roommate says, women are not rehab centers for men, women are not personal caretakers or a personal ego boost for men. A man is not going to define her character, and her affection for him is not going to be her most defining trait. She is more than that to Huey, she is his missing piece, a part of his soul, and she is the happiness that he had lost. He had been trying to heal and move on, but all this time, you can't heal what isn't there, and what was there was missing from him.
She calls out to him again "Huey Freeman! Stop! Stop walking away from me!"
They are in the middle of the road. In the crossroads of their life.
Jazmine lowers her voice "Come here."
Huey stops walking away, he stands in the middle of the road, contemplating. Then he turns to her.
"Come here." She repeats herself.
"Jazmine."
"Do you forgive me?"
"I-I... do." He replies.
"Then why are you leaving me?" She asks.
He doesn't respond. She walks closer to him, taking his hand, under the street lamp above them. Without a word, they walk to the streets of Woodcrest, their childhood town, the place where they found each other. She leads him by the hand.
Nearby they find a tree, it looks to be a poplar or a maple tree. It wasn't the oak on their hill, it wasn't a tree that hid them under the night sky, and it wasn't a place where they can lay on the grass and watch the skies.
Jazmine never really remembers how promises have become so prevalent in their lives, but she knows it's a Huey thing, he always thinks logically, too logically in fact. He's more comfortable in contacts, in deals, in promises, and yet she broke it. So she leads him under that poplar-maple looking tree and she faces him. It's not their hill, it's not their oak tree, but she's not going to ruin her moment, she's not going to lead him to a 30 minute walk to their hill. She's sick and tired of living in her perfect fairy tale and she's not going to waste her second chance.
Jazmine holds his hands like she's going to say her wedding vows.
"Huey. I promise to never hurt you, to be there for you. I'll be there when you get lonely, when you smile, and when you cry. I'm never going to push you away, I'm never going to leave your side. I promise to be with you no matter what and to follow you into any trouble, hardship, or obstacle. Because all my life I never knew I could've fallen this much for you. You've taught me, you've helped me, you've given me confidence with myself, you've taught me how to let go of so many of my insecurities. I've always wanted to help others and you showed me the ways and given me strength to help people, you're the reason why I smile, why I laugh, why I love. Please Huey, please forgive me for all the things I said."
Huey pauses, a silence fills the air. He doesn't respond, he just looks in her eyes. She's expecting her eyes to water, to collapse and break, but she maintains her stance. As he looks into her eyes, all he will see is determination and pure unbridled passion.
"Please. Forgive me." She pleads.
Huey sighs, looking down, averting her gaze. She lets go of his hands, thinking it is her cue to leave, she thinks about where she's gonna go, she thinks about getting a taxi then another plane ticket, and she'll be in Chicago before her pare-
"Wait. Don't leave." Huey says.
She stops and she turns to see him.
Huey holds her hands "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too. For everything" Jazmine closes the distance between them.
"I forgive you." They lock onto each other's eyes.
A grin slowly appears on her face, then a smirk, then a smile.
"Does this mean-
Huey cuts her off "Yes."
"I wanna live in our apartment! I want to study with you! I want to do your protests! I want to-
Huey cuts her off for the second time. He cups her cheeks, tenderly and gently, wiping away the tears that she didn't know was there.
"I promise... to love you." Huey says.
"I promise too." Jazmine's mouth slightly shivers, she looks at him and her breath is taken away.
He moves aside her hair, she's messy, she never got time to fix her hair, she's done nothing but frantically run all day. But Huey doesn't care, he's never been more happy to see her, he finally mourned and from now on he's ready to move on. To move on from his tribulations, his suffering, and start a new chapter of his life. With her.
Jazmine moves closer, their shoes touching. "I love y- mMm!"
For the third time, Huey cuts her mid-sentence, his lips were on hers, along with a sudden rush of warmth.
Mhmm
Their bodies connect, her hands drift to his chest. They attacked each other, hungrily, yearning, satisfying each other in a deep longing kiss.
He whispers "pant I missed you."
"Me too. Mhmmm"
They leaned forward, opening their mouths, letting each other in. Gently and timidly, their tongues meet as they pant and breath, then gasp and moan.
Jazmine whimpers "Y-you jerk we haven't d-done this in months. Mhnnn"
"Sorry."
"I wanna Mmm go. Home."
