Day 5 (Friday) of #OQOnHolidaysWeek
27. Regina and Henry are in holidays on a cruise, the same cruise as Robin and Roland. Robin, Regina's ex-boyfriend from college. The first time they face each other, things aren't that simple and a lot of grudge is still present. But as the two kids become friends, their parents are forced to spend time together, and talk about their past…
A/N: Sorry this feels a bit rushed :(
There are only a few places where she can hide from him.
The lido deck is impossible at this hour, few couples lounge in the chairs to watch a movie on the big screen, others lay back to watch the stars as the ship moves slowly to their next destination. But it's almost always near empty, which means she can easily stand out in that tightly fitting blue dress.
The casino could provide a hiding spot, but something about loud machines and elders giving away their money seems unappetizing to her.
She could, perhaps, go to the adults only pool located in the back of the lido deck, but it's often left empty and if he were to just... walk in there he'd be able to spot her instantly.
So, yes, the theater perhaps offers the most darkness and makes it less easy for him to notice her. So she walks there, grateful to see that the show has already started and the theater is near packed. She finds a seat slightly too close to the main entrance, but it's dark he won't notice, and curses instantly why she decided to take this ship, this particular ship.
It seems it's just her luck, that she picked out the ship that would offer the best Kids club to her kid so that he could have fun and meet new friends while she perhaps sipped an overpriced margarita, checking out the sunset in the middle of the sea. It's fitting though, that while she was planning this, Robin-fucking-Locksley was doing the same damn thing. Jesus, there are 52 weeks in a year, and of course fate or someone with a great sense of humor wanted her, wanted him, to pick this one out of the whole year, out of the many years.
Regina scoffs at that, at her luck, and rolls her eyes at herself, only to sigh as she thinks about the past three days.
She had bumped into him while checking out the kid's club and going over the activities, discussing with Henry, her ten year old son, what he wanted to do while on board. But she had frozen on spot, just seeing him there, a cute five maybe six year old kid by his side. He'd been as frozen as her, just staring at her, was about to say something until she raised her hand and his kid called his attention a few feet away from them. She, as was expected, wanted to scream at him in the middle of the room, slap him for what he's done even though she has forgotten most of her college & post-college days. But she'll never forgive him for he broke her heart, and she'd swore off love ever since. Until Henry came along, a child born out of a sperm donor, a simple picture and two pages long file all she has from that man, certainly not a broken heart. She'd gone away fairly quickly after seeing him there, bribed Henry with those brownies in the main dining area that he had been dying to try, and prayed to all the deities that she didn't bump into Robin Locksley in the 7 days of this trip.
It's a big ship, there are thousands of people here. What are the odds?
Of course the odds are the same that got her in this mess in the first time, because it's only day 3 and it's only gotten worse.
She has seen more of him, almost everyday, their kids hitting it off instantly on day 1 of the Kids Club. And it seems they want to spend every waking moment together, talking over something called Steven Universe and Adventure Time, a lot, A LOT, of inside jokes between them. Playing ping-pong when they have the time, or the mini golf, or anything that requires the presence of adults, of two adults, of her and Robin and the unanswered questions of several years ago.
Again, Regina rolls her eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she stares at the dancing and singing happening a few yards in front of her, the sounds not registering in her head.
How pathetic is she, hiding away from an ex in a no more than 360 by 72 meters cruise in the middle of the Caribbean.
And the fucking show tonight isn't even good, not to her.
She considers, for a second, leaving the darkened room, go to the lido deck because at least there will be a good movie playing tonight and wait out until 9pm to pick her kid.
But that's another issue, because she's more than sure that Robin will do the same. But maybe, maybe he's hiding from her too, maybe he's in this very same room considering spending sixty dollars at the casino, his back to everybody that passes by, leaving him unrecognizable.
The main character delivers a one liner, and the packed theatre erupts in cheers and laughter, but Regina can't take it anymore. So she rises from her seat, wobbly for the theater is located in the front of the ship and she can feel the slight swaying of the ship, and walks towards the elevator. She goes up thirteen floors, instantly relaxing the moment she walks out to the lido deck and breathes in the fresh air.
There are a few people around the pool area, lounging, mostly couples like she'd imagined.
The Greatest Showman plays in the big screen, and though Regina adores the movie, she doesn't find herself willing to watch the rest of it and cry in… well, almost public. So she makes a beeline towards the back of the ship, grateful to find the place empty, lounge chairs stacked one on top of the other in a corner and she walks there, and sighs as she slides into the narrow but secluded space between the chairs and the railings of the back of the ship, knowing that if Robin were to stumble upon this part of the ship, he wouldn't be able to see her unless he walks towards the chairs.
At that moment, with the ship slowly moving across the sea, Regina allows all thoughts of Robin to filter her thoughts.
.::.
He should've treaded with more caution with her, precisely because he had been the one that wronged her many years ago. Giving up on their relationship just before it escalated into something more. Marriage. He truly was the man who ran away from a proposal, no matter how in love he had been with her.
But he'd ran, not literally, but internally, his brain coming up with different scenarios, different excuses, all the reasons as to why he couldn't marry her. Why they shouldn't marry.
We're too young.
I still have a lifetime to live.
I don't want to marry.
And it had been that first conversation, those uncareless words that caused a ridge between them. After that every little thing she did became annoying. She was taking too much space on the bed. Her heels were always scattered by the floor and he could trip over them. She was behaving like a bitch over something that happened at work. Until he just couldn't sleep with her anymore. Didn't find a connection with her anymore.
But that's what he used to tell himself. That he was justified in doing what he did, in leaving her, claiming his feelings for her had changed and walking out of the small apartment they excitedly bought a year earlier.
But he wasn't justified in it. Particularly because he left without so much as a decent explanation, leaving behind the best thing that had happened in his life over the fear of long term commitment. He understands it now, now as he recalls the turmoil in her eyes at seeing him there, of all places. Old wounds resurfacing and he'd wanted to apologize, wanted to blurt out the words in front of his kid (and her kid?) and the young lady in charge of his son's activities for the week.
But she had put one hand up, shutting him up instantly as she turned and walked away with her son.
But it only got worse after that first day, seeing her more and more what with their kids getting to know each other more, instantly becoming friends. Yet they haven't spoken, she hasn't even looked his way since Sunday, when they first bumped into each other.
So yes, he thinks now, as he makes his way to the lido deck, that he should've treaded with more caution around her, because he had been the one that hurt her in the end, and if there's something Robin Locksley doesn't want to do, is cause more heartache to Regina Mills.
So from now on. From now on when he sees her, he'll run the other way, giving her the space and respect she more than deserves.
The space and respect he owes her.
Sighing at the thought, Robin walks amongst the rows of chairs, picking one that's closest to the pool and sits on the bottom of it, the voice of Hugh Jackman sounding in the background.
But he'd rather be in a more quiet place, a place where he can think, a place where he can breathe more than the strong chlorine of the Jacuzzi. So Robin stands up, walks along the length of the ship towards the back of it where he knows it'll be empty, where he knows he can spend the next forty five minutes thinking back on his life before he has to pick up Roland (probably face her again but he'll respect her wishes, he'll stay away), hidden away from the world in that spot behind the stack of chairs. Robin walks there, for some reason, looking left and right as if confirming the place is empty (She isn't there) and just when he's about to walk into the narrow space, he sees her, there of all places.
But then again, the odds are against them.
"I'm sorry," is what he says, eyes wide, when Regina turns to face him with a sharp intake of breath.
"Are you serious right now?" She asks on a scoff, head turning to look at the sea again instead of him, anger written clearly all over her face.
"I had no idea that you'd be—"
"I've gone almost crazy trying to find a place where it'll be less likely for us to run into each other and yet here you are. Of course you are, just like you are on vacation, on this specific cruise ship during this specific week," Regina says, rolling her eyes in frustration as she leans forward to rest her weight against the high railings.
"I'm sorry. I truly am," is the only thing he manages to say, still rooted in place because she looks gorgeous, more than gorgeous, with her tightly fitting blue dress and short wavy hair moving everywhere with the wind. She's always been gorgeous, exquisite, beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside, even if he's not in her good graces right now (or ever).
"So that just solves everything, yeah?" Regina says sarcastically, before taking a deep breath and turning to face him. "I want you to stay away from me. Why can't you understand this? Why can't the universe understand this?"
And the pain that courses through his veins at her confession, at her frustration, at her pain, is enough to make him nod, retract slightly from the narrow space and turning around, instantly heading off to the stairs. He runs down the stairs, swallowing hard with every step as he gets closer to the children care floor and area. And it isn't until he's in front of the colorful painted door, that he allows himself to breathe in, allows himself to compose after Regina's confession.
When the clock strikes 9pm, Robin walks into the colorful room and instantly recognizes his son curly hair, talking animatedly to a boy 2 years older than him (Roland had told him), to Regina's son. And though at first Robin had prayed that the bond between the boys wouldn't be as deep (he still feels bad about hoping for that), he now feels his lips curving up into a smile because Roland is hugging his new friend, promising to see him again the day after in the evening and the boy, Henry (just like her father), had nodded enthusiastically, explaining to the boy that he was going to take lots of pictures with the turtles to show him tomorrow.
Robin and Roland leave before Regina shows her face.
.::.
Regina feels… bad.
Guilt eating at her insides as she remembers the night before, remembers screaming at him, letting out her frustrations in quite the display. And even though he deserves it, she also understands that it's been a long time since that happened, and dwelling on the past doesn't do anything other than hold you back from your future.
Regina sighs as she brushes her teeth, understanding that—
No
No
She doesn't need to apologize for her actions (no matter how hard she regrets them), she doesn't owe him any explanation over her slight meltdown, he lost that right the night he walked away on her.
But she remembers the genuine apology, the hurt in his eyes, the rushed way he walked away wanting to give her the space she ached at that moment, because a second later she wanted nothing more than for him to turn to face her and explain why, just why she wasn't good enough for marriage, but someone else was.
"Mom," Henry whispers groggily, as he walks into the bedroom. "Can Roland come with us to swim with the turtles?"
Oh boy.
Oh no.
No. Definitely not.
But the puppy eyes and the slight pouingt wins her over, instantly groaning at herself the moment Henry is out of earshot.
.::.
"I wanted to apologize for yesterday," Regina says after a few long awkward minutes while sitting on a beach chair.
So much for not needing to apologize.
He's sitting too, three chairs down to her right, both parents focused on their kids playing with the sand in the shore.
They'd had fun, more than fun, something she thought wouldn't happen with Robin always close by (Roland is his son, she reminds herself.) But it'd been fun, she hadn't looked his way during the entirety of the day, not even as his kid jumped to her arms when a turtle got too close to him.
"It's okay," he replies, voice soft yet serious, not leaving room for a conversation.
But she feels that it needs to happen, right now, even with their kids thirty feet in front of them, even though she can't, for the love of her, turn to face him, look at him, because if she does, if she makes the mistake of seeing his blue eyes she'll be that twenty one year old again, giddy and lovesick over a man that didn't appreciate her. But she has to say it, has to get things off her chest in order to move forward, truly, in a healthy way. She needs to heal, needs to bury the past six feet under so it's now or never.
"No it isn't. None of this is."
He doesn't say anything at that, just stares straight ahead to the beach.
"The way I reacted last night was uncalled for. So I apologize."
At not receiving an answer, Regina continues.
"But you have to understand where I'm coming from. What would you do if you and the girl who broke your heart found yourselves in the most unexpected of places and you realize you have to spend seven days in the same place as her?"
"I know," is all he says and Regina sighs and chuckle darkly, mulling over her thoughts.
The boys both laugh and scream as they continue to play in the sand, the adults simply staring at them, thoughts a thousand miles away. But she speaks again, after swallowing hard.
"Didn't you think I deserved an actual explanation as to why you left? Did you not think I felt bad every time we fought? Did you think I wouldn't find out when you got married after leaving me? I felt so humiliated, Robin, I still do," she confesses, frowning at the memories of their last night together.
But before Robin has a chance to answer, Regina begins again. "I did everything great. I worked my ass off to save up for a house. Only for you to run away at the first mention of marriage, only to marry someone else? Jesus Christ say something! Did you ever even think about me?!" She lets out a bit louder than she'd intended, and the boys turn to look at her, at him, instantly running to them.
"Mom are you okay?"
"Yes."
"Let's go Roland, we're going back to the ship," Robin says, speaks, finally and helps his son into his sandals, brushing the sand away as they walk to their taxi driver and leaves.
"Did we make him mad?" Henry asks worriedly.
But Regina's quick to assure him, offering a small laugh as she says, "No. Robin was just hungry."
"Oh. Why were you yelling then?"
"It was just an adult conversation," is what she says.
.::.
She doesn't see him that afternoon nor the day after when she takes Henry to the kids club and later that day when she picks him up. Doesn't see him at the pool, at the sky deck, at the dining hall.
Except on the 6th and last night spent on the cruise.
She's at the same place, in that narrow space behind chairs when they had their first altercation a few days earlier. And she's thinking, overthinking about the past few years of her life, over him, over the last few days. But then she's pulled back from her thoughts by a low clearing of his throat, and she turns to face him, throat tightening at the sight of him.
"I was afraid of it," Robin says as greeting, turning to face the dark sea and resting his bent elbows on the railing. "I know it doesn't justify my shitty behavior, but you deserve an explanation. All I've known about marriages is that they slowly destroy the happiness, the comfort that you managed to have during the dating years. And when you suggested it, suggested us marrying I freaked out because in my mind that was the first step into losing you. For some reason I truly believed that marriage would end up costing me who I loved the most, when in reality I was the one who pushed you farther away."
Regina just stares at him, not knowing whether to roll her eyes or let her tears fall.
She opts for the second one.
"I truly loved you—"
"Regina," he begins.
"Let me finish!"
He closes his mouth at that.
"You might have been afraid of marriage, of marrying me. But you never, ever, were afraid of losing me, Robin. Because if you were, if you truly were, you would've returned. You would've explained yourself. You wouldn't have left me believe that I was at fault. That I ruined our relationship. That I pushed you to your limits until you couldn't stand the sight of me, so you ran."
"I came back!" He yells, confessing what has been plaguing his mind for the longest part of the week.
She just stares at him, eyes wide, unbelieving, because there is no way, there is no way that she has spent the last several years overthinking, comparing herself, stressing in vain.
"What?" Regina asks, voice shaky, unbelieving.
Robin just stares at her, emotions raw on his eyes as he shakes his head and swallows hard.
"I came back," he confirms, hands closing on a tight grip. "A week after I left, I came back. I realized what I had done, I realized that I was the only one standing between me and my happiness."
She stays quiet at that, eyes shining with unshed tears at this turn of events.
"I came back Regina. I had a ring, I had everything prepared. But by the time I came to my senses," he says, shaking his head as if trying to rid himself of the memory.
She had already moved away. To Seattle. To new beginnings far away from Boston.
"I had already left," she finishes for him on a whisper, one lone tear falling down her face as she nods, at fate, at her life, accepting the fact.
"I have only one regret in my life," he begins after a moment of silence, of just standing next to each other and processing all their conversation as the cruise moves slowly. "And that is walking out on us that night."
Regina just swallows hard at the confession, at things that she'd wanted to hear many years ago, but now that they've been uttered, now that he's standing right next to her, she doesn't know what to do with the information.
"Robin," she says with a shake of her head, frowning slightly.
But Robin just shakes his head. "It's the truth."
Regina just nods at his determination, before turning to gaze at the sea.
They just stay like that in silence, forgiving, wiping the occasional moisture from their eyes, just staring at the sea. Before he talks again.
"The kids will finish in a little bit. I should head off and take a shower," he says, not meeting her eyes, and she just nods, knowing that's just him asking for some time, the same time that she was going to ask for him.
She doesn't see him that night when she goes to pick up Henry.
.::.
It must be like five in the morning, or earlier, but there's a slight persistent knocking against her door. Groggily, Regina sits up in bed, spares a glance at Henry who sleeps soundly next to her, and heads to open the door.
And if she finds excitement at the sight of him smiling gently on the other side of the door, she says nothing, just rolls her eyes as he beckons her to an early coffee, the first and last they'll ever have on this cruise.
And that morning, over a cup of lukewarm coffee and staring at the changing colors between dawn and sunrise, Regina and Robin consider what it would be like to give this, give them another try.
And after months of developing a friendship, of talking, of visiting each other, of healing & forgiving, to the excitement of their kids, they're finally able to try again.
And this time they succeed.
