Copyright: I don't own final fantasy 8. I think everyone already knew that. Don't own the lyrics in this chapter they are from 'Left behind' by VNV nation.
Note: ok, well here is the latest chapter. Again not a lot of action, but still quite interesting. Well I think it is hehe. Ok thank yous . Again Rinoa the wastelander, kirsten and SavannahX for reviewing my work (and to ironicending for reviweing my other peice!) and To the two usual suspects Wayne for being awesome and always reading my work and for all the cool emails. And to Hannah for helping me find a song for this chapter, she set me up with these lyrics. And also as always for rocking socks. Well hope everyone enjoys the story
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Rinoa shivered as she sat in the cold, rundown orphanage building. She had no idea why she came here. She was just drawn to it, almost like her head had followed her feet instead of the other way around. She wrapped her arms around herself trying to keep the bitter morning cold away as tears streamed down her face.It was not quite light and not quite dark. The sun had risen, but the morning was dull and rainy.
So afraid to open your eyes
You know too well that which awaits you
Something undefined there in the halflight
The demon without
The demon inside to plague and torment you
Feeling so sure, feeling so uncertain that something is wrong
Everyone's gone and you have been left behind
Everyone left the demon inside
The only sound in the orphanage was the wind whistling through the old building and the waves crashing on the shore bellow. But suddenly the relative silence was broken. The tormenting voice once again began to speak to Rinoa.
"Do not cry, dear child. This is not the end of the road, it is merely the beginning of a new path. The path you were destined for. You have finally freed yourself from the lies that you lived."
"But" Rinoa sobbed "I don't want this life. I just want to go back to my..friends"
The voice let out a short laugh 'You are so naïve child. Friends. You had no friends. No real ones anyway. Do you honestly believe that anyone could accept you, knowing what you really are. You seem to be forgetting so easily your true self. You, are a sorceress."
"N-no. That's not who I am. Stop trying to make me evil. I..I wont let you win" Rinoa cried
"Ah, my dear girl. I have already won. I have cut the ties that bound you to your 'normal' life. You were so easily tricked. So little faith you had in yourself it was easy to get you here. A little trick of the mind, plant a vision or two in your head and how convinced you were that you were responsible for death and suffering"
"Wait.." She stammered "You tricked me! I didn't hurt anyone. Why would you do that to me?" She buried her head in her knees, her mind swirling from confusion or hurt.
"It was merely a means to an end my child. I had to place doubt in your mind, tear you away from the life you had built, the bonds you had formed to see your true path. You knew this is how it would end for you Rinoa. It was unavoidable. You were not destined for a life of good, no matter how much you pretended you were. You are a sorceress. Hated, feared. Everyone you knew, everyone you loved was afraid of you really, but you thought they cared You thought you were accepted."
"I was" Rinoa mumbled. This conversation seemed oddly familiar to her.
"My dear child. Who do you see around you now? The moment there was any doubt in their minds, any hint that the evil in you, the true self, was rising within and they ran a mile. Even one who claimed to feel so strongly for you, where is he now, this Knight of yours?"
Rinoa suddenly full of anger lifted her head "Don't talk about him!" she hissed at the voice. "Why wont you just leave me alone?"
"Ahh my child you are alone. As destiny intended so you can follow the true path of a sorceress. You can have power…"
Rinoa lowered her head again "I don't want power… I just want my life back. I…..I just want Squall"
The voice chuckled "But as you see he does not want you. Not now things are difficult. I must say I thought he would be the strongest tie to break, he was perhaps who I thought would save you form your true path that he considers to be evil. But how simple that was. The love, the promises it was all fake…"
Rinoa clasped her hands over her ears "stop it" she wailed
"…..it was all a mess, a lie…love could not exist for such an evil creature as you, really you were always alone" The taunting voice laughed "poor little witch. Deluded by dreams of a night. False as they were!"
"Stop it!" Rinoa screamed again, tears consuming her completely .She dropped her head into her hands. "He loved me" she whispered to herself. And she whispered it to herself again and again as she rocked back and forward in the cold, empty orphanage trying to drown out the evil laughter of the voice..
You never forget the faces that haunt you
Unable to sleep
Unable to fight
Unwilling to wake to open your eyes
to face your oppressor
Still you go on convinced it will end?
As the hours passed Rinoa shut her eyes tightly shut and tried to imagine she was anywhere but where she actually was. But no matter how hard she tried she could not shut out the cold wind or drown out the tormenting voice.
"Dear child do you still not wish to believe me? You can wish and pray all you like that it had not turned out this way, and you can hope and dream that one day your knight will come to save you. Carry on if you like. But you're heart will be broken when you discover you have been left behind completely. Perhaps these people, you're friends, will haunt you forever, as a lesson. A lesson that you can not hide what you are. Empty hope, like empty promises, always fades away. Dear child, I do not wish to harm you. I am on your side. I accept the true you. Stay here and you will be safe, you will live as your true self. Trust me child, you have no one else. If you return home how do you think people will act towards you. They consider you to be evil, you'll be persecuted, punished maybe even killed. I'm offering you a better life than that. I'm offering you the power. please child, believe me."
Can you remember
a day when it was not, not like this?
Unsure of yourself, unsure of your thoughts
Unable to know if what you think is right or wrong
Still you go on convinced it will end
"I don't know what to believe anymore" Rinoa sighed "I don't want this life. I want to believe in good, and in love. I want to believe in what I've lived."
Rinoa closed her eyes tightly and thought back to that one important moment, the moment she was promised a knight who would protect her forever.
"I'll be here"
"Why"
"I'll be waiting here"
"For what"
"I'll be waiting for you. So if you come here. You'll find me. I promise"
"Rinoa was half comforted by the memory, but half angered. "I came here Squall. But you weren't here…you didn't find me."
Like someone pushes a blade through your mind
There on the edge where no-one will find you
Is there no light at the end for you
"And so you see love is a lie dear child. You want to believe in memories, in promises made to you by someone you trusted, someone you loved. You cling to memories while falling so far. You cling to promises so empty that they were barely more than fantasy. What did that promise come to? Dear child, I am not the enemy. I am here for you now, when your knight is not. I am all you have"
"Maybe..you're right. But I…I thought he'd come" she broke down into a fresh wave of tears "he lied to me"
'You must move on. Let you're pain be replaced with anger, and your tears replaced with power. He betrayed you. Like the rest of them he suspected you. My child, he is a SeeD, he is trained to be you're enemy. Even if he comes, you can not be sure if it will be to save you, or stop you. My child you must recognise you're enemy now, or you will fall"
Rinoa felt all the confusion in her mind mix with anger and pain. She felt herself, her thoughts slipping away, as if she was being taken over. She felt only a small part of herself remain. That part of her knew that maybe on Squall could save her. But her mind was in confrontation with itself, and her hope was shattered by the other half of her believing that he would never come to her. Everything had become to much. She sat down and pulled her body closer to her own knees, holding on so tightly her knuckles went white. She whispered to herself everything that was going on in her mind "he loved me. He promised me. ..But he never came." She clenched her eyes shut and rocked back and forward constantly whispering all her conflicting thoughts to herself.
Nothing is wrong
You were not left behind
So open your eyes, So open your eyes
Unable to sleep, Unable to fight
Unwilling to wake
Please open your eyes, For here I stand
Nothing is wrong
Please open your eyes
Nothing is wrong
You were not left behind
As she sat there she heard footsteps. She heard them travel up the steps to the door, which swung open a few seconds later. She lifted her head and blinked through her tears at the figure standing in the door way. Wiping her eyes with her hand, she inhaled with shock as her view became clear.
"I found you" Squall said .
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Well thanks for reading this chapter. Theres 2 or 3 more till the end.now. Glad you're still sticking with the story though. i promise the next chapters good!
