"Tactical!" roared Zim, knowing he had to get in the first shot. He was an invader, after all, a proud emissary of the Irken war machine, and not given to simply talking with potential enemies. "Bring all weapons to bear on the intruder!"

The hull of the Voot Runner quivered as its energy weapons powered up, and Zim began pressing buttons and pulling levers, adjusting his targeting sensors on the approaching ship. Static then crackled through his ship's audio receivers, and he adjusted a small dial back and forth until he could make out the incoming transmission.

" ... to identify yourself," queried a soft yet domineering female voice. "This is Captain Leela of the Planet Express Ship ..."

"And Bender!" followed a mechanical tone.

"And Fry!" added an upbeat, moronic tongue.

"Guys, quit it!" snapped the voice called Leela. "Attention, ship, I ask you again to identify yourself. This is ..."

"I AM ZIM!" barked a pompous, overbearing voice from the other end. "You will halt your course and surrender to the Irken armada!"

He had decided to humor himself and talk to the enemy, especially since his weapons weren't fully charged yet and he didn't want to attack at fifty percent power, even if he could detect no energy shielding on the other craft, which had slowed its flight to almost a stop. He wanted tersely for their reply ...

"Ow!" came Leela's pained response. "You want to yell a little louder next time, buddy? I think I can still hear out of one ear!"

"Lucky for you, you've only got one eye to see out of, Leela," chuckled Bender. "It's a perfect match! Ha ha ha ha ha - ow! Oh god, the pain!"

There had been an audible ringing sound, like something soft banging hard against a hollow metal object, and then just silence on the other end until the one called - Fried, was it? - spoke up again.

"Geez, Leela, you didn't have to hit Bender that hard!"

Who were these strange people, thought Zim to himself, his mighty Irken brain analyzing and ascertaining. Had he heard right, that the captain only had one eye and one ear? Was she an alien like himself, or some sort of freakish human? He was almost positive the one called Bender was a robot, but the Fried one sounded human, too - human and stupid and annoying, just like Dib. And ... wait a minute, he had told them to surrender!

"I repeat myself!" barked Zim into his comlink. "I am Zim ..."

"And I'm Gir!" piped up the little automaton in the background, before munching down a tenth chicken wing, the sound more than audible on the other end of the communication to the space delivery crew.

"Quiet, Gir! As I was saying ..."

"Yeah, your name is Dim," shot back Bender mockingly across the void, "and you want us to surrender. Well, Planet Express doesn't surrender to anybody, jerk!"

"Fool!" snarled Zim across space. "It is Zim, and you will pay for your insolence ..."

"Bite my shiny metal ass!" quipped Bender. Gir sat up attentively, spilling chicken wings while wondering what this Bender was really made of - and if he would be tasty ...

"Everybody, put a sock in it!" snapped Leela. "Look, Zim, we just want to talk. We saw you sitting there and wanted to know if you needed any assistance."

Zim was ready to growl another hateful response when he heard a pinging sound and saw a small pink light both going off on his console, indicating his prototype energy cannons, mounted just for this very flight, were fully charged. He smiled, small at first, but then wider and wider, his body beginning to shake, more and more, until finally he was cackling in full megalomanical mode, eyes closed and teeth and tongue fully bared.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! It is you who will require assistance, human filth!" he screamed shrilly, and then depressed the trigger, the Voot Runner's sights locked squarely on the Planet Express ship ...

TBC