"Alert!" they cried. "Alert! Citizens of New New York are requested to be on the lookout for a small green alien and accompanying droid wanted in connection with recent incidents of vandalism and head-napping at the NNY Museum of Natural & Current History. Suspects are approximately four feet tall and considered armed and dangerous. Citizens should make every possible attempt to apprehend perpetrators so police do not have to bother. Thank you, that is all."
Zim began to sweat, and he peered out of the alley with great caution, hoping no other police personnel were present. All week long he and Gir had been able to walk around with impunity in their natural forms, but now it was time to return to a routine he had grown to know well, that of impersonating a filthy Earther. His PAK shook with some internal activity and suddenly both Zim and Gir were bathed in translucent green light as holograms shadowed their forms. Seconds later the light coalesced into a semblance of actual physical clothing, with Zim appearing as a bearded old man with hat and coat and Gir outfitted in his familiar green dog suit. The clothes were merely beams of solidified light, but they would suffice for a while, especially with their actual disguises still located back at Planet Express inside the Voot Runner.
"That's better - I think," said Zim. "Come, Gir!"
He grabbed hold of Gir's holographic leash and dragged him along, Gir humming happily to himself. Planet Express headquarters was less than a half-mile away, if Zim remembered correctly, and although it would be faster for them to just have Gir attain rocket mode, it was just too risky with the omnipresent police bulletins. Zim knew had to get back to his temporary home of the last week and get the Voot Runner ready for the return trip to 21st Century Earth. He had had enough of the 30th Century and its people, and now it was time to get back to a place where the people were less technologically advanced, far stupider intellectually, and absolutely ripe for Irken conquest. Yes, Zim grinned, shaking his free fist. Back to the past, where I ...
They rounded a corner just a few blocks from their destination and ran smack dab into the human cop and his robotic partner who always seemed to be on duty in New New York.
"Hey," snapped the human officer. "Watch where you're going, shorty!"
The comment angered Zim, but he didn't want to blow his cover if he could help it.
"Sorry, officer," he replied in a low, exaggerated voice. "My dog and I did not see you standing there."
"You got a license for that dog?" asked the robot cop in his Barry White-like tone, pointing at the disguised droid, who sat there motionless and staring.
Zim didn't have an answer at the ready for that inquiry.
"Uhhhh..." was all he managed to get out.
"What, you mean he doesn't have a license?" asked the human cop, unfastening an illuminated nightstick from his belt and steadily pounding it into the palm of his left hand.
"Well ..." stammered Zim, starting to sweat again.
"I think maybe we need to take you two down to the station house," offered the robotic office. "Check you and your dog for everything else, while we're at it."
"Okey-dokey!" squeaked Gir, but Zim knew the time for pretense had passed.
"Gir!" shouted Zim. "Time to reveal your mighty robot form!"
He stabbed a finger at a band on his wrist and the holographic clothing shrouding both Zim and Gir dissolved to reveal their true forms.
"Hey, it's ..." started the human cop, before he was rendered unconscious by a blast of freon from Zim's PAK that flash-froze him in place.
"What the ..." began the robot cop before Zim's PAK hit him with an electromagnetic pulse that scrambled the robot's systems before shutting them down altogether. Gir was also caught up in the blast, but since his systems were almost always scrambled, the EMP actually locked him into duty mode, coloring him red and silver.
"Reporting for duty, sir!" he saluted his master.
"Take me to the Planet Express!" postured Zim, one hand on his hip and the other pointing to the sky as he turned to look at Gir. "But no rockets!"
"Affirmative!" responded Gir, and he picked Zim up over his head and carried him swiftly through the streets.
The Planet Express crew had by now exited the museum and begun the trek back to their base, with some of them wondering if they should just cab it back. Leela shook her head.
"Zim and Gir are so small they could be anywhere," said Leela. "If we take a cab, we could pass them right by and never know it."
"But they're way ahead of us! " cried Fry.
"I know, Fry," countered Leela, "but even if we got into a taxi right this minute, Gir's exhaust trail is already dissipating. We'll split up and look around, and then we'll meet in one mile back at headquarters. They can't haven't gotten too far on those little jets."
"You hope not," said Bender, starting his own smoke trail with his cigar. Leela scowled at him, but then she quickly split them up into three teams in the Professor and Hermes, Amy and Dr. Zoidberg, and the former New Justice Team. They raced off in separate directions, with Leela and company far outpacing everyone else.
"Finally, I'm part of a team!" said Zoidberg gleefully as he and Amy went off down a different street.
Professor Farnsworth held Hermes back with one arm until the others were out of sight.
"Screw this, let's get a cab!" said The Professor indignantly.
"Right with you, mon," smiled Hermes as he raised his right arm to flag down a checkered hovercraft. "Taxi!"
Gir kicked open the main door of the Planet Express headquarters and brought Zim inside, the automaton still in duty mode and still carrying his master over his head. He then dropped Zim unceremoniously by the Voot Runner, still nestled in the shadow of the Planet Express Ship.
"Oof!" cried Zim as hit the floor with more than a little bit of force. "Careful, Gir!"
"Apologies, sir!" said Gir, snapping to attention and saluting.
"Never mind," replied Zim, waving his hand as he approached the landing bay controls situated on the nearest wall and pulled a lever, pointing at Gir while he did so. "Scan local weather patterns for possible lightning strikes!"
Gir looked up towards the heavens as the bay roof peeled back and revealed the sun, still burning strongly in the 30th century. Information raced through his mechanical brain, much sharper and more reliable when he was locked into his current form of operation.
"I am detecting no impending precipitation or electrostatic charge buildup," replied the red-eyed Gir in a cold mechanical tone. "Building roof is also rimmed with lightning rods, to dissipate any possible atmospheric electrical strikes!"
Zim's squeedily spootch sank.
"No lightning?" he said, more to himself than to Gir. He looked almost mournfully at the Voot Runner, which he had remotely keyed into a self-diagnostic and repair mode, but without sufficient energy to crack open the space/time barrier, fixing the ship meant nothing.
"How will I possibly generate approximately 1.21 gigawatts of power with no lightning?" growled Zim, his melancholy fading and his anger now rising as he shook a fist at the sun. Perhaps he could harness solar energy - but no, that would take far too long, he thought, and he had to do something before those Planet Express fools got back.
The answer came from behind him.
"Sir!" shouted Gir in militaristic fashion. "Sensors indicate that main engine of Planet Express Ship can generate at least 1.21 gigawatts of power when vessel is traversing the vacuum of space at full speed!"
Zim felt his hopes rising again as he looked back at his small friend. Gir was saluting his commander, no hint of emotion on his face, until suddenly he began sparking and shaking all over. Zim was taken aback, fearing Gir was about to explode and leave him all alone, but in actuality the EMP had almost entirely dissipated and Gir's programming was returning to its normal, brain-damaged mode. He changed from red to cyan yet again and then collapsed face first onto the floor, still saluting.
"Hi floor, make me a sammich!" he squeaked, just like he had all those months ago at the library when Zim had managed to bring him out of duty mode at the last possible second before he would have terminated his master. Apparently all that had been forgotten, and just as well, Zim mused.
Zim looked up at the exhaust of the Planet Express ship, as smiled wickedly as his mighty Irken brain began formulating a fantastic plan to get them both back home. And he began to laugh, as only Invader Zim could laugh ...
TBC
