AN: Sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything – I've been crazy busy with school. I'll do my absolute best to be better in the future, so please stay with this story. There's lots of drama yet to come!

Chapter Six

Three painful memories

Hermione sat in one of the chairs in front of the fire in Snape's office. She was so nervous and her pulse was beating so wildly that she imagined that Snape could her the pumping of her treacherous heart through the stone walls that separated the office from his storage room. Just the thought of Snape poking through her mind with Legilimency to look at some of her most private memories with Ron was enough to send her stress level through the roof. But she knew that it was necessary. This was something that had to be done. She had to confront her fears, and in order for Snape to help her, he had to know what had happened so that he knew what he was dealing with.

She heard Snape coming out of the storage room and when he sat down in the chair next to her she wanted to get up and run. She didn't want to relive those memories. As if he knew what she was thinking, Snape suddenly said:

"Must I restrain you to that chair, Miss Granger, or will you stay seated on your own?"

Hermione just gave him a sour look. Honestly, like she was going to take off running just because she was a bit nervous about her mind being assaulted.

"Very well then," Snape said and then gave her a penetrating gaze. "What has Mr Potter told you of his Occlumency lessons?"

"Um, not very much. He just said he didn't like it, that it felt like you were trying to pry open his mind with a screwdriver and that you were using the lessons as a way of torturing him."

Snape looked at her in a way she couldn't quite decipher.

"Sorry about my bluntness, sir," she offered, thinking that perhaps he had reacted to her straightforwardness.

He shook his head and waved her apology away.

"No, no, there's no need to apologize for stating the truth. I can understand why Mr Potter felt like I was abusing him during those lessons. I was not as... gentle with him as I could have been," he admitted and then got to his feet to readjust his chair – he needed to be right in front of Hermione to cause her as little discomfort as possible. "That will not be the case here, Miss Granger. I will be gentle and when you feel the need for a pause, I will break the connection immediately."

He tilted his head as he watched her. She was not as tense as she had been a minute ago, he could tell.

"Are you ready?" he asked softly.

Hermione took a deep breath and then another. She looked down at her hands as she tried to still her anxiety. Then she met the Potions Master's gaze and nodded.

"Legilimens," Snape whispered carefully.

The next second both of them screamed in pain as a shining white light erupted in their minds. The connection was broken a second later. Hermione was on her side on the floor, rolled up like a ball and she was panting madly, her eyes tightly shut to block out any kind of light. Snape was still in his chair, his eyes were also closed and his mouth agape in shock. What on earth had happened?

"Miss Granger?" he called, slowly opening his eyes. "Miss Granger, are you alright?"

She whimpered, but answered "yes" in a shaky whisper. He got down on his knees to help her back up into the chair. He noticed that her eyes were still shut.

"Open your eyes, Miss Granger. The white light is gone."

"No... No, it isn't. I can still see it. It feels like my head is burning. It's so bright that it makes looking at the sun bearable. It's so bright that it makes me long for everlasting darkness."

Snape frowned, not liking the sound of the scenario she described. He didn't understand at all what was going on with her or what had happened to cause him so much pain as well, and he didn't like it one bit. He grabbed her arms gently and steered her back to the chair, where she immediately buried her face into the soft fabric, a low moan escaping her lips. Whatever it was that he had seen, it was evident that the light was causing Hermione much more harm. He had to end this, now. Thinking fast, he quickly calculated what was different between Hermione and all the others he had cast Legilimens on. There was one major factor that caught his attention right away – the witch in front of him had damaged her magical core.

Was Legilimency somehow disrupting her core even more?

That didn't make sense to him, but it was the only logical reason for why this had happened. So without further ado, he quickly made up his mind about what to do next.

"Miss Granger, I need you to concentrate on ending this pain and by doing that you need to say the words 'Finite Incantatem'. However, you should not say them out loud – you need to say them inside your head, speaking explicitly to your magical core. If nothing happens, say it again and again until the light starts fading."

Hermione whimpered again, but nodded slowly – her eyes were still tightly shut. Snape could see that this was working. She was slowly becoming less tense and after a few minutes she carefully opened her eyes. She looked confused and exhausted.

"What was that?" she wondered, and she winced when she heard how weak her voice was.

Snape gave her a look that was almost apologetic.

"If I knew that, it never would have happened in the first place. The only possible explanation I can find is the state of your magical core. We will not be trying that again."

Hermione frowned as she thought his words over.

"What will we do instead of that spell then, Professor? Don't you need to see the memories?"

He turned around in his seat and looked gravely at something in the other side of the room. Hermione followed his gaze and her eyes landed on the Pensieve sitting on the corner of his desk. They looked at each for a moment, Snape giving her calculating fierce look, while Hermione immediately got nervous.

"I don't suppose I have a choice?" she asked.

Snape shook his head slowly.

"It is truly the only way."

Hermione sighed, but then she toughened up. It was her memories – surely it couldn't be worse watching them like she was watching a movie, right?

"Fine. What must I do?"

"You will do nothing but sit back and relax – you will focus on the first couple of months where everything went wrong with Mr Weasley, and I will get three relevant memories out of your head."

During his speech, Snape had whipped out his wand and produced three glass vials out of thin air. Hermione in the mean time frowned as his words settled in her mind.

"Is that the way it works? I concentrate loosely on a time time period and you find three relevant memories?"

Snape smirked at her – even now she couldn't restrain herself from asking question, to seek knowledge so that she could learn more.

"That is the way it works if the person performing the spell know what he is doing."

"And you know what you are doing... Sir?"

Snape almost looked insulted. His eyes narrowed a fraction and looked ready to bite her head off.

"Of course. Now sit back and do as I instructed."

Hermione sighed, but did however settle comfortably in the chair. She closed her eyes, feeling that this would help her concentrate and then she searched her memory for the time when the Ron she had loved had turned into the Ron she now feared. She heard the Potions Master murmur something and the next moment her temple prickle three times before Snape said that they were done. She looked at the vials and saw that they were filled with some kind of silvery substance.

"Now what?" she wondered, sounding quite apprehensive.

Snape got to his feet and gave her a piercing look.

"Now we watch them, Miss Granger. It is that simple."

She followed him to the shallow stone basin, feeling quite astonished that she was so calm. However, as soon as Snape started pouring the first silvery substance into the basin, her calm was exchanged with a swift feeling of pure panic.

"Miss Granger, I will use force in order to get you watch this if I must – I would prefer if that didn't occur, but this is something we will do together. You must confront your fear while I search for clues. Understood?"

Hermione's eyes were wide with surprise and fear. Snape sighed.

"You must remember that we are dealing with memories and that you cannot be harmed. If nothing else, remember that I will be right there with you and I will not let anything happen to you."

His voice was soft and he spoke quietly, as if he was trying to comfort a child – even if Hermione no longer was a child, she did feel comforted and as she took a deep breath, she gave him a trusting glance.

"After you, Miss Granger."

She leaned in over the Pensieve and a moment later she felt herself being transported out of Snape's office into something much more like a dream.

(AN: If longer passages are written in italics, then it's something that Severus and Hermione are doing or thinking, and is not connected to the memory.)

Hermione had cooked a nice meal and was currently setting the table. She had taken out candles and had uncorked a bottle of wine. After glancing at the clock on the wall she hurried out to kitchen and took out a tray of freshly baked bread from the oven. At the same moment, Ron opened the door and entered with a smile on his face.

"Hermione, have you been cooking?" he called as he put down a training bag on the floor. "I don't think so – it smells much too good for this meal being your doing."

"Oh, do shut up, you prat," Hermione said affectionately as she came out to the hall and pecked his cheek. "I've followed the instructions in the recipe for your mother's minced pies like I was making a potion. They should be delicious."

Ron smiled and Hermione led him to his seat at the small two-people table. He sat down, Hermione poured him some wine and then she went to the kitchen to get the pies and the bread. When she came back and served him food, he suddenly said;

"This is great, Hermione. There's nothing better than coming home to a home cooked meal. It should always be like this."

Hermione sighed as she sat down.

"I've told you before, I will not stay in the house like your mum."

"What's wrong with my mum?" he demanded, pausing his intense chewing..

Hermione rolled her eyes as she started cutting up her pie.

"There's nothing wrong with your mum, Ron, and that is not what I said – all I said was that I don't want to be a housewife, like she is."

Ron still hadn't started chewing again.

"And what's wrong with being a housewife?"

"There's nothing wrong with it and you'll never hear me say that there is. I just want more out of life than staying at home with the kids and doing all the cooking and cleaning. I want a career."

Ron started chewing again and simply waved away her comment with his hand.

"A career? Why would you want that? You have me to provide for you. There's no need for you to worry your little head about getting some random job."

Hermione put her fork down and gave him an icy stare.

"You know very well that I want a job. During all my years at Hogwarts I've told both you and Harry about my plans for the future, so don't act like you're surprised in me telling you this!"

"Yeah," Ron scoffed and stuffed his mouth with pie, "but that was before you had a man to take care of you. Besides, you used to talk about working in the Ministry, but you never had a clear view of what you wanted to do."

"You're right about me not knowing what to do then," Hermione offered and Ron looked immensely pleased at that. "And I don't want to work at the Ministry."

Ron helped himself to another pie while Hermione took another bite of her own.

"Great! I'm glad we got that sorted," he said, clearly seeing an end to the discussion. "Now, what do you think we should bring to Luna and Neville's engagement party?"

"What do you mean 'we got that sorted'? I'm not done yet! I said that I don't want to work at the Ministry – that doesn't mean I don't want a career. I want to become a Potions Mistress."

Dead silence. Ron stopped chewing for a second time. Before he could retort, Hermione plowed on:

"So I'm going back to Hogwarts for my final year – I'll need an O in my N.E.W.T exam in Potions and a full diploma to be able to study potions at a higher level."

"No."

Hermione started and gave him a surprised look. She stared at him in wonder.

"I'm sorry, did you just say 'no'?"

"You're not going," Ron said as he glowered at her.

Hermione cringed, remembering exactly how she had felt that evening. She had questioned Ron's character simply by hearing him say "no", but it had passed later on. He had always made up for the things he said to her afterwards and she had always forgiven him, believing him when he had told her that his temper was a family trait.

"Who the hell do you think you are, telling me that I'm not going to finish my education? I am going, Ron. The sooner you accept that, the better."

Ron threw his knife and fork down on the table.

"I can't afford to live here on my own, Hermione!" he growled and gestured with arms to the flat. "So can you stop being so selfish and stay here?"

"Excuse me? You can't afford to live here alone? Then how the hell do you expect us to survive on one salary so that I can stay home to do the cooking and the cleaning?" she demanded.

Ron looked taken aback for a moment, as he if hadn't thought about that.

"And I don't think I'm the one being selfish here, Ron. You're the one who's trying to dictate my life, telling me that I can't go and finish my schooling and saying that I don't need a career since you have decided that I should become a replica of your mother – but even she has a Hogwarts diploma, Ronald! You cannot keep me from going and if your try, you will wish that you never had met me."

She stormed from the table, but when she suddenly heard him yell "Stupefy!" she instinctively dropped to the floor to dodge the stunner. When she reappeared behind the couch she had her wand drawn and pointed at him.

Hermione looked at Snape, trying to see what he was thinking. His expression was quite passive, but his eyes were slightly widened and his mouth had thinned into a line.

"Are you bloody out of your mind, Ron? Trying to stun me from behind? I think you should sleep at Harry's tonight," she said coldly.

They stared at each other in silence, both of them searing with anger for two very different reasons.

Hermione felt the scene in front of her change. Suddenly she no longer was standing in the flat she had called home just a few days ago. They were now standing on the grounds of Hogwarts, down by the lake, observing another heated discussion between Ron and Hermione, right after she had graduated.

"Ron, why can't you just to be happy for me? It's not my fault that I became the highest scoring graduate in fifty years!"

Ron's eyes hardened.

"Then who's bloody fault is it, Hermione? You've always been such an over-achiever."

"That's just the way I am, Ron! I like studying, I like to learn new things. It's not my fault that I remember the things I read!"

Ron just shook his head and stared off over the lake. The tranquil calm of the water did not suit the mood between the two.

"Whatever. Now you've got your precious diploma, so now you can just come home and everything will be fine."

"I'm sorry, 'everything will be fine'?" Hermione said as her eyes narrowed. "I'll be going again in the fall to study Advanced Potions Making, remember?"

Ron gave her a hard look and then started rummaging for something in his cloak.

"Yeah, about that. I've found a course like the one you described that is held twice a week, three hours in the middle of the day per session, in Diagon Alley," he said as he waved what was an application in the air. "You can live at home and still have time to take care of the household."

He looked pleased with himself. Hermione looked furious.

"If you had said that you had found this course so that you wouldn't have to be parted from me any longer, I might have considered it, ignoring the fact that taking this course would ensure that I would have to study three times as long as if I went to the one I've already decided on. But since you want me to take this course so that I will have time to 'take care of the household', you can throw that application into the lake."

Snape tilted his head, intrigued despite himself to see how the imbecile would react to that little speech.

Ron glared at her and then gave her a calculating look.

"I've already sent the application in – this is just a copy. I knew you'd be difficult about this, so I went ahead and signed you up for it."

Hermione looked speechless.

Snape's eyes narrowed in disgust.

"I... you... what?"

Ron just rolled his eyes and started going back up to the castle.

"I'll take your trunk home – I'll see you when you're done with the reporters."

The image of Hogwarts slowly dissolved.

When they came up from Pensieve, neither Snape nor Hermione spoke for quite some time. It was Hermione that finally broke the silence.

"You must think I'm insane to have stayed with him for so long," she whispered, glancing at her feet as she spoke.

"I am not here to judge you, Miss Granger, I am here to observe these memories in an attempt to help you," Snape said in a reassuring way. "We will not discuss this now. We have two more memories to watch."

Hermione simply nodded and watched as Snape poured the contents of the next vial into the basin. He gave her a nod and then without further ado, they entered the next memory.

They were back in the flat Hermione had shared with Ron, this time in the bedroom. Hermione looked around, trying to pinpoint what evening they were about to witness.

Hermione sat in their bed, reading up on the theories of the Wolsfbane Potion. Every now and then she glanced at the clock on the nightstand – it was past midnight and Ron was still not home. As if on cue, she heard him apparate in to the living room. Then she frowned as she heard a second 'pop'.

"Look, Harry, I don't want to talk about it anymore!" she heard Ron yell. "You got in, I didn't, that's not so bloody shocking, now is it? Once again Ronald Weasley has proven to everyone that he is a loser! Just leave me alone!"

Hermione's eyebrows shot up in surprise and she hurried out of bed to stand closer to the door.

"Ron, you know we don't think that!" she heard Harry plead with him. "I know we always talked about going on to become Aurors together, but sometimes things change. Maybe there's something that you're better suited to do than dedicate your life as an Auror."

"Of course there's something else I'm better suited for, since obviously I'm too stupid to make it as an Auror. I'll end up serving under George at the joke shop and I'm sure that will suit me just perfectly. There's no logical thinking, no need to place myself in dangerous situations I'm too dimwitted to get out of and George, of course, will not have me doing anything with the products other than selling them – I'll most likely burn down the place otherwise."

The resentment and the sarcastic tone of his voice did not go unnoticed by Hermione – she moved as if to walk out into the room to comfort him, but the next moment she hesitated.

"Ron, you know I don't think you're too stupid to become an Auror and neither does Hermione. You must understand that. I'm sorry you didn't get in, mate, I really am."

"Yeah, well, I'd probably get sacked after a few weeks later anyway when they notice that I'm no where near as clever as the boy-who-lived."

"Please don't call me that. You of all people should know how much I hate that name."

"Oh, right, sorry, I forgot that we are never allowed to call you things that might make you upset. Fancy having such a problem instead of the minor problem I'm having."

Hermione heard Harry sigh.

"I'm going home. There's no point talking to you at the moment. I'll come by in a few days."

There was a 'pop' and then it sounded as if Ron chucked a vase into the wall. Hermione suddenly decided to go out to him.

Hermione and Snape followed, after sharing a apprehensive glance. Hermione knew what was going to happen in the next few minutes, and she would rather not see it, but she didn't want Snape to think that she was weak.

"Ron? Are you alright?"

Ron whirled around, his eyes blazing with anger.

"How long have you been standing there?" he demanded through clenched teeth.

Hermione looked past him and saw that he had indeed broken a vase – the one she had gotten from her grandmother when she graduated. The one that was made out of crystal and was worth almost a thousand pounds. The one that her grandmother had been saving for since the day she was born.

"Ron, do you realize that the vase you just broke is worth two hundred Galleons?"

Ron's eyes widened for a moment and he gave the million shattered pieces a quick glance before he repeated his question.

"I heard you apparate in," she heard, her eyes still on the small pieces of crystal.

"So you heard... everything?"

"Yes."

"And why didn't you come out here instead of standing behind the door eavesdropping?"

Hermione rolled her eyes at him.

"I was not eavesdropping – you were practically shouting Harry's head off."

"That's right, take Harry's side, you always do!" Ron hollered suddenly as he charged up to her and grabbed her arms. "You're together with me, you're supposed to be on my side!"

"I didn't say that I was on Harry's side, Ron, I simply said that you shouted at him!" Hermione protested, wincing as he clutched her arms harder when she mentioned Harry's name. "Please let me go, you're hurting me."

Ron violently shoved her away from himself and then he stood there looking at her for a moment.

"I'm sorry you didn't get in, Ron," she said quietly, the words coming straight for her heart.

Something blazed in Ron's eyes again.

"No! No, don't you pity me!" he spat and the rage that had built up in him suddenly needed some kind of release.

The next moment, Ron's fist connected to her face, the impact so forceful and surprising that Hermione flew into the wall four steps behind her. She hit her head against the wall and then she slid down to the floor, a shocked, painful moan escaping her lips.

"Don't pity me."

With that, Ron apparated out of the flat, leaving Hermione to lie on the floor as she cried out in pain.

Back in Snape's office, Hermione could tell that the Potions Master was trying very hard to keep his mouth shut. She felt slightly embarrassed that he had seen her get struck in such a way, but she knew that no matter what the next memory was, it would be ten times worse.

"Last one, then, Miss Granger," Snape said as he poured the contents into the Pensieve.

Hermione braced herself, feeling somewhat safe knowing that she would not witness this memory on her own. She remembered that after Ron had hit her that first time, it had only gotten worse. And it had gotten worse quickly.

They were once again transported to the flat and a second later they watched her and Ron come barging through the front door – they were both laughing merrily.

"Thanks for getting me out of the house, Ron," Hermione said, smiling brightly. "I had fun tonight."

"Good, it's been a while since you let yourself let go," Ron answered, his speech slightly slurred. "Just wished you had joined in on the drinking games. You're hilarious when you're pissed."

Hermione rolled her eyes as they walked towards the bedroom.

"I think you and Harry did enough drinking for the four of us," she told him as she kicked her shoes of. "Before we left them, Ginny said she hadn't seen Harry drink so much in a long time."

She pulled her shirt off, revealing a red, lacy push up bra.

Snape's jaw dropped. He hadn't considered the possibilities seeing her undress. He looked at Hermione, who had blushed slightly.

"Miss Granger, do you know what we are about to see?" he asked, silently wondering if it was necessary for him to see her without clothes.

Hermione nodded, her eyes suddenly frightened. She guessed the Potions Master's concern and told him that she wouldn't take of anymore of her clothes. Snape visibly relaxed and Hermione knew that if he knew what they were about to see, he would most likely not want to watch it. She turned back to the watch what was about to unfold.

Ron had a hungry look in his eyes as they traveled up and down her body. He walked around the bed and pulled her into his arms, kissing her passionately. Hermione responded at first, but then she broke away, shaking her head.

"I'm not in the mood for this tonight, Ron," she said slowly. "I'm tired, I have a headache and I need to get up early tomorrow morning to meet with my potions partner."

She made to move away from him, but his arms hardened around her waist. He sat down on the bed and then he buried his face between her breasts, planting kisses on her skin while his hands moved down over her rear.

"Ron, I mean it, I'm not in the mood."

Ron growled as he glared up at her.

"You know, you haven't been in the mood for weeks, Hermione."

"I'm under a lot of stress, Ron. Now back the fuck off."

Snape's eyes widened in surprise. He had never heard her swear before.

"No, I don't think I will," Ron said as he started suckling on her nipple through the lacy bra.

Hermione shoved him away from her, anger blazing in her eyes. Ron looked surprised for a moment before his eyes narrowed. He slowly got up from the bed and advanced on her. Hermione, seeing the weird look in his eyes, instinctively backed away from him.

"I will have you tonight, 'Mione," he said as he pulled of his shirt. "One way or the other."

Hermione looked really frightened now. Her eyes went to her wand on the nightstand. Ron followed her gaze, smirking as their eyes locked again.

"Too bad I already have mine."

Before Hermione could figure out what he exactly meant by that, Ron pulled out his wand from his pocket and said, quite calmly, "Petrificus Totalus." Hermione's body froze and she fell to the floor.

Snape's eyes immediately went to Hermione's. She was already looking at him, a sad expression on her face. He searched her face for answers and what he found did nothing to comfort him.

"You know," Ron said as he undid his pants, "I should have done this a long time ago. It might bring you off your high horse, show you that you're not as special as everyone seems to think."

He got down between her legs and shoved them apart. She was wearing a skirt so all he had to do to get her ready was to pull of her knickers. He discarded them behind his back and then he forcefully shoved himself inside her. He looked into her terrified eyes the entire time. It didn't take long for him to finish. When he was done, he got up, went to bed and left her lying there on the floor.

When they came out of the Pensieve, Hermione was having some kind of panic attack. She couldn't breath properly and Snape never noticed – he was too consumed with his own memories, of a scene he long had repressed suddenly surfaced and hit him like a tidal wave. Before he gone to Hogwarts, his father had come home one night more drunk than he had ever been. His mother had started shouting at him, demanding to know where he had been and the argument had ended when his father had struck her across the face. Then he had had his way with her, ignoring her desperate pleas for him to stop.

Hermione's panic attacked died down at the same time as Snape staggered. Hermione frowned, wondering if she had ever seen him display any form of weakness. He was standing with his hands firmly placed on his desk and it appeared as if this was the only thing that kept him from falling to the floor. She walked up and placed a hand on his shoulder in comfort, but was immediately shrugged off. Hermione did not try to touch him again, but she kept close to him just in case.

"I am not trying to make your pain any lesser, Miss Granger, but seeing that... made me remember things I wish could remain in the dark," he finally said, his voice trembling with emotion.

He turned his head slightly so he could look at her.

"My mother... I saw my mother get raped by my father when I was only seven."

He turned away from her so that he wouldn't be forced to see her reaction. She gasped and reached for him again, placing her hand over his own. This time he didn't shrug her off. This time he allowed this small comfort. A second later he turned his hand around so that Hermione's smaller hand gently rested in the palm of his own. Neither of them new how long they stood there.

"I think we should keep the discussion of your memories until tomorrow, Miss Granger," Snape finally said, sounding weary and almost sad. "I believe this evening has put great strain on us both."

She nodded and retracted her hand, hearing the unspoken dismissal as clearly as if he had said it out loud. Walking towards the door, all she could think of was how wonderful it would be to go to sleep.

"Need I remind you that I am a private man, Miss Granger?" he asked her suddenly.

She turned to look at him, understanding exactly what he was referring to. He didn't want her to tell anyone, not even Harry, about what had happened just now.

"No, professor, you don't," she said reassuringly and after he nodded at her, they told each other good night and then she hurried to her room and her wonderful bed.