Chapter Fifteen
The fox
Finding them had been easy, Severus mused as he observed the three Death Eaters from a far. He had suspected that they would venture to the grounds around the ancestral home of the Avery's, since it was not only the closest to Azkaban, but it was also the one home he knew to be untouched by the Ministry. Like so many other ancient, noble homes, no one would be able to enter without permission from the head of the family. Avery was the last of his line and Severus deemed it very unlikely that he would utter his blessing to Ministry officials who wanted to raid his home after his incarceration.
However, unlike Grimmauld Place, the Avery mansion was neither unplottable nor under the protection of a Fidelius Charm and thus he had very early on seen that they were not residing in the house. He had watched it carefully for nearly three hours and had seen no movement, no flicker of light and most importantly, no smoke rising from the chimney. In this cold, early November chill, the huge mansion was likely to be as cold as the outside air. After spending so much time in that Godforsaken prison, Severus was sure that the escapees would want nothing more than the warmth and light from a roaring fire. He suspected they were close, as they still could gather provisions and supplies from the house. Finally, he spotted the smoke from their camp fire up in the mountains a few miles from the mansion.
He had transformed into his inner animal and trotted up to the camp and he made sure to choose a place that would make him stay hidden while he watched them.
He had not missed these three in the slightest.
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Hermione was insanely worried, but somehow she managed to keep her emotions from the students. It wasn't their business to know that she slowly losing her mind with worry for the Potions Master.
It wasn't anyone's business besides her own.
She had absolutely no idea how she managed to get through all of the Potions classes she was supervising, let alone the full days. At least during teaching hours her mind was occupied; the evenings were too quiet, too lonely. She hadn't realized how much she enjoyed her evenings with Severus, even with the viewings of her memories. On the second night she had even considered playing chess on her own, simply to make sure she wouldn't forget how to play. She had however decided against it, curling up in front of the fire with a book and a steaming cup of hot chocolate instead.
She had flooed Harry the day after Severus had left. The Potions Master had been right; Harry was itching to go after the escaped Death Eaters himself, but thankfully, her friend had grown. He never only relied on his first instincts anymore, but paused to think before he took action. Hermione had promised to let him know if anything more happened, and Harry had, somewhat grudgingly, promised her to stay at the Academy.
Minerva had visited her on the third day, after having a bit of trouble locating the girl. Hermione had sheepishly explained that she felt safest in Severus' quarters, as she had spent so much of her time back at Hogwarts there. When Minerva had glanced towards the Potions Master's bedroom, the younger witch had quickly added that she still retired to her own quarters when it was time for sleep. The headmistress had merely hidden a smile behind her hand before she asked Hermione if she wanted a cup of tea.
On the fifth evening, Hermione had gone several nights without proper sleep. Realizing that Severus would scold her for her declining health, she had visited Poppy and had gotten a sleeping potion in return and that night she slept soundly.
But still she dreamed of him.
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The trek he had been on was never ending, yet he was starting to recognizance the sights and the smells around him. The forest grounds were pitch black, but he could still see everything. He had always enjoyed the heightened senses he got whilst in this form; his sight was usually the sense he relished most – as a creature who had spent most of life creeping in the shadows, being able to see in darkness had always been useful. However, at this moment he valued the heightened survival instinct more than anything. It was truly the only thing that kept him moving forward over the moors and haunted forests of Scotland. Everything in his body hurt, but he refused to let his mind linger on the extent of his injuries. He could only focus on getting back to the Castle. The only he thing he let his mind focus on was his promise. He had promised her to come back.
And dammit, he had always been a man true to his word.
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Hermione glanced up sharply as she stilled the quill; she was sure she had heard something. Her eyes rested on the door, almost daring someone to come barging on at any moment. Nothing happened; after another second she returned to the essay she was grading.
She sighed, rubbing her eyes with her free hand. Six days without Severus and she was growing more edgy and paranoid for each passing day!
"I understand your theory," she read out loud as she continued writing, "and whilst it is a clever idea, you need to broaden your reasoning to reach the desired results."
Hermione's head suddenly snapped up again; this time she most certainly had heard a sound – a sharp yelp echoed in the quiet room. Frowning, she put down the quill and got to her feet, knowing that the sound had not come from a human, but from an animal. A dog, to be exact, if her hearing wasn't off. She slowly opened the door to Snape's office and shrieked in surprise, jumping a few steps back.
It was a fox!
Normally, a fox wouldn't scare her, but she was terrified now for two reasons – one, she neither had her wand nor could she do magic anyway. And two, she had every reason to fear any creature that shouldn't be in the castle in the first place!
The fox took a step forward and Hermione noticed that it had some trouble doing so. It let out another yelp and as it took another step it emitted a high pitched whine. The fox had kept its head down, but now it looked up and stared right into Hermione's wondering eyes. It blinked and then it carefully got down on its side to expose its abdomen, a clear sign of submission. Hermione frowned as she asked herself if this was normal behavior for a fox, but she didn't get much time to think about it as she fox whined again.
Deciding to stop being scared, she took a step forward. She got down on her knees beside the fox, keeping her gaze looked with the fox's. It didn't move other than to breath, which she realized was painful for it, as the panting breaths hitched every know and then. It was clear that the creature was injured, but she couldn't see anything obviously wrong; that must mean it was hurt internally. She jumped when she felt a warm tongue lick her hand and she glanced back into she fox's eyes – eyes that she now saw were black.
Red foxes did not have black eyes. However, an animagus potions master she knew did.
Hermione gasped in surprise.
"Severus?" she whispered, her eyes filling with tears as he started licking her hand with such vigor that she knew it was him. "What happened to you?"
She had not idea why she was asking him; it wasn't as if he could actually answer her in this form.
"I'm going to carry you to your room, Severus, to the couch. Is that alright with you?"
It looked like he inclined his head in his normal fashion, but even if he had violently shaken his head no, she would have done it anyway. She carefully picked him up, his weight taking her by surprise. She surmised that he had more muscles on that lithe frame than she could see. As she straightened up, she adjusted her grasp on him; Severus let out a howl in return that broke Hermione's heart. She placed him on the couch and after gently stroking his head, she dashed over to the fireplace.
"Minerva, emergency! Step through!" she called the moment the green fire roared to life.
"Good gracious, my dear girl, what in Merlin's name is the matter?" came the worried voice of the Headmistress and a second later she appeared in Severus' living room.
Minerva looked over at the couch and started.
"That's a fox, Hermione," she said needlessly, the confusion evident in her voice.
If she hadn't been so worried, Hermione might have found her old head of house's expression funny; now she just got annoyed at the older woman's confusion.
"It's Severus' animagus form, professor! I don't know what's wrong with him, but he's seriously injured and I think he might be trapped in this form!"
Severus let out a yelp in confirmation and the pitiful sound caused Minerva to snap into action; her confused expression morphed into a look of pure determination and her wand was out at the same time she reached Severus' side.
"Get Poppy, Hermione! Hurry!" the headmistress ordered as she started waving her wand in a complicated pattern.
Hermione hesitated as she didn't want to leave him, but then the fox barked and she could have sworn that he was glaring at her, as if trying to get her to get going to the infirmary. With a last look at him, she dashed back to the fireplace. It took her less than five minutes to get Poppy to come through the Floo, but by the time she came back Minerva had moved him to his bedroom. She was relived to see that he was back in human form, but the fact that he was now unconscious worried her. Poppy took charge as she ran several diagnostic spells, all the while muttering under her breath.
"Broken ribs, cracked bone in left leg, crushed bones in three toes, damaged vocal chords, tremors from Cruciatus Curse, numerous cuts and bruises, two serious gashes, blood loss, magical depletion... and a broken pinky."
Hermione would have found some amusement in the broken pinky if she hadn't been so horrified; it seemed to absurd compared to all his other injuries. She watched as the older witches moved around him, itching to help but had no idea how. As if on cue, Poppy looked up and met her gaze.
"Hermione, in his bathroom there should be blood-replenishing potions – grab two. Also, look for a sleeping potion; he's not allowed to wake while his magic is depleted."
Hermione hurried to bathroom, found the potions in question and dashed back to the matron.
"Minerva, you know he detests taking potions and even though he's not awake he will fight us. Try to coax him into swallowing them."
Hermione watched as Minerva tried and failed to get Severus to swallow. Finally, she took a step forward and held out her hand for the first vial.
"May I try?" she asked the headmistress, eyes glued on the Potions Master's face.
Minerva handed her the potion and then Hermione sat down on the bed, bending forward to be able to whisper into Severus' ear.
"Severus, I need you to drink a few potions for me, okay?" she said so low that only he could hear her as she slid her hand into his. "You need these potions to get better. I've been so worried about you. I need you to swallow these potions, for me, Severus."
Severus stirred, but he didn't wake. She put the vial to his lips and after she tipped it over she was delighted to see him gulp down the potion. Only after he had drunk all three potions did she raise her gaze to the other two women. They had identical looks of shock.
"What in Merlin's name did you say to him?" Minerva wondered in awe.
Hermione shrugged her shoulders as she moved out of Poppy's way.
"I said that if he didn't take the potions he wouldn't get better, and if he didn't get better, I would take over his classes and give everyone an Outstanding."
Minerva barked out a short laugh despite her worry and shook her head.
"That would've done it," she commented, clearly pleased and amused at the same time.
Still, something in her voice made the younger witch think that Minerva didn't quite believe her. Hermione kept her facial expression neutral as she reminded herself the she need not have any qualms about lying; she was no longer a student and she was entitled to her secrets. She looked on in silence as Poppy mended his bones and healed his cuts and cuts and slashes.
"He needs Skele-Gro for his toes," the matron said when she was done, immediately whisking off to the infirmary without anther word.
Minerva and Hermione studied Severus in silence; he was breathing peacefully in his drugged-induced sleep. He looked much better after the healing of his wounds, but his face was paler than ever. The silence stretched on until Poppy got back; she handed Hermione a small vial of Skele-Gro and once he had swallowed the potion, the matron left the Potions Master in the capable hands of the Headmistress and the Potions Apprentice.
For a few minutes, the room was silent as the two women watched Severus breathe peacefully.
"You know, I would have thought that with Voldemort's destruction, he would never be forced to put his life in danger again," Minerva suddenly mused sadly. "I didn't want him to go, but he insisted. He was adamant in his belief that he could still get into the heads of those mad men, thus making him our best chance to find them."
Hermione was surprised; when Severus had told her that he was leaving Hogwarts in pursuit of the escaped Death Eaters, it had never crossed her mind that he had volunteered to go on the mission. He certainly hadn't said anything that had given her reason to think that he had willingly left her behind. Stop it, Hermione, she scolded herself. You know better than most that Severus Snape has a sense of honor that compares to no other man. He didn't want to leave you – he had to leave you.
"Albus and I have been restless and worried these past days," Minerva continued, suddenly looking twenty years older, her voice raw with emotion that could only be identified as true compassion for the man currently lying unconscious in his bed, oblivious to the conversation being held around him.
The headmistress' next words came as a shock to her;
"We have been worrying that he might choose not to come back."
Hermione flinched violently, and she tried to recover by adjusting the Potions Master's covers, but the headmistress seemed so deep in thought that she took no notice.
"What do you mean?" the younger witch demanded, sounding more harsh that she had intended to, her eyes finally leaving Severus' face to search her former professor's eyes for answers.
"Oh, Hermione, he never intended to survive the war," Minerva said, her sad eyes meeting Hermione's. "To anyone who doesn't know him, Severus has seemed fine these past years since the fall of that megalomaniac. But those who really care about him, noticed the changes after he woke at St Mungo's. He was depressed for a long time, he never got angry or annoyed, he never seemed to feel anything..."
Minerva trailed off, finally realizing that she was not only rambling, but telling Hermione things that were not her problems to speak of.
"I shouldn't tell you any of this, Hermione," Minerva said suddenly, her voice full of regret. "You know how private he is."
"Then why did you?" Hermione asked, completely unable to hide her curiosity.
Minerva glanced at Severus' sleeping form, contemplating how to best answer.
"Because all of what I told you was true... Until you got here."
Hermione barely dared to move, let alone breath. Minerva gave her an almost calculating look, but there was a warmth in her eyes that made the younger witch relax slightly.
"Hermione, I don't know if your coming here with a problem that needs fixing finally gave him a purpose to start living again," the elderly woman started, her hands folding in her lap. "I don't know if you have simply become friends or if there is something... more... going on."
Hermione started spluttering incoherently, her cheeks suddenly flaming hot. Minerva held up her hands and calmly shushed the younger woman.
"I will not give you or Severus any grief. If you have simply given him purpose by allowing him to help you through your troubles, I thank you for bringing him back to life. If you have become friends, I thank you for seeing past that sneering mask he hides behind. And if there is something... more... going on, then I thank you for opening your heart to a man that truly deserves happiness."
Hermione was at a loss for words, but she felt touched; touched that there was someone apart from her that so obviously cared about Severus Snape. She opened her mouth so say something, but ended up closing it again. The next moment, without really knowing why, there were silent tears streaming down her face.
"Oh, child," Minerva said softly. "Why the tears?"
The younger woman tore her eyes away from the headmistress to the sleeping, injured man whom she had come to trust with her life – the man she was starting to entrust her heart to. Just looking at him made her feel safe; a truly strange feeling after all the time she had spent with Ron.
"I just... I never..."
She choked on the words, not knowing how to continue. Taking a deep breath, she did her best to control the fast beating of her heart; it also gave her a few seconds to gather her thoughts, even though they were in complete turmoil at the moment.
"I've always respected Severus Snape," she finally said, a small tremble in her voice that she couldn't quite shake off. "When we thought he had murdered Professor Dumbledore, something didn't quite sit right with me, no matter how many times Harry told me of what had happened that night. A part of me always trusted Professor Snape, for reasons I can't explain."
She trailed off, lost in thought as the memories of her unwavering trust in Severus during the war came back to her, the conflicting feelings that had confused her so. Logic and reason had yelled at her for ignoring the facts of his betrayal, while her instincts and her heart had calmly whispered to her that not everything about Severus Snape could be viewed in black and white.
"And now, when I've gotten to know him... Even though it's only been a few weeks..."
It was strange for Hermione to have such a hard time finding the right words.
"Once I entered the magical world, I can only ever remember feeling safe at Hogwarts; and along with that feeling of complete trust, all I can see is Harry's face. Strange as this may sounds, I can't remember ever feeling safe with Ron."
The revelation made her pause, but it didn't really shock her.
"When I came back to Hogwarts," she continued, "it was hard for us both to disregard our past differences, but somehow we overcame all that bad history. We came to know each other; we started to care for one another. We became friends."
Somehow she managed to take her eyes off of the sleeping form of Severus Snape; the look in her eyes made Minerva's heart clench painfully with hope that Albus Dumbledore perhaps wasn't quite as dense as she had previously thought.
"I have yet to tell him this, professor... But I think I'm falling in love with him. And it scares me to no end, because this is Severus Snape. The man I've come to know promised me weeks ago that he would never physically harm me. But what of my heart, Minerva?"
The headmistress's heart broke at the anguished sob the younger was unable to contain.
"Give him time, child. Give him time to see the woman you've become. Merlin knows I've never met a more stubborn man, so he might be difficult; it will never be easy loving a man like Severus Snape, as he has never had much love in his life. But, Hermione, you'll never find a more loyal man than him. It will be a leap of faith to entrust your heart to him and I cannot give you any guarantees."
She gently took Hermione's hand in her own, stroking her thumb over the younger witch's palm
"From what I've seen the past weeks, I don't believe that you have much to be afraid of; the changes in Severus are astounding and they all happened after you got here. You are the one who has brought him back to life and I don't truly believe that it only has to do with helping you. He cares about you, child. I know it and you know it – and tell me, how many people can you think of where you can clearly see that he cares?"
Hermione contemplated the Headmistress' words in silence and finally she tore her eyes away from the woman to once again observe the sleeping man. She barely noticed when Minerva slipped her hand out of Hermione's, nor when the older woman stood and quietly left the room.
It was some time later that Hermione finally kicked off her shoes and crawled up in the empty space on the bed next to Severus. Laying on her side, all she did for a long time was watch him. Before she knew it, she had fallen asleep.
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Severus woke up the next morning with a feeling of contentment. The first thing he noticed was that he was back in human form; he would not be sleeping flat on his back as an Animagus. His body did not hurt as much and he was well rested – surely that meant that he had finally gotten back to the Castle. He opened his eyes and was met by the familiar sight of the stone ceiling of his bedroom. He let out a sigh of relief and then finally started moving a little to test his muscles, joints and bones.
The action caused someone next to him to move as well.
His heart flew up in his throat and Severus' head immediately snapped to the left. Just as quickly as he gotten startled, he calmed. He felt his tenseness leave him, the muscles in his face softening. Hermione was sleeping on her right side next to him, her arm tucked up under her head. He had never seen her look so peaceful or relaxed, even though her wild hair was obscuring most of her face.
He knew in that moment that he had never seen anything so beautiful.
Carefully, he started turning his body so that he too could lay on his side. He wanted to watch her, for as long as he could. However, he struggled to do so; apparently he was more injured than he had previously thought. Just as he managed to get on his left side, Hermione stirred next to him and suddenly her eyes snapped open.
Neither of them spoke for a few moments; all they did was stare at one another.
"Hey," Hermione finally whispered in greeting as she scooted closer to him.
Severus' breath hitched as she didn't stop coming closer until their noses were almost touching; he could feel her breath on his skin. Carefully, she placed her palm on his cheek. She hadn't noticed yesterday, but now she realized that he hadn't shaved since he left the Castle. Severus didn't dare move; he was terrified of doing something, anything, to scare her away.
"You came back," she stated, unable to hide the relief she felt in saying those words.
Severus closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath; he wanted to remember everything about this moment. The feeling of her hand on his cheek, her warm breath on his skin and the scent that was so clearly uniquely hers.
"I gave you my word," he rasped out, his vocal chords scratching his throat fiercely.
"Sch, you shouldn't speak too much," she said softly. "Your injuries were... extensive. I should floo Poppy here to come look at you."
She hesitated for a moment, but then she reluctantly started pulling away with a great sigh. Severus grabbed her by the arms and pulled her towards him, making her squeak of surprise. He rolled her on to her back and laid himself half on top of her, his legs brushing the side of hers. The next few seconds, all he did was look at her, carefully searching her eyes. When he saw no fear or loathing, only trust and hope, he leaned down over her and gently brushed his lips against hers. Hermione let out a small moan at the contact and flung her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
She opened her mouth to grant him entrance and when their tongues met, Severus let out a growl that sent a wave of arousal throughout her entire body. His arms came in underneath her as their heated kiss continued, their tongues dancing. Hermione's fingers grabbed at his hair and she wanted him closer, wanted him to touch her everywhere.
But just as a week ago, they were interrupted. This time, by a knock on the door. They pulled away from each other, sharing a look that burned with desire as they struggled to control their breathing. Finally, Severus got back down on his back and Hermione got out of the bed, quickly straightening out the sheet where she had slept before she hurried over to the door.
It was only Minerva. Breathing out a sigh of relief, Hermione knew she didn't have to explain the delay in opening the door to the Headmistress. Poppy would have been very suspicious and Hermione was glad she didn't have to think of lie.
Minerva gave Hermione a small, knowing smile before peering past her at the Potions Master.
"Sorry for disturbing you, but I simply couldn't stand not knowing how you are any longer."
"Your concern is touching, Minerva," Severus rasped, not unkindly. "I am quite well."
Minerva's eyebrows wrinkled with concern at the sound of his voice.
"If you think I will simply take your word for it, you are sorely mistaken, Severus," the Headmistress said authoritatively. "Hermione, might I ask you to get Poppy?"
"Of course, Minerva," the younger witch replied.
She couldn't help shooting Severus a last, longing glance before she left to floo the matron. Severus could not help his eyes watching her retreating form leaving the room. As he turned his gaze back to Minerva, he caught the look in her eyes and he froze.
How in Merlin's name was it possible that she already knew?
"If you try telling me that you don't care for her, Severus, I will crush the bones in your toes, despite knowing that you've just had them regrown."
Severus blinked, his mouth thinning into a line. For a brief moment, Minerva thought that he might tell her off. Finally, he let out a soft sigh.
"I would never deny that to you, Minerva," he said, leaving it at that.
He saw her nod slowly and the next moment Hermione and Poppy entered the room. He let the matron do her job, all the while looking at Hermione. She kept still in the corner of the room, and she couldn't help smiling at him every now and then.
Minerva observed them both and what she saw made her heart soar with delight. She wondered if they knew just how deeply they had already fallen.
