Chapter Twenty

The beginning of something more

In the previous chapter:

"Did you mean it?"

Severus' quiet question was laced with something she couldn't quite understand. He didn't sound upset, but his body language hinted at something else.

"Did I mean what?"

Hermione had no idea what he was talking about.

"You just said you love me."

Hermione had never heard such vulnerability in someone's voice before. She stared at him blankly for a moment until what he had said registered in her mind.

"I just said… what?"

Had she really heard him correctly?

"You just said that it makes you love me even more."

"I…"

Well, Merlin's Balls. She had just said that, hadn't she? Her throat suddenly felt very dry and looking into his eyes she tried to read how he felt about hearing those words from her lips. His eyes betrayed nothing. Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth to tell him the truth.

HP * HP * HP * HP * HP

"Yes, Severus. I mean it. Of course I love you; even if I kind of said it without thinking, it's not something I would ever say without meaning it."

Severus still hadn't moved; he just sat there, staring at her without blinking. Hermione was just starting to feel a little worried that she had done something to seriously injure their new relationship when he finally blinked once and shook his head to clear his foggy mind.

"I'm sorry," he said hurriedly, "but apart from my mother, no one has ever said that to me."

Hermione's jaw dropped in shock. Surely someone had…! But as she thought back on the few things she knew about his past, it occurred to her that he must be right. When would he have had the time or the chance to fall in love?

She scooted closer to him and placed a warm palm on his cheek. He closed his eyes in wonderment.

"I do love you, Severus, that much I know. After everything you've done for me, and the friendship that has developed out of mutual respect and trust for one another, makes it's quite natural for me to love you."

Her tone of voice made his eyes pop open again. He was certain there was a 'but' coming and it made his heart clench painfully.

"But I will be honest with you," Hermione continued slowly as her gaze held his steadily. "While I think there's a very good chance that I am falling in love with you…"

His heart skipped a beat and he blinked furiously a couple of times.

"… I'm not quite there yet. That side of our relationship is so new. But I'm ready to explore it further and see where it takes us. Are you?"

Her question caught him off guard. Never before had he been in a position where that kind of question would be thrown at him. The young witch watching him intently had a hope in her eyes he never thought would be directed at him. No one had ever wanted Severus Snape in such a way before. He was out of his depth, and he didn't like it much – he had survived all these years on what he knew about his adversaries and keeping to himself whenever he could. With Hermione, all of that became impossible. Something he found he didn't mind as much.

"Yes, Hermione... I am."

It was all he managed to say before she launched herself at him, molding her body into his and pressing her lips against his. Severus had never before been kissed like this; it felt as if the lithe witch in his arms was pouring all of her passion, love and desire into the kiss, as if desperately trying to show him just how much he meant to her. It made his head spin and his heart soar.

She crawled up into his lap, straddling him, and cupped his cheeks in both hands as her warm tongue dove into his mouth. His arms circled around her and he grew instantly annoyed at the amount of fabrics in between them – the robes they both wore made it impossible to feel even a speck of flesh and all he wanted was to lay his palms flush on her back to feel that she truly was there.

Growling, he somehow manged to get to his feet with Hermione securely in his arms and he carried her straight to his bedroom. Placing her on his bed, he stood above her for a moment, just watching her. As he recognized the same fire in her eyes that he felt in his soul, he started unbuttoning his outer robe as fast as he could without looking like an impatient school boy. Hermione's eyes widened in excitement as she realized what was going to happen and she hurriedly sat up to copy him.

"No, no, Hermione. Please allow me."

Hermione froze; she knew the sudden fear was probably irrational, but aside from Ron, no one had undressed her. And he hadn't done it in a loving way, he had ripped her clothes apart despite her pleading him to stop.

Severus noticed the change in her immediately and wanted to curse himself. How many times had he not seen her cower in fear as that imbecile had destroyed her clothes in his haste to have his way with her?

Discarding his robe on the floor, he lay down on his side next to her, gently cupping her cheek.

"I will never force you," he vowed passionately, his thumb slowly caressing her skin.

Hermione looked up at him with wide eyes.

"I know, I just...," she trailed off, not quite knowing what to say.

Severus leaned forward and gave her a slow kiss, making her body relax again.

"I know. If and when you want me to stop, all you have to do is say so. But to put your mind at ease, I will not make love to you tonight."

Hermione started sputtering in protest, but all he did was kiss her again.

"No, my witch," he said in between kisses. "Not tonight. Neither of us are ready for that step."

She couldn't argue with that. No matter how much she wanted him, she didn't want to rush in to anything, after all her horrific experiences with Ron. And from Severus' point of view, all of this was very new to him as well; they would have to be considerate of each other.

Severus finally pulled back and gave her a very serious look.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes," came her immediate, almost breathless, answer.

Without breaking eye contact he started unbuttoning her robes. Her mouth was slightly opened in anticipation as she waited for the heavy garment to come off. She wriggled to help him get her robes off and saw him discard the piece of clothing on the floor. Then she simply watched him like a hawk, trying to decipher his next move.

"All I want tonight, is to bring you pleasure, Hermione," he said softly as he hitched her shirt up a tiny bit to be able to ghost his fingers across her soft skin, letting out a content sigh at the same moment Hermione did. "I want you to remember what intimacy should feel like. I want to feel you come undone, to moan and sigh as it happens."

His hand came down on her flat stomach as he dove into her mouth, their tongues mixing together in a hungry dance neither of them had control over. She was already moaning and it was the sweetest sound Severus had ever heard. Pulling back from her lips, he once again gave her a very serious look – he wanted no misunderstandings.

"Will you let me try?"

"Gods, yes! Severus, touch me, please!" she begged as she bucked her hips towards him, needing more of him.

Severus didn't need more of an invitation. In one swift move he had her shirt off and the next moment he froze at what he saw – a scar, reaching from her shoulder diagonally across her entire front, down to her hip.

"Hermione, did Mr Weasley..."

He couldn't even finish. Hermione picked up on the anguish in his voice and immediately noticed where his gaze was glued to.

"Oh!" she breathed and scrambled to a sitting position in the middle of the bed, quickly covering herself with her hands as her face burned in shame.

How could she have forgotten about her hideous scar?

"Hermione, please don't hide yourself from me, just tell me..."

"I'm so sorry, I completely forgot about it," Hermione choked out, not hearing his words, as tears formed in her eyes.

Severus' jaw dropped in shocked surprise. Why on earth was she apologizing to him? He quickly kicked off his shoes and cautiously sat down next to her. She refused to look at him and her breathing was shallow, as if she was close to having a panic attack.

"Hermione, breathe," he said gently, as his hand carefully started rubbing her back.

She flinched violently and scooted further back on the bed like a fearful animal.

"Hermione, what...?"

She started shaking her head as her knees came up to her chest, her eyes tightly shut. Stupid, stupid, stupid! He wouldn't want her now! How could she have forgotten?

"Hermione!" Severus suddenly said more forcefully, hoping to snap her out of whatever was going through her mind. "Hermione, look at me!"

She jumped and was somehow able to refuse his direct order. Her gaze met his, and it took all of Severus' willpower not to dive into her mind, the reminder of what had happened last time still fresh in his memory. Instead he steadily held her gaze as he slowly crept closer to her. Something in her eyes gave him a clue as to what she was feeling and he desperately hoped he now chose the right way to continue.

"Do you trust me?" he asked again, his voice soft as velvet.

Hermione let out a shaky breath.

"Yes," she whispered, blinking away a tear.

He gently unfolded her legs and pulled her down until she was lying flat on her back, her head resting on a pillow. Next he pried her arms away from her torso and gave the scar a closer look. She was nearly hyperventilating at his scrutiny, but did nothing to fight him off.

"This type of scar is a product of dark magic," he finally deduced as he tracked the scar with his fingers, quickly retracting his hand when he felt her tense. "Mr Weasley could not have done this to you."

"No, it was Dolohov," Hermione said so quietly Severus had to strain his ears to hear. "At the Ministry, fifth year."

Something clicked in Severus' memory.

"Was the curse a purplish flame?"

Hermione suddenly looked surprised.

"Yes. How did you know?"

"It was his favorite," Severus said simply as he tried to digest the information he had just gotten. "He might have even constructed it on his own; I never really knew exactly what it did, but... I don't understand. You should be dead; there's no counter for that curse."

Hermione blinked; that was the last thing she had expected him to say.

"I had silenced him; maybe throwing it at me non verbally took the edge off?"

He contemplated her answer and then gave a thoughtful nod of his head.

"Very possible," was all he said before once again looking down at the scar. "Now that I have you back, can you explain what just happened?"

Hermione stiffened and jerked her arms as if she meant to cover herself up again. Severus stopped her movement by grabbing a hold of her arms, pinning them to the bed, and gently shaking his head.

"Don't hide yourself from me," Severus pleaded with her. "You are the most beautiful witch I have ever seen and this scar does nothing to change my view of you. You must understand that."

Suddenly the woman in front of him looked uncertain and in the next moment he knew why she had reacted the way she had.

"Ronald made you believe otherwise," he said bluntly.

She swallowed and gave a single nod. Severus shook his head in disgust; the damage that boyhad done to her was truly appalling.

"It was one of his favorite jibes; reminding me that no one would look twice at me after seeing such a disgusting scar. He told me that no one but him would want to come near my breasts after seeing them and that whenever he played with them I should feel honored."

"And did he actually ever give you pleasure or was he simply manhandling such treasures for his own use?"

Hermione flushed red at the direct question.

"I don't think I can feel pleasure there," she said sadly, "not after the curse."

Now that sounded like a challenge in Severus' ears.

"Hermione... I would desperately like to prove you wrong. May I?"

"I don't want to disappoint you, Severus..."

He shut her up with a kiss. At first, it was just a sweet kiss, a way to remind her that she was in the presence of someone who would put her needs first. And then he deepened the kiss, his tongue eagerly meeting hers as his left arm came to rest under her neck. With his right hand he gently started trailing circles around her navel, his touch so light that she almost felt the need to arch up into his touch to feel more of him. He felt her relax and give in to the sensations she was feeling and he took that as his cue to continue upwards. Pulling back ever so slightly from her delicious mouth, he watched her reaction as his thumb gently grazed one of her nipples through the fabric of her bra.

"Oh!"

Her shocked gasp of pleasure was music to his ears and he dove into her mouth once more. Before he knew what had happened, she had rolled them over so that she straddled him instead. Pulling back from him, Hermione noticed that Severus looked a bit dazed as he watched her. Before she lost her nerve, she reached back and unhooked her bra. She did, however, not take it off. Feeling her uncertainty once again, Severus sat up, adjusting her slightly in his lap before looking deeply into her eyes as he brushed a stray lock of hair from her face.

"So beautiful," he murmured before pulling her lips down to meet his once again.

Neither one of them would ever grow bored of their kissing. It was like nothing they had ever experienced; as soon as their mouths connected in this passionate dance it felt as if everything was right in the world.

It felt very much like coming home.

Without breaking apart, they got the bra off together and Severus sent it flying to the floor. With one arm firmly around her back, his other hand was free to finally feel the soft, velvety flesh of her breast. Knowing she liked it the first time, he moved his thumb over her nipple again and she arched into him, a moan escaping through her lips. He then cupped her breast and gave it a gentle squeeze, to which she threw her head back with a small scream.

"What are you doing to me?" she panted out in between breaths, her eyes closed as she was completely filled with sensations in her body that she had never felt before.

"Proving you wrong," was all Severus said before he flipped her over on her back.

Full of confidence that she really was enjoying what he was doing to her, he lay himself on top of her so that his face was in perfect alignment with her breasts, his arms resting on the mattress. Just looking at them for a moment he couldn't help thanking his lucky star and Merlin himself that this witch was trusting him to do this. He buried his face in between her breasts, planting kisses on her flesh before cupping them both, this time brushing his thumbs over both nipples at the same time. She grabbed his head as she moaned, a wild gasp suddenly erupting from her as his mouth closed around one nipple. Her back arched as he sucked and nibbled on it, his hand messaging the other breast in a way that made her mind shut down in pure bliss.

Severus was so hard by now that he had trouble concentrating. He had been with women, but never before had it felt anything like this. What completely astounded him was the fact that he was so turned on simply from touching her. Her reactions to him, the desperate need for him to touch her more, left him achingly harder than he had ever been in his life.

"Severus... I need... more!"

The pleading in her voice was undeniable. It was impossible for him to deny her anything, so his hand immediately left her breast to unbutton her jeans. Lifting himself up to be able to reach, he was taken by surprise when she suddenly pushed him off her to the side. He had only meant to open her jeans, he could easily give her pleasure with her pants still on, but she made her own choice by impatiently wriggling out of them, along with her panties. Severus was stunned as he watched the now completely naked with in awe.

He had never seen anything so perfect.

"Touch me, please!"

Hermione couldn't explain why she was so desperate for his touch. All she knew was that she had never felt like this before and she needed more.

Now lying next to her, Severus returned to her mouth. Cupping her mound, he couldn't help the groan the escaped him. The heat radiating from her core was intoxicating and without checking first, he knew she would be drenched. Hermione bucked her hips, her impatience growing at his lack of action. One of his fingers dipped into her and they broke away from each other with a synchronized moan.

"So wet, my witch," Severus groaned with pleasure, his forehead resting against hers. "so wet. And we've barely started."

Hermione was now beyond speaking. Severus had barely begun touching her most intimate place and she already felt as she was coming completely undone. What in Merlin's name was happening? Either by Ronald's or her own hand, it had never felt like this before.

Severus found her nub with ease and he started a slow, steady pace, her breathing and moaning his only guides to what she liked. He dipped his mouth down over her nipple, his tongue swirling over it in a way that had her writhing under him. He gently bit down and suddenly Hermione's world exploded, her mind turning in to a white light as she lifted from the bed.

"Uuuuuuuuugh!"

The sound that escaped from her lips as she came took Severus by surprise and he watched her face in stunned silence as she rode out her orgasm. He had never made a witch come so fast before. Despite her shaking, he kept his steady pace on her nub, watching her face in awe as the shaking slowly died down. Panting for breath she kept her eyes closed, but finally she stilled. Severus' breathing was shallow as he watched her, his hand now only cupping her center. He kept his hand there, enjoying the warmth and the moisture, as he dropped his head to the pillow, his face close enough to her cheek for his nose to just touch her.

For several minutes, neither one of them spoke a word.

"Are you cold?" Severus finally asked her, knowing there was a slight draft crossing over his bed coming from the cracks in the stone wall.

Hermione let out a puff of air; it might have been quiet a laugh, but Severus couldn't be sure.

"No. I feel as if I'm on fire," she answered as she curled her body into his arms, her head resting in the crook of his neck. "That was absolutely amazing, Severus. I can't even describe it. It has never, ever felt like that before. Ever"

Severus closed his eyes in relief, a small smile playing on his lips. He knew he had succeeded in bringing her pleasure, but it was an extraordinary feeling knowing that the act had been an unique experience for them both.

"No one has ever reacted to my touch the way you did tonight," Severus admitted as his hands started stroking her back. "I have never been so affected before."

Hermione's head popped up and she gave him a searching look. Then her gaze shifted down to his body and there she could she it; the proof of his desire for her – quite a visible bulge that made her briefly wonder about his size – that had yet to deflate.

"I completely forgot about you," she said bluntly.

So bluntly, in fact, that Severus barked out a laugh.

"That is quite alright, my dear."

She bit her lip as she looked back and forth between his face and his erection.

"Do you want me to... reciprocate?"

Severus' eyes was full of mirth as he gently grabbed her chin with his thumb and index finger, bringing her mouth down to his for a soft kiss.

"As much as I appreciate the offer, Hermione, I told you from the start that tonight was about you and your pleasure. And I don't need to finish to have found the experience just as wonderful as you did."

She gave him a doubtful look and he immediately knew what she was thinking.

"Unlike boys, real men know that true pleasure comes from both giving and receiving; that if you only enjoy receiving, you are missing something fundamental about the act of love making. Some boys never learn this and will continue to only seek their own pleasure."

He turned to his side, forcing her on to her back again. His eyes wandered down over her body and he loved that she was doing nothing to cover herself.

"Seeing, hearing and feeling you react to my kisses, to my touch and to my tongue left me more turned on than I have been in my life," he said, a sudden thickness in his voice.

Merlin's beard how he needed to touch her again. His fingers started a slow trail over her soft skin, starting at her throat and working his way down. Her breath hitched as his fingers drew circles around her nipples and she couldn't help the growl that escaped her when his fingers continued to her stomach without actually touching them. Severus gave her a smirk, his eyebrow lifting in challenge for a moment before he grew serious again.

"Seeing you come undone with such abandon was one of the most exhilarating things I've experienced in my life. Why would I want that image to go away for something so mundane as being brought to orgasm myself? No, there will be time for that. Later. For now, I would very much like to focus on you."

Cupping her mound once more, Hermione's eyes widened. Was he really going in for another round? Ron had rarely even given her a round one, as sex, even before the abuse, had usually always been about him. As Severus leaned down to claim her lips, Hermione realized that she really had to stop comparing the two of them, as they clearly were in two very different leagues.

Her mind became foggy as his fingers once more found a steady pace. She vaguely wondered where he had learned these skills, but all coherent thought disappeared when one of his fingers entered her. She had never realized that this was how sexual intimacy was supposed to be like.

They fell asleep much later, exhausted but happy and satisfied. Little did they know that Hermione's first orgasm had woken the tiny, fractured pieces of her magical core; by her third orgasm, they were practically buzzing. As she came down from the high of her fifth orgasm, two pieces had even come together, latching on to each other without letting go.

Without knowing it, Hermione was healing. As she slept, she dreamed of magic and love. Nothing concrete – nothing she would remember when morning came – but when she woke in the morning, another three pieces of her magical would have latched on to each other.

Severus had a fretful sleep; he could hear someone or something calling out to him, but he couldn't tell where it was coming from. It wanted him desperately and he could feel something in his body reacting to it, wanting to find and answer the mysterious pull.

Deep inside them, something was stirring. Something that had been kept dormant during all of the years they had known each other, but was now beginning to awaken the closer they became.

Their souls were stirring. And they were desperate to find each other.